He felt awkward saying the words with Julia. In the past, he’d talked about sex quite conversantly with numerous women. In his past liaisons, such negotiations had been commonplace.
Julia coloured at his frankness. Then she surprised him, putting her hand over his where it rested in his lap. ‘You have done me an enormous service by bringing me here. Without knowing me, you have offered yourself as my protector. It never crossed my mind that you were a man to provide those services and expect an exchange of favours.’
‘Perhaps it should have,’ Paine said wryly. ‘You know what I am, how I live. I’m a dark rake. I sleep with hundreds of women and play in the underworld. I am thoroughly debauched by the ton’s standard.’
Julia gave a soft laugh. ‘So they all say. I am hard pressed to believe it. They don’t understand you.’ She looked down at her lap, biting her lip in contemplation. ‘Paine, I owe you an apology. I came to you for sordid reasons, but even so, you’ve treated me with far more respect than what I reserved for you. I looked at you through society’s eyes and I misjudged you.’
‘And now, Julia? What do you see?’ He was heady with desire, swamped by it, in fact. He exhaled heavily, fighting her effect on him. She had no idea how much he wanted to wrap his body around her.
She reached up to stroke his cheek. ‘I see a good man who hides his true self from others.’
There it was.
Was it possible that in one sentence, she’d seen what everyone had missed? Julia made him think the impossible—that he could be saved, drawn back from the abyss, that perhaps he could offer her more than he thought.
He wrapped a strand of her heavy hair around a finger. ‘Why do you think that is?’ he mused.
Julia shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I am sure this good man has his reasons.’
‘No, that’s not what I meant,’ Paine whispered. ‘Why is it that you see a good man when everyone else sees a rake?’
Julia tilted her head and gave him a contemplative smile. ‘I’m not the only one who sees it. Your family sees it, too.’ She tugged at him. ‘Now, make love to me because you want to. No more talk of agreements, Paine.’
Chapter Thirteen
Peyton was waiting for them, for him, when they got back. Paine hid a smile. Peyton wasn’t overtly waiting for them in the foyer, that wasn’t his style. But he’d been on the lookout for them. The sudden hustle of servants upon their return indicated as much. Paine would have bet good money he’d barely turned into the stable yard before news of his return reached Peyton in the study.
The door to the study was open. It would be difficult to get by there without being seen. This was, of course, what Peyton had planned. Paine turned to Julia in the wide main hall and nodded towards Peyton’s open door. ‘I need to see my brother. Will you excuse me?’ There were many things he and Peyton had to talk about. He wasn’t ready to have Julia hear the family laundry aired and he wasn’t sure how diplomatic Peyton would be about it. But he was ready to face it, armed with Julia’s confidence and a new sense of hope.
Paine saw Julia up the stairs and then strode towards the office, prepared to reconcile with Peyton for the first time in twelve years.
Peyton looked up from the papers on his desk at the sound of footsteps. ‘Paine, you’re back. Did you have a good time?’ he asked as if he hadn’t known they’d arrived twenty minutes before.
‘Yes. Julia is upstairs, resting. I thought we could talk. There are things that should be said,’ Paine said, taking charge of the conversation.
Peyton nodded. ‘Would you like a drink?’ He motioned to the polished cabinet that displayed a series of cut-crystal decanters.
‘No, thank you,’ Paine declined, taking a chair across from the expansive desk, marvelling at Peyton’s nervousness—Peyton, who had always been decisive and in control.
‘You’ve changed so much, Paine. I can hardly take it in when I look at you,’ Peyton began. ‘You’re a man now. It’s hard to countenance that my baby brother is two and thirty.’ He shook his head. ‘I still think of you as much younger. But you’re a man full grown…’
He foundered there and Paine knew Peyton was thinking of the long years in exile when there’d been no letters from India assuring him of his brother’s safety and well-being; of the long months Paine had been home in London, but sent no word.
