Musings of a Postmodern Vampire

by P. J. Day

  Now that you know my history with Schnell, why in the world would Mr. Gerber send me to China over minor discomfort from one of our less prominent clients?

  Let’s see here. According to the search engine, Guangzhou Jiyin Engineering only did around 80 million yuan with the politburo last year, and another 10 million yuan in the private sector. That translated into a little under 14 million dollars. Obviously, this wasn’t one of our largest customers. I’d ask Mr. Gerber if he also made arrangements to let our client know that I could only meet them indoors, and preferably, in the evening due to my condition. Crap! I promised Holly dinner on Friday night too. I hoped she was online.

  Chapter Six

  Jking1131 is online...

  Holli26 is online...

  JKing1131: Holly? Yo... are you available?

  Holli26: Hello, sexy. What’s up?

  JKing1131: Nuttin much at the very moment. Can’t make it Friday Night.

  Holli26: Umm, wow what’s up?

  JKing1131: Gotta head to Hong Kong tomorrow. Work.

  Holli26: Really? That sucks. Why? Something important? What about your skin condition?

  JKing1131: Well, I’ll be dressed like Michael Jackson when I board the flight at 5:00 p.m., and will be arriving in Hong Kong around 10 p.m. It sucks, but I’ll manage.

  Holli26: Maybe the paparazzi will mistake you for a crazy celeb!

  JKing1131: I hope not. Last thing I want is for 20 camera flashes going off in my face. For my sake, I hope all the cameras are digital, too.

  Holli26: Okay, why digital?

  JKing1131: Who uses regular cameras nowadays, right? It would be kind of cool for them to upload and sell my pictures on TMZ or something.

  Holli26: So are you going to tell me what’s going on? Is it super duper secret, or are you afraid of what you’ll tell me is way over my head?

  JKing1131: Nothing really important. They want me to smooth things over with a client, apparently.

  Holli26: Important client, huh?

  JKing1131: No, not really. That’s what’s so strange about the whole trip. They seem pretty small-time; in fact, they never even showed up on my marketing database.

  Holli26: Hey, before you leave and get too busy to IM me, how about sending me that picture I took of you eating the watermelon?

  JKing1131: Sure, let me upload it... give me a sec.

  Holli26: You looked so funny eating that watermelon—and I never had a picnic at moonlight! That was so fun and weird at the same time. I can’t believe we rescued a seal!

  JKing1131: Here you go: Jack’s Picnic Picture (click).

  JKing1131: I know it’s a public link, but who cares, I’m just another dude eating a watermelon to anyone who sees this pic. Lol.

  Holli26: You look so funny. You are destroying that watermelon.

  JKing1131: Ha Ha! If we would have gone to that steakhouse Friday night, you would have seen how I devour a nice fleshy brisket!

  CassAngeLl82is online...

  CassAngeLl82: Jack, come over...

  JKing1131: Sorry, Cass. I’m leaving to Hong Kong tomorrow.

  Holli26: I wouldn’t mind seeing that! Is this how you bite into other things, as well?

  CassAngeLl82: What time?

  JKing1131: Tomorrow afternoon, Cass. Work stuff.

  CassAngeLl82: That sucks. I’m so in the mood right now.

  JKing1131: Hang on, Holly.

  CassAngeLl82: Asshole is gone again, and he said he has to work ‘til 3 in the morning. What a fucking liar, right? I told him not to even bother to come home tonight. I said, “Go sleep in your stupid office, and be an awesome company man!” Fucking asshole.

  Holli26: Jacky boy, are you there?

  JKing1131: Sorry ’bout that. That was my best man, Ted... just briefing him on the trip.

  Holli26: So, did you see what I wrote?

  JKing1131: Something about my biting habits, I think. ;)

  CassAngeLl82: Did you get the picture I sent you? You like?

  JKing1131: I do like! We’ll have to get together once I get back, baby.

  Holli26: Well, it seems like you are a little busy. I’ll let you go.

  JKing1131: No, wait! Hold on. Let me just tell Ted that I’m logging off.

  Holli26: Fine.

  CassAngeLl82: It’s been 3 weeks, so I can donate a little extra you-know-what tonight. I love the feeling of almost blacking out when you bite me hard and touch me in the right place.

  JKing1131: Oh, really? You know, come to think of it, I might have a few hours, after all.

  CassAngeLl82: I thought that might change your mind.

  Holli26: Sorry, Jack, I gotta go. I’m tired. Maybe we can chat when you’re in Hong Kong?

  JKing1131: Of course! I had a great time with you the other night. When I get back, I promise we’ll devour a nice fleshy brisket together!

  CassAngeLl82: So, are you coming over or not?

  Holli26: Sounds, yummy. Can’t wait.

  JKing1131: Good night, Holly.

  Holli26 is offline...

  CassAngeLl82: Jack? So, is this happening or what?

  Jking1131: Yes, Cassie, of course! Sorry, I just got interrupted by Ted. Be there soon!

  CassAngeLl82: Okay, baby. See you soon.

