A Father for Her Son (Medical Romance)

by Rebecca Lang

  Restlessly, she went to the small laundry room where she kept Finn’s stroller and pushed it out to the sitting room, then collected warm rugs from a cupboard and his outdoor clothes. She got her own outdoor clothes ready and her boots. When under mental stress, she had found over the years that it was good to go for a brisk walk, especially to commune with nature, so that she could think more clearly, the physical activity somehow defusing the mental turmoil somewhat.

  ‘Come on, Finn,’ she said, ‘we’re going for a walk in the park, then we’re going to the shops to buy something for supper.’

  ‘See pets?’ he said.

  ‘Yes, we’ll go by the pet shop,’ she promised. Finn would like to have a kitten, but he was too young to know how to handle one.

  It was good to get out in the fresh, crisp air, to walk at a brisk pace, pushing the stroller with Finn in it.

  ‘Duck pond?’ he said.

  ‘We’ll go by there,’ she promised, ‘but I think some of the ducks may have flown away for the winter to a warmer place. Then they’ll come back when it’s warmer, in the spring.’

  As Anna walked, the cold air helping to clarify her thoughts, she knew then how frightening it could be to have your desires realised or, put another way, having success in what you’d said you wanted. Maybe that was why some people behaved in such a way as to sabotage themselves—and made that a habitual mode of behaviour. Fate, as well as the consequences of her own efforts, she could say, had called her bluff and now she felt herself with a sense of panic greater than anything she had experienced before. Now the final truth would come out. She would find out eventually what had happened to Simon, and also discover whether he had ever intended to have a permanent relationship with her, marriage or otherwise.

  Events were moving along at least partially out of her control. She could withdraw from it all perhaps, but had elicited the help of several people, and if she did not go forward now the remaining mystery of this story in which she found herself would tantalise her for the rest of her life.

  Even in this sense of panic she knew there was no alternative but to go forward.

  * * *

  For two hours they walked, first in the park then along a street of shops, where Anna took Finn into a familiar café where she could get good coffee for herself and hot chocolate for him after they had been to the pet shop. Half her mind was on the dilemma of Simon. What if he wanted nothing to do with her, or Finn? Perhaps with Hector Smythe and Seth acting as go-betweens for her, she might never have to confront that issue on her own.

  Finn was asleep, swathed in rugs in the stroller, when she pushed him quietly through the pink door of her basement flat. Just as she shut the door, the telephone rang, and she ran to answer it so that it would not wake Finn.

  ‘Hector Smythe again.’

  ‘Oh, hello.’

  ‘I’ve more news, Ms Grey,’ he said. ‘Dr Ruelle has been very busy on our behalf. I’ve just had a lengthy conversation with him, in which he informed me that he’s made contact with the family.’

  Anna’s chest felt suddenly tight. ‘Oh…that’s amazing.’

  ‘He’s actually spoken to someone on the telephone in Cape Town, Simon’s sister, Sophie. She seemed willing to talk to Seth, after he had established his credentials and they talked about the extended family. He said, in fact, that she seemed very relieved to be able to unburden herself to him, as apparently she has been responsible for Simon for some time,’ Hector Smythe said.

  ‘Responsible?’

  ‘You must prepare yourself to be strong. Simon was indeed involved in an accident. It happened in Boston when he went there to visit his sick mother, all that time ago,’ he said.

  ‘Oh…Oh, dear.’

  ‘Seth has suggested to me that he should be the one to tell you the story, as he has all the information from the sister,’ Hector Smythe said. ‘I think that’s a good idea, so that I don’t have to repeat it all and maybe forget some of the details. He would like you to call him. I have the number here.’

  ‘Dr Ruelle…did say once that he might not necessarily divulge information to me,’ she said. ‘It looks as though he’s changed his mind.’

  ‘Oh, yes. Now he knows that there definitely has been an accident, it’s a different story.’ He gave her Seth’s telephone number. ‘That’s his office number and he wants you to call him there as soon as possible.’

