The Lost Ones

by Anita Frank

  I laughed and settled myself down opposite her, just as she was responding to a gentle tap on the door. A young maid sporting a mischievous twinkle in her eye and bearing a laden tray slipped into the room.

  ‘Thank you, Maisie, we’ll take it here.’

  The girl’s inquisitive gaze stole my way several times as she set the tea things out upon an occasional table beside Madeleine. She stood back as she finished and dropped a curtsy, before scooting from the room.

  ‘How many servants do you have?’ I asked.

  ‘Not many. It’s like at home, they’ve all left since the war. Hector has the butler in town with him, so there’s just Cook, Maisie and Mrs Henge here now.’ She handed me a cup of tea. ‘There’s Miss Scott as well, of course, but I can hardly call her a servant. Do you remember her? She came to the wedding. Lady Brightwell always refers to her as her “companion” now.’

  I did remember Miss Scott, a neat, birdlike woman, fine featured and rather jittery. Hector had introduced her as his nanny, and his affection for the old woman had been clear to see, as had her adoration of him. She had not been a conspicuous guest at the modest gathering, Lady Brightwell had very much played the dominant role, but she had struck me as kind and tolerant, characteristics which I suspected were essential for anyone fashioned as Lady Brightwell’s aide.

  ‘So how are you finding it here? It must be so different from London.’ I set my tea down on the hearth while I used the poker to stoke some life back into the dwindling fire. The sun that had lent a pleasant air to the day was receding as evening advanced, and a distinct chill bit into the room. Madeleine gazed off into the mid-distance, her brow creased. She rallied as I sat back in my seat.

  ‘Oh, you know …’ she said, but the insipid smile that flickered on her lips didn’t last long. She sipped her tea, I suspected, to cover a sudden pallor of unhappiness. I felt a twinge of disquiet. ‘I wish I were back in London. With Hector. Being here is so – it’s just not as I imagined.’

  ‘Oh, Madeleine. Well, I am here now, and I intend to stay for as long as you will let me.’ I was cheered to see her spirits restored by this promise. ‘How have you been, anyway?’

  ‘Well, the horrid morning sickness has passed,’ she said, an attractive glow finally brightening her cheeks. ‘I’ve been tired, but then I haven’t been sleeping well, I suppose.’ That nagging furrow reappeared between her brows, but she banished it with a shy smile. ‘I think I felt it move, you know, the other day. It was a funny squiggly feeling. Mother said it was a good sign.’

  ‘I should think it’s a wonderful sign!’

  ‘And how have you been, Stella?’

  She didn’t need to elaborate. We both knew she was prodding at the fresh scab on my tender wound, conscious that over-investigation would split the delicate surface and expose the vulnerable flesh beneath. I didn’t want to disappoint her as she looked for signs of healing.

  ‘Better. I cry a little less, I manage a little more.’ There was a sober pause. ‘I couldn’t have done without you, Madeleine. I do hope you will let me return the favour now.’

  Her eyes glistened. ‘Oh, darling, I will take your help now. I am so glad you have come.’

  Both of us laughed at our mawkish sentimentality. I poured some more tea and as we moved onto less emotive topics, our good humour was soon recovered.

  I was very keen to see more of my surroundings, but Madeleine seemed strangely averse to leading me on an exploration of the property. After much wheedling and cajoling, however, she finally acquiesced and agreed to give me a complete tour of what she referred to as ‘the dratted house’.

  As we moved from one excessive room to the next, I realised that her earlier summation had been most apt. It was impossible to deny Greyswick’s luxurious finish and yet it lacked a quality to its splendour found in more established houses like our own. The calculated effort put into its grandeur had reduced it to a caricature of the very thing it aspired to be. Many of the rooms now lay dormant, particularly those in the ‘new wing’ – a garishly gilded ballroom, the smoking room, the study – none of which had been utilised since Sir Arthur’s death – and a lady’s parlour, neglected by Lady Brightwell in favour of the morning room, which lay at the other end of the house.

