At least she had dressed carefully and knew she looked her best in a pale soft green georgette dress with full pleaded skirt and matching coat. A small chiffon-covered picture hat in a toning shade enhanced the grey of her eyes and shadowed the rich auburn of her silky hair coiled into a soft and heavy knot.
At the reception everything was a blur. She was immediately surrounded by old mates. Mike and Susan were there with the girls, Charlie and a girl-friend chatted and joked, and Davina forced herself to concentrate on them, what they were saying and how they looked. She refused to allow her eyes to roam the room to find Jake.
Then for a moment she was alone, gazing unseeingly down at plates of tempting snacks, holding a champagne glass in her hand. Speeches and toasts were over, and people were wandering about, laughing and chatting.
'Hello, Davina.'
She looked up straight into Jake's face. 'Hello, Jake,' she said quietly.
'How are you?' he asked next.
'Fine, thank you.' Davina found her throat constricted. After that first glance she stared as if hypnotised down into her glass.
'Have you come up for the day for this do, or are you staying over?' he asked.
She looked up at that. 'What do you mean?' she asked stupidly. Where was she supposed to have come up from? Hampstead? She looked at him. He was as always impeccably dressed in a pale grey lightweight silk suit with a darker grey shirt and light tie. He seemed to have lost weight and his height was even more pronounced because he was thinner. His face was still tanned, but he looked tired, with deep shadows under his eyes and lines between his brows and from the strong nose down to his mouth, drawn into a grim line that accentuated the jutting chin. The thick dark hair had new white streaks in it, and his eyes were veiled, guarded. Davina wasn't sure if he was bored, but he didn't look well.
'Can I fill up your glass?' His voice was polite.
'No, thank you,' she said. 'I have to be going.'
'Can I give you a lift anywhere?' he asked sharply.
'Thank you,' she said in the same polite voice, 'I have my own car here.'
'Yes, of course.' He paused for an awkward moment. 'No doubt you're heading straight out of London in this lovely weather.'
'As a matter of fact I am, yes.' She looked up at him. 'Are you?'
'No, I'm staying in London,' he said curtly.
'Er… how is your father?' Davina asked next, wishing this awful conversation would end and not knowing quite how to finish it.
'Not very well.'
'Oh, I'm sorry,' she said, forgetting the awkwardness between them. 'Is it serious?'
'We're not sure yet,' he replied, his look suddenly intent, so that she had to look down to hide the blush that was creeping into her face. 'He's in a London hospital undergoing tests to see if he really needs this operation.'
'Oh, please,' Davina said urgently, 'will you tell him…'
'He would like very much to see you,' Jake interrupted harshly, 'but I told him you wouldn't have the time and you'd probably be in Cornwall.'
She bit her lip nervously. 'Oh, but I… I'd like to see him, to visit, if he really wants me to. Which hospital is it?'
'He would like that,' said Jake, his voice no longer cold. 'In fact I shall be going on there from this do. If you'd care to come with me I could take you and deliver you back here to your car. It's St Thomas's… not very far.'
He was waiting, suddenly tense, for her answer. She turned her face to his and their eyes locked. For a moment tension seemed to throb between them and the guards were down. Davina felt as if she was drowning in emotion, and she didn't know if it was his or hers. More than she'd ever wanted anything in her life, she wanted his arms round her and his body close to hers, to run her hands through his hair and to feel his mouth against her lips. The strength of her own feelings frightened her with their intensity.
'Well, you two,' said a gay, familiar voice, 'aren't you eating.?'
Davina dragged her eyes away from Jake, as Georgina put an arm round each of them affectionately. She blushed a fiery red and tried to hide her embarrassment.
'I'm afraid I'm not really very hungry,' she said brightly.
'It has to be that. You can't be dieting—I've never seen you so thin.' Georgina turned to Jake.
'I shall have to tear her away from you for a little while,' she said. 'Davina has promised to help me with something upstairs.'
