Betrayed

by Jordan Silver

  "Why didn't you tell me this when I first got back?"

  "You never gave me a chance..."

  "I was home for three days before all this happened, you could've told me then, why the fuck didn't you?"

  "I wasn't sure."

  "And you're sure now?" She nodded her head at me, "I saw the doctor today." I could only look at her, my fucking wife; how did things get so screwed up? I never thought something like this would ever be a part of our lives, we were supposed to be in love, people in love didn't do shit like this to each other did they? "How far along are you?"

  "Three and a half months." Her voice was the soft whisper like quality I was accustomed to, my innocent girl, now sullied. "Should I be asking for a paternity test?" She looked like I'd slapped her, too fucking bad. "Tell me Madelyn, if some woman came here and told you I had been fooling around with her but we didn't go all the way, and that woman shows up pregnant not long after, wouldn't you question whether or not the child was mine?" She clutched her throat and barely made it to the end of the porch where she threw up. I guess that answers that question.

  "Get in the house, you can sleep in the guest room until I figure out something. Don't even think that this changes anything; all this means is that you might or might not be carrying my child, until I decide if to believe you or not you will stay here. On the off chance that it is my baby I want to make sure that he or she is taken care of." Ask me if I cared that I was being a dick? Nope, fuck this shit, she hurt me in a way no man should ever suffer, let her ass bear the consequences for her fuck up.

  "Maybe this was a mistake, I shouldn't have come here..."

  "Too late, you're here and there's no way in hell you're going anywhere with my kid inside you."

  "But you don't believe that it's yours."

  "As long as there's room for doubt I'll err on the side of valor, now get in the damn house and don't piss me off anymore than you already have." She mumbled something under her breath but I chose to ignore it. I wasn't about to argue with her, I'd said what I had to say that's that.

  "Can I have one of your shirts to sleep in?" I gave her a look; she always slept in one of my shirts, usually the one I had worn that day. It was sexy as fuck and she knew what it did to me. I walked into the bedroom and got a clean shirt from the drawer, returning to the living room I threw it at her and went back to dinner. I was done with her for the night.

  I had things to think about, like a kid on the way. I felt myself smile for the first time in days; I’m going be a dad. I had no doubt that the kid was mine. Like I said, I believed her when she said things hadn't gone that far, that didn't mean I was just going to accept shit and go on like nothing happened. A kiss no matter how it came about was a big fucking breach of contract in my book. It will take and act of monumental proportions to get me over this shit. I know me, I’m a hard taskmaster, I give her one hundred percent and I expect no less in return.

  I hope things cleared up real soon though because I’m horny as fuck. It had been three days since I had any and I wasn't use to going without. On the job was one thing, but this self-induced celibacy bullshit was not for me. Not since I first took her had I gone so long without being inside her while stateside; unless she was on her period, which just hell no, not for me. It will be fun to see how long I held out with her in the house. And knowing my kid was inside her was just fucking with my head now too, that shit was hot.

  Chapter 4

  The next morning I woke to someone retching. "What the fuck?" I jumped off the bed and headed for the bathroom where the noise was coming from and found my wife kneeling on the tiled floor with her head in the bowl. My heart hurt, the traitorous fuck, I hated to see her in any kind of pain angry or not and she looked a pitiful mess. I got a washcloth and wet it at the sink before kneeling beside her and putting it to her forehead.

  "You done?" She gave me a feeble ass nod against my chest and I flushed the toilet and picked her up in my arms, rinsed her mouth and headed for the couch. I sat there with her in my lap until she was over the shakes. I didn't know that this pregnancy shit went down like that, I’m gonna have to get some books and read up on this shit.

  "What do I need to do for you to make this stop?"

  "Nothing, just hold me please." Her voice was small and weak, how long did this shit last anyway? I was trying to remember if I'd ever heard anything about this morning sickness shit and what people usually did for it. I would call my mom but my phone was in the bedroom and she didn't seem like she was moving off my lap anytime soon.

  I laid my head back against the couch and prepared to be there for a while. It wasn't long before I heard her gentle little snores that told me she'd fallen off to sleep again. I moved one of my hands and placed it over the place where my kid laid, my heart full to bursting with love before I became pissed the fuck off again. I should be enjoying this shit, impending fatherhood, instead I'm under a cloud of distrust and fury that's standing in the way of me rejoicing at my good fortune. What the fuck was I supposed to do now? I can't yell at her, she's fucking pregnant, I'm not am animal and Shaw that fuck is in hiding or some shit ever since I kicked his ass and I seriously need to fuck somebody's shit up like now.

  I got up and took her to the bed she'd slept in the night before. Looking down at her I saw my Madelyn, the girl I'd fallen head over heels for. But how could that be? She wasn't the same anymore, things had changed, the innocent sweetheart I'd married was no more. She'd crossed the line into something else. I could never again see her as what she once was and that was sad. I felt robbed somehow; jipped, and I hated her for it. I turned and left the room before I lost my mind, there was a car pulling up outside as I went past the living room headed for the kitchen. What the fuck now?