  Once our tour of the ground floor had been completed, Madeleine led me upstairs. The bedrooms occupied by Lady Brightwell and Miss Scott were located in the new wing, whilst our rooms were to be found in the original part of the house. The upper corridor was only half-panelled, with claret-flocked wallpaper stretching up to the stuccoed ceiling, while a blood-red runner was centred over the treacle-coloured floorboards. Once again, the only natural light came from the arched window in the end wall, and it failed to pierce the blighted dimness of the landing.

  ‘Our rooms are here. I had Mrs Henge put you in the one next to mine,’ Madeleine announced. ‘I did so want you close by.’

  I expressed my pleasure at the arrangement and Madeleine was about to open the bedroom door when I stopped her, my curiosity having been aroused by the straight flight of stairs beside the arched window. As I carried on towards them, I saw they connected to a short galleried landing above.

  ‘What rooms are up there?’ I asked, turning back to her.

  Madeleine clutched the door handle.

  ‘Just disused rooms,’ she said at last. ‘I have no need to go up there.’ The words tripped over themselves in their haste to be out. She pushed open the door, entreating me to come. ‘It’s getting late, you should dress for dinner. The bell-pull is by the bed, you can ring for Annie. I hope you like the room – it has its own adjoining bathroom, you know. Do try to hurry, Stella – it’s best not to be late down.’

  I had to fish behind the swag of frilled curtain that hung from the canopy of my bed to find the bell cord. When Annie appeared a few minutes later I thought her rather subdued, but I dismissed her reserve as nerves.

  She remained silent as she helped me into my black evening dress. I hung my locket from the hinge of the dressing table’s triptych mirror for safe keeping while she fastened strings of pearls about my neck. I decided to make an effort and engage her in conversation. We were, after all, to be thrust into each other’s company and I wanted the situation to be as tolerable as possible.

  ‘Are you settling in all right?’ I winced as she grazed my scalp with one of the pearl-headed pins she was using to dress my hair. She made no apology and I couldn’t tell whether she was unaware of her carelessness or simply choosing ignore it. Her cool gaze met mine in the mirror as she finished and it crossed my mind that it might not have been carelessness at all. I pushed aside my misgivings and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She stepped back as I got to my feet. ‘All of this must seem rather daunting,’ I said.

  ‘Everyone is being very kind to me, miss.’

  ‘Good.’ I began to squeeze my fingers into a tight-fitting evening glove, smoothing the satin up the length of my arm. ‘Do lend a hand when you can. I don’t want our visit to be a burden on anyone.’

  ‘Yes, miss.’

  ‘Is your room comfortable? I presume you’re up in the attic? I hope it’s not too ghastly up there.’

  Annie hesitated for a minute, busying herself with hanging up my discarded day clothes for longer than I felt necessary.

  ‘It’s comfortable enough up there, miss.’

  There was something in her tone that piqued my curiosity and I was about to question her further when there was a knock on the door. Madeleine stuck her head around its edge.

  ‘Are you ready to face them?’

  I laughed, pulling my glove up the final inch so that it lay just below the crook of my elbow. ‘You make it sound like we’re going up against a hostile crowd!’

  ‘Yes, well … dinner here can sometimes feel like that – don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

  I found her lack of humour to be rather disconcerting.

  Chapter Seven

  Lady Brightwell and her companio
n, Miss Scott, were awaiting us in the drawing room, both sipping sherry from cut crystal glasses, as they warmed themselves by the roaring fire.

  ‘Visiting is so exhausting!’

  I was unsure whether Lady Brightwell’s exclamation as she rose to greet me was in reference to her busy day, a declaration of sympathy, or a complaint aimed at my very presence. I bent to kiss her creped cheek. She was small in stature, though she gained an extra inch or two from the artistic arrangement of her abundant grey hair, but what she lacked in height she more than made up for with her forceful persona. Large blue eyes ringed with gold inspected me thoroughly from under their broad arches as we exchanged the usual pleasantries, her thin lips barely breaking into a smile.

  It was left to her companion, Miss Scott, to make me feel welcome.

  ‘So nice to see you again, Miss Marcham!’ She was a few years older than her employer, finer-boned and far sprightlier. Her eyes glowed with kindness from behind her round, wire-framed glasses as she warmly clasped my hand. I found I breathed a little easier in her company.