  CassAngeLl82: has logged off...

  Sonialuvswine13: Hey!

  Jking1131: Who’s this?

  Sonialuvswine13: Did you get my pictures? If you didn’t, click here to see them. Hope you like them. Do you want to hang out?

  Jking1131: Sure, I have a mad case of herpes, though. You mind?

  Sonialuvswine13: That sounds so hot... just make sure you are gentle, okay?

  Jking1131: I got the herpes from having sex with an alien race of bald Bonobos.

  Sonailuvswine13: That sounds sexy. Make sure to give me your email so I can send you a link to my super secret webpage where anything goes.

  vampirehunter27 is online...

  Jking1131: Hey, Ted. I thought you were going to get rid of that stupid name. It’s pretty lame that you to still have it.

  vampirehunter27: Yeah, I’ll change it, but it cracks me up how much it still gets under your thin skin. Which isn’t really hard to do because you literally have thin skin. Cause you’re old and you have weird, veiny vampire skin that lacks an epidermis.

  Jking1131: Thanks. It’s been, what, all of three hours since you last mentioned my weird vampire skin?

  vampirehunter27: Just keeping it real, broheim.

  Jking1131: Well, hurry up and keep it real. I’m off to see Cassie in a few minutes, so what’s up?

  vampirehunter27: Excuse me for getting in the way of a vampire and his blood source. Anyway, I Googled the location of that Chinese company we’re being sent to. Check this out:

  http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ie=UTF8&ll=23.155518,113.302973&spn=0,0.003484&z=19&layer=c&cbll=23.155518,113.302973&cbp=12,0,,0,0&photoid=po-43929301.

  Jking1131: What is this? A clothing market?

  vampirehunter27: Looks like it.

  Jking1131: Why would they send us to a clothing market?

  vampirehunter27: No clue, broheim. Unless they never expected us to Google the location.

  Jking1131: Do they think we’re stupid?

  vampirehunter27: Maybe you.

  Jking1131: Something doesn’t add up. Let me email Gerber and ask him why we were sent the address to a clothing market. Maybe it was a mistake. I’ll call you in the morning. In the meantime, I gotta go.

  vampirehunter27: Fine. Oh, hey, if Cassie is on the rag is that considered like an all you can eat buffet or a really expensive dinner?

  Jking1131: Just pack your bags, funny man. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at dusk.

  Jking1131 is offline...

  vampirehunter27 is offline...

  Chapter Seven

  Gerber didn’t reply to my email. I had no choice but to leave for Hong Kong. I had my fill a few hours ago, and I felt extremely refreshed and relaxed.

  Cassie was extrem
ely nice to me last night, and even though our relationship is centered around our most carnal needs, I do appreciate her and do care for her. However, there is no way I would ever consider pursuing her for more than just a temporary fling. She knows it, and I know it. Even though things are rough with Larry, she still has a deep seeded longing for her husband. She still fondly recalls all the happy moments she shared with Larry until the marriage was put under much stress because of his job, Cassie’s need for an irreverent lifestyle, and the mortgage. Call me crazy, but I think they will find a way to work it out. Cassie is gorgeous, and Larry makes good money. I know that sounds like a superficial understanding for the state of their relationship, but I think if they stick around long enough, where simultaneously Cassie begins to lose her looks and Larry’s scams get exposed, they both will realize how lonely they would be if it wasn’t for society’s temporary perception of their value. I also think they have a masochistic understanding of their relationship, which their personality types revel in. They get off on all the drama. The relationship bends just enough but does not break and produces enough excitement for everyone. It makes for a mind-numbing existence that is hell bent on making concrete societal roles a little more palatable.

  I know Larry suspects Cassie is cheating on him, and a part of him just doesn’t give a rat’s ass because there is a passive-aggressive understanding that cheating is okay between them; however, he knows Cassie loved him before he was a successful banker and will never leave her. He knows Cassie is the only woman that could put up with his shit. Larry knows he is a difficult human being that only a few people can sincerely handle, one of them being Cassie, and he does not want to enter a lonely existence where he has to shape himself into someone he’s not in order to attract another stranger. It isn’t fun when a forty-something, balding, low T male has to enter the singles’ market again and has to fulfill somebody else’s identity of what a man at this stage of his life should be?

  Like most of modern humanity, you only get to live on average 70 years, which is just enough time to create a long-lasting memory of yourself for generations to come. You either do this by creating something out of nothing, that is appreciated, irrelevant, or disdained for eternity, or you just spread your genes and call it a life.

  Through your early twenties, you are nothing but an emotional, hormonal machine that lacks any perspective. You are learning how to act around your peers, and then once you leave school, you realize that your peers were in the same awkward position you were in, and life as you know it was just a closed off experiment where nothing of value was learned that could be applied in the real world.

  Bong hits, Call of Duty, flash mobs at the mall, and texting your best friend’s boyfriend just to test your social standing aren’t tremendously beneficial learning experiences that carry well into adulthood.

