Ten Times Guilty

by Hill, Brenda

  “Well, come on,” Karr said. “I ain’t got all day. Just plant your lips right over it and suck.” He grabbed hold of her hair and pulled her closer.

  The head of his penis grazed her cheek. She smelled him, smelled his unwashed body and the odor of dried urine.

  She looked up. He was watching her, a curious grin on his face. Slowly, as if willing herself to comply, she reached for his penis and encircled the base.

  “Ah, more like it.” With one hand he braced himself against the thick pine trunk and closed his eyes.

  Slowly, not daring to breathe, she eased the gun out and placed the tip against the ridge just under the head of his penis.

  He waited, then looked down. His eyes widened.

  “What the fuck...”

  “It’s my turn now,” Tracy said, her voice growing stronger. “Now you do as I say.” Carefully, keeping the gun pointed at his genitals, she rose to her feet.

  “No,” he said, losing his erection, “you aren’t going to shoot me. A mousy little thing like you.” He reached down to stuff himself into his pants.

  “I wouldn’t move, if I were you.” Her voice was cold, filled with hatred.

  He heard it and froze. His expression changed, eyes becoming alert, wary. And there was something else. Fear? God, she hoped so.

  “You son of a bitch,” she said in a low voice, “you’ll never touch my son or me again as long as you live.” she said in a low voice. “I’ll make sure of that.” She jammed the tip of the gun against his penis and cocked the hammer. “I’m going to blow it into a million pieces. And then I’m going to put a hole right through your head.”

  He froze, watching her. His eyes cut to the gun. Beads of sweat formed above his eyebrows. His penis withered to a small knob.

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I think that’s obvious. I want you dead.”

  “No,” he whispered. “I’ll go away, leave you alone. I wouldn’t really hurt you or that kid of yours, I was just talking. Please don’t do this.”

  God, how Tracy hated him. She backed up a couple of steps and assumed the spread-leg firing stance she’d seen on TV. She cupped her right hand under the left one holding the gun.

  “Which should I do first?” she asked conversationally, “blast a hole in your head, right between those beady eyes of yours, or...” She lowered the gun to his penis.

  He fell to his knees.

  “Don’t kill me, Tracy, please.” He began to cry. “I’m sorry...please...”

  Tracy watched big, wet tears flow onto his cheeks. Mucus ran from his nose. “You son of a bitch, now you know how it feels.”

  Her finger tightened on the trigger. The gun trembled in her hand.

  “No, don’t hurt me,” Karr cried, “please, don’t hurt me...”

  “Do you really want to do this?” Suzy asked behind her.

  “Yes,” Tracy answered with clenched teeth, not at all surprised to hear Suzy’s voice. He threatened her son, made her beg.

  Her hands shook with all that hatred.

  Still, she didn’t pull the trigger.

  “My God,” she heard Holly whisper.

  Tracy leveled his image in her sights, and her finger tightened on the trigger.

  Still she hesitated.

  “Help me, please,” Karr begged, looking from one woman to the other. “She’s gone crazy.”

  “Is he really worth it, Tracy?” Suzy asked. “Look at him, Tracy, really look.”

  Tracy’s hand trembled violently. Just squeeze the damn trigger, just one shot in the head, no more running, no more being afraid. She had to do this, just one shot.

  Then she saw him. A pathetic, sniveling coward on his knees begging for his life. A worm.

  “Think, Tracy,” Suzy cautioned. “You’ll be taking a human life. Can you live with yourself?”

  “I’m doing it for my child.”

  “Are you, Tracy? Or is this for yourself?”

  Tracy wavered, the gun lowering a fraction of an inch.

  “What will Ritchie do if you’re carted off to jail for murder? He has no one else.”

  Tracy closed her eyes. “Do you have your cell phone?”

  “Always.”

  “Call Reese.”

  Holly walked toward Karr and stood over him. When he raised his head, she hauled back and slapped him as hard as she could. The crack echoed in the night air.