  ‘Thank you so much, Mr Smythe,’ she said breathlessly. ‘After I’ve spoken to Dr Ruelle, what’s the next move for us?’

  ‘Dr Ruelle will tell you. Apparently the family is seriously thinking of emigrating to western Canada.’

  ‘Oh…It’s all happening so quickly.’

  ‘Yes, it often is that way, once you get a few definite clues. You call Dr Ruelle now, Ms Grey, then I’ll call you later in the day so that we can have a chat about how things went and to plan the next moves.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Carefully she removed her outdoor clothing and got herself a drink of juice from the fridge before she was able to summon up the courage to punch in the number of Seth’s office.

  ‘Dr Ruelle’s office,’ the suave voice of his receptionist answered, so that Anna had a mental image of the attractive woman.

  Quickly she was put through to him.

  ‘Seth, it’s Anna Grey. I…I understand that you have some information for me, that you would like to talk to me in person.’

  ‘Yes, Anna. Could I come over to see you now?’

  ‘Over here? Well, y-yes,’ she stammered. ‘Is it…is it bad news?’ Her voice lowered on the final syllables as she felt herself wanting to cry.

  ‘Yes and no. Simon was indeed in an accident, but he’s able to work, after a fashion. He has all his mental faculties. I’ve spoken to his sister.’ His voice was gentle. ‘I prefer to tell you face to face…it will be easier for both of us.’

  ‘All right.’

  ‘I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.’

  ‘Thank you…for all you’ve done.’ She hung up quickly, feeling her throat close up and her eyes fill with tears.

  She decided to leave Finn in his stroller, to push it into his bedroom and let him sleep on while she listened to what Seth had to say. Then she brushed her hair and made coffee. A kind of strange calm came over her as she moved about, performing tasks. So Simon had been found. In a way her faith in him had been vindicated, the faith that he would not willingly have disappeared out of her life. A deep thankfulness for that vindication filled her.

  On cue, Seth arrived. She watched for his car being parked on the street, then opened the door to wait for him. When he came in, she was immediately struck by how tired he looked, pale and haggard. His presence calmed her. ‘Hi.’ He smiled at her, shrugging out of his coat. ‘How are you taking the news?’

  ‘The relief is tremendous, on the one hand. Then, on the other hand, I’m sort of sick with apprehension about the accident that he’s had. Will you have some coffee? I’ve made some,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m hoping we can say all there is to say while Finn is asleep. We just went for a long walk. And thank you for coming, for taking time away from your office.’

  ‘I’d appreciate some coffee.’ He followed her into the kitchen. ‘I’ve become as obsessed as you are, Anna, to get all this sorted out.’

  ‘I’m sorry…for you,’ she said. ‘But not sorry for myself that you’re doing it. I’m more grateful than I can say.’

  Nonetheless, as she moved about her tasks, she was very conscious of a strange and unexpected sense of panic in her that Simon had been found. What was all that about? Her chest and throat felt tight with something like hysteria.

  With mugs of coffee in front of them, they sat at the kitchen table.

  ‘I’ve made contact with a Sophie Ruelle, who is Simon’s sister, in Cape Town, through a few old medical contacts I have there,’ Seth said, without preamble. ‘I told her I wanted to find members of my extended family, and that Simon’s former colleagues in Gr
esham had been wondering where he was…how he was.’ He took a swallow of coffee, looking at Anna, who sat on the other side of the small table. He was obviously weighing his words very carefully, and she felt a sense of dread that was very familiar. ‘To get right to the point, he’s there, living with her.’

  Anna swallowed painfully, clasping her hands together, looking fearfully at the man in front of her, the sense of ambivalence and panic increasing. ‘Tell me about the accident,’ she said, her voice barely audible.

  ‘Yes, I will. First of all, I want to apologise to you for doubting your interpretation of events for a while,’ he said, leaning towards her. ‘Your intuition served you well.’ To her surprise, he reached forward and squeezed her clasped hands for a few seconds, which had the effect of calming her. ‘Take it easy.’