  "Chief."

  "My daughter here Hearst?"

  "Yep."

  "She in one piece?"

  "She's carrying my seed so for now she's fine."

  "What does that mean?"

  My glare was answer enough.

  "Maybe I ought to take her out of here until this situation calms down." He made as if to come up on the porch. I stayed in my relaxed pose, one shoulder resting against the pole, arms folded across my chest.

  "Not gonna happen, my kid stays here, after he or she is born you can come get your daughter, until then no dice."

  "Are you really this angry about a silly mistake that doesn't amount to a hill of beans?"

  "You better believe it, now if there's nothing else I haven't had my morning coffee."

  "I want to see Maddy..."

  "She just went back to sleep she woke up sick, you're not waking her up. You can come back later if you want but if you come here with any bullshit it'll be the last time. I've had my quota of bullshit for the year so hear me out, she came to me, she's carrying my kid, she's still my wife so whatever I want to do with her is my fucking business. You're her dad, I understand that but please understand that you have no say in this situation, this is between my wife and me. You try to get involved I will pack her up and be gone until my kid is born safe and sound, you following me?"

  "Damn Dominic, I never thought I'd see the day when you could be this hard, not with her."

  "Yeah well you never know how you'll react to the whole town thinking your wife was fucking around on you while you were off protecting your country. Trust me the fact that your daughter is still among the living should tell you how safe she is with me."

  "Dominic..."

  "Save it, there's nothing you can say to make this shit any better, the situation is fucked."

  "Just tell me one thing, am I going to have to put her back together when all is said and done?"

  "I don't know chief I really don't know, I might wake up tomorrow and decide to forgive her who knows; but right now I can barely stand to look at her, that answer your question?" I didn't give him time to answer, just turned and went back in.

  I guess she had heard our voices or his engine because she was standing in the living room
when I walked back inside. The look on her face told me she'd heard every word. "Don't even think about it, you came here and here's where you're staying." I'd seen her intent to go after her father and nipped that shit in the bud. She wasn't leaving my sight until I had my kid in my hands.

  Chapter 5

  The next few days were the strangest of my fucking life; we had to come up with a whole new routine. Instead of the closeness we usually shared during our morning ablutions we moved around each other like two strangers. I spent the morning hours holding her hair back and cleaning her up after my baby made her sick as a dog. I'd made her tea that second morning after having read up on some of the remedies women used for morning sickness the day before.

  Later that same day I went out and bought cases of crackers and ginger ale and everything that was mentioned that could possibly help. After that I pretty much left her alone; it hurt me still to see her looking so forlorn and sulky but I wasn't in the relenting mood.

  "When's your next doctors appointment?"

  "In a few days."

  She was working at her computer, which was her usual deal when things were good between us. She worked on her manuscript while I puttered around in my workshop or traded on the net; then we'd break for lunch together usually followed by a wild bout of fucking which could sometimes last until late evening. Now we didn't even touch except when I was helping her while she was being ill.

  "I'm coming with you I have some questions." I saw the hurt look that fell on her face; no doubt she thought I was talking about a DNA test but that isn't where I was going. Too bad I don't feel like putting her mind at ease.

  "Besides I don't trust your cheating ass so you're not going anywhere without me until my kid's born." I saw her flinch but I didn't give a fuck, she made that bed she could lie in it. The day might come when I forgive her for that bullshit but today wasn't it.

  MADELYN

  Geez he's a hard headed son of a bitch; after that crack about not trusting me he'd left and gone to his workshop in the back. I'd cried a little before bucking it up and holding onto my resolve to see this through. I know I messed up but I thought we were strong enough to overcome that little lapse. There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep my marriage, Dominic has always been my one and only. With him I'm more than I am without him; the thing with Simon was just a stupid slip. I didn't even have any feelings for him, not like that at least, he's always just been a really cool friend. Now because of one stupid mistake I'd lost a friend and damaged my relationship with my husband because I had no doubt that whatever happened, he'd never forget this. I know I wouldn't if things were reversed, and that's what scares me.

  "It's time to feed my kid." How long had I been sitting there like that? I hadn't even heard him come back in. He had a plate in his hand, which he set down on my desk before leaving the room again. He was so excited about the baby, I could tell even though he tried to hide it. Every once in a while I’d catch him reading something on the net and he’d get this look of his face like he couldn’t wait, but he wouldn't share any of that joy with me.

  That too I had robbed him of with my selfishness. I picked up the sandwich and bit in as I contemplated my next move. Maybe I could use the pregnancy to shorten the gap between us; it was worth a try anyway. I played around with it in my head for a little while before making my approach. If he shot me down again I’m not sure how I would take it, my heart had taken about all it could stand for now.

  "Dominic may I talk to you for a minute please? Please it'll only take a minute then I'll leave you alone."

  "What is it Madelyn?" Lord he sounded so tired, it made me want to cry; how had I done this to this strong man, how had I brought us to this?

