Musings of a Postmodern Vampire

by P. J. Day

Rebecca looked up at the ceiling and began to complain about the room’s lighting.

  “What is up with this unflattering, fluorescent glow in the room? Ughh, it makes me look like I have jaundice.”

  Alan chuckled at Rebecca as he continued to admire the contrasting colors of the lobby’s artwork.

  I proceeded to take off my scarf, sunglasses, and of course, the perched emu, known as Holly’s hat, and placed all my accessories on the black marble coffee table.

  After a couple of minutes of waiting, we heard a loud buzz. The door leading in the opposite direction of the one we came in through slowly opened. A thinly framed, chisel-cheekboned man with a wonderful bespoke suit walked through the door with the indubitable Havens Ling, all 6-feet-3-inches of him in tow. As well as possessing an extraordinarily large dome, Havens also was the proud owner of some massive hands. There were tattoos going down each and every one of his digits. The tattoo on his neck peeked out from underneath his collar, tentacled and inked with pink; only Havens knew the meaning behind the squid artwork that he unabashedly displayed on his throat. If this man was a scientist or an engineer, then I was a werewolf. I’m sorry for stereotyping, but I’m not stupid, and neither were Alan and Rebecca. This whole scenario stunk to high heaven; I had to be assertive from the get-go and stay on guard. I stood straight up with a commanding posture and extended my hand out to Yi as if it was a chance meeting with George Clooney outside a Starbucks, pretending to revel in his presence.

  “Hello, I’m Jack, your account manager.”

  Yi smiled and stuck out his thin hand, shaking it firmly, with power and authority. He smiled like a man who knew he was untouchable, a man who had the support of an entire country, and an entire people.

  “Hello, my name is Yi,” he said in a rich baritone voice.

  His tone was commanding and his English had a slight British twang to it. I then took one step forward and to the side of Yi, extending out my hand to Havens as well.

  “Heard a lot about you,” I said.

  With no smile and with the same frigid look he had on his headshot, Havens shook my hand with umbrage. I stepped aside so Alan and Rebecca could exchange pleasantries, too.

  “Nice seeing you again,” Alan told Yi.

  “Likewise,” Yi responded. “Please, step inside. I know you all had a long drive. We will talk in the conference room.”

  Right as I walked through the doorway, I felt an overwhelming force hit my chest, like a runaway bull hitting my sternum head on. I stumbled backward into Alan. He carefully pushed me forward. I closed my eyes and shook my head a bit, trying to brush away the sudden impact. My skin started to itch a bit and my eyeballs started pulsating like the other night at the restaurant.

  “What’s wrong?” Rebecca asked as she stood behind Alan.

  Yi and Havens just stood there, both with dry expressions.

  “Do you need a drink?” Yi asked calmly.

  “No, I’m fine. Let’s sit down; it’s probably the long drive,” I said.

  I started to feel the cravings slowly creeping up on me again. My mouth began watering. I felt my pupils rapidly expanding. My muscles began tightening. My eyes were hyperfocused on Yi and Haven’s necks as they stood in front of me. I was starting to experience hunger pains as if I hadn’t fed for weeks. I stopped and stooped over a bit, putting my hands on my knees and looking straight at the floor. I heard Alan’s voice echoing in the distance, even though I was aware he was right behind me. “Jack, you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said, waving him off.

  It took quite a bit of effort to stand up straight again but I did. I quickly realized that this meeting, whatever the outcome, would have to be willed with everything I had left. I was in desperate need of some blood and in danger of turning feral. I reopened my eyes and saw the facility for the first time. It was just a long corridor, one that you would typically see inside a modern hospital, with multiple rooms on each side.

  I took a deep breath and stretched my neck. “I’m sorry,” I said to everyone in our group.

  Everyone except Havens discordantly said, “It’s okay.”

  We all continued to follow Yi and Havens passing a few doors. We finally entered the conference room. It was just a normal meeting room with wood paneling. In the middle of the room, a glass table with ten leather chairs awaited our arrival. A clock hung on the east wall, and a rolling tray with beverages was placed against the same wall.