  Anna nodded, her eyes filling with tears, and she found that she could not look at him as she kept her eyes down, fixed on the mug of coffee in front of her.

  ‘I’ll tell you what Sophie told me,’ Seth said. ‘It’s rather like a jig-saw puzzle, with a few bits still missing. As you know, Simon went to Boston to visit his mother, who was in a hospital there. He stayed at a friend’s apartment who was out of the country for six months. The friend had told him he could use it at any time, had given him a key. He arrived in Boston late in the evening, too late to see his mother, apparently, as there is no record that he visited the hospital. Early in the morning he got up and went for a run, jogging around several blocks. When out, he was hit by a car while crossing a street. He was taken to hospital, unconscious, where it was found that he had no ID on him. All he had was a door key, with no indication of an address.’

  ‘Oh, poor Simon,’ Anna whispered, closing her eyes tightly, as tears squeezed beneath her lids. So many times in her imagination she had seen such a scenario.

  ‘He was unconscious for several days, then when he regained consciousness he could not remember his name or where he lived. While all this was going on his mother died, was cremated and her ashes shipped to South Africa.’ Seth’s voice went on softly, relentlessly, as though he wanted to articulate all that he knew while the details of the story were sharp in his mind.

  Anna was crying openly now, unable to help herself. She put her hands over her face.

  ‘He did eventually remember his name and where he was staying. He also discovered that he was paralysed from the waist down from a spinal injury where the vehicle had hit him. He also had a head injury.’

  Seth handed her a handkerchief from his pocket, which she used to cover her eyes.

  ‘He spent quite a while in that hospital. When it was time for him to be discharged, his sister came to get him from South Africa to take him home with her. He was in a wheelchair and suffering from depression because he thought his career was over, among other things. He had wanted to be a surgeon, as you know…was a surgeon.’

  Anna nodded and sobbed into the handkerchief.

  ‘The subsequent severe depression was probably responsible for the fact that he did not contact you, or a lot of other people. He had, fairly early on, contacted his boss in Gresham to let him know that he would not be back. Sophie told me that he was so depressed that they thought he was suicidal and did not leave him alone for many months.’

  ‘Oh, dear…what an awful thing,’ Anna whispered despairingly. ‘Did he…? Does he…say anything about me?’

  ‘Sophie mentioned that Simon had had a girlfriend, but he refused to have her—you—contacted because he felt he was of no use to anybody, least of all to you. She didn’t press the issue, not knowing your name. Had they known you were pregnant, I imagine it would have been a different story.’

  Seth stood up, large in the tiny kitchen. ‘May I help myself to more coffee?’

  Anna nodded, taking some swallows of her own coffee, which had lost a lot of its heat. Seth filled his mug and replenished hers as well. ‘It’s a sad story,’ he said, leaning back against the counter. ‘Sophie told me that he’s working with a surgeon who does hand surgery, microsurgery on hand trauma cases. It’s something he can do sitting down. He can’t walk, of course.’

  Anna looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. ‘Is that it?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, more or less.’

  ‘I’m relieved to know,’ she whispered. ‘Thank you for telling me…for all that you’ve done. It’s a relief to know, but so sad. Simon had everything to live for. He was so young, so vibrant…intelligent and talented.’

  Seth put down his coffee and moved the short space in her direction, putting out both his hands. Automatically she took them and he pulled her to her feet and folded her in his arms. Numbed by sadness, coupled with a tremendous relief that Simon was alive, she went willingly. With her head against his chest, they stood and waited while she tried to compose herself. It felt so good to be held by him, to be comforted. She felt no self-consciousness, it seemed perfectly natural.

  She pressed the ball of his sodden handkerchief against each eye in turn. A stirring of longing began within her, to be wanted and loved, to have someone to share with, even this grief—especially this grief.

  ‘Sorry to be the bearer of such news,’ he said softly.

  ‘Rather you than someone else. I have to be honest and say that I’m very mixed up about all this. Now that I know he really is still alive, I feel nervous about going on with it.’

