by Blue Saffire
“Then, maybe we should go inside. This is going to take a while and I know I’m going to fall apart,” I utter.
Before my words are out of my mouth, Brax has me lifted in his arms, heading for the house. My heart races as I remember doing this before. We’ve been here, done this.
We’ve been through so much. I used to see Brax as a baby, one of the little kids. In this moment, I feel like a baby, safe and secure in his arms.
Surprisingly, it’s the one place that I’ve always felt that way. Safe. I’ve never questioned that fact. It’s always been second nature for me. I think I’ve always questioned why, or how, but then, I always remember the beginning.
Chapter 1
Neglected
Heather
Twenty-one years ago…
I watch as the men move about the living room, placing plastic all over the place. I don’t know what’s going on, but it doesn’t feel right. I rock from side to side on my knees, trying to contain my nerves. I’m so scared.
“You sure you want the kid here,” the tall guy with the crooked nose says to my mother’s boyfriend, Ernest.
Mom has been dating Ernest for about a year now. Ernest has always been a little creepy to me. I don’t know. You know how some adults are just too nice. That would be Ernest.
He’s always too nice, at least he is when he wants to be. I won’t say that I’ve ever trusted him. Although, there was once a time when I thought he was okay. Now, not so much.
I once watched a movie with Wyatt, Noah, and John. It was called Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. That movie reminds me a lot of Ernest.
Like now, Mr. Hyde stands before me with his friends. I guess that’s what you can call them. I don’t know any of these men. I’ve seen them here in Ernest’s home, since mom and I moved in.
I get the feeling that none of them are nice people. Not like my dad. My dad is a hero. He helps people. Mom brags about Ernest being so great. She talks about how he’s a lawyer or something and he makes a lot of money. I get the feeling that maybe Ernest isn’t so great at all, not like my dad.
“She stay’s. I need her to learn a little lesson,” Ernest says, turning his black eyes on me.
I start to fidget with the hem of my dress and sweat beads on my upper lip. I move to sit on my butt, my knees are numb and my hands are shaking with the fear that’s gripping me. I know something bad is about to happen. Nothing good has happened, since we moved in with Ernest.
Mom promised this was going to be great for us. Ernest had been asking her to move in with him for months. Mom had said, no, at first. Then Dad went away on a mission and Ernest proposed, bought mom a car, and promised she could stop working.
Only, since we’ve been here, every time Mom mentions a wedding or leaving her job, Ernest totally loses it. Mom totally freaks, when he threatens to call the whole thing off, calling her ungrateful. After all, he’s taking care of us, letting us live in his home. Mom gives in every time.
I’m ten and even I know something is fishy about all of this. Dad says you have to pay attention to details. Details are what give people away. I’ve been watching the details around this place and I’m starting to get nervous.
I need my dad to come home. I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m no longer safe. I haven’t really slept in weeks.
Mom used to work the day shift at the hospital. That was before we moved in with Ernest. Suddenly, she’s been working the night shift. Mom wasn’t happy about it, but she said the change came from her boss and there was nothing she could do about it.
Now here I sit, mom is at work, dad is deployed, and Ernest is my babysitter. I’m in the middle of the living room floor in my favorite pink dress. My hair in two pigtails, with ribbons tied around them. Ernest had told mom we were going to a movie, with his friend’s children.
There are no children here. I got all dressed up, like my mother said to, but I feel like that was a mistake. For one, I don’t like the way Ernest has been staring at me.
I feel ice in my veins, whenever he looks my way. My dad always says I’m his tough cookie. Those words are the only thing that have kept me from peeing on myself.
I’m nervous. The more men that enter the room, the more it feels like it’s closing in on me. Yet, I’m not the only one here anymore that looks nervous.
Crooked Nose just shoved a skinny man into the room by his collar. The man looks like he might pee his pants soon. His eyes are bouncing around at the other four men in the room.
I look down into my lap, wondering if I’m sinking into myself the way he is. The details. This man is as afraid as I am. I look back up to find Ernest still glaring in my direction.