  From 20-35, you assert your human sexuality. For many, it’s a time to test the power you have on society. Are you good looking? Can you bed as many mates as you can? Are you intelligent enough to gain wealth and power? Have you decided to accept your fate as an average human being, and settled for the scraps that the wealthy, the powerful, and the beautiful have felt were not good enough for them? It’s an honorable existence, and in some ways, it can be more fulfilling since expectations would be so horribly low, to begin with. A small reward like winning a $50 scratcher, giving birth to a healthy child, getting laid by that girl who always gave you a little longer than usual bit of eye contact at the teller line, or getting that $2 an hour raise, is like winning the Super Bowl.

  The ages of 35-55 hit, and then you realize that it’s all downhill from there. By this time, for the majority of humanity, it’s as good as it gets, and holding on to every little bit of what you have to offer to society must be protected and preserved. This includes your looks, your money, and your job. Everyone younger, more good looking, and wealthier is a threat. Resources are limited, and you will do everything you can not to act up, speak up, or shake things up, so you can preserve your standing in life. Showing up on time, putting in that little extra work, and saying yes to your superiors.

  55-75 is here now; it’s the end of a long and hopefully productive journey. With considerable fortune and smart decision making, you have saved just enough money to eke out a dignified retirement from society. At this point in time, for most of humanity, you are essentially done competing for money, mates, and stature. A lovely little trip to Alaska or Hawaii might be in order if you were extremely efficient with your finances, but if not, there are a few loving homes out there that will give you that satisfying scrambled egg breakfast in the morning, that scrumptious turkey sandwich for lunch, and a Salisbury steak, with a slight beating from the methed-out, underpaid convalescent home employee.

  Now, I feel really, really depressed telling you all this. I am almost 150 years old, and I see this cycle happen all the time. That is why I tell everyone I know to make the best of what is actually in front of you. That means your family, friends, career, and yourself. That is all that the majority of humanity has any direct impact on. You only get so much time in life to put a positive spin on life. You can start with what is in front of you. If you successfully have established positive relationships with all that is tangible, then you can make a positive impact on society and culture, but so few even reach this potential. It takes a special type of intelligence or will to able to accomplish such things as finding a cure for an ailment, making a company millions of dollars, or impacting laws and governance that leads to a better society.

  I envy those who can do it and so should everyone else. I can’t do it because people would question why the guy who cured cancer hasn’t aged in a decade, or why the politician who ended the Israeli/Palestinian conflict can only hold peace talks at night. I guess what I’m getting at is that a shortened lifespan is an opportunity to make the most of your existence.

  If I had a reasonable timetable of my demise, I would probably attempt to do wondrous things. But, until someone decides to off me, or I decide one day to just off myself—which won’t happen because I’m chicken shit—I don’t know when would be the right time to do something mildly important or beneficial to those beyond my scope of reasoning. At this point, I’m just trying to survive, just like the majority of humanity, and it doesn’t go beyond that. Which is a shame, because at least I have an excuse.

  I’m off to pick up Ted. I hope the fuzzy rascal is ready to go. I’ll be honest; I’m pretty nervous about this trip. I’m leaving at dusk and arriving at dawn. My skin is going to feel the sting of sunlight to and from. The job market stinks at the moment, and I’m afraid that there are not too many job openings for nocturnal bloodsuckers who have a penchant for the finer things in life. I can’t really afford to say no.

  I have a feeling my continuous disclosures to Samuel will have to wait. I really don’t know what lies ahead...

  Chapter Eight

  I asked the gentleman next to me if he didn’t mind pulling down the shade on the window. The moonlight was especially bright during the flight, and I was scrambling to go through our entire drive from our server, searching for any data on Guangzhou Jiyin Engineering.

  “Oh, sure. I was nodding off anyway,” said the man, closing his eyes as he crossed his arms. Our elbows briefly touched on the armrest. Good luck falling asleep, I thought.

  I copied most of the folders that I had access to onto my laptop. This included reports, spreadsheets, searchable PDF’s, and various other documents that we all use to strategically target a potential client, do follow-ups, and for general company use.

  I scoured most of the files, and subfolders on the flight looking for any hint of the words Guangzhou, Jiyin, Hong Kong, Wheat, China, and the only thing I found in relation to any of these words was the general file belonging to Guangzhou.

  It was nothing special. Just the typical report we keep on all our clients; which version of our software they purchased, which account executive it belonged to, which technicians have be
en assigned to what account, progress reports, and other miscellaneous data that would never be misconstrued as nefarious in nature.

  Ted had made me extremely paranoid after he showed me a basic Google Maps search of this location. Why was the address to this place a basic marketplace?

  According to the file on Guangzhou, this has been the persistent location for the past three years. I know China is growing by leaps and bounds. One minute an old dingy apartment complex can be turned into a sprawling 50-story business tower, but Google isn’t that slow on updating their data either. Either Guangzhou was using this marketplace as a front for its operations and they were up to who knows what, or Schnell wasn’t sharing all their information about this client and wanted us to remain in the dark on the way there.