The House On Hope Street

by Steel, Danielle

  “That’s disgusting. What about Daddy?”

  “What about Daddy?” Peter pointedly asked his sister. “He’s gone. Mom isn’t. She can’t sit here taking care of us forever.”

  “Why not?” Megan didn’t see his point, and what she did see of it, she didn’t like. In her opinion, her mother had no reason to be dating. “Mom doesn’t need to go out,” she said both to Peter and her mother. “She has us.”

  “That is the point exactly. She needs more than that in her life. After all, she had Daddy,” Peter said, sounding firm.

  “That’s different,” Megan said stubbornly.

  “No, it isn’t,” Peter insisted, as their mother stayed out of it, but she was fascinated by the conflict of opinions. Megan was adamant that she shouldn’t be dating, and Peter was clear that she needed more in her life than just work and children, which was precisely why Bill Webster had invited her out. He had said much the same thing as Peter. But it was equally obvious that Megan felt threatened by the idea of a man in her mother’s life who wasn’t her father.

  “What do you think Daddy would say about your going out, Mom?” she asked her mother directly.

  “I think he’d say it’s about time,” Peter said simply. “It’s been nearly nine months, and she has a right. Hell, when Andy Martin’s mom died last year, his father got remarried in five months. Mom hasn’t even looked at another man since Dad died,” Peter said fairly, but Megan looked even more worried.

  “Are you going to marry the doctor?”

  “No, Megan,” Liz said quiedy, “I’m not going to marry anyone. I’m going to eat pizza and see a movie. It’s pretty harmless.” But it was interesting to her to realize the strong reaction her children had to it, both pro and con. It made her think about it herself as she walked slowly upstairs to her bedroom. Was it wrong? Was it a crazy thing to do, or inappropriate? Was it too soon to be “dating”? But she wasn’t dating Bill, they were just going out for movies and dinner, and she certainly didn’t want to marry anyone, as Megan had accused. She couldn’t imagine marrying anyone after Jack. He had been the perfect husband for her, and anyone else would fall short, she was sure. This was just an evening out, and Bill was just a friend. But Megan was still on the warpath when Bill came to pick her mother up the next evening promptly at seven. Megan glared at him, and stomped up the stairs as loudly as she dared after she let him in. She didn’t say a word to him, or introduce herself, and Liz apologized for her being so rude, but Jamie made up for it as he came downstairs with a broad smile to greet Bill. He was happy to see him. And Bill smiled and chatted with him before they left for dinner.

  “Did you have fun at the party last night?” Bill stroked the silky dark hair as he asked him.

  “It was fun.” Jamie nodded. “I ate too many hot dogs and got a stomachache. But it was fun before that.”

  “I thought so too,” Bill agreed, and then pretended to look worried. “You’re not going to give me a shot, are you, Jamie?” The child laughed at the joke, and then Bill asked him if he’d ever flown a kite, and Jamie admitted that he hadn’t. “You’ll have to come fly mine with me sometime,” he said pleasantly. “I have a really great one. It’s an old-fashioned box kite I made myself, and it flies really well. We’ll take it out to the beach sometime and fly it.”

  “I’d like that,” Jamie said with wide eyes and a look of interest.

  Rachel and Annie came down to say hi to him then, but Megan never appeared again. She was sulking in her room, and furious with her mother. Peter was out, he’d been picked up by friends since he couldn’t drive, and Bill said to say hello to him as they left. Jamie promised to tell Peter when he got back.

  “They’re great kids,” he said admiringly. “I don’t know how you do it.”

  “Easy,” she smiled as she got into his comfortable Mercedes, “I just love them a lot.”

  “You make it sound a lot easier than it is. I just can’t see myself doing that,” he said, as though contemplating a liver transplant, or open-heart surgery. He made it sound painful and difficult, and potentially fatal. Being a parent had always been something of a mystery to him.

  “Can’t see yourself doing what?” she asked, as he started the car and backed down her driveway.

  “Being married and having kids. You make it look so effortless, but I know damn well it isn’t. You have to be good at it. It’s an art form. It’s a lot tougher than practicing medicine, from all I know.”

  “You learn it as you go along. They teach you.”

  “It’s not as simple as that, Liz, and you know it. Most kids act like juvenile delinquents, and wind up on drugs, or something close to it. You’re damn lucky to have five kids like that,” and he included Jamie in the compliment just as she did. He was a terrific kid, and despite his challenges, he only took a little more care and attention than the others. She had to keep an eye on him to make sure he didn’t accidentally hurt himself, or do something dangerous, or get lost.

  “I think you’ve got some funny ideas about kids,” she said as they drove along. “They’re not all little hoodlums, you know.”

  “No, but a lot of them are, and their mothers are worse,” he said matter-of-factly, and she laughed.

  “Should I get out of the car now before you find out the truth about me, or will you trust me through dinner?”

  “You know what I mean,” he insisted. “How many marriages do you know that work, really work?” he asked bluntly, sounding like a true cynic, and a confirmed bachelor.

  “My marriage worked,” she said simply. “We were very happy for a very long time.”

  “Well, most people aren’t, and you know it,” he said, trying to convince her.