I suck my trembling lower lip into my mouth. I don’t know what lesson I need to learn, but I think I would like to skip it. I don’t want to be here.
“Fine, your choice,” Crooked Nose grumbles. “You just make sure this ain’t a problem. The boss ain’t looking for any mistakes with this one.”
“Mind your own business. The girl is my problem. You worry about this piece of shit,” Ernest finally turns away from me and nods at the skinny man.
“Whatever,” Crooked Nose mutters, before turning to the skinny man. “You really shouldn’t have stolen from us. You had to know this wouldn’t end well.”
“I swear to you, I didn’t take a thing,” Skinny Man shakes his head, holding his hands in the air.
“Did anyone ask you to speak?” Crooked Nose hisses.
Skinny Man clasps his mouth shut and shakes his head. I ball my fist into my dress. My stomach is in knots. I’m afraid for Skinny Man. I feel like I can’t breathe, but I don’t move.
If I don’t move, maybe they will forget about me and I can just get up and leave. My breath hitches, when Crooked Nose punches Skinny Man in the face. Ernest turns to me and I see the evil smile on his lips.
Something in his eyes makes me afraid to look away. One of the other men in the room, drags a chair over and Crooked Nose pushes Skinny Man into it. Skinny Man looks around at everyone. He looks so scared.
“You’re not just a thief, you’re a rat,” Crooked Nose growls.
That’s when Ernest comes to sit next to me on the floor. He runs his hand over one of my pigtails, then leans in to inhale my hair. I flinch, feeling the warning bells go off in my chest. I’m not safe.
Ernest leans into my ear. “I want you to watch. This is what happens to snitches. Do you know what a snitch is?”
I turn to look at Ernest and blink a few times. Yeah, I know what a snitch is. Wyatt is always telling John not to snitch on him.
“Do you?” Ernest snarls, when I don’t answer.
I nod my head, holding back the tears that burn my eyes and threaten to spill. Ernest’s lips curl into a smile. He strokes my hair again.
“Good, then we understand each other,” he says, before pinching my face, turning it to watch, as Crooked Nose beats and tortures Skinny Man. “I’m a powerful man and I know powerful people, Heather. I want you to always remember that.”
His words creep into my skull, causing my head to hurt. I’m not safe. Neither is Skinny Man. I don’t know how long this goes on. I’m stiff with fear and worry for Skinny Man. When crooked nose pulls out a gun, twisting a piece onto the front, I stop breathing.
My eyes go wide, as blood and brains fly all over the plastic the other men covered the room in earlier. I can’t believe what I just witnessed. I feel chills run through my body, I’m shaking harder than ever.
“You’ll keep our secrets. If you don’t this will happen to you and everyone you love,” Ernest whispers in my ear.
My entire body trembles, I can hardly breathe. I think of my mom, my dad, and all of my friends. Ernest’s hand moves to grope my chest. I started growing boobs last year, he now has a hand full of one in his palm.
I’m so afraid and confused about what all is happening, I forget I’m a brave cookie. I piss on myself. I don’t mean to, it just happens.
“Fuck,” Ernest
snarls, hopping up from his seat beside me. “Fucking disgusting. Go clean yourself up and go to bed.”
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I wish I could get out of this house. I scramble from the floor, rushing into my room as fast as I can.
Chapter 2
Unnoticed
Heather
Two weeks later…
I have nightmares. I’ve been having them for a few weeks now. That is when I sleep. I don’t sleep much and not just because Ernest makes frequent visits to my room, when Mom is at work.
I used to lock my door, back in our old place, not anymore. Since being in Ernest’s house, I asked mom for a lock on the door. Stupid Ernest told my Mom I wasn’t old enough to have a locked door.
‘My house, my rules,’ he said.
In his house, he comes and goes as he pleases. It’s our secret. The one he wants me to keep. Every time I think about telling someone our secret, I see Skinny Man with his brains all over the place.