  “I apologize,” Rebecca said to the group. “But can you tell me where your restroom is?”

  “Take a right and it’s the second door on your left. Let me apologize in advance; the bathroom is shared by both men and women, but it’s clean,” Yi said.

  “Thank you so much,” Rebecca said, slightly bouncing in the doorway of the conference room.

  “Have a seat,” Yi requested politely.

  Alan and I sat one side of the table, Havens and Yi on the other.

  “Do you gentleman want a drink? We have some scotch... juices,” asked Yi.

  “No, we’re fine. It is very kind of you to offer,” Alan said.

  “I’m sorry your partner couldn’t make it,” said Yi.

  “Yes; unfortunately, he had another client with an emergency in Singapore,” I said.

  “Isn’t this an emergency situation?” Yi asked.

  He was right and Yi’s analysis put me in a bind, exposing the weakness of the excuse Ted and I had come up with.

  “Well, we felt that splitting duties was the best way to handle the immediate needs of both of our clients.”

  “Well, some things we cannot control. I just feel bad for my colleague, Havens. Your partner Ted’s talents would have come in handy when discussing the technical shortcomings of our situation. Havens’ command of English isn’t the best.”

  “I’m sorry about that but I feel like Alan, Rebecca and I are going to be more than enough to convince you that continuing to do business with Schnell is still extremely viable and absolutely necessary,” I said, as I caught my breath, feeling extremely winded and weak.

  “I’ve worked in genetic engineering for almost two decades, Mr. King. I worked my way through the Ministry of Science and Technology as one of my country’s most promising engineers. I became a department State Councilor at the age of 24. I was one the most sought-after experts on fungal-resistant crops when my country deregulated the industry. I have singlehandedly stopped millions of my brothers and sisters from starving. So tell me, Mr. King, why should I listen to someone who is not an engineer about why I should continue doing business with your company?”

  Yi’s revelation caught me off guard. His semi-hostile position had me scrambling for answers. Alan was right; Yi saw me as no better than a car salesman. Well, if Yi wanted to play the accomplishment game, I could, too.

  “Sir, I must say, I had no idea I was going to speak to someone as influential as you. I will be the first one to admit that I’m slightly intimated by your credentials.”

  I paused and Rebecca came into the room from her long excursion to the little girl’s room.

  “Excuse me,” she said, as she carefully sat down, not trying to draw attention to herself.

  I continued, “However, as you may know, Schnell is one of the top firms in the world and their recent global ascendance is all due to my extensive research in the science of coagulation. Not only do I know a thing or two about how to handle our clients—we’ve only had two clients drop us over the past decade—I also can pinpoint the needs of our clients when it comes to their research.”

  Yi turned to Havens and they both cackled softly at each other. Yi picked up a pen that was on the table and started tapping the glass with its ball point. He made a circular gesture at his own eyes and asked me, “Your pupils; what’s happening?”

  “Allergies...”

  Yi turned to Havens again and gave each other another light chuckle. I then gave an inquisitive look at Alan. All Alan did was shrug his shoulders.

  “I apprec
iate your effort, Jack. But you need to understand that in this country, we do things a little differently. Eight of the ten senior officials in our government all have engineering or science backgrounds. I think in the U.S. where you are from—am I right?—how many of your leading politicians are scientists, engineers, or biologists?”

  I had no idea what Yi was implying. He either really had it in for me or for my profession. Maybe it was a bad idea for me to reassert my role as team leader. Maybe I should have listened to Alan. It is possible that because they were both engineers, they could communicate better and save the account? But why have me here, then? Something just didn’t add up.

  “Sir, you’re absolutely correct. I’m no engineer; however, I will do everything in my power to make sure your needs are met. I have a special relationship with the C.E.O. Things can get fixed, believe me.”

  Yi sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. He just stared blankly at me. When Havens didn’t giggle with Yi, he had the same stern look on his face. Cold, stale and blank. I looked over at Alan and Rebecca and they sat silently, both giving me a look of I told you so.

