A Lesson on Love

by Sharon C. Cooper

  “I know. She feels the same about you.”

  Rayne smiled, and an unfamiliar feeling stabbed Jerry in the chest. Knowing Rayne trusted his judgment when it came to Stormy meant everything. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her daughter. Hell, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for either of them. And it didn’t matter how long it took, he would prove to her the type of man he really was.

  He steered his vehicle in the direction of downtown. Except for Jamison Ross’s Call Me playing through the speakers, they rode the first ten minutes of their trip in silence. Jerry had planned a nice evening for them, starting with dinner at a seafood and steakhouse.

  “Your parents are wonderful. And just the little bit of time that I’ve spent with your mother, I can already tell she has a beautiful spirit.”

  “Yeah, she’s pretty cool. Although, I didn’t always think so. As a kid, she used to embarrass the heck out of me without really trying. I’m sure you’ve noticed her unique style of dress.”

  Rayne grinned. “Uh, yeah. I noticed.”

  “She has always marched to her own beat. My friends used to always talk about how pretty she was, that she could be a model. But they’d also burst out laughing whenever they saw her in one of her outfits. Needless to say, I had my share of fights. It was okay if I had issues with her clothes, but no one else could talk about my mom.”

  “I assume CJ takes after her,” Rayne said. “She has a similar style and a real chill vibe.”

  Jerry nodded, thinking about his youngest sister. “Yup, it was the same situation with her. Except my friends wanted to date her, but complained her clothes were too funny. And you’re right about her personality. It usually takes a lot to get her riled.”

  “Does she work at Jenkins & Sons, too?”

  “Yeah, she’s a painter by trade and also an artist, often getting commissioned by some big-time people to do paintings for them.” He didn’t bother telling her that some of those paintings were super risqué.

  “What about your other sister?”

  “Peyton is more like my dad. She’s conservative, straight-laced, and usually pretty serious. She’s the most dependable and stable person you’ll ever meet. She also used to drive me crazy when she ran J & S. I can’t tell you how many write-ups I got from her or how many times she threatened to fire me.”

  Rayne laughed. “You were that bad, huh?”

  “I hate to admit it, but I deserved most of those reprimands. I was young, dumb, and all about having a good time, not taking much serious, especially work.”

  “When you were young? You’re still young,” Rayne said. “Are you still cutting up at work?”

  Jerry shook his head, not bothering to address the still young comment. “Nah, I finally got myself together, and stopped doing stupid stuff.”

  “Because you want the promotion?”

  “That’s partly it, but like most people, you eventually grow up and become more responsible. I know I’ve changed, but I’m still trying to prove myself to my cousins. A couple of them run the business, and still only see me as the punk kid who use to follow them around and cause trouble. In time they’ll see the changes.” And so would she, but he kept that thought to himself.

  “Tell me about your family. I know you moved here from San Antonio, but you haven’t said much more than that. Do you have any siblings?”

  And just like that, tension radiated off of her like steam from a whistling tea kettle. What the heck happened to her that she would tense at just the mention of her family?

  Jerry divided his attention between her and the road. She stared straight ahead, but then glanced down at her hands, folded in her lap.

  “I have a sister,” she finally said, barely above a whisper. “She’s two years older, but we’re not close. I haven’t seen or talked to her in years.”

  Jerry had so many questions, he didn’t know which one to ask first. What he didn’t want to do was ask her anything that would have her shutting down completely. But if he didn’t ask, it wasn’t like she would volunteer any information.

  “Do you think you’ll ever get married again?” That wasn’t the question he had initially intended on asking, but it seemed like a good one to lead with.

  “No,” she said without hesitation.

  “Why not?”

  “I can’t go through that again.”

  “Go through what?”

  “The lies. The cheating. The betrayal. The blatant disrespect.”

  With her breakdown in the kitchen earlier, he had assumed that things hadn’t been good in her marriage. Now it seemed that they were worse than he initially thought.

  “How did your husband die?”

  Rayne blew out a long, noisy breath, then propped her elbow on the door and rubbed her forehead. “God, Jerry. Way to go straight to tough questions.”

  “You know what? Forget I ask. When you’re ready to talk about—”

  “His lover’s husband killed him.”

  Lover’s…husband?

  The words jockeyed around in his mind while he processed what she was saying.

  “Well…damn, Rayne. I—I, I don’t know what to say.”

  Her humorless laugh drowned out the music floating through the speakers. “Yeah, isn’t that some mess? My husband, the man who vowed to love me above all else was screwing around on me. Imagine my surprise when I found out that it was with more than one woman. He ended up hooking up with the wrong woman though.”

  The more she revealed, the less he knew what to say. He’d been with his share of women, but what he never did were married women. Ever.

  “I don’t know if he knew the woman was married, but that night he found out the hard way. Her husband walked in on them. He ended up beating Kirk to death with a baseball bat, and seriously injuring his wife…right there in their bed.”

  “Man, Rayne. I am so sorry.”