I’ve kept my mouth shut. To make sure that I keep my mouth shut, I stopped hanging out with my friends so much. Well, that was until Ernest started to give me more and more of his attention.
When that started to happen, I began to ask Mom if I could sleepover at Bean’s more often. My cousin’s house is a safe place for me. I have Bean, Aunt Jennifer, and the Blacks.
“Mom made cookies and brownies,” I overhear Felix say to Braxton and Ryan.
I’ve been sitting on the curb, trying to act like I don’t what to play red light, green light, with everyone else. I’m bored and sad that I can’t play with my friends like I used to. When I hear Felix’s excited words, I smile and head to the house.
I slip into the backdoor of the Black house. I love Aunt Cassy’s cookies, they make everything better. She’s not my real aunt. My dad and Uncle Joe are best friends. I’ve been calling Cass and Joe, my aunt and uncle for as long as I can remember.
Uncle Joe is away with my Dad on the same mission. Dad promised that this was the last one. He and Uncle Joe are out after this. They have a business they’re going to start together.
I love Uncle Joe and Aunt Cass. They’ve always treated me like one of their own. If Aunt Cassy has baked cookies. I know she’s baked enough for me, Bean, and the boys.
“I don’t like that fucker, Ernest,” I hear Aunt Cass hiss, stopping dead in my tracks.
“Aye, Love, what would ye have me to do. I’m not ken on the bastard much myself,” I hear Uncle Joe’s voice come through the speaker phone in the kitchen. His accent is showing.
That means one thing. He’s not happy about the topic of conversation. I know my Uncle Joe. When he’s pissed or doesn’t like someone. Then his Scottish accent rears its head.
“Aye, but you don’t see the way the girl looks, Joe. I swear she looks like she’s seen a ghost,” Aunt Cass replies.
My brows shoot up, my heart starts to race. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach that they’re talking about me. I ball my sweaty palms, and listen more closely.
“Rob will gut that fucker alive,” Uncle Joe snarls.
“Not if I cut his nuts off first,” Aunt Cass mutters. “That fucker is arrogant. That money gives him confidence his looks can’t buy. I’ll put a bullet right in his ass, aye, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Now, listen to me, Cass,” Uncle Joe warns. “He runs with the Albanian crime family. Going after him will not be so easy. I want you to wait for Rob and I to get home. We’ll take care of it.”
“Name the fucker I fear,” Aunt Cass replies.
“Cass, for Christ sake, we have seven wee boys. Let me handle this,” Uncle Joe sighs.
“Joe, what if me senses are right? The girl could be in trouble. Debbie cares for no one but herself. She has stars and dollar signs in her eyes. Who’s looking out for the lass,” Aunt Cass pleas, causing my throat to run dry.
They are talking about me. Panic rises in my chest. I can see nothing but Skinny Man being beaten and tortured in my head. My panic turns to anger with myself. I should’ve known to stay away from Aunt Cass.
My heart is pounding. I have to fix this. She can’t stick her nose in this. It’s not safe. I would never forgive myself if she got hurt because of me.
“We don’t have proof, Love,” Joe sighs. “When we get home, we’ll talk to Rob and go from there. For now, I need to know you won’t do anything crazy.”
Aunt Cass snorts, grumbling to herself. There’s silence on the phone, as if Uncle Joe is waiting for her reply. I hold my breath as well, while choking on the fear of Aunt Cass throwing herself in danger’s way for me.
I hear a long deep sigh. “I’ll promise ye this, I will mind me own business as long as I don’t have proof. If I see enough to stick me nose in, I sure as fuck will, Joe. If I have to call me brothers, I will. Aye, I will,” she mutters the last part.
The tightness in my chest doesn’t go away. I know she means every word, which means I need to find a way to keep her from butting in. My stomach growls, begging for the sweet aroma that fills the house. My mouth waters as I feen for the cookies I’d come for, but I don’t think I should go a step further into the house.
I turn and bolt for the back door. When I push outside, I run right into Braxton, knocking him onto his boney butt. He looks up at me with that toothless smile.
