Refuse to Lose (A Coach's Love Book 1)

by Alison Mello

  "I guess I'm sad and frustrated."

  "Why frustrated?" I ask him.

  "Because they have so much, and they don't even realize it. They sat there talking about how they had their electronics and phones taken away. They have no idea what it's like. Try having your dad taken away," he shouts, surprising me. He shakes his head. "That's why I defended Landon. I get it. I know what it feels like to lose something so important and have to start over. I came here with my clothes and two boxes of my most important things." He buries his face in his hands. "I didn't get to bring my dad with me. He's in New York and I'll never get to see him again, and they're acting like not having their phones for a week is the end of the world."

  I wrap my arms around him. "I know I can never replace your dad, and I won't pretend that I can. You'll always miss him and he'll always have a special place in your heart, but that emotional scar makes you so much stronger than kids like Ethan and Colton. You've learned a life lesson they may not learn for years to come. The world needs kids like you to help kids like Landon. I know this probably doesn't make you feel better, but it was your dad's time." I rub his back. "You know, I'm not a religious man, but I believe that our lives are planned out for us and we were all put on this earth for a reason. Mine, I now know, was to be there for you and your mom. Yours right now is to be there for Landon and maybe, even at the right time and in the right way, to teach Colton and Ethan a lesson."

  He sniffles. "You think so?"

  I nod. "I do. Life is so hard but you have to make the best of it, and your mom is right. You can't use your hurt as a crutch, but you can use it to teach others."

  He wipes his eyes. "Thanks, Trystan."

  "You're welcome. Now what should we do for the rest of the day?"

  He shrugs. "I don't know. I'm kind of hungry."

  "Well, it smells like Mom is cooking. Why don't we go see what she's making?"

  "Okay."

  He jumps up from the bed, and we make our way to the kitchen. When we get out there the fear on Stella's face is evident. "Are you okay, buddy?"

  "Yeah, I am now." He hugs his mom. "What's for dinner?"

  "I'm making your favorite—mac and cheese with chicken nuggets."

  "Sweet. Thanks, Mom." He hugs her again.

  "No problem, bud. Why don't you go shower while I finish it and then we can play a game or something after dinner." He agrees and runs off to do as he was asked. "Is he really okay?"

  "Yeah. I think he is. He was angry at the boys and he misses his dad, but I think he'll be fine. He needed to vent and get it out. I told him it was okay to cry and be sad, and that's what he did."

  "I heard him yelling and, I have to admit, it was hard not to go running in there."

  "I'm sure it was but, honestly, I think he got more out and I think I earned some trust. I want him to know he can come to me if he needs to, especially as he's getting older and going through all those wonderful growing pains in the coming years."

  "God, I'm not sure I'm ready for all that."

  I laugh, "Well, you better get ready, sugar. It's coming, ready or not."

  She goes back to finishing dinner. I love blue box mac and cheese, and she knows it. She made two boxes with a huge pile of nuggets. I make small side salads to make our meal a little healthier, and by the time we're done DJ is back and ready to eat. I'm thankful he looks so much better now that he's had a few minutes to himself to calm down. The dinner conversation is light, and we plan to spend the evening playing Uno and relaxing.

  It's game day again, and today is important for us because we will see if Colton and Ethan have learned their lessons. DJ is less nervous this week, and I’m glad, it’s nice to see him enjoying himself. The boys are all gathered by the shed where we always meet before our games.

  Two guys come over to us and introduce themselves as the coaches for the other team. The four of us wish them luck, and we all take the field for warm-ups. So far things seem to be going smoothly. I post the batting order in the dugout and watch as the boys toss the ball around and do some stretches.

  "Bring it in, boys." I wave them in, and they all take a seat. "Are you boys ready to have some fun?"

  "Yes, Coach," they shout out.

  "Okay! The batting order and positions have been posted.” The boys all hurry over to check it out.

  "Yes, we're back in!" Ethan says to Colton. They fist bump and take their position in the field. The first inning is a mess. The other team scores two runs, but at least the boys are playing their positions. The team comes running in, and they take a seat on the bench. Ethan and Colton are sitting together as usual. They're having a conversation about how glad they are that they got their phones back.