Jake had withdrawn his gaze and was looking round the room. Davina wondered if Anita was with him. She hadn't seen her in church, but she might well be here.
He nodded coolly to both of them. 'I'll take myself off, then,' he drawled. 'I wouldn't want to interfere with girlish confidences. If you'll both excuse me, I'll find Larry and say my goodbyes.'
Georgina put her hand on his arm. 'Thank you, Jake, for everything,' she said affectionately. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him lightly on the cheek. 'Bless you… and take care of yourself.'
She took her hand away and he was gone.
As Davina followed her from the room and up the stairs to the nursery, she felt in a turmoil. She was walking and talking quite mechanically, her mind and her heart still with Jake, wherever he was at that moment.
Georgina opened the door to a sunny bedroom, windows open to the afternoon breeze with cot and toys and chests neatly tidy against a pretty pale blue wallpaper and rugs underfoot on the polished parquet floor.
'We won't be disturbed here because Mum has Adam in her bedroom for a bit. He was so good in church that he's quite exhausted and has dropped off to sleep on her bed. She'll sit patiently watching to make sure he doesn't roll off.' She looked rather searchingly at Davina's pale face. 'Let's sit down for a minute. It's not too comfortable, but I do want to see you without interruptions, and almost everywhere in the house today someone is sure to pop in unexpectedly.'
'Adam's so gorgeous, you must be terribly proud of him… and Larry,' Davina said, smiling.
'Yes, I'm lucky. Larry wanted a boy, because he feels he's starting a family rather late. I just wanted a healthy baby, and that I have. But that's not what I want to talk about.'
She hesitated. 'Davina, I want to talk to you about Jake.'
'No!' Davina couldn't help the agonised explanation. 'I mean… really, I don't want to go into the whole business of why I left Fosters…' She smiled rather mistily at the other girl.
'I don't mean Foster Patterson,' said Georgina. 'I would have to be blind not to see what you two feel for each other. I interrupted because I thought you might actually start making love right there and then in a room full of people.'
'Oh, dear!' Davina blushed. 'I'm sorry, am I that obvious?'
'My dear, it's not only you. It's him, too.'
'No, unfortunately not,' Davina said quietly.
'That's what I want to discuss. How much do you know about Jake?' asked Georgina. Davina looked at her questioningly. 'I mean how much do you know about his family life, his past?'
'I don't know much about his past. I've met his family… his father.'
'I wonder if you know about Linda?' Georgina asked.
'Linda?' Davina echoed.
'Linda was a staggeringly beautiful teenager. I only met her years after Jake knew her, but even then she was ravishing. And she had it all… looks, brains, money. When Jake met her he must have been about twenty-three or four, and she was seventeen. He adored her. She was spoilt, an only child of a doting father. But Jake could see no fault in her.'
'Did he tell you all this?' Davina asked.
'No. I had it in fact from a neighbour of theirs who knew Mum,' Georgina explained. 'Jake was mad to marry her. They became secretly engaged because she told him her father wouldn't let her marry till she was of age. On her eighteenth birthday Jake insisted they tell her father. She didn't want to, but he blurted it out to her father, who promptly threw him out of the house.'
'Why.'
'Because, it seems, madam had been leading Jake up the garden path, but Daddy assumed Jake had taken
advantage of her youth and innocence. She had a fiancé already. It was an arranged match and the man was much older than Linda, picked by her father, who was determined his daughter would marry a man as rich as she was herself, and someone, who would care for her as she'd been used to at home. At that time, of course, Jake had nothing and was a nobody. As you know, his vast wealth is kept very quiet and was amassed much later. Well, Linda knew all about this marriage and was quite happy to wait for it, but in the meantime she amused herself with the local boys.'
'Jake must have been very hurt,' Davina whispered.