They stared at each other, lost in awkward silence. Paine shook his head and shrugged. ‘I should have written, but I didn’t know how. I’d been so foolish, so stupid. I didn’t know even where to start. I was a complete disgrace.’ Or even if his brother would want to hear anything. Peyton had been so angry, Paine was sure his older brother would be glad to simply have him out of the way, no longer a blight on the family name.
‘My sentiments, exactly, only about me. I have regretted my behaviour, my choices, every day since you left. I was so stupid, so foolish, a complete disgrace.’ Peyton used Paine’s words and gave a sad smile, one that showed the deep brackets at the corners of his mouth. For the first time, Paine was struck by the amount of time that had passed and how close he’d come when they’d been attacked on the road to not having this moment with his brother at all. Perhaps he was still foolish.
‘I want to hear what you’ve been doing, how you’ve spent your years,’ Peyton said.
‘I’m sure you can guess most of it,’ Paine said, reluctant to roll out his accomplishments like a litany and even more reluctant to share his sins. The East was a different world, half a globe away. He wasn’t sure Peyton would understand what it meant to move in that world.
‘Please tell me,’ Peyton asked softly. ‘Ridiculous pride has kept us from communicating too long.’
It was all he needed to let the stories come. Once he started talking, Paine was surprised how easily the telling came. The wanderings into strange countries when he had no sense of direction, setting up the shipping business when he found he needed a purpose, selling the shipping firm when he’d made his fortune and decided it was time to come home. There were other stories, too, that tumbled out. Stories of the people he’d met, the cultures and lifestyles he had encountered, the beliefs that had challenged him in his own thinking. Long shadows were falling outside on the lawn when he finished.
Peyton looked impressed. ‘It seems you’ve come full circle then, Paine. Home again with a fortune at your disposal and years of hard-won wisdom. What are your plans now?’
‘I own a gambling hell, which I am sure Aunt Lily told you.’ He saw Peyton trying not to wince at the mention. He moved on. ‘I recently bought a house in Brook Street that I want to turn into a hotel.’ Paine held Peyton’s gaze. ‘There are things to do, however. Oswalt is still a menace. That comes first. Then we’ll see.’
Peyton raised his dark brows and steepled his hands. ‘And Julia Prentiss? How does she fit into all this? Is she a pawn or something more?’
Paine heard the challenge in his brother’s voice and he clenched his jaw to hold back his rising temper. Peyton was trying to see him as a new man. But he couldn’t expect Peyton to change over night. To him, he would probably always remain the little brother in some capacity. ‘She came to me, if that’s what you’re asking. I didn’t go looking for a chance to get at Oswalt.’
‘But you certainly didn’t turn her away once you heard she was connected to Oswalt.’ Peyton’s challenge was no longer veiled.
‘How could I? I of all people know what Oswalt is capable of. I could not turn my back on her, especially when I have the means to stop him.’
‘Do you? Have the means to stop him? You thought you could handle him the last time, too. You were lucky you weren’t killed.’ In his temper, Peyton had risen behind the desk to his full height.
‘I’m not a naïve stripling about town these days,’ Paine warned, gaining his feet to match his brother. ‘I know how to handle men of his ilk.’
‘No. You have come here for my help. If you want it, you’ll let me handle everything,’ Peyton insisted, eyes flaring o
ver being gainsaid.
‘I didn’t come home to let others fight my battles,’ Paine growled in a near shout.
‘For once, can’t you do what you’re told?’ Peyton barely refrained from yelling.
‘Why? I won’t hide behind you or anyone else.’
‘Because I can’t stand to lose you again. Because I need to make it up to you.’ The admission tumbled out of its own accord, bringing the brothers’ argument to a halt. The tension dissipated.
‘I should never have let you go the first time,’ Peyton said quietly, years of remorse clear in his eyes. ‘I thought taking on Oswalt would teach you sense. I never dreamed it would lead to a duel, that it would come to a head over a woman. But you and your misplaced chivalry wouldn’t hear otherwise. By the time I realised what was really happening, it was too late to protect you. It won’t happen again. I didn’t mean to fight with you, Paine. I only meant to say I was sorry.’