  "Life sucks without my Xbox, and my father said even when I earn it back he won't give me Xbox Live until I earn that. He has no idea how much it sucks to play that alone."

  DJ gets up. "And you have no idea how lucky you are to still have your dad. Try losing that." He walks down to the other end of the dugout, leaving both Colton and Ethan stunned. Ethan looks at his father, who just shrugs because he knows DJ is right. I wink at DJ, and he takes a seat with Landon, Noah, and Ryan.

  Ryan fist bumps DJ and goes up to bat. He hits it into the outfield, bringing a run in. We're having an awesome morning at the plate so far. Hopefully, we can keep it up. Landon is up at bat next, and as he's leaving the dugout Ethan calls over to him, "You got this, Landon." He just nods and grabs his bat to take some practice swings.

  He steps up to the plate with one kid on and two outs. He swings at the first pitch and misses. The kids are all cheering him on now including Billy, who's telling him to wait for his pitch. The second pitch comes, and it's wild. He tries to duck out of the way but he's hit, and hard. He drops to the ground, and the entire team comes running over.

  "Landon, are you okay?" I kneel next to the poor kid. He was hit in the hip by a fastball. I know it's going to leave a mark.

  "Man, that stings." He rubs the side of his leg.

  "Can you shake it off?" I ask him, and he nods.

  "Yeah, I just need a minute." Colton puts his hand out and helps him off the ground.

  "Thanks."

  "Take your base." The fans all clap for him as he jogs down the base gingerly.

  Billy pats him on the back and asks him if he's okay, and he tells him he is. "Way to shake it off, kid."

  Noah is up next. He bats lefty and is an amazing batter. I hope he can bring our boys in. The pitcher throws another wild pitch, but Noah ducks out of the way to avoid getting hit. Our team parents all boo loudly, letting him know they're not happy with this pitching. I don't typically like that kind of thing, but this kid is gunning for us. The umpire warns him to get control. The kid gives a cocky grin and says, "Yeah, yeah." His next pitch is over the plate. Noah tips it foul. The kid nods his head, throws a pitch, and nails Noah in the arm. He drops the bat and shakes his arm off as he runs down the baseline, sending Landon to second. The umpire ejects him, and the kid starts freaking out.

  "It was an accident."

  "Yeah, well, consider me avoiding any more accidents."

  "You can't do that, old man." His coach comes running over and nudges the kid toward the dugout before he ends up suspended. This isn’t major league ball, but there are still rules, and an umpire can suspend a kid from games for being disrespectful.

  I turn to my boys and give them a warning. "If I ever hear any of you speaking like that to an ump, you won't have to worry about them suspending you because I will.” I run my eyes up and down the row of kids until I hit Ethan and Colton. “You know damn well I will too.”

  "Yes, Coach." They all look shocked that a kid their age is behaving like that. The other coach looks pissed, and he has a right to.

  He puts another pitcher in, and DJ takes the plate. The first pitch that's thrown, DJ connects, and the team comes running in. DJ makes it to third. The inning finally ends with us up by two.

  The rest of the game is a lot of bac
k and forth leads. Both teams have great batters, but the game ends with us winning by three. I'm proud of my boys because they didn't rush the field this week, and they've all grown as players.

  The parents all meet up with us at our usual spot and when the coaches are done talking with the kids, Stella asks if she can make an announcement. "I want you all to know that we’re all proud of you.” She points to the mom squad. “It's only game three, and we've already seen a huge improvement. That said, the parents were all talking and we've decided to have an impromptu cookout this afternoon. Everyone go home and change, and we're all going to meet up at Misty and Briggs' house in an hour."

  The kids all cheer that they have something fun to do for the afternoon. I look at Briggs, who shrugs because he clearly had no idea this was coming. The kids are about to take off, but I stop them. "Hold on, you're all forgetting something.” When they stop and look at me confused, I remind them, "First don’t forget next week is our first away game. Let’s show everyone that we have good team spirit home and away.” I smile. “Now, hands in." We finish off with our usual chant, and I tell them they can go.