  “Your country and your business is run by salesmen,” added Yi. “I want our needs to be met by engineers from top to bottom. Our operation is highly sensitive. We are living and breathing like moles because we do not want to be infiltrated by our own people and outsiders. That is how important our work is.”

  I started feeling weaker and weaker as soon as I began to percolate my thoughts, just thinking about matching wits with Yi. I was beginning to feel extreme resignation. I was alone in the conference room. I was left alone to rot. I was left alone to be sacrificed. I was up against a force unlike any I had ever seen. Sure, I could kill this man right now without even thinking twice about it, but I decided to play his game and everyone’s game that was in this room. As soon as I took this job, I gave up being a vampire. I ceased being a wild beast that was unshackled, cursed, but essentially free and of course, alone. I gave up my identity just for a chance at assimilation with humans. A chance at a closet full of nice clothes. A chance at a nice car and a stable life. Ultimately, a chance at true love.

  My hands were trembling; I began sweating profusely. My eyes most likely looked sickly to everyone in the room. It was time to withdraw. I looked over at Alan and Rebecca and then looked at Yi. “There is nothing I can do for you; you’re right,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Schnell has sent over their best minds to help you and your company at this moment. I’m no longer going to handle this account; you may refer to Alan and Rebecca from now.”

  Yi smiled.

  “I’ve been talking to them for months now. If these are your best minds, then how come the problem hasn’t been fixed? Rald sends you? How are you going to fix this? At least your friend, Ted, could have translated through Alan or Rebecca so Havens could understand, but he’s not here.”

  I started feeling dizzy. I needed blood fast. I couldn’t afford to snap at this very moment. I had to get up.

  “Excuse me,” I said, as I stood up. “I need to step outside for a moment.”

  Everyone at the table stared at me with minimal concern as I got up and walked out of the conference room. I saw a wooden beam in the middle of the hallway, I leaned into it with my forearm, while resting my head against it. Rebecca walked out of the conference room and approached me with a look of concern.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  I turned around and looked at her; my eyes were half closed.

  “It’s no big deal. We’ll convince him to let us see his operation,” I said, with self-doubt in my voice.

  Yi, Havens, and Alan walked out the conference room together and approached me.

  “Jack, you look very flustered. Alan told me about your condition. We made arrangements to accommodate you and your situation, but unfortunately, there was a change in plans. I’m sorry,” Yi said without any real emotion.

  “No, it’s fine. I understand,” I said, still resting against the beam.

  “Look, I know what would help you. Let’s take a tour of the facility. It’s only the polite thing to do. A walk could make you feel better.”

  “You’re probably right,” I said.

  Alan, Rebecca, and I followed Yi and Havens into a room across the conference room. This room, in particular, had a large window that you could see through. Others didn’t. All the rooms had RFID panels for authorized entry. These measures led me to believe that not even the upper brass trusted their own in an operation like this.

  The room that Yi and Havens led us to had dozens of computers lined up in rows, with a giant server in the back room. I was familiar with this setup as it was called a PerlGP implementation. It was a grammar-based genetic program based in PERL. The reason I knew? There was a camel sticker on the side of one of the workstations. The camel had become somewhat of an unofficial logo for the PERL language.

  “PERL, huh?” asked Alan.

  “We’ve been using PERL for a few months now; why do you ask?” asked Yi.

  “It’s just very slow. Yeah, it might get the job done. But our compilers were designed with Java in mind. I think I may have recognized one of your problems,” Alan said with confidence.

  Yi began interpreting what Alan just said to Havens. I looked at Rebecca.

  “Why did Yi tell me we needed Ted?” I asked. Rebecca flashed me a worried look, “Jack, you look really bad. You can sit down, you know.”

  I kept closing my eyes as Alan and Yi continued to converse. Rebecca stood still just staring at me, not knowing what to do. What is strange is that whenever I get extreme hunger for blood, I usually get spikes of adrenaline coursing through my body in intervals; however, this time, just like at the restaurant, I feel nothing but fatigue and pain, dizziness and depression, slight paranoia and back pain. Yet, I felt extreme pangs of hunger.