'He was, desperately hurt, especially in his pride, that Linda could have deceived him. He was pretty heavily disillusioned, and he's never been close to a woman since.' Georgina was wandering up and down the room. 'I know about all the ladies he squires around. Of course he's had women—he's attractive, wealthy, and he's a passionate man. But they're always a good deal older than Linda was and they all know the score. No one gets hurt when it's over, least of all Jake,' she sighed sadly, 'because Jake makes sure he's never involved… so you see, he wouldn't know how to handle things if he did… er… really find himself involved.'
For a moment neither of them spoke. Then Davina wondered if Georgina knew about Anita. She guessed not. A lot of things now made sense that had puzzled her— why Jake should love and want to marry someone so much younger. It was because he could prove to himself that a lovely, wealthy and young woman really wanted him for himself.
'Yes,' she said eventually, 'I see. Thank you for telling me. That makes sense of a lot I hadn't understood.'
'Good,' said Georgina with relief, 'and now whatever it is that's kept you apart…'
'It doesn't change anything between us,' Davina interrupted hurriedly.
'Are you sure?'
'Yes, quite sure. And I don't really want to talk about it. Thank you for telling me. I'm grateful you told me, and it helps in a way. I can also understand your concern for Jake. But he and I… we don't have anything any more. What you… thought you saw downstairs is just a passing unimportant impulse for him. It means nothing.'
'… And will I please mind my own business,' Georgina sighed. 'I get exactly the same from Jake, in less polite language when I try.'
'Oh, no, you haven't talked to him about me!' exclaimed Davina. 'Please, I beg of you Georgina, don't! If you have any affection for either of us, please don't. I really couldn't cope with that as well…' Her voice broke and she knew she had given away her feelings to Georgina.
'Very well.' Georgina didn't turn round from the window. 'Don't get upset—I'll leave it. I know what a terrible mess well-meaning friends can make of things… it's just that I hate to see you both so unhappy. He's aged so much and looks so bitter, and you're so thin and pale…'
Davina's voice was firm. 'I'm thin because I've been working very hard, and he may well be strained and worried because his father is ill.'
'You neither of you give an inch,' Georgina sighed wearily. 'Jake is almost a stranger now. Today is the first time we've seen him in months, and I know you've been avoiding us.' She turned round to face Davina. 'Perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe you are better apart to find other people with whom you can be happy.' She smiled. 'Let's leave it at that. Larry warned me not to talk to you about it, but you know me, I always like to have my say. Will you forgive me?'
Davina smiled a little tearfully. 'There's nothing to forgive. It's nice to have friends who care.'
As soon as she let herself out of the house she could smell the tobacco of Jake's cheroot. He was leaning smoking against the side of the car, his town Porsche this time and not the Rolls. Her heart sank. She felt quite unable to cope with him or with herself.
He threw away the cigar and straightened as she walked hurriedly to her own car. 'Are you ready to come to the hospital with me?' he asked, immediately behind her as she put the key into the door of her own car.
She tensed. 'I'm sorry, Jake.' She turned round to face him and opened her car door. He was unexpectedly much closer than she realised. 'I… can't, I'm afraid,' she faltered and looked up into his face.
He moved suddenly and rather threateningly towards her, pushing her hard against the car so that she felt his breath on her face.
'Please, Jake,' she whispered. 'Georgina, Larry… not here!'
'Very well,' he said coldly, 'come with me.' He gripped her arm tightly with one hand and took the keys from her with the other, locking her car and then marching her firmly towards the Porsche.
Inside the confines of the small sports car, Davina was overwhelmingly aware of him, his familiar aftershave cologne, the long legs, narrow hips and wide shoulders in the silk suit and the male tang of him that was uniquely Jake in her memory. In the bright afternoon sunlight he looked almost gaunt. She noticed his hands on the wheel, and there was no wedding ring, only the beautiful onyx she knew so well. She felt the aching emptiness and longing for him swamping her at his nearness, and she turned away to hide her face, looking out of the window.
'This isn't the way to St Thomas's,' she said suddenly.
'That's right.' His voice was clipped.
'Where are you taking me?' she demanded.
