Wolfe, She Cried

by Addison, Bliss

  If she had come upon this wisdom without regret, it would be. “I hear you’re retired. How’s that going?”

  “I’m loving it. I enlarged the garden and took up fishing. There’s good money in seafood, you know.”

  Not that they needed it. Dan worked as hospital administrator for years and would be getting a healthy pension. She chuckled. “Somehow, I can’t see you as a fisherman.”

  “I’m not much of one, to tell you the truth.” He leaned in closer as though to divulge a dark secret. “They call me the codfather.”

  She laughed out loud. It felt so good to be home, which was how she thought of the Wolfe house.

  “How’re your parents? We haven’t seen much of them lately.”

  “Good.” She guessed. “You know them, busy as ever.”

  Dan nodded. “Yes, not too much stops Felicia and Harrison.” His tone turned wistful. “You broke our hearts when you left. We thought you and Simon…”

  Yes, everyone thought they would marry one day, herself included. She turned toward the doorway at the sound of Simon’s voice.

  “Pa, are you matchmaking again?”

  “I never give up on a worthwhile cause.”

  Simon sat beside her and draped his arm across the sofa back. “Where were you last night? I called after getting home, but there was no answer.”

  She squinted, puzzled. “I didn’t hear ...” Then she remembered. “Oh, maybe I was outside with Bear.”

  “Who’s Bear?” Dan asked.

  “My pet skunk.”

  “Skunk?” He chuckled. “Descented, I hope.”

  Evie laughed. “Of course. I found her wandering around in the back yard, looking lost and alone. Her mother must have abandoned her.”

  “You were always taking in wounded birds and stray animals as a youngster.”

  Simon played with the ends of her hair.

  Dan grinned at them. “You two were meant to be together.”

  The man was incorrigible. Evie knew he would never let up on them. He wanted his son with her.

  In the silence that followed Evie relived the night of her graduation from the police academy. She would never forget the hurt in Simon’s eyes when she told him she accepted a position with the Concord Police Department. Just for the experience, she had said, promising to visit often and return to Honeydale and him in a year or two. She never kept either promise.

  “Dinner is ready,” Keertana sang from the doorway.

  They filed into the dining room.

  Evie took her usual seat across from Simon. Dan said grace, thanking the Lord for the food on the table and for returning Evie to them. A lump formed in her throat. Why had she wanted to leave this family who thought so much of her?

  She ate with a ravenous appetite. Throughout dinner they swapped stories. It soon became a game of one-upmanship. After dinner, they went into the living room. Evie rummaged through her purse for a stick of gum. Coming up empty, she looked up. All eyes were on her. She smiled. “I gave up smoking. I was looking for something to nibble on.”

  “How long has it been?” Keertana asked.

  “Six months.”

  She patted her hand. “Good for you, dear.” She looked at Dan. “Smoking is a disgusting habit.”

  Dan held his arms wide at his sides. “What? I don’t smoke. I gave them up, remember?”

  “I suppose next you’ll be telling me the package hidden under the blankets in the barn belongs to one of the horses?”

  “It’s not mine.”

  “And how about the pint of whiskey laying next to the cigarettes?” She turned to Evie. “Men think women are deaf and blind with no sense of smell.”

  Evie smiled at their animated faces. They hadn’t changed. The playful teasing, the open admiration, the love and respect they held for each other was as apparent to her today as when she was a child. She wished her parents were as loving. Why couldn’t they be more like them? Maybe her life would be different today.

  Simon crossed his legs. “I thought I smelled whiskey and tobacco off Nightwing’s breath the other day when I took him out to the south pasture to check the fence. That solves that mystery.”

  Keertana turned to Evie. “See what I have to put up with? It is a travesty, is it not?”

  Evie grinned. “It certainly is.”

  Dan cleared his throat. “Speaking of mysteries, son, how’s the murder investigation going? What have you got so far?”

  “Not too much.” Simon told him what he learned from Miller’s boss. “Which almost amounts to nada.”