  Jerry exited the highway, and traveled through the streets of downtown, having second thoughts about dinner. Their conversation wasn’t the best lead in to a nice, romantic evening. But at least now he had a better understanding about why she was so adamant about not dating him.

  “I hate that you went through that.”

  “Yeah, me too. If only I had known sooner what type of scum I had married. The cheating was bad enough, but I’ll never forgive Kirk for the mess he got me into.”

  Alarm pulsed through Jerry’s body. “What type of mess?”

  When Rayne didn’t respond, Jerry glanced at her. She gnawed on her lower lip then stared out the passenger window. He had a bad feeling this conversation was going to get worse before it got better.

  So much for a nice, fun evening.

  Chapter Eleven

  Rayne wrung her hands, unable to stop fidgeting in her seat. She thought about Kirk often but rarely discussed him and for good reason. Not only would talking about her late husband reveal the type of selfish man she had married, but it would also shine a spotlight on her ignorance at the time.

  She sat up straighter when Jerry guided his huge truck into a parking lot of a strip mall.

  “Why are we stopping?” she asked when he pulled into a parking spot on the edge of the lot, far from the stores.

  He turned off the truck and unsnapped his seatbelt. “Because I want you to talk to me. Tell me what happened.”

  Rayne blew out a nervous breath. Her friendship with Jerry had been a godsend, but was she ready to open herself up to him? Would he look at her differently? Would he think less of her?

  Rayne jumped when Jerry covered her hand with his and brought the back of her fingers to his lips before kissing them. “Just tell me what you want me to know.”

  “Honestly…I don’t know if I want you to know anything about my past. There are some parts I’m not proud of.”

  “Trust me. We all have things in our pasts that we aren’t proud of, but that’s the beauty of the past. It’s in the past.” He squeezed her hand. “You’re here now, building a new life for you and Lady
bug. This guy and whatever he did, he can’t hurt you anymore.”

  Thank, God. Rayne had endured about as much as she could handle of Kirk and the mess he left behind.

  “I didn’t really know my husband.” The words spilled out of her mouth in a whoosh, and a quiver of discomfort settled in her gut. Leaving the past in the past wasn’t easy when the memories came back in a rush. “I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. Besides the cheating, Kirk had gotten into serious debt. Debt I knew nothing about, but I ended up being responsible for.”

  “Did he have a gambling problem? Drugs?”

  Rayne shook her head. “No. Most of his issues were centered around women, but I didn’t find out about his betrayal until after he was dead. The day I had to identify his body, was the day my life started unraveling.”

  Rayne stared down at her and Jerry’s joined hands, willing herself not to break down. She had once read that talking about problems or situations out loud gave them less control over your life. Rayne didn’t know if that was true. The mental and emotional wounds hadn’t healed enough back then, but she was in a different place now. Maybe talking to Jerry would help erase some of the bitterness she’d been carrying for Kirk. Maybe.

  “The first two years of our marriage were good, but that last year, year and a half, our relationship slowly deteriorated. No matter how hard I tried to keep our marriage together, nothing helped. And towards the end, I barely saw Kirk. He was either working late or traveling for work, at least that’s what he told me.”

  “How long were you married?”

  “A little over three years.”

  “How did you guys meet?”

  Rayne’s nerves tensed and she tried drawing strength from Jerry’s closeness as her heart rate inched higher. “Foster care.”

  “So…you grew up in foster care?”

  Rayne finally glanced at him. The parking lot lights created shadows across his face, but she didn’t miss the concern in his eyes.

  “Yes. My mother battled with alcoholism, and my sister and I ended up in the system when I was around six. Mom never got herself together, and neither of us knew our fathers.”

  Rayne didn’t bother telling him that she and her sister had been separated, and hadn’t reconnected until they were adults. By then they were strangers. Their sisterly bond hadn’t been strong enough to build a relationship.

  No. She’d save that conversation for another day.

  Rayne hated seeing pity in Jerry’s eyes. That was one of many reasons why she rarely shared her past with others. It was difficult to mentally relive those days, as much as it was uncomfortable for people to hear about her beginnings. Her life had been one challenge after another for as long as Rayne could remember, but she survived. She would keep on surviving.

  She and Jerry sat in silence until he spoke. “I don’t know what to say.” Releasing her hand, he cupped her cheek. “I knew early on that you were a tough woman, a survivor of sorts, but I had no idea that…” His words trailed off, and he lowered his hand.

  Even if people didn’t experience the foster care system first hand, they either knew someone who had, or could imagine what life was like.

  “I’m not going to lie, Jerry. It hasn’t been easy. Some years have been pure hell, but when I aged out of foster care, I was determined to build a solid life for myself. There were times when I worked two and three jobs, trying to save as much money as I could toward school.” There had been programs available to help pay for some of her college expense, but not all of it.

  Rayne had vowed to make something of herself and not end up like her mother, who could never get her life together. Graduating from college and landing a good job was supposed to be Rayne’s way out of poverty. This conversation was reminding her of the promise that she made to herself back then, and it didn’t matter how long it took, she was going back to school one day.

  “At what point did you and Kirk get together?”