  “What are you doing?” Gail cried. “Are you crazy?”

  “That sonofabitch is my father.”

  ***

  When Reese took Suzy’s call he was astonished. Tracy, the Tracy Michaels he knew, had Karr at gunpoint? He also felt proud. However the hell she’d managed to do it, and right now he wouldn’t ask questions, she had him.

  But no way could he allow Tracy to kill him.

  Now he had to convince her.

  “Put Tracy on,” he told Suzy, grabbing his keys and running out the door. When Tracy took the phone, her voice was curiously calm, but Reese heard an undertone of hysteria. He recognized the tone, common with police officers on their first arrest. But he had to talk her down. No matter how bad he wanted Karr dead, he didn’t want Tracy to live with murder. Which was what it would be under the circumstances.

  He also knew that if he had Karr alone in a deserted park, he would just put a hole in the bastard’s head.

  He plopped the siren on the hood of his car and sped through city streets.

  “Tracy, just put the gun down. I’m on my way.”

  “I’m not letting him go, Reese.”

  He had never heard that note of determination in her voice before. And, he had never heard her call him Reese.

  “The officers will be there in three minutes,” he told her. “Just keep calm. I’ll be there in five.”

  “Why shouldn’t I shoot? You know we both want him dead.”

  In the background, Reese heard Suzy talking to Holly, both with raised voices. “What the hell’s going on there?”

  Tracy told him about Holly. “He’s a worthless bastard and I’m going to save the taxpayers some money.” Now he could hear the weariness in her voice. “And I’m going to make sure he never threatens my son again.”

  Think, Reese, what could he say to stop her?

  “Tracy, could you live with yourself if you killed someone?” He spun the car onto Pleasant and Vine. “Believe me, honey, it’s a lot different in real life than on TV or the movies.” He kept his voice calm and steady.

  “He’s threatened my son. That’s all I’m thinking about.” She paused. “My arm’s getting tired, Reese. I want this over with so I can go home.”

  Fuck. The hell of it was, he couldn’t blame her. But the image of snapping cuffs on Tracy seared his brain. He had to get there in time.

  “Reese, I can’t let him live. Not now.”

  “Listen to me, Tracy. If you shoot now, you’ll be up on a murder charge. Unless Suzy commits perjury, she’ll have to testify you shot Karr when he was no longer a threat. If she lies on the stand for you, what happens if Holly tells the truth? Do you want her to perjure herself? And Suzy would be ruined, possibly even sent to prison. Do you want that?”

  Tracy said nothing.

  Please, Reese begged. “Hang on, Tracy, we’re almost there.” He sped through the last intersection before the park. Ahead, three patrol cars screeched to a stop by the playground and another careened around the block.

  “Okay, we’re all here.” Reese shot out of the car and headed for the pond, the uniformed officers following with weapons drawn.

  After a lifetime, she said the sweet words he’d prayed for.

  “Okay, Reese. You can have him.”

  ***

  Four police cars threw red and blue revolving lights into the branches of park trees. From the radios a monotone female dispatcher competed with bursts of static. Across the street, residents jammed the sidewalk, whispering to each other as they watched the arrest. Traffic slowed on the boulevard until an officer w
ith a glowing flashlight forced the curious to keep moving.

  Reese’s blue Wagoneer sat next to the curb. He stood by the open rear door, his arms around Tracy, her handgun, emptied of bullets, safely in his pocket. Suzy stood next to them, her arm around Holly.

  Twenty feet away, Haggerty held a subdued Karr while Parrish cuffed him. A female officer aimed a flashlight on the prisoner and they hustled him toward a patrol car. Another officer trailed, quoting the Miranda rule.

  Tracy planted herself in front of Karr and waited until he met her eyes.

  “Look around you, you son of a bitch. I have connections.”

  He flushed, then stumbled as the officers pushed him around her.