  "Hey, Briggs, want us to bring anything over?"

  "The hell if I know, ask the party planner." He points to his wife, who has Mason's little brothers attempting to pull her toward the car.

  "Some yard chairs, if you have them, would be awesome."

  Stella laughs. "He meant for food." Stella shakes her head. "We've already discussed it."

  "Okay, well let's get out of here and you can fill me in when we get to the truck."

  DJ slings his bag over his shoulder, and we all head off to the parking lot. As soon as we're in the truck, she tells me that the plan is for us to go home and change and then run to the store for some chips and pasta salad from the deli. As we're pulling up to the house, I tell her to make sure DJ is squared away while I get the lawn chairs into the truck from the garage. By the time I'm done, they're in the living room waiting for me to change. I make quick work of putting on shorts and a t-shirt, and I meet them in the living room. "I just sent Misty a text, telling her we are dropping DJ off on our way to the store since we literally drive by her house to get there."

  "Sounds good. Let's go."

  As soon as we pull up to Misty's, DJ jumps down from the truck, and Briggs comes running over. "Hey, man, do me a favor?"

  "What's up?"

  "Grab some beer for me?" He hands me a twenty. "I only have like two left."

  "You got it. What do you drink?"

  "Coors Light, Bud Light. Something like that."

  "Cool, we'll be back soon." We pull away and head to the store. Lucky for us, the liquor store is attached to the grocery store. "Do you want to split up?" I ask her.

  "Sure. I'll run into the grocery store, and you go to the liquor store."

  We pull into the parking lot and pick a spot in between the two entrances. We're walking hand in hand toward the building until we get to the storefront. She starts to pull away, but I stop her. I pull her to me to give her a quick kiss. "See you in a few." She giggles, but then suddenly stops. When I turn around I see why. Sophia is standing there with her hands on her hips.

  "Really, Trystan, we never had any PDA."

  "I never loved you like I love her." Her jaw drops to the floor.

  "We were amazing together," she huffs.

  I shrug. "I used to think so too, but then I met Stella." I hold her hand and step closer. "I don't know what your problem is, but you need to get over it and move on. There is no us, and there never will be." She stomps off into the grocery store like the bratty little baby she is, and Stella laughs.

  She starts to pull away, but again I stop her. "Let's go to the liquor store first."

  "Babe, you can't be serious. What can she possibly do to me in a grocery store?"

  "I don't know, but I don't trust her."

  "I don't either, but I can certainly watch out for myself knowing she's in a public place."

  I finally cave. "Okay, but be careful."

  I literally run into the liquor store, grab the beer from the fridge, and rush it to the counter. I'm lucky the line is short. I really want to hurry into the store to look for Stella. I quickly lock it in the truck and tell Stella that I'm on my way into the store. She texts me back saying she's at the deli counter.

  When I get there I see Lori standing with Stella, and she's practically holding her up. "What happened?"

  "Sophia came around the corner with her carriage. She wasn't paying attention and was going to hit me, but Stella tried to stop her. Sophia ended up hitting Stella with the carriage instead."

  "It was an accident," Sophia shouts as Stella rubs her shin.

  "What the hell do you mean it was an accident," I growl, pissed off.

  "I was digging in my purse for my cell phone. It was ringing. I'm in a hurry. I have plans this afternoon." She looks down at her broken nail like that's more important than Stella's leg.

  "Trystan, let's just get our food and get out of here. We too have someplace to be." I take her hand and step up to the counter with her now that her number is called. She orders the pasta salad and as soon as the woman hands it to her, she puts it in her cart and starts to walk away.

  Sophia mumbles, "Crybaby."

  Stella stops the carriage and turns back to her. "You're lucky I have more self-respect than you do, or I'd ram this carriage into you and watch you cry like the whiny little bitch you are."

  Lori steps up next to her. "Come on, Stella, let's get out of here. She's not worth it."