Paine sank into his chair, trying to absorb it all. ‘All these years, I thought you were ashamed of me. I couldn’t face you afterwards, knowing that I’d disappointed you.’ All this time, he’d not once thought that Peyton had anything to apologise for.
Peyton shook his head. ‘I won’t fail you again, Paine. This time, we face Oswalt together. Tell me what you have planned.’
And just like that, he was absolved.
Paine was at peace and he savoured it, even though he knew it couldn’t last long. He let himself bask in the knowledge of his brother’s love and Julia’s honest affection. It would only be a matter of days before the fruits of his hastily dashed notes in London would arrive at Dursley Park.
Within a week, Flaherty’s news would catch up with him, giving him insight into why Oswalt was after Julia’s uncle and what the bastard planned next. Mail would also arrive regarding the business loans he’d proposed to influential members of the ton. Soon, the plan would be in motion. They would return to London and the issue with Oswalt could be resolved, leaving Julia free of the man’s shadow.
Free to do what? He hadn’t been able to adequately answer his brother’s questions regarding Julia. In terms of his feelings for Julia, he feared he’d picked the very worst time to fall in love. But what else could it be when the thought of her being free to pursue another caused his stomach to churn?
Paine’s short idyll lasted approximately a week and a day; the end heralded by a note from Flaherty that arrived neatly tucked inside a trunk full of Julia’s clothes from Madame Broussard. Julia discovered the letter while shaking out the last of the gowns from their meticulous tissue wrappings. It fluttered to the floor, the plain brown-paper envelope a stark contrast in a room filled with a riot of flounces and lace.
Julia bent and scooped up the envelope, concluding immediately that the note was not an additional note from Madame Broussard, whose correspondence had been on top of the tissue wrappings and strongly scented with lilacs. She turned the envelope over, noting the masculine scrawl.
She doubted the letter was for her. First, this letter had been secreted in the trunk in such a way that implied the writer was worried about discovery. Second, the letter was clearly not for her. No one would know where to send a letter for her. No one knew she was with Paine Ramsden, and certainly no one knew she’d visited Madame Broussard’s. No one would know she was expecting an order of clothes.
Only Paine knew. Julia smiled to herself over Paine’s consideration for her. In the rush of their departure from London, he’d thought of everything, dashing off that note to the dressmaker so that Julia would have her gowns, at least enough of them. The rest—her evening gowns and fancier town dresses—would be waiting upon her return.
She didn’t have to be a mind-reader to deduce that the note she held probably had something to do with when that return would occur. That return worried her immensely. Going back to London would force her to deal decisively with Oswalt as well as bring her association with Paine to a head. Once her situation with Oswalt was resolved, she reasoned that her situation with Paine would be dissolved as well.
More than that, her future, whatever it would be, would begin when they returned to London. There was her family to consider in all this. What were they thinking right now? Did they miss her? Worry for her? Understand why she had taken such drastic action? Would they receive her when she returned and give her a chance to explain? She’d known when she embarked on this mad scheme that after she was ruined, she might very well be turned out of the family. She’d known it was a very real risk she was running. Still, she wanted a chance to explain.
Who knew one simple envelope could cause such turmoil?
Julia made a face at the envelope. There was nothing for it. She had to go and find Paine.
She found him in what had become his customary place—sitting at the long table that dominated the length of the book-lined library. She could easily understand the appeal of the room. The far end was graced with floor-to-ceiling windows that provided both the ability to flood the room with light and the ability to soothe an agitated guest with a view of elegant expanse of verdant grass.
Paine was dressed casually in a lawn shirt and paisley waistcoat, a simple cravat tied at his neck. The ledgers in front of him held all his attention as he tallied columns and wrote sums. Peyton was with him, sprawled on a leather couch near the windows, immersed in a book.
A peaceful scene. Julia hated to interrupt it. She’d much rather stay buried in the country with Paine at her side. However hard it had been for Paine to come home, the choice had served him well. She still didn’t understand all the dynamics behind his separation from his brothers, but it was easy to see he was loved here and forgiven.
