Musings of a Postmodern Vampire

by P. J. Day

  Ted was getting antsy. He paced back and forth. His fiending was becoming more and more obvious as our night continued to drag on.

  “I need something that will put me to sleep, you know? This whole schedule has me all fucked up. I’ll head to the gift shop for some over-the-counter stuff. You want anything?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  Ted’s train of thought shifted abruptly as my response didn’t even register in his brain; he immediately turned around and headed for the gift shop. I felt a little bit of remorse leaving him behind in this state. I was tired, though. My back hurt, and, considering what happened to me earlier at the restaurant, with my strange symptoms, I felt it was imperative that I went to bed as soon as possible.

  I projected my weathered, gravelly voice at Ted. “Hey!”

  “Yeah...”

  “Thanks for backing me up tonight.”

  “Oh sure... of course,” he said with a smile.

  “Meet me in the lobby at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow... get yourself something to eat before we head out.”

  “I will. I’ll see ya tomorrow. Good night, Jack.”

  “Good night, Ted.”

  The elevator door opened. I turned around and walked in. As the doors closed, I noticed Ted stumble and catch his step. He fell asleep in the car pretty easily without the aid of drugs. I was surprised seeing him dependent on sleeping pills—non-habit forming, my ass! Ted was turning into a drug addict before my eyes, but I didn’t have time on this trip to play Dr. Drew Pinsky. I had to live with this new reality and adapt accordingly as long as we were in Hong Kong.

  I walked out of the elevator. My eyes were beginning to feel very heavy. There was a slight itch in my throat, probably due to all the ceremonial alcohol drinking I did all night. As I headed to my room, a beautiful brunette with a red scarf and a stylish beige parka strutted toward me in the hallway. As we got closer, she noticed the blood on my shirt. She quickly gave me a concerned glance that slowly morphed into an awkward smile.

  “I won the fight, don’t worry,” I told her as we crossed paths.

  She furrowed her brow, lowered her head, and continued toward the elevator, picking up her pace after my pathetic attempt at deflective small talk. I don’t blame her. I looked like I’d entertained myself tonight by rolling around the filleting floor of a slaughterhouse.

  I continued walking to my room, smiling to myself and wondering what random people thought of my appearance. I then noticed a large envelope at the foot of my door. I picked it up, carefully examining both sides of it. The front side had “Game Plan” written on it with a black marker, probably from Tim and Rebecca. I anticipated reading an even more complex plan than the one that was discussed at dinner last night. It was just another reminder that I no longer was in control of the region, let alone this account. I really hated playing by the book. This corporate gamesmanship was starting to get old.

  Control of my job was the only thing that kept me from disappearing into the woods or some sort of dark, dank sewer system. It’s what made me human, I supposed. Now that all of it had been taken away and replaced with unpredictability. I feared being exposed. I was no longer the lead man in this operation. I was concerned about how long everyone’s patience would last about my condition.

  I dropped the envelope onto my bed; my anxiety temporarily putting off the contents of what might be inside. I then opened the laptop on the desk. I usually signed in as invisible whenever I logged into my instant message service. For some reason, I hadn’t bothered deleting some of my old flings from my friends’ list. I guess it was easier to click “invisible” than it was to right click and delete someone I didn’t want to communicate with anymore. Such was the path of least resistance in technology, even if it meant an extra click or two.

  I quickly noticed that Holly was online. I sent her an emoticon. Girls love emoticons. I don’t know why, but they love those little smiley faces. I found them pretty damn cheesy, but there had to be something alluring and inviting about a yellow head with a smiley face, I suppose.

  You have a message from roe7163 do you wish to accept? Yes/No

  Holli26: You sent me an emoticon and nothing else?

  JKing1131: You didn’t like the little smiley puckering up for a kiss?

  Holli26: It’s cute, but how about a hello?

  JKing1131: I thought you girls liked these little things?

  Holli26: No. What I meant is that they are what they are... juvenile. I’d rather get a hello. These generic smiley faces are so impersonal.

  JKing1131: Sorry... Hello, Holly!

  Holli26: Much better...

  JKing1131: Lunchtime?

  Holli26: Yes, how did you know?! You are getting good with the time differences, aren’t you?

  JKing1131: No. I forgot to change the time on my laptop.

  Holli26: Oh, you could have lied to impress me, you know? Opportunity wasted...

  JKing1131: If I lied then I wouldn’t be able to stop.

  Holli26: True, then it gets messy.

  Holli26: I was hoping you’d be online. I have a surprise to tell you!

  JKing1131: Did Sir Flipperson survive?

  Holli26: No, that is not the surprise; however, I was going to let you know that he is doing really well. In fact, when I called the shelter, they told me if the volunteer would have showed up 10 minutes later, our little friend would not have made it. So we did good!

  JKing1131: See? We make a damn fine team. That’s good news... see, even if that disgusting smell in my car still lingers when I get back, it was all worth it.

  Holli26: I’m so sorry about that. I promise I will pay whatever it takes to get the smell out.

  JKing1131: Seriously, please don’t worry about it.

  Holli26: So, you ready for the surprise?