  “No, you’re right, most people aren’t that happy, but some are.”

  “Damn few,” he said, as they reached the restaurant, and she looked at him cautiously once they were seated at their table.

  “How did you get such terrible views about marriage, Bill? Was it as bad as all that?”

  “Worse. By the time it was over, we hated each other. I haven’t seen her since, and wouldn’t want to. And she’d probably hang up on me, if I called her. That’s how bad it was. And I don’t think we were the exception.” It was obvious that he believed what he was saying, although Liz didn’t.

  “I think you were,” she said calmly.

  “If we were, then you’d be out of business.” She laughed at that, and they ordered a mushroom-and-pep-peroni pizza with olives on it. It sounded good to both of them, and when it came, it was delicious. They dove into it, and had eaten roughly half when they decided they’d had enough, and the waitress served them coffee.

  They had talked about a lot of things, medicine, the law, the years he had spent in New York during his residency, and how much he liked it, and she talked about going to Europe with Jack and loving it, particularly Venice. They touched on a wide variety of subjects, but she was still intrigued by what he’d said about marriage and children. He obviously had very strong opinions on the subject. And she felt sorry for him. He had deprived himself of a way of life she cherished. She wouldn’t have given up the years of her marriage for anything, and certainly not her children. Without them, she knew her life would be empty, as she suspected his was. All he really cared about was his work, and the people he took care of and worked with. It was a lot, but not enough for a whole life, in her opinion. But they didn’t bring up the subject again. Instead, their conversation turned to films.

  He had very eclectic tastes, he liked foreign films, and arty movies, as well as some big commercial ones. She admitted that she enjoyed the kind of movies she saw with her children, they were all very commercial films, and in Peter’s case, action movies. And she used to love going with them. It reminded her of how little she had done with her children, out in the world, since Jack died. She was always there for them at home, but she seldom went out with them anymore, and she promised herself silently that she would in future. Bill had gotten her rolling
again, and after the film they saw that night, she promised herself she was going to take the kids soon. It was a long time since they had done something like that together, and it was time now.

  She invited him in for a drink when they got home, but he said he had to get up early the next day. He had to be at the hospital at six, and she was touched that he had stayed out so late with her. It was after eleven o’clock, and more likely than not, he’d be tired in the morning. She apologized to him for it and he smiled.

  “I think you’re worth it.” She was surprised by his words, but she was glad he said them. She had had a good time with him. She thanked him, he promised to call her again soon, and she went inside as he drove away. Peter and Megan were still up, and she could see almost before she closed the door that she was about to be subjected to the inquisition.

  “Did he kiss you?” Megan asked accusingly, with a tone of disapproval and revulsion.

  “Of course not. I scarcely know him.”

  “That wouldn’t be cool on the first date,” Peter said wisely, and his mother laughed.

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you guys, we’re just friends. I think he’s very careful not to get involved. He cares more about his work. And I care more about you. You have nothing to worry about, Megan,” she said firmly.

  “I’ll bet you ten bucks he kisses you next time,” Peter said with a look of amusement.

  “You won’t win that one,” she told him. “Besides, who tells you there’ll be a next time? Maybe he had a lousy time and won’t call me.”

  “I doubt it,” Megan said glumly. She could see disaster ready to strike them, in the form of Bill Webster.

  “Thank you for the vote of confidence, Meg. I wouldn’t waste time worrying about it. Besides, I have a trial next week that I’ll have to work on.”

  “Good. You can stay home with us. You don’t need a man, Mom.”

  “Not as long as I have you, is that it, Megan?” But she had to admit, it had been nice being out with Bill, talking about grown-up things and learning about him. There had been just enough of an undercurrent of mutual admiration. They didn’t want anything from each other, they just liked each other, and they’d had a good time. Even if she never heard from him again, Liz told herself, it was nice being with him, and feeling like a woman, and not just a mother. It was nice being with someone who wanted her to have a good time, and was interested in talking and listening to her.

  She sent Megan and Peter off to bed then, and went to bed herself. Jamie was already in her bed, waiting for her. He still slept with her sometimes, and it was nice being in bed with him too. And as she fell asleep beside her child, she wondered if Megan was right, and she didn’t need a man. But she wasn’t quite as convinced as she had been. It had been nearly nine months since she lay beside Jack, and had made love with him. It seemed like an eternity to her now, and for the moment at least, she had no real desire to change that. In her mind, that part of her life was over forever.

  And as he went to sleep that night, Bill Webster was thinking of her, and how much fun she had been. He wasn’t sure what would come of it, but there was no doubt in his mind, he liked her.

  The House On Hope Street

  Chapter 9

  Bill called her again later that week, and invited her to the theater this time. They drove to the city, and had dinner there, and afterwards he came in for a glass of wine, and they talked for a while, about the theater, and books, and she told him about a difficult case she was working on, involving a custody suit and a child she suspected was being abused. She had reported the parents to child protective services, and they had discovered she was right. In some ways, it presented a moral dilemma for her, and she wished that she could represent the child and not the parents.

  “Why can’t you?” he asked matter-of-factly. It seemed so simple to him, but for her it wasn’t.