She bit her lip and felt her cheeks heat at the thought. Since the picnic, they’d been together every night. Peyton had given them separate rooms, but that hadn’t stopped Paine from visiting after the house quietened. She looked forwards to those hours spent in the dark, when Paine was by turn both lover and teacher. Even now in the bright light of the afternoon, she was nearly giddy with anticipation of the evening ahead at the very sight of him.
Julia pushed the door fully open and stepped into the room.
‘Hello, Julia.’ Paine looked up from his ledger before she’d had time to speak. Was he that aware of her presence that he could sense when she was in the room? It was a novel fantasy. ‘How are your dresses? Don’t tell me you’re done trying them on already?’
‘They’re lovely. But, no, I haven’t tried any of them on yet.’ Julia approached the table, aware that Peyton surreptitiously watched them from the couch. ‘This came for you. It was tucked inside the trunk.’
Paine took the envelope and studied it. ‘Thank you. It’s from Flaherty, one of my investigators. I’ve been hoping to hear from him.’
‘Is it about the club?’ She asked as he scanned the note.
‘No,’ Paine said without looking up.
Julia waited, hoping to hear more and feeling left out when nothing more was forthcoming. ‘Is it about my uncle?’ she pressed. Paine had mentioned such an inquiry before.
Paine looked up from his perusal of the letter. ‘No, not directly anyway.’ He smiled, but Julia was not fooled.
‘I will not be treated like a child, Paine. If that note concerns me, I want to know what’s in it.’ Julia could feel her temper rising. The blackguard was trying to dismiss her.
‘Julia, there is no need for you to worry,’ Paine said pointedly, looking up from the document in irritation. ‘Everything will be taken care of.’
Peyton rose from his couch and came to stand behind Paine, reading the letter over his brother’s shoulder. Paine made no attempt to shield the letter from his brother’s perusal. That was the final spark that ignited her temper.
‘I see. Only men are allowed to worry.’ She placed her hands squarely on the table and leaned across it. ‘Well, that’s not good enough, Paine. There is every need for me to worry. A coachman is dead and my uncle faces financial ruin, all because of m
e. You cannot fob me off with a smile and false assurances. I am in this up to my neck.’
Peyton eyed her speculatively, seeming to weigh the situation. ‘I suspect your uncle faces more than financial ruin, Miss Prentiss.’ He nodded towards the note. ‘Let her read it, Paine. It’s best she knows the worst straight away. Sugar coating never makes things better in the long term. I’ll ring for tea and have a footman search out Crispin.’
Paine gave a tight laugh. ‘Tea and Crispin? Speaking of “sugar-coating”, dear brother, is that your way of calling for a family meeting?’
‘Why, yes, it is.’ Peyton said without prevarication.
‘I don’t really understand any of this,’ Julia said, waving the now well-worn and-read note in her hand. Tea and Crispin had arrived and the letter had been passed about. It was thankfully short, but informative. ‘I’m not sure what marriage to me has to do with the cargo on Cousin Gray’s ship.’
Paine spread his hands on his thighs and drew a deep breath. ‘Those two occurrences are not linked to each other, but they are both linked to a larger plot.’
‘Which is?’
‘That’s the part that is still unclear.’ Paine looked at her with his sharp eyes. ‘What is clear though, Julia, is that you’re in danger and your family is in danger when it comes to Oswalt. He’s convinced your uncle that they’re on the same side, that you’re the enemy. In reality, your aunt and uncle are in as much danger as you are, although it’s a danger of a different sort.’
‘Oswalt can’t marry them.’ There was a touch of acid to her tone. Paine had let her read the letter from Flaherty, but he was still trying to protect her by speaking in vagaries. He knew more of the puzzle than he let on.
Paine stood up and began pacing, making his familiar gesture of riffling through his hair as he spoke his thoughts out loud. She would have found it endearing if she hadn’t been so annoyed with him. This was her plan, her choices. How dare he exclude her?
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