  "I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be; but this is our first baby and I don't want us to miss out on any of those first that comes with that. I want us to enjoy its first kick together and all the other little things that comes with pregnancy. Please I know you hate me but I don't want to do this alone, I don't want our baby to miss out on your love because of something I did." I felt the tears start but couldn't stop them in time so I just wiped them away as fast as I could. He just looked at me for the longest time without saying anything and I held my breath waiting for the explosion. Maybe I shouldn’t have done this, I started to turn away but then he finally spoke.

  "Come here." I was in his lap faster than he could blink; I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed this, this closeness, the feeling of being held in his wonderful arms. I wish I could stay here forever, safe and sheltered the way I always was before I’d thrown it all away. His arms felt like home and I snuck a quick sniff of his shirt as I settled myself on his lap. At least he wasn’t pushing me away, not yet anyway.

  "You say first as though there might be others."

  "I'm hoping, oh how I hope so." If there weren’t, if we didn’t get through this and find our way back to each other I’d just die.

  He didn't say anything for a while, just held me on his lap as he gave thought to my words. I took the time to breathe him in, to enjoy that sense of the familiar that had been missing these last few days. It wasn’t like us to be around each other like this without some type of byplay. Dominic’s appetite for sex was off the charts; I can’t imagine that it has been easy for him going without that intimacy for so long, unless…no he wouldn’t. My heart couldn’t stand the thought so I shied away from it.

  "I don't hate you Madelyn, I'm just; I need time to think about what I want. I'm not gonna lie to you, right now I don't know what I really feel, I do know that I don't want you away from me with my kid inside you, let that be enough for now. As to what you're saying we'll see, I don't want to miss out on anything ether but I don't see how we can share those things with things being the way they are. I can't sleep with you because I'll want you and I won't touch you feeling the way I do, that'll be an insult to the memory of what we had. I can promise to try to let go of some of my anger but it's not gonna happen overnight I'm sorry."

  I cried for the second time that day as my heart broke inside, he really was gone from me. Even though the words had been spoken calmly instead of the anger of late, I finally accepted. My Dominic was never going to love me the way he once did. In that moment I believed if not for the child in my womb I might've ended my life so absolute was the pain in my soul.

  Chapter 6

  I wish I could say her tears moved me and all was forgiven but that's not how it went. I let her cry it out until she was done then set her aside to get her something to drink. Everything I did was for my kid, I won't say I wished her ill but I really didn't care about her one way or the other, not right now. There's no way that she could make me understand how she could've done it, she was supposed to be mine, in love; was love so fickle that a bout of loneliness could make you stray? I don't know, I never thought so, I would never have done that to her not in a million fucking years and I've had opportunities. Even now, feeling the way I do, I couldn't see myself going out there and putting my hands on another woman.

  That evening I did something really fucked up. She made dinner and set the table, I guess she knew better than to call me to dinner but I knew she wanted me to sit with her and eat at least. But I couldn't give her even that and it pissed me the fuck off that she kept trying. So instead I walked right pass her at the table, took my keys off the hook by the door, slammed out the house and drove down the mountain.

  I had no real destination in mind, wasn't going anywhere in particular until I ended up at the only diner in the small town. People called out hello when I walked to the back of the place to take a booth. I just waved and kept going I didn't want to talk to anyone. Her friend Brenda was sitting with a group of women and gave me the eye. Skanky twat, she probably thought the coast was clear now that Maddy and me were on the outs.

  One of Maddy’s friends Donna came over and said hi. Donna was cool people, she was nothing like Brenda, at least not as far as I could tell from the few times we’d met. She lo
oked miserable as shit as she approached me. “Dominic I don’t mean to get in your business and I can’t really talk here but I think there was something more going on that night at the bar.” What the fuck? I guess the murderous glare I gave her put the fear of hell in her because she took a quick step back.

  “No not like that, I just mean Maddy wasn’t acting herself you know? She’s never been a drinker and she didn’t have that much to drink to begin with, but she started acting really weird. I never had a chance to find out what was going on with her because Brenda kept getting between us, but I just thought you should know, I don’t think that what happened was all Maddy’s fault.” The way she sneered at Brenda’s name made me take notice.

  She walked off and went back to her table with her family as I perused the room. The only one who seemed interested in our conversation was none other than Brenda herself.

  It didn't take her long to saunter over to my table with her sugary sweet smile. I didn't stop her when she leaned over and kissed my cheek, I guess I should've because she seemed to take that as an invitation to sit down.

  "So how're things Dominic you hanging in there? I'm sorry about the trouble with Maddy and Simon I tried telling her but she just wouldn't listen."

  I looked at her without answering for five minutes, by minute three she was starting to squirm under my scrutiny.

  "What was it that you tried telling her exactly Brenda huh?"

  "Oh well you know about that…that night..."

  "What about it?"

  "You know, you know what happened."

  "I do, my wife told me all about it." Her eyes grew wide and she looked…nervous. What the fuck was that about?

  "She did, but how could she remember...?" She closed her mouth real quick after that.