  Keertana stood. “I will leave you to your shop talk and clean up the kitchen.”

  Evie made a move to stand but Keertana waved her back down. “It will only take me a couple of minutes.”

  Dan watched her leave, then turned to Simon. “Miller was a real pillar of the community, huh?”

  “Appears so.”

  “Sounds too good to be true.”

  Simon uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “You’re right there. Miller had sex before he died, and since his wife’s alibi checks out, it wasn’t with her.”

  Dan shook his head. “Hell of a way for her to find out she wasn’t the only woman in her husband’s life. Where was he murdered?”

  “In the back seat of his Honda Accord. We found it abandoned behind the old warehouse on Pine Street.”

  Dan stared into space for a moment. “Fingerprints?”

  “None. The car was wiped clean.”

  “Strange, considering the DNA evidence left behind.”

  “That’s assuming the woman he had sex with and the killer are the same,” Evie said.

  Dan frowned. “You think they’re not?”

  Simon shook his head. “We don’t know what to think at this point.”

  “How about his family? Any help there?”

  “None.”

  Evie smiled, remembering how Simon always talked cases over with his father. She wanted to be a part of this family again, but she was unworthy of them now. They would be disappointed in her if they knew what she had done.

  The regret and the sorrow built slowly. Within a minute, her vision blurred and she sobbed. Jumping up, she cupped a hand over her mouth, and ran from the house.

  Simon caught up to her in the driveway. “Evie, what is it? What’s the matter?”

  She shook her head, avoided his eyes and continued toward her car.

  “I’m sorry about how Pa carried on tonight. He means well. It’s just that he’s had certain expectations where we’re concerned.”

  “I…I know.” She wanted to tell him he misinterpreted the reason why she left, but couldn’t.

  He stepped closer to her. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Talk about what?”

  “About what happened in Concord that makes you so sad.”

  She’d suspected Simon knew she hid something from him, but this was the first time he questioned her about it. “It’s nothing. I’ll get over it.”

  “Talking about it will help.”

  Why did everyone think that? Nothing could ease her guilt or shame. She forced a smile. “I’ll be fine.” At his skeptical expression, she added, “I will, really. I just need some time.” Discomfited by the intensity of his gaze, she looked away.

  “It was like old times tonight, wasn’t it?”

  Her smile came naturally. “Yes, it was.” Though she hadn’t thought so, she’d needed it, needed to feel loved, needed to feel a part of a family again. She experienced all of those things tonight. He opened the car door for her and she slipped behind the wheel.

  “If you need anything, Evie, anything at all, call.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

  A sob escaped her throat. He was too wonderful. Never once since her return had he criticized her for leaving him practically standing at the altar, for breaking his heart, for smashing his dreams of a life with her. Instead, he treated her with kindness, respect and love and wanted to help her.
He was too good for her. She didn’t deserve him or his love. She started the car, yanked the gear shift into reverse and sped backward down the driveway.

  Chapter Nine

  Staci Gardner loved changed and especially loved to spice up life. Tonight she wore a red wig and green tinted contact lenses. She clasped the railing of the ferry and looked back at the island with loathing. A gust of wind swept her long, withering sigh into the darkness. Being without her own transportation sucked, but she couldn’t afford a car right now. Her roommate would have loaned hers, but she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of asking. Besides, she already felt indebted enough to her, giving her a place to crash and meals until she got on her feet.

  One step at a time, Staci. You have to break the cord that keeps you dependent on your roommate slowly, otherwise you might end up making a decision you’ll regret.

  She turned her back to the wind, cupped her hand around the lighter and lit her third cigarette of the last thirty minutes. Inhaling a lungful of smoke, she checked her watch. The lights on the mainland drew nearer. She wished the old tugboat would pick up speed. A night away from her prissy roommate was just what she needed. Maybe she’d get lucky tonight, hopefully luckier than the other night. A bitter disappointment, he was. A real dud. Not smiling anymore, are you, big guy?