  JKing1131: Sure, ready... hit me. I love surprises!

  Holli26: You know how I’m a freelance photographer for the movie studios, right? I do set-up shots for desired locations during pre-production and all that jazz.

  JKing1131: I knew that already. You kind of touched on it briefly on our date. You do take some awesome pictures.

  Holli26: Thanks, I don’t like showing off my work to guys I barely know. It could come off as gloating.

  JKing1131: No, I didn’t feel that way. You are pretty humble about your work. I remember seeing a picture of “Fly Geyser” http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fly_geyser.jpg. You told me it looked like a mess. I think it’s one of the most glorious things I have ever seen!

  Holli26: I was scouting some locations for a zombie movie and this was one of the locations we talked about. Thanks, but that picture takes itself, you know. You would have taken just as good a picture.

  JKing1131: No way! You’re so talented, Holly! If you weren’t as talented as I know you are, then you wouldn’t be in such demand.

  Holli26: Thanks Jack, that’s nice of you. The older you get, the less people you know that are sincerely interested in one’s work. I appreciate that.

  JKing1131: So, what’s the surprise?

  Holli26: I’m heading to Hong Kong tomorrow!! They want me to take photographs of some well-known buildings, the Kowloon and the bay.

  JKing1131: Really? Wow!

  Holli26: I mean, we don’t have to hang out, but I have never been there before. I won’t bother you if you don’t want me to. I know you’re busy.

  JKing1131: No! I want to hang out with you! My schedule looks too busy in the evenings for obvious reasons, but if you can hang in there a little longer than normal at night, we’ll go out and have a late dinner or hang at the hotel bar or something.

  Holli26: Thanks, Jack. That’s nice of you. I can’t wait. I don’t mind hanging around and checking out the sights until you get back.

  JKing1131: You won’t be disappointed. The city is incredible!

  Holli26: Jack, there has been something I wanted to tell you. You have some time?

  JKing1131: Sure...

  Holli26: I’m really loo
king forward to spending some time with you. You seem pretty wise for someone your age and I like talking to you... hearing you out.

  JKing1131: Thanks.

  Holli26: I really liked spending time with you, and you have some pretty wonderful things to say about life. Important things. I haven’t met anyone else that expresses these things quite like you.

  JKing1131: Like what?

  Holli26: Remember when you started giving me that back rub on the bluff? We talked about experiencing Halley’s Comet in 1986 as children. You talked about it much more vividly that I ever could. You remember the faces watching it so lucidly and their specific reactions, and how you saw a really old man with a tear in his eye, thinking that it would be probably be the last time seeing it. You were just a kid, Jack!

  JKing1131: Yeah, well, you know...

  Holli26: You’re an old soul. Embrace it. That is what makes me want to be around you more. I want to experience life through your eyes.

  JKing1131: Wow, that feels like a lot of pressure...

  Holli26: No... no... don’t feel pressured. I wasn’t trying to put pressure on you to perform or anything. You seem like a special person, that’s all. I hope I wasn’t too forward, I’m sorry.

  JKing1131: No, it’s okay, Holly. Those were some extremely kind words. Honestly, I don’t know what to say. Hey, just get down here. We’ll keep talking.

  Holli26: Okay.

  JKing1131: You can also call me on my cell. I don’t know how your phone will be set up when you get here but if it’s an international call, dial 001 852 3 then the number or just dial 3 and the number if you are here and your service is local. My number is 543-7654.

  Holli26: Okay. I know you are about to go to sleep, and I have some proofs I need to go over. I’ll call you tomorrow when I arrive.

  JKing1131: Thanks for the kind words, Holly. We’ll talk tomorrow.

  Holli26: Good night.

  King1131: Good night!

  Holli26 is offline...

  I sat back, pushed off the table with my feet, lifting the front legs of my chair as I put my arms on the back of my head, connecting my fingers. Thoughts raced through my mind. I thought Holly really liked me. Just how much, though? Enough to accept me for the freak that I am or just enough to be enamored with 150 years of human wisdom packaged in a body of a perceived 30-year-old male? These were questions that were better left answered over dinner once I got the chance for some free time.

  I noticed a message from roe7163 before I chatted with Holly. Probably another bot trying to get my credit card information, but I wasn’t sure. Sometimes people change their screen names to avoid being detected by someone they no longer want to converse with. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t the latter.

  roe7163 (msg sent @ 12:37 p.m.): Jack, meet me at the “Ngo Ngo Nei Cafe” on 103 Austin Rd. It is important... come alone. I know who you are. Be there at midnight. It’s open late. I’ll be wearing sunglasses and a San Francisco 49ers hat.

  JKing1131: Who is this? Do I know you? What do you mean, you know who I am?

  roe7163 is offline message will be retrieved by recipient.

  As soon as I realized there was no one on the other end, a horrible possibility overtook the serenity that Holly had temporarily struck me with. Had Clark Kent been exposed? I had a bad feeling that my careless nature at the club had come full circle and bitten me in the ass. If this person knew what I was up to with my job, I was fucked, and if they thought I was some sort of monster, I was equally fucked.