  Mrs Henge’s appearance cast a dark shadow into the room, as she informed us that dinner was served. Lady Brightwell led us out into the draughty corridor to the dining room, leaning heavily on her silver-capped cane, a necessity since the stroke that had afflicted her twelve months previously.

  Our steps echoed off the wooden floorboards as we took our places at the enormous rosewood table. I thought we looked rather absurd, the four of us clustered at the one end while its gleaming top stretched into the distance. Every cough, chink of cutlery and ting of wineglass seemed to reverberate off the barrel ceiling above us, which was itself an extraordinary sight – a dazzling collection of hand-painted panels, all executed in the Italianate style and excessively trimmed with gilt. The room was lit by four huge chandeliers boasting tier upon tier of crystal drops the size of my fist, their brilliance rendering the flickering flames of the candelabras before us obsolete. Yet none of this opulence served to make the room more comfortable, and though the fire was lit, it was not enough to take the edge off the cold that had my skin stippling in protest.

  As Maisie placed soup bowls before us, Lady Brightwell launched into complaint after complaint about her day spent with friends, which had been soured by dull conversation, chipped china and over-cooked asparagus. I tried to offer sympathy where appropriate, but she would not permit any interruption, so in the end I kept quiet, relying on the contents of my wineglass to see me through the ordeal.

  There was a brief respite as the table was cleared, with Lady Brightwell making a few curt enquiries into my parents’ health and my own present occupation, the latter of which I deftly side-stepped. Unfortunately, the arrival of the main course brought to mind yet another unsatisfactory element of her day, and her disgruntled diatribe was reignited, quite spoiling my enjoyment of the sweet Dover sole and later the wonderful gateau the cook had prepared.

  There were several times during this extraordinary monologue of misery that I attempted to catch Madeleine’s eye, desperate to share with her the absurdity of it all, but she fixed her gaze firmly on the table. She appeared completely withdrawn as she played with the stem of her wineglass, from which she sipped sparingly.

  It was whilst Lady Brightwell was midway through a comprehensive character assassination of the ‘dear friend’ she had visited, that the heavy dining-room door suddenly slammed shut. The sound thundered through the air, surprising everyone. Madeleine jumped so violently she toppled her glass, spilling her wine over the table. She pushed her chair back, aghast, and I feared she was about to burst into tears.

  ‘Oh Madeleine! How careless of you,’ Lady Brightwell cried as I sprang to mop up the spillage with my napkin. Miss Scott got up to help me. She righted the glass and assured Madeleine no harm had resulted. I was shocked to see my sister visibly trembling as she stared at the closed door.

  ‘There really has been no damage done,’ I said, echoing Miss Scott’s reassurance. I spotted one of the curtains lift and immediately deduced the cause of the door’s sudden movement. ‘It was probably just a through draught.’ I excused myself from the table and pulled back the offending curtain, the rings raking sharply against the brass pole. ‘Yes, look! The window has been left open – no wonder it was so cold in here.’ The sash clattered against the frame as I pushed it down.

  Madeleine remained pale and shaken. Rather foolishly we leapt again as the door swung open, but it was only Maisie. Lady Brightwell was quick to reprimand her for not having closed the window. The young maid apologised as she gathered our dishes and meekly withdrew.

  I breathed a sigh of relief when our little party retired to the drawing room. Madeleine joined Lady Brightwell on the sofa by the now sedate fire while Miss Scott and I took two chairs a short distance away. It was not long before Lady Brightwell succumbed to the somniferous effects of the flickering flames as they comfortingly crackled around the pine logs. Madeleine opened her book, but I noticed she spent more time staring into space than losing herself within its pages.

  Miss Scott pulled out her knitting from the bamboo-handled bag resting alongside her seat. She smiled serenely at me as her dancing needles clicked a tattoo with practised dexterity.

  ‘Do I see a matinee coat?’ I asked.

  Her face lit up and she held the skilled weave of wool up for my perusal. ‘It is indeed.’

  ‘What a charming pattern.’ I glanced at Madeleine, now drowsily absorbed in the pages of her novel. ‘It’s an exciting prospect, isn’t it? A new life coming into the world.’