  “It’s a little more complicated than that. I’d have to be appointed by the court to represent the child, and I wasn’t. I’m considered tainted because I represent the father. And they’re right. It would be a conflict of interest for me to represent the child, although I’d much prefer it to representing her father.”

  “I had a case like that, a kid in the trauma unit who they claimed had been beaten up by a neighbor. They wanted to bring charges against him and they told a very convincing story. I was suitably outraged. Turns out the father was beating the child, and he had brain-damaged her by the time she got to me. There wasn’t a hell of a lot we could do about it. They took the child away from them, once she got out of the hospital, but she begged the judge to go back to them. I was afraid the father would kill her. The judge sent her to foster care for a few months, but eventually the child went back to her parents.”

  “And then what happened?” He had piqued her interest.

  “I don’t know. I lost track of them, which seemed too bad. My work is so immediate and so acute, once people get well, I lose them. It’s the nature of the beast in trauma and emergency. You do what you can in the immediacy of the moment, and then they fade out of your lives.”

  “Don’t you miss having a long-term relationship with your patients?”

  “Not really. I think that’s part of what I like about it. I don’t have to worry about solving problems that aren’t really mine to solve, or can’t be. This way it’s much simpler.” He was clearly someone who didn’t want long-term relationships of any kind. But she liked him in spite of it. And every now and then, when he said things like that, she felt sorry for him. His life, and philosophies, were everything hers weren’t. Everything about her life was long-term and deeply involved. There were clients who stayed in touch with her for years after their divorces. It was just a difference in style, and clearly, she and Bill Webster were very different. But it was equally clear that they liked each other.

  It was late again when he left that night. He sat and talked to her till nearly one o’clock, and he was sorry when he left that he couldn’t stay longer to talk to her. But they both had to get up early the next day. She had to go to court, and he was due on duty at the trauma unit at seven in the morning.

  And Peter had a sly look in his eye when he asked her at breakfast the next day if he’d won his bet.

  “No, you lost this time,” she smiled, and laughed.

  “You mean he didn’t kiss you, Mom?” Peter looked disappointed and Megan made a face of utter outrage.

  “You’re disgusting,” she accused him. “Whose side are you on?”

  “Mom’s,” he said clearly, and then he turned back to his mother. “Would you tell the truth if he did, or would you lie just to win the ten bucks?” He loved teasing her, and she laughed as she made them all pancakes.

  “Peter, how insulting! I have more integrity than to lie to my own flesh and blood to win a bet.” She handed him a plate of pancakes and poured syrup on it.

  “I think you’re lying, Mom,” Peter accused her.

  “I’m not. I told you, we’re just friends, and I like it like that.”

  “Keep it that way, Mom,” Rachel added. Another country heard from. Liz looked at her youngest daughter with interest.

  “When did you get interested in this?”

  “Peter says he likes you, and Meg says you’re going to marry him.” In some ways, she was sophisticated for eleven. She was nearly twelve, but not quite. She had just turned eleven when her father died, and like all of them, she had grown up a lot in the past year, as had their mother.

  “Let me reassure you all,” she said with a broad smile, as they finished their breakfast, “two dinners do not constitute an engagement.”

  “It’s too soon for you to be going out,” Annie added, looking at her sternly.

  “And when do you think it would be appropriate?” her mother asked her with interest.

  “Never,” Megan answered for her younger sister.

  “You’re all nuts,” Peter said, as he got up from the breakfast table. “Mom can do whatever she wants. And Dad w
ould think it’s fine. Dad would be dating by now, if it had happened to Mom instead,” and she realized as she listened that by the grace of God it could have. And she thought Peter’s comment interesting, as she mulled it over on her way to work. Would Jack have been dating by then if she had died instead? She had never thought about it, but she suspected he might. He had a healthy attitude about life, and too much joie de vivre to get buried in a closet, mourning her. Peter was right. Jack probably would have been dating. It made her feel better about seeing Bill Webster.

  He called her in the office that day, and asked her to go to the movies with him again the following weekend. They seemed to be seeing a lot of each other suddenly, and she didn’t mind. She enjoyed him.

  And this time when he came to take her out, Jamie let him in, and brought him up-to-date on the situation.

  “My sisters don’t think you should be taking Mom out. But Peter thinks it’s all right, and so do I. The boys like you, and the girls don’t.” He summed it up for him nicely, and Bill laughed out loud and mentioned it to her on the way to a small French restaurant in Sausalito.

  “Are they really upset that we’re dating?” he asked with interest.

  “Are we?” Liz asked easily. “I thought we were just friends.”

  “Is that what you want, Liz?” he asked her gently. They were at the restaurant by then, and he had just pulled into the parking lot as he turned to look at her. He was anxious to hear how she answered the question.

  “I’m not sure what I want,” she said honestly. “I have a good time with you. This just kind of happened.” It was how he felt as well, but he was beginning to feel more for her than he’d expected. At first, he would have been satisfied to be her friend, but now he wasn’t as sure. He was beginning to think he wanted more from her. But they didn’t press the point any further, as they walked into the restaurant, and stayed off heavy subjects for the rest of the evening.