  Tracy stood watching as the patrol car took him away. After a few words with Reese, the remaining officers followed.

  Tracy leaned her head against Reese’s chest and closed her eyes. He saw tears for the first time tonight.

  “It’s over,” he soothed, “it’s all over. He won’t bother you ever again.”

  He helped her into the back of the car. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

  Reese motioned to Suzy and walked a few feet away from Holly.

  “That was a damn fool thing to do,” he said, his voice furious. “You should have called 911 as soon as you found out what was happening. I could have your license for that.”

  “Yes, I know.” Exhaustion weakened her voice. “We all have choices to make, and I made mine. A gamble, really, but nothing could have happened. We were right there all the time.”

  “Well that sure eases my mind.”

  “Reese, she had to do this. She had to face him. It was the only way she could go on with her life.”

  “Shit,” he mumbled, staring off into the park. “All right, I won’t file it, this time. But don’t ever pull a stunt like this again. What if he’d taken the gun from her? He could’ve used it on all of you.”

  “You’re absolutely right. We’re all lucky it turned out the way it did. But right now, I’m kind of tired and I’d like to go home.”

  Reese shook his head. “I’ll take you all home. I just have one more thing to do.” He walked to the car. “Where did you get the gun?” he asked Tracy.

  “I found it somewhere.” She kept her eyes closed.

  “You found a loaded handgun lying around a safe house,” Reese repeated. His gaze found Holly. “I think I’ll ask a certain young woman.”

  “Don’t bother her now, Reese. She has enough to deal with. Besides, she didn’t have a thing to do with it.”

  Reese shook his head. If he knew Tracy at all, he knew she would never turn in a friend. And Tracy was right; the kid had enough right now trying to deal with Karr.

  A grey Volvo pulled in front of the park and screeched to a stop in front of the Wagoneer. Cooper threw open the door and emerged, neatly dressed in a three-piece pantsuit. Her glance took in the women by the car, rested briefly on Tracy and finally lighted onto Reese.

  “Why the hell didn’t you call me? This was supposed to be my case.”

  “You’re absolutely right, I should have.”

  Staring in fury at Reese, she shook her head and walked over to Tracy. She leaned down to the window.

  “I’m glad it worked out for you.”

  Tracy stared straight ahead, then turned and met Cooper’s gaze. Silently, she stared at her, then turned her head.

  Cooper blanched, then straightened and walked slowly back to Reese.

  “I’ll see you at the station,” she said, her voice quiet. She walked back to her car, got in and drove away. Reese watched until the red taillights disappeared from view.

  He helped Suzy and Holly into the car and drove to the safe house. Suzy kept a comforting arm around Holly. Everyone was quiet.

  Reese pulled up to the garage and assisted everyone out except Tracy.

  “I’d like to talk to you if you don’t mind waiting.” After escorting the women inside, he returned to the car.

  “What are you going to do now?”

  That was a good question, Tracy thought. What was she going to do?

  “I’m going home.”

  Chapter Forty

  A week later, Tracy sat in Mr. Madden’s office, waiting for him to return from overseeing some emergency concerning the day’s menu. For some reason she had expected things to look different, to be different. But everything was the same. The black metal desk, the sofa, and the safe in the corner.

  The safe. That’s where it had all begun, the night she had come here, frantic because she was afraid she had not put the money away.

  But no, it actually began years ago, when she had been so intimidated by someone that she had stopped thinking for herself. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. She supposed it was.

  Carrie popped in to say hello, her silver bracelets jangling. “Hey, glad to see you,” she said. “You coming back to work?”

  “I hope so.”

  “Shouldn’t be any problem. I’ll give you another reading.”

  “Thanks,” Tracy said, smiling, “but I’ll make my own future.”

  A few minutes later, Mr. Madden returned and took his seat behind the desk. “Sorry about that,” he said smiling and folding his hands on the desk. “Just another one of our minor catastrophes. Now. Are you sure you can handle a job after all that’s happened?”