  “Jack!” Yi said loudly.

  “Sorry, yes?” I responded, as Yi snapped me out of my malaise.

  “Your friend, Alan, has convinced me.”

  I didn’t know if I should’ve felt relief when he told me that or accepted it as a cue to leave and find a way out of my current condition.

  “Great,” I said, looking like a drunk.

  “I’ll show you to our server room. Right this way,” said Yi, exiting the room first along with Havens.

  We followed Yi and Havens down the long corridor. We passed by more rooms. Some you could see through the windows, others were sealed off from view. Everywhere, there were workers dressed in scrubs. Some had masks on their faces; others were in suits. Two young females in business suits walked right by us; one made eye contact with me. She gave me a look of pity. I didn’t bother to connect with her eyes long; it was like looking into a mirror of despair. The room Yi was leading us to was 150 yards deep into the corridor. Even though we were underground, the facility we were in didn’t go any deeper than the level we first walked into. Just a straight shot to who knows where.

  Yi arrived at a set of solid steel, orange-painted double doors. He used his RFID card on the panel next to it and then used his thumbprint on the biometric device located next to the RFID panel. He quickly looked back at us.

  “Highly sensitive,” he said, smiling.

  Havens followed with a nod of agreement and nothing else.

  “Are you guys familiar with Python?” Alan asked.

  Smart boy, I thought, since Alan’s dummy code was based on Python.

  Yi turned to Havens. “Nǐ shúxī Python ma?”

  Havens laughed and made a snake wiggle gesture with his arm.

  “No Python, just Java and PERL,” Yi said to us.

  Alan and Rebecca both looked at each other and smiled.

  Yi and Havens pushed through the double doors with maximum effort. A cool, fresh blast of air hit us head-on as soon as the doors separated wide enough from each other. My glazed, sleepy eyes suddenly received a burst of alertness as soon as I realized what was in front of me. This area was more than j
ust a server room; it was a control room of some type. There were walkways above us where the walls were adorned with multiple servers, IT techs walking down the catwalks, meticulously checking temperatures, and their workstations. To my left, there was a glass room with a podium and an electronic whiteboard. A black examination board hung on the wall, where a set of chromosomes hung, ready for inspection. To my right was a row of tables, each one with an array of microscopes. A room was right behind them, one with a door that had a radioactive symbol hanging on it. Another sign indicated an electron microscope inside.

  “Holy...” I said, catching myself mid-curse.

  I gingerly walked to the center of the large room. I stopped in front of a stainless steel examination table with straps and stirrups. There was a rolling tray with syringes, vials, a saw, scissors, gauze, and scalpels.

  I looked to Yi, giving him a slight chuckle, “Is this where you strap your super fungus?” No one laughed with me. Alan and Rebecca stood still, their arms at their side, both with thousand-yard stares. Havens stood next to them, his arms crossed.

  “What, not funny?” I asked with unease.

  Yi slowly walked up to me. “Mr. King, how do you feel?”

  “Why?” I asked, feeling a gulp go down my throat.

  “You don’t look so good,” he said, answering the question for me.

  “Yes, I’m under the weather. Why are you so suddenly concerned about the way I feel?”

  Yi had a stern look on his face. He made it a point to make eye contact with me. He then reached into his jacket and pulled a vial from his pocket. He held the vial in his hand a few feet away from me at nose level. I smelled it as if it were an inch from my nose as soon as he took it out of his jacket. Its dark red consistency, its purity evident as soon as it made contact with the room’s artificial lighting. I felt my mouth begin to water uncontrollably. My pupils began to dilate further, accompanied with profuse sweat and horrific stomach pains. I could see Haven’s eyes light up with delight as soon as he saw me slowly morph into a pathetic, needy beast.

  I collapsed. My right knuckle hit the sterile, concrete floor, supporting me as my right knee smashed onto the floor as well. I grabbed my stomach with my left hand, trying to do anything and everything to alleviate the sudden, horrific pain that overtook my gut. I looked up at Yi. I began to suspire rapidly.