'Oh, do stop agitating, Davina, you're not about to be kidnapped.' His voice was impatient. 'I have to pick something up at my flat on the way.'
'No,' she didn't want to go back to his home with him, 'I can't! Look, Jake, you're making things difficult… perhaps it would be better if I went to the hospital another time…' Her voice tailed off.
'Possibly,' Jake said briefly.
The rest of the journey was finished in silence and they drove down the ramp into the underground garage of his block of flats. The cool darkness hit her after the brilliant sunlight and she blinked nervously as he parked the car and got out. He came round to her side of the car and opened the door, but she didn't move.
'Come on, Davina, I haven't all night,' he said irritably.
'I'll wait here,' she said more firmly than she felt.
'You're coming upstairs,' he said flatly. 'Either you'll walk or I'll carry you.' He waited. 'Davina!' he intoned warningly.
She got out hurriedly. They walked to the lift and Jake unlocked the doors. They rode up to his flat in silence, not looking at each other. In the hall he left her.
'After that terrible champagne I need some coffee,' he flung at her, heading for the kitchen. 'Make yourself at home.'
The flat looked exactly the same. She remembered the night they had talked into the early hours and it felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened and so much had changed since then.
'The coffee's percolating.' Jake appeared, taking off his jacket and loosening his tie. 'I'm just going to change out of these glad rags.' He avoided her eyes. 'Would you like a drink?'
'No, thank you,' she said stiffly.
He left the doors open and she could hear him moving about, opening drawers and banging cupboards. Her face flooded with colour as she imagined him changing.
She walked over to the window. There was a heat haze in the distance and the rooftops of London looked like a shimmering dream. There was something unreal, too, about her being here, she thought, after all this time, and she felt panic rising in her throat. She had to get out before he came back. She turned to the door.
'Here we are.' Jake put down the tray with two steaming mugs on a low table. 'We'll both feel better after this.' He had changed into casual slacks with open-necked shirt, and Davina felt nervousness rising in her at his informal clothes.
He picked up one of the mugs and sank into the big leather armchair, totally relaxed. She took her own mug and sat down, gulping the hot sweet liquid.
'Are you happy?' he asked abruptly, still looking into his coffee.
'Er… yes, of course,' she said rather faintly.
'You don't look it,' he said harshly.
She wondered what he wanted of her. Why had he brought her up here? All she wanted was to get out of this flat so heavily loaded with memories
.
'Can we go now, Jake?' she asked, and got up, putting down her coffee.
'Davina!' He was up and beside her in two swift strides, his arms gripping her shoulders, as he turned her round to face him. She refused to look up and gazed as if hypnotised at his smooth, brown neck where the buttons of his shirt were undone. 'Look at me.' His voice was thick.
She shook her head mutely. 'I want to go now, Jake.'
Neither moved, but his hands tightened on her until the pain became intense and she flinched.
'Please let me go. You're hurting me,' she said quietly. He was breathing hard and she was suddenly afraid of him, frightened of his strength and his anger.
'Look at me, damn you!' He lifted her face with one hand under her chin, his fingers holding her throat, and she looked at him wide-eyed with fear, her eyes swimming with pain. His own were hard and silvery, and his body tense.
'Please, Jake, let me go,' she whispered, and closed her eyes to hide her tears from him.
'Do you know I could break your neck with one finger? Do you realise that? And do you know you're driving me to madness?'
He put his other hand to her hair, pulling her head back on her neck till she cried out loud with the pain, tears falling from below her lashes down her cheek on to his hand.
'Oh, God, tears! I might have known it.' He loosened his hold slightly and the pain eased, but she was still imprisoned against him, unable to move away.
'Jake?' she asked. 'I don't know what you want. If that makes you angry, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it.'
He sighed. 'All right. Sit down.' He released her suddenly and pushed her down on to the sofa, standing over her, a staring, unseeing blindness in his eyes as he looked down at her. After an endless moment, he moved away to the windows.
Wedding in the Family Page 15