  Chapter Ten

  Dan woke the following morning in an empty bed. “Keertana?” He looked around the room, then at the clock. 5:45. She often rose early, but he knew the reason for it this particular morning. Evie’d worried her last night.

  “Do you not feel it?” she’d asked as they retired last evening. “Do you not see how she suffers? Heartache and guilt consume her. Like the seasons, she changes. We must do something about it before our daughter is lost to us forever.”

  Concern for Evie’s well-being and state of mind awakened her twice through the night.

  Like Keertana, he wanted Simon and Evie together, but unlike his wife, the relationship worried him. If it didn’t work out for them again, Simon might not recover this time.

  Dan hopped out of bed and donned jeans, a flannel shirt and moccasins.

  In the pre-dawn light, he peered through the kitchen window and spied his wife sitting cross-legged in the clearing surrounded by oak and spruce trees. She wore a two-piece dress crafted from buckskin embroidered with beads and decorated with porcupine quills and ribbons in reds and yellows. A beaded band encircled her head. Her ebony hair flowed straight to her waist. A fire burned in a rock pit before her.

  He took enormous pride in her commitment to her culture and her gift of foretelling, prophecy and healing. In the first years of their marriage, he hadn’t fully understood or appreciated the nuances of her heritage. With a tender and loving patience, she helped him understand. Even still, her chants and methodical manner of rituals never failed to fascinate him.

  The air, resplendent with the scent of late fall and smoldering timber, rushed at him when he stepped onto the deck. The brook at the end of their property, filled with autumn rain, gurgled its way past.

  “Iptjilaasi, {Welcome}. Have you come to pray with me, husband?” Keertana fed the fire birch bark and sage, sacred offerings to the Great Spirit.

  “I have.”

  “Join me, then. Together we will pray for the cleansing of our daughter.”

  Dan sat cross-legged and recited the Lord’s Prayer with her: “Noochenen’ tan wasõk à umun, ukwesoonum nikskamawadastch. Uktelegawitawoodim egaach ...ijapchoo. Amen.”

  A breeze shuffled the branches of the trees and rustled fallen leaves.

  “Evil spirits fight for her soul, husband. Wju’sniktuk wet-nutmann {I hear them from the wind}.”

  He nodded, letting his gaze drift around the familiar surroundings. “I hear them, also.”

  She looked up at the crow circling above them. “Ka ’qaquj. It is not a good sign.”

  In spite of his faith in Keertana’s gift to make all things right with their loved ones and to keep them safe, his skin prickled. He knew the superstition regarding crows and did not care to associate them with his darling daughter.

  The crow cawed, announcing death.

  No, his heart cried. Evie could not die. He looked at Keertana’s face. Color bled from her cheeks, leaving her skin a pale shade of tan, yet her expression seemed determined. She raised her hands into the air and prayed. Suddenly, she shrieked, “No.” The word more deadly than a spear through his heart echoed in the stillness, coming back to Dan like a ghostly lament. Keertana had seen the darkness of Evie’s heart. At that moment, he became aware of the depth of their daughter’s anguish and sufferings. The realization pierced his soul. He squeezed his eyes closed from the feeling, but the image of Evie experiencing pain at someone’s hand remained clear. Opening his eyes, he forced his heart to an even rhythm, but said nothing.

  “Her torment must be stopped. Her soul must be purged. If it is not, it means certain death for our daughter.” Keertana placed a hand over Dan’s heart. “Take from your strength, husband, and send it to her. We must pray that what is slowly destroying her dies. Look to the east and will the rising sun to protect her.”

  He turned and stared. Perhaps it was her hypnotic voice or a trick of light, but the horizon seemed to burn brighter, more brilliant than usual. An eternity seemed to pass. The wind lessened and the crimson sun rose higher, spreading its warmth and light across the hills and in that instant, sunrise became day.