  “A few years after I graduated from high school. During my teens, I lived in a group home that wasn’t too far from the foster home he lived in. After aging out, I didn’t see him around but ran into him about six years ago and we started hanging out.”

  Rayne stared out the windshield as a steady flow of cars pulled into the lot. Most parked close to the stores, leaving them alone on the edge of the parking lot.

  “After suffering from abandonment issues and never really allowing anyone to get too close, dating Kirk had been a big step for me. With keeping people at a distance, no one could hurt or leave me again.

  “But Kirk…he was everything I wasn’t. Fun, charming and with our similar backgrounds, he understood my fears and trust issues. I slowly let my guard down. I let him into my solitary world. We dated a while and eventually got married. At first, things between us were good.”

  Rayne glanced at Jerry as sadness descended on her.

  “He became my everything. It was me and him against the world.” Rayne laid her head against the headrest, trying not to let the melancholy consume her. “He was very supportive. I was even able to decrease my work hours to part-time and attend college full time. Then I got pregnant with Stormy, and…everything as I knew it started to change.”

  “Why? Was he unhappy about the pregnancy?”

  “At first he seemed excited. We both were. Considering how we grew up, we had planned to give our child everything we didn’t have, and we were going to be present in our baby’s life. But months into my pregnancy, Kirk became distant. And after Stormy was born, I saw him even less. But crazy me thought he was just working longer hours to better prepare for our future.”

  “Did you ever question him about his behavior?”

  “I did. Kirk’s responses were always the same. He was trying to keep money coming in, especially since he encouraged me to focus on finishing that semester of school and staying healthy for our baby.”

  When she thought back on those latter days, Rayne still couldn’t believe how naive she’d been. Thinking back, there had been signs.

  “I should’ve known he was cheating, but I didn’t. Or maybe I just didn’t want to believe that he would step out on me. It wasn’t until after his death that I understood what had been going on.”

  “Another woman,” Jerry said bitterly.

  “Women. He was financially supporting several women. And worse than that, Kirk and one of his tramps took out loans in my name.”

  Jerry reared back. “What?”

  Rayne nodded. “There was a car purchased in my name, as well as a couple of credit cards.”

  “They stole your identity?” Shock dripped from his words.

  “Yes. I didn’t have any credit cards and had paid cash for what little I owned, including my car. I never had a reason to check my credit record, which turned out to be a mistake. Let me tell you. Identity theft is no joke. After Kirk died, I was on my own, trying to raise Stormy and keep a roof over our head. I couldn’t afford an attorney at the time. It took me years to clear up that mess.” Hell, she was still trying to get on solid ground financially.

  “Damn, this guy sounds like a real piece of work. Did his life insurance help at all?”

  Rayne’s pulse pounded in her ears, and the anger that she felt after Kirk’s death was back with a vengeance. “Kirk had changed his insurance policy, making another woman the beneficiary.”

  Jerry’s mouth dropped open. “You gotta be fuc…” He shook his head and dropped back against his seat. “If this guy wasn’t already dead, I would find him and beat his ass. Who does that kind of shit?”

  A humorless laugh burst free from Rayne. “I have asked myself that question a thousand times. I never saw that type of betrayal coming. While we were married, I did everything I could to be a good wife. I never disrespected him, always had dinner on the table when he got home from work, and I always made sure I looked good for him. I don’t know what I did to make him deceive me like that.”

  Jerry leaned forward and reached behind her, cuppin
g the back of her neck. “Baby, I hope you didn’t blame yourself for the way he treated you. There was probably nothing you did wrong. Some people are just assholes.”

  Rayne knew he was right, but that hadn’t stopped her from believing that she had done something to deserve that treatment. For years she struggled to forgive herself. Because of her naiveté, Rayne had put her and Stormy in danger by barely being able to provide for them financially. She wanted so bad to give her daughter the life she had dreamed for them.

  “There’s something I don’t understand.” Jerry cut into Rayne’s thoughts, and she turned to him. “You said that Kirk named someone else as the beneficiary on the life insurance policy. I thought the spouse is automatically the beneficiary.”

  “In some cases.” Rayne swallowed and swiped at a rogue tear that slipped through. “Since Texas is a community property state, I thought the same thing. We both took out policies after we married and by paying the premiums out of our joint account, the policy should’ve been considered community property. I should’ve been entitled to at least half of the payout even if I wasn’t listed as the beneficiary. But…”

  Jerry continued rubbing the back of her neck. “But what?”

  “But there was a document on file—a property status document with my signature. It stated that the insurance policy didn’t fall under community property and that I waived my rights to any insurance money.”

  Jerry’s brows dipped into a frown. “What made you sign something like that?”

  Rayne shook her head, biting down on her bottom lip to keep her emotions in check. “Jerry, I didn’t sign that form. Somebody forged my signature. I just couldn’t prove it. Even to me, the signature looked identical to mine.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and she turned, batting them away. She had shed enough tears back then to last a lifetime. No way was she going to cry now.

  Without a word, Jerry climbed out of the truck and Rayne watched as he walked around the front of the vehicle. He opened her door and extended his hand.