  "Damn right she's not." She storms off to the chip aisle with me following behind her. I know she's angry because she's throwing random bags of chips into the carriage without really paying attention to what she's doing.

  "Stella, stop." She stops and turns to me.

  "Look at your carriage." She looks down and breaks out into laughter.

  "I'm sorry. She just gets me so mad."

  "I know, but we don't need that many bags of chips."

  She slaps me playfully, and then we decide what to really bring.

  We pull up to Misty's house, and there are a bunch of cars already here. Of course, we're probably last because of Sophia, but I'm trying to push her out of my mind so we can enjoy our afternoon. Trystan and I walk to the backyard. I'm carrying bags, and he's carrying beer. Misty comes over to help. "Umm...I meant you only needed one bag of chips."

  "Yeah well, I had about ten and Trystan talked me down a little."

  "Why would you have ten?" she asks, totally confused.

  "I'll explain later." I roll my eyes, frustrated with the situation.

  "I can see Briggs got you to pick up beer." She puts her hand on her hip.

  Trystan puts a hand up in a defensive manner. "Don't sass me. Sass your husband. He asked, I just delivered."

  "Way to throw me under the bus, dude." Briggs slaps him on the back and takes the beer.

  "Way to get me in trouble, dude," Trystan throws back at him, and they both start laughing. "Now come get our chairs with me."

  Briggs puts the beer in the cooler, and the two of them grab the chairs and set them up on the deck near Billy and some of our other friends. I'm a little concerned about the beer now that I see he's here, but I guess we have to see how he handles it.

  Misty has a pretty big yard. It's a little bigger than mine, and she has a deck that's about double the size of mine. The parents are all up on the deck sitting around while the kids are spread out on the lawn fooling around.

  "How's your leg?" Lori gives me a hug.

  "It's fine now."

  "Okay, what happened?" Misty asks again, and Lori goes into all the details of our meet at the store. Misty shakes her head.

  "That woman has always been a clumsy fool," Daisy pipes in. "The problem she has is she cares about no one but herself. She does whatever she wants regardless of how it affects the people around her."

  We're all looking at her quite shocked. Daisy is new to the mom s
quad and is usually very quiet. She's the one who sits there and just agrees or disagrees with us, so to hear her sounding so frustrated blows us away. "What? I'm just sayin’." We all burst into a fit of laughter.

  "Girl, that's the most you’ve said since the day you introduced yourself," I laugh.

  She shrugs. "I despise the woman. She has even messed with me. Why she needs to mess with a woman who has so little is beyond me."

  "She really has very little. She may have money because her daddy left her a ton, but she has no family and no friends. Well, she has Laney, but let's be real—the two of them are like a scene from Mean Girls. It's ridiculous."

  "Well, unfortunately, it's probably going to get worse because Ethan and I are moving out. I filed for a divorce," Vincent announces. All eyes turn to him.

  "Ethan already knows, and he knows I'm fighting for custody. Her father is going to convince her it's for the best."

  "Really?" Haddie asks.

  "Yeah, she's no good for him. She has him thinking that treating people like shit is how you get places in life. She told him if he's the best then no one can get in his way. That's part of the reason he was showing off on the field."

  "That's too bad. I'm really sorry, Vincent," Trystan says with sympathy.

  He shakes his head. "Don't be. I saw this coming years ago. She's not the Laney I fell in love with. That Laney disappeared when she started winning cases and decided she was going to become the best lawyer in West Virginia. She actually wants to move to a bigger city so she can make a better name for herself. I told her to take Sophia with her."

  "Wouldn't that save us all a ton of grief?" I cross my hands over my chest.

  "Come and get it," Misty shouts, letting us all know the food is ready. The boys rush the table like men who haven't eaten in days. We hurry over to help them so they don't make a mess. They sit at a few tables Misty set up in the yard while the rest of us eat on the deck. Some of the guys are enjoying a beer, but I can't help but notice Billy is drinking water. When he gets up to toss the bottle into the recycle bin, I grab him another and hand it to him.