  Keertana closed her eyes and murmured indistinguishable words under her breath. Her eyes fluttered beneath closed lids. She sank into a trance. Several minutes passed before she opened her eyes and turned to him. “Ta’njiw na ‘kuset ne ‘a ‘sij kmtnikuk, aqwela ‘ku a ‘sikikwej kejkwapniaq {When the sun appears from the mountain, and the night meets the sunrise}, our daughter will begin her long journey home.” She raised her hands heavenward and chanted, “Giil elmjln, Piloqutinnguaq. {You are coming home, Little Leaf}.

  “The Gji-nisgam, the Great Spirit, will protect our daughter, husband.”

  Chapter Eleven

  In the darkness of her dream, Evie squinted, attempting to see through the pitch-black. Where was she? How did she get here? Her heart beat erratic, like an out-of-sync windup toy. She didn’t want to be here, wherever this was, and fought the covers on her bed, her legs punting, her arms slashing the air.

  “You don’t deserve to live! You don’t deserve Simon! Happiness will never be yours!” She recognized the voice as her own.

  Dozens of crows emerged from the darkness. They descended upon her, pecking at her eyes and tugging at her body. She fell backward. “Get away from me! Get away!” Her body wracked with pain. She cried out, kicking and swatting.

  The dream twinkled and someone formed at her side. The birds lifted their heads, their beady eyes staring intently at the interloper. They cawed and flapped their wings, a sound so loud she covered her ears. After a moment, they flew off. Fingers caressed her cheek. The light, tender, loving touch of a woman who loved her. Evie looked beyond the hand and had a glimpse, a second of clear vision, of a smiling face, one she thought she should recognize but couldn’t place.

  “Shh,” the woman said. “Light and goodness will come. You will see.”

  Warmth, such as Evie had never before experienced, settled over her. She relaxed against the pillows and dreamed of a lush meadow filled with wildflowers. The sun warmed her face, a gentle breeze mussed her hair. She strolled through the tall grass and came upon a towering oak tree. Simon sprang from behind the trunk and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off the ground. Laughing, she insisted he put her down that instant! He found her mouth instead and kissed her. They tumbled onto the ground. He kissed her neck, her face, her fingers…

  She woke, smiling. Throwing off the covers, she shivered in the cool temperature of the cottage and climbed out of bed. After building a fire in the wood stove in the living room, she put water to boil for tea. Early morning sun streamed through the window. She rubbed her eyes. Her hea
d and body ached. Images of the nightmare barged into her consciousness like an unwelcome visitor. Gaston said the nightmares would stop once she forgave herself. If she had been forgiven, would forgiveness come more easily?

  Some nights, sleep didn’t come to her at all. Sleeplessness was not uncommon with depression Gaston told her. A sleep aid? he asked. No. No, drugs. No, dependency. She needed to feel. Remorse was her penance for what she’d done. People did things they regretted, but that didn’t make them bad people, did it? Perhaps it did. The possibility that this could be true disheartened her. Within a moment, she sobbed for her mistakes, for the choices she made, for hurting the people she loved. Her collapse into self-pity shattered what little resolve she’d mustered and the few forward steps she’d managed toward putting the pieces of her life back together.

  The following morning, as Evie drove past Stella Maris church on her way for coffee, she stared at the stone structure and the stained glass windows, remembering how much the building had always fascinated her. As a child, her parents brought her to this very church every Sunday for as many years as she could remember. Then one day, they stopped, as though Felicia and Harrison had suddenly become atheists.

  On impulse, she pulled into a parking space, hopped out of her car and ran into the church. A calmness settled over her. Welcoming the feeling, she took a pew and prayed with reverence and humility, the words slipping from her lips as easily as they had as a child. She steepled her fingers beneath her chin, bowed her head and closed her eyes.

  God, I know you can hear me. Constance’s lost her way and desperately needs your help. Please make her understand I didn’t know he was married. Help her before she does something she won’t be able to live with.

  The liturgy heartened her and imparted a sense of security—a commodity of minute proportions for her lately. She left the church, feeling like God’s child reborn. Maybe she was. Maybe from this moment on her life would begin anew. If that were the case, she promised to make the most of this one.