I know he’s about to say something silly and talk me into walking back into the house with him for cookies. Braxton is four years younger than me, but he’s one of my best friends. He’s not like most little kids his age.
However, today, I can’t hang out with him or go back into that house. My heart feels like someone filled it with rocks, as it sinks into my stomach. These are my favorite people. The place I feel most safe, but they’re not safe, as long as I’m around.
I can’t let what happened to Skinny Man happen to my family. That’s who the Blacks are, they’re my family. I know that and Ernest knows that too.
Before Braxton can pull me in to his world, I frown at him and stomp my foot. I scowl down at him. “You’re such a little baby. Why don’t you watch where you’re going?”
I see the smile leave his lips and his eyes. I know I’ve just given him the sads, but I have to. I have to keep him safe.
Braxton tries to wipe the sad look from his face. Scowling back at me, he stands to his feet and dusts off his butt. He narrows his eyes at me, watching, studying.
“I’m not a baby,” he finally says. “I don’t know what crawled up your butt, but don’t take it out on me.”
With that he storms past me, into the house. I feel the tears that roll down my cheeks when he’s gone. I rush out of the yard, across to my dad’s house.
No one is there, no one will be there for another hundred and fifty-three days. I wish Faith would’ve stayed at Dad’s and I could’ve stayed with her. None of this would’ve happened if I could’ve just stayed at my dad’s.
I go into the backyard and sit on the swing dad made for me. No one will look for me here. Bean is with her best friend, Nellie. All of the boys are scattered around the block or out somewhere with friends.
For now, everyone is safe. As long as I stay away, as long as I stay here, they’re all safe. I’m safe.
Chapter 3
We're Here
Braxton
Three months later…
“Something’s wrong,” I say, my words whistling through my missing front teeth.
I might be six, but I’m no one’s fool. I see things. I notice stuff. Something ain’t right. Heather hasn’t been herself lately, when she comes to visit Bean. I see it in her eyes and in the way she’s been dressing.
It’s hot as fuck outside. She has on a hoodie and a beanie, for Christ’s sake. All that hair, she has to be burning up. I can see the sweat on the bridge of her nose. Hell, I’m hot just watching her.
It’s not just that. She won’t go next to my house. You used to have to pry Heather from mom’s kitchen and the cookies mom makes. Now, I think she’s avoiding my mom like t
he plague.
I don’t like it. Something just ain’t right. Her pretty brown eyes don’t smile the way they used to. Not the way they would when she would throw her head back and giggle. She doesn’t do that anymore either. Giggle, I haven’t seen her giggle in two months, three weeks, and four days.
Yeah, I’m counting. Heather has been over here a lot more. Her mom and dad divorced two years ago. Heather took it hard at first, but then she was fine for a while, until a few months ago.
We haven’t pulled a prank together in months. Lately, she’s been mean to me all the time. I don’t care, be mean. I don’t have to play with her, but it’s different, when I can see she wants to play.
Something just ain’t right.
“I don’t know,” Ry says thoughtfully, beside me. “I think you’re right. She doesn’t smell like apples anymore,” he scrunches up his nose. “She smells like one of us.”
“Huh?”
I turn to look at my brother. I agree she doesn’t smell like apples anymore. I noticed that too. I just want to know what he means by one of us.
“You know, like a boy. Musky and shit. Like she ain’t bathing right,” Ry frowns.
My own frown deepens. Ry sounds like mom, but I know exactly what he’s talking about. Heather was once a girly, girl. She smelled like apples and bubbles all of the time. There’s nothing girly about Heather anymore. Another thing I’ve noticed.
“I’m going to talk to her,” I mutter.
“Good luck, she’s been biting everyone’s head off. I’m leaving that alone,” Ry says, turning his bike around, heading in the other direction.
I shrug off his words. I’ve never been one to hold my tongue. Oh, of course, I’m an opinionated six-year-old. Cassidy Black is my mom, I don’t know any other way to be. I say exactly what I’m thinking.