  ‘That’s understandable. You’ll feel better if you see it through, I think, Anna. In many ways it could have been worse. At least, now you know that he did not willingly desert you, that he’s alive,’ he said. ‘Perhaps now you can begin to see your way forward.’

  ‘Yes, it could have been worse,’ she whispered. She found that she did not want to move away from Seth, that she wanted to stay there for a long time. His closeness warmed her in a way that she had forgotten about. His attraction was an added dimension to what she thought of him, eliciting shyness in her yet a fledgling, delicate flowering of something else…a rise in confidence, a struggling sense that she could be loved again, that she was lovable and attractive as a woman.

  ‘You’re doing very well,’ he said.

  ‘I don’t know about that,’ she said tremulously.

  He kissed her, stroking her hair back away from her face.

  ‘I could become addicted to this,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to move.’

  He laughed. ‘That’s all right. On both counts. Come.’ He took her hand, picked up the two mugs of coffee and led her into the sitting room to sit on the sofa, where they sat side by side. He put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her head down to rest against him.

  ‘Let’s just be quiet for a while,’ he said. ‘I have more to tell you, but that can wait.’

  This woman, Seth considered, was so different from his ex-wife. There was a quiet strength about her mixed with a vulnerability that was somehow endearing to him. And another big difference was that she was not loath to show her vulnerability. She appeared to think it was the normal thing to do, to confess one’s anguish and weaknesses, because that was not all one was.

  The other person had to accept you for what you were, or not at all, she seemed to be saying. There was no subterfuge in her, something that he found rather amazing and very refreshing. That was, he thought now in retrospect, one of the things that had attracted him to her from the time he had met her, although he had certainly put up resistance to it.

  Now that he held her hand and had an arm around her shoulders, there seemed to be nothing else in the world that he would rather be doing. The fact that she needed him raised in him unexpected emotions of tenderness that were not tinged, for once, with wariness. That much she had done for him.

  ‘Thank you for being here,’ she said.

  In answer, he squeezed her hand. ‘I’m an old-fashioned sort of a guy,’ he said, after a while, ‘who likes to hold hands.’

  ‘I’m glad you do,’ she said softly, her head against his shoulder.

  After a while, they drank the remain
s of their coffee. ‘Are you ready to hear more?’ Seth asked. ‘There’s something interesting I have to add.’

  ‘All right.’

  ‘Simon, with his sister, will be coming to Boston soon for a medical check-up at the hospital where he was treated after the accident. He has doctors in South Africa who’re looking after him, of course, but he comes back to Boston once in a while for assessment. They haven’t written him off,’ Seth said.

  Anna sat up straight and looked at him. ‘I’m glad about that. Does he know anything about me?’

  ‘No. His sister and I agreed that you should be the one to see him, to tell him. Once he’s in Boston, she will ask him if he wants to see you. If he does, then you can tell him about Finn.’

  Anna nodded. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Sophie has agreed to contact me when they know the dates and details of their flights,’ Seth said. ‘She also asked me if I would like to meet him, as that was ostensibly the reason why I contacted her in the first place. She doesn’t know that you had employed a private detective to find him. I told her that Simon has a son, but she has promised not to tell him ahead of time.’

  ‘Would you like to meet him?’

  ‘Yes, I would. We could maybe travel down together, you and I, if you would like to, Anna.’

  ‘That would be good,’ she said. ‘It’s going to be something of an ordeal for me. I don’t know how I’m going to react when I actually set eyes on him.’

  ‘Sophie said that he’s very changed, so you must try to prepare yourself as best you can. Not an easy thing to do.’

  ‘No…’

  ‘There’s something else.’ He turned sideways to look at her, assessing her emotions before speaking. ‘His sister told me that he has a young woman who wants to marry him. Apparently, the young woman took the initiative in this. She was his nurse when he first went back there, and she’s been in the picture ever since. It looks as though it will happen eventually, so she said, but he’s reluctant to take on marriage because he’s disabled, and it wouldn’t be a normal marriage. He’s still very depressed about his situation. It’s doubtful that he would be able to father a child.’