  The older woman looked wistful and sighed. ‘The most wonderful thing.’ The needles began to clack softly once again, but then came to a stop. She appeared to wrestle with some inner dilemma, but her mind was soon made up. ‘Miss Marcham, may I say how sorry I was to hear about your fiancé? Such a terrible loss for you. I know I only met him briefly at the wedding, but he struck me as being a most lovely young man.’

  Startled, I felt a lump block my throat. ‘He was.’

  ‘Had you known each other long?’

  ‘We met as children,’ I said, picturing the solemn little boy who had gifted me a jam jar of water boatmen one summer. ‘We shared a godmother,’ I explained. ‘She would take us out on theatre trips and to tea at The Ritz.’ I thought back to a Christmas party where a bout of tonsillitis prevented me from partaking in the festivities, and how an eleven-year-old Gerald had sat at my bedside, entertaining me with card games, insistent he would rather spend time with me than join in with the fun downstairs. In time, I came to learn such loyalty was as characteristic of the man as it had been of the boy. ‘We lost touch, for a while – his family moved abroad – but our godmother brought us together again some years later. She always thought we were meant to be.’

  ‘You certainly looked very happy together.’

  I nodded to dispel unwelcome tears. ‘Well, at least Hector is safe,’ I said, keen to change the subject.

  ‘Thank God, yes!’ She regarded me intently as she rested her knitting on her lap. ‘A most fortunate posting!’ With the quick movements of a sparrow, she tilted her head towards her sleeping employer, before tilting it again to check Madeleine was not eavesdropping. She lowered her voice, drawing me into her confidence. ‘I have to admit I did stress to Lady Brightwell that if she could bring any pressure to bear to find him something safe, then she should.’ She released her knitting needles and laid her dry hand on mine. ‘Oh, I know some people would say it was wrong to do so – to use one’s connections in such a way. Lady Brightwell struggled with the idea for some time, but I told her firmly, she would never forgive herself if something happened and she had not done everything in her power to protect him.’

  She appealed for my understanding, if not my sympathy – perhaps even my approval. I itched to withdraw my hand – there was something sullying about this confession, and I wanted no part of it. After an awkward pause she leant back in her chair and resumed her knitting before contin
uing.

  ‘Lady Brightwell saw sense in the end of course and was able to make some suitably discreet arrangements. I’m not even sure Hector is aware, but I for one sleep easier knowing he has been kept from that dreadful slaughter over there. Such a waste of young lives!’ She remembered herself and quickly added: ‘As you, more than anyone, must know.’

  I looked across to the dancing flames. I was right – Hector’s family had indeed intervened to keep him from harm’s way. Gerald’s family could perhaps have done something similar, but they had not. I took little comfort from the knowledge that Gerald would never have accepted anything but a frontline command. I wondered how Hector would react if he knew the truth.

  Madeleine’s head nodded tellingly. Closing her book, she covered a yawn.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, keeping her voice low so as not to disturb her mother-in-law. ‘I am falling asleep! I think I’ll retire.’

  But as she rose, Lady Brightwell awoke with a start. She straightened in her chair.

  ‘Where are you going?’ she demanded, her voice thick with sleep.

  ‘I’m sorry, Lady Brightwell, I’m very tired. I should quite like to go to bed.’

  ‘We usually retire together. Oh well, I suppose in your condition you need your rest. Off you go then.’ She waved dismissively, blue veins bulging down the back of her hand. Madeleine stopped as she reached my chair.

  ‘Will you come up with me?’ It struck me as more of a plea than a question, so whilst I did not feel particularly ready to turn in, I got to my feet and bade my companions goodnight.

  Madeleine left the drawing-room door ajar, permitting a splinter of light to penetrate the dark corridor. She slipped her arm through mine, gripping onto me as we made our way towards the hall. I had expected the electric bulbs to be ablaze, but instead only a little moonlight alleviated the darkness. Madeleine informed me that Lady Brightwell insisted they exercise economy during these tumultuous war years. Whilst I applauded her patriotic sense of duty, I felt unnerved by the shifting shadows that cloaked the vast house.