  What if I was being followed? What if a group of masked thugs burst into my room and dragged me away to be locked away for good? What if a gang of government strongmen kidnapped Ted and threatened to stick leeches onto his balls unless I showed up and turned myself in?

  Maybe I shouldn’t worry to the point of the worst-case scenario. I should put it off just like all the other things in life that gave me anxiety. Avoidance was the ultimate coping mechanism. This is why I had a stack of parking tickets as tall as my couch. I know sooner or later, they would all go away into the memory hole. My name would eventually disappear from their databases. Within a hundred years or so, a glitch would render me invisible. That is what was so good about being a vampire: time is your friend.

  I didn’t return library books, I didn’t pay my credit cards, and I purposely got caught shoplifting on security cameras. You know why? Because I outlived every statute of limitation that mere mortals put into their ever-changing legal system, and also most video cameras still used good old-fashioned film, so they couldn’t see me anyway. Hence, no evidence.

  Okay, I’ll be honest; I’m not that much of an asshole. I don’t really do those things, but I would be lying to you if I told you I haven’t thought about it at least once. Thought crime was my secret mistress.

  Dammit! I didn’t know what to do. I had people I cared about with me here in Hong Kong and I also had the weight of an entire company on my shoulders. There was absolutely no way I could neglect this person’s request to see me tonight. I’d make time to swing by. If I recognized the person, I’d have a chat; if I didn’t, I’d play dumb—what am I saying?! I’d play dumb either way. The burden of proof was on them. I needed to sleep, I needed to stay sharp. I was well fed. This could get out of hand.

  I smiled at the prospect of things getting out of hand.

  Why was I working myself up so much over this? Unless roe7163 was another vampire, I had the upper hand here. If I were back home in L.A., this wouldn’t even be a moment of pause for me; bodies turn up in alleys all the time there. Hong Kong... not so much, I would think. Still, a threat of any kind would warrant me to defend myself. One good feeding and the code remained intact. I smiled again at the resolution I had arrived at. Out of all the things that had irked me over the many years I had spent amongst mankind, blackmail was just about on the top of my list. I just didn’t get that constant human need of one-upmanship and always wanting to have something to hold over another being.

  It was petty and uncivilized... and I considered myself to be a rather civilized being who believed irrevocably that the world was not yet ready to see a vampire revealed, much less a vampire unleashed.

  Book Two:

  Vampire Unleashed

  Chapter One

  “Tink, tink, tink, tink.”

  A slight metallic sound woke me up from my deep slumber. It sounded as if someone was knocking on the doorknob with a key or a sharp metallic object. I lifted myself from my messy bed; clothes, belts, and loose change were strewn about the sheets. I checked to see if I looked decent enough to answer the door. I realized I was still wearing the same bloodied and tattered clothes from the night before.

  The clock said 2:00 p.m. Our meeting was still four hours away. My head felt extremely heavy, my vision blurred. I rubbed both my eyes with my hands. My eyes were sticky with goop, not your average human goop, but the gray, stringy, vampire kind.

  My laptop was still on, and the Wi-Fi was down again. A little exclamation point covered the bars that showed signal strength. I was afraid I had to make another trip to the internet cafe, wasting away valuable time in the process.

  As I got up to plug the laptop back into the charger, I felt a slight sting on the back of my head. The inch-wide separation of the room’s curtains let in just enough sunlight, burning the little hairs on the back of my neck. I closed the small gap quickly.

  “Coming... hold on!” I yelled as I fought through the minute laser stream of sun that peered through like a shiny line of hate and pain. I placed my carry-on luggage against the curtains, making sure they didn’t open up again.

  “TINK, TINK, TINK!” The knock was louder this time; the doorknob shook violently. I thought it was going to pop out of its socket.

  “Can you wait, please? Can’t you knock on the door like a normal human being?” I asked as I made my way to the desk.

  I combed my hair and cleaned the dried blood off my forehead with one of those small towelettes that looked like the ones th
e wait staff gets you at those barbecue chains.

  I opened the door ever so slightly, carefully peering through it. I had to make sure it wasn’t someone who was sent to drag me away or have me killed. My senses and awareness were heightened after last night.

  “Yes?” I asked, expecting to see a stranger’s face at eye level.

  “Are you Jack King?” The voice was at a higher pitch than I expected.

  I looked down. There stood a boy no more than eight years of age, wearing a blue bubble jacket, a red cap, and a nicely ironed set of khakis. His stumpy black shoes gave his feet a caricature-like appearance. His jet-black hair partially covered his ears. He looked quite pale, but we still didn’t share the same complexion. It was a healthy pale. His eyes were black and large. His nose was slightly large in proportion to his fine, facial features.

  “Yes,” I answered. “How do you know my name?” I asked with a slight, uncomfortable chuckle.

  “No time to discuss details. I need to enter your room.”

  The boy pushed the door and my slight resistance had no effect as he entered. He was particularly strong for someone his size.

  He entered with a tremendous sense of urgency. He stopped, mid-gait, and began to scan the room very carefully. His head cranked left to right like an automaton.