  “I have to,” Tracy told him. “There’s no alternative.”

  “But you’ve been through so much. I just think it’s too soon for you to concentrate on work.”

  Tracy leaned back in the chair, surprised at how calm she felt. Not too long ago she would have been defensive and all her determination would have crumbled if someone voiced doubts about her ability. Now, she was the best one for the position and she had enough confidence to tell him. That was the difference. It wasn’t the desk, the couch, or the safe. It was her.

  “I appreciate your concern, but I can’t sit home any longer. It’s been a while since this all started and I have bills to pay. Rent, plus my son and I have to eat.”

  “I admire your determination, but...”

  “Mr. Madden, I have to work. That’s it. I’m comfortable with this job and you know I’ll do it correctly. I’m dependable, and I don’t dip my fingers into the till. That counts for a great deal, as you’ve mentioned several times. But if you’re not comfortable with having me here because of what’s happened, I understand. Just say the word and I’ll find something else.”

  “No, no, Tracy, everything you’ve said is true. I’ll be glad to have you back. You might even find a little extra in your paycheck.” He rose from his chair to shake her hand. “Welcome, back. I know all the crew will be happy to see you again. When can you start?”

  Even though she had felt confident with the interview, Tracy still blinked away sudden tears. She had fought for something and she won.

  ***

  It had been quite a week. Tracy moved back into her small apartment, delighted that it was all hers. After being in the hospital and the safe house, she savored the privacy of her own home.

  Reese had stopped by, asking how she was doing. As he stood, clearly ill at ease in the small apartment, she realized she’d lost her fear of him.

  After Diana and Greg offered again to help her get a car, Tracy gratefully accepted, and now she was the proud owner of a five-year-old blue Toyota Corolla that needed a paint job. But Greg checked it out and pronounced it dependable. And it was hers. Well, it would be, after she made payments for two years.

  ***

  Reese stopped by the museum. Instead of a suit he wore a navy blue sport coat and white pullover shirt over jeans.

  “Hello, Tracy.” He saw dark rings under her eyes that she couldn’t quite hide with make-up. “A little soon to go back to work, isn’t it?”

  “I had to.”

  He was moved by her simple statement. No whining, no pleas for help from the system. He wished he could walk away and leave her with some peace and security, but ther
e were some things she had to face.

  “I’d like to talk to you. It’s important.”

  “Sit down.” She indicated the delicate settee behind him, but he was afraid it would buckle under his weight. He looked around for somewhere else to sit and see anything that looked comfortable.

  “Look, aren’t you about through for the night?”

  She nodded.

  “Have you eaten?”

  She shook her head.

  “I’m starved. How much longer until you can leave?”

  She glanced at the big clock over the door. “In about ten minutes.”

  “Do you like Chinese?”

  “Love it.”

  “There’s a good place down the street. Delicious food and plenty of it.”

  ***

  A half hour later, while they were waiting to be served, Tracy looked around.

  The restaurant was small, with red vinyl booths along the walls and tables in the middle. Mirrors covered the back wall from the top of the booths to the ceiling, which made the place seem much bigger. The only oriental touches were red dragon wall plaques and twangy music playing over the speakers in each corner of the room. But it was warm and cozy, and she was happy to be there.

  She finished her survey.

  “Do you like it?” he asked with amusement.

  “Yes, and thank you. This is quite a treat for me.”

  “Glad to see you’ve recovered. At least physically.”

  “It’s a good start, I’m told.”

  He nodded. “How are you doing? Are you getting on with your life?”

  “I’m trying.”

  He took her hand. “You’re to be commended,” he said. “You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve hung in there and you haven’t given up.”

  Listening to him, Tracy felt the sting of tears. Trying not to cry, her gaze fastened on her small hand, enclosed so gently in his. How safe and protected this extraordinary man made her feel. Her fingers curled around his, then let go.

  The waitress brought plate after plate of colorful, beautifully arranged food.