Finding Erin

by America Leigh

  “Sssh. You didn’t shut me out. You needed time for everything to sink in. The media may call me a tyrant Erin, but when it comes to you, I will be patient.” I kissed her hair, “I will be supportive” another kiss, “and I will forever be yours.” I lifted her face up to mine and captured those beautiful soft lips that craved to be touched and slid my tongue gently across them, sampling everything they had to offer me. The soft sobs quickly turned into hurried moans. Erin’s hands pulled me in every direction. I loved this possessive side of my wife, as much as the gentle and innocent one.

  I pulled my lips away from Erin’s and shuddered at the intensity of our kisses. She would be my undoing on every level and I didn’t give a damn. As long as she was always mine. “We need to slow down.” I told her breathlessly, hating the disappointed look on her face. Her golden eyes flashed an intensity I had forgot she held and sighed. The confusion clouded the lust, then the disappointment flooded her completely.

  “Erin, we need to talk before I strip you with my teeth.” I blatantly told her. Her eyes went wide and a hint of blush entered her cheeks. Well that was something at least, I could still fluster this side of Maggie. That was comforting to know, when dealing with Erin.

  “Ok.” Erin whispered, trying to hide the desire that shone through them beautiful shades of browns.

  “Can we sit?” I asked. Erin nodded and gave me a cautious look.

  I had to tell her the truth. I had to lay it all out for her to decide, if she wanted me after everything I had done. I needed to be honest with her. She needed me to be honest with her right now. Erin deserved the kind of husband who would never be afraid to stand up and fight for her and a husband that was strong enough to tell her the truth, no matter the consequences. “When I was little, I was raised by my Aunt. She was a constant in my early life until my father sent me to boarding school. That was a few years before you came along. I would come home and visit when I could, but when my Aunt wasn’t at the house any more I started to panic that she had left me. Edmund had bought her a little apartment near the coast. My mother was gone most of the time. She went out to lunches with her charity groups and benefit dinners throughout the year. It became a constant that my mother had more impressing engagements. It was obvious that my Aunt cared for me, in a way my mother never could. The months slipped by. I would visit her through the breaks and we would write each other letters. We were pen pals of sorts. She was my link to the outside world. It wasn’t until I turned up at summer break unexpected, that I knew something was…. wrong.” The last word clogged in my throat as if the pain of loosing Molly had resurfaced.

  Erin gave me a worried look.

  “I was the last to know that she was dying. She was in the final stages of heart failure. She had a rare and aggressive form of heart disease that was hereditary. It robbed me of having her in my life for longer. I refused to leave her side. My mother and father tried to remove me from her side several times. I wouldn’t leave her though. She was the only one that was there for me when I needed someone. She taught me to stand up for what I believed in.”

  “Aunt Molly was one of the strongest woman I ever had the privilege in knowing or loving for that matter. That was until you. You remind me of her in so many ways. How you never let anything beat you? You just kept on fighting anyway. She would have loved you.” I kissed her again, needing that connection before I told her everything else.

  “I sat with her everyday. Every hour. I was angry that I was loosing someone I loved and I hated that my parents had sent me away when I should have been beside her, cherishing the time we had left together. Molly was weak, but she kept smiling in spite of everything. Her apartment was quiet. My parents had left me there most days to run errands and hated that they had to reschedule their busy social schedules to accommodate me. The contempt in their eyes at having to rearrange their neat little lives, so I could be with her, is something I will never forget. It was omissible and now it makes complete sense, but to a nine year old boy, it didn’t.” I paused, the burn in my throat felt insufferable. It had been nearly twenty years and I still felt raw talking of Molly. “When Molly passed, I was inconsolable. My mother sent me to dozens of doctors begging them to have me committed. I was an inconvenience. If it was not for my father’s reputation. I would have been.” It was hard to cover the sarcasm in my voice.

  “Why did they keep you away from her? She was your Aunt after all?” Erin questioned softly. Her innocence poured over her words. I wished the world was as pure as she saw it, then I wouldn’t be as bitter and twisted as I am now. I swallowed that thought and admitted to myself that if things were different than the present would be very different.

  “Yes, things were complicated though. All I could see for years after that, was my hatred at being kept away from her for so long. It wasn’t all bad for me because this little pot of honey burst into my life and made everything sweet again.” I purred, making Erin blush in return.

  “Maggie must have been all sweetness and light if she gave your life meaning again” Erin admitted, jealously tinged her words.

  “You are one in the same, baby. She was more confidant in herself, but you have a stronger presence and an innocence that has me wanting to barricade us in a white tower, so I can devour you over and over again. I missed Maggie. I would never lie to you over that, but I crave you. When Maggie woke briefly after your seizures, I was happy that I got to see that part of you again, but I mourned you, baby. Like I told the doctor. I loved Maggie, but I married this version of you.” Erin nodded, taking in my words. She raised her head and swallowed hard.

  “What happens if I revert back to Maggie? There is a possibility of that isn’t there?”

  I froze at her words, but I knew there was only one answer.

  “I will always be right here.” I told her with conviction. I swallowed the emotion that had risen by the truth I had spoken. I placed my palm firmly over her chest and never meant those words more than I did right in this moment. “No matter what version that is. I. Will. Always. Be. Right. Here.” I punctuated every word. I had murmured those words at every chance I got in the past, but I knew deep down that whatever transcended in our future. I would be right here. Where I belong, with Erin.

  “What happened between you and your parents?” Erin asked, bringing back to the present and facing the truth of our pasts.

  “I got angrier and I rebelled like most kids when they lose someone. That was until I heard my mother tell my father that I was too much like Molly to be worth anything. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, until I went through her things and found proof.”

  “Proof of what?” Erin said, cutting me off.

  “That I belonged to some one else.” Erin’s face screwed up and gave me a confused look. She was beautiful, even with her faced screwed up. How the hell did I get this lucky? I just had to convince her that I was a good enough man to be with her forever.

  “Molly was my mother, Erin.” I sighed. I didn’t like the heavy feeling in my chest has I feel the lost of Molly all over again. Erin exhaled sharply.

  “I don’t understand? If she was your mother than why did you call her Aunt?” Erin spoke the questions that I had held in for over fifteen years. I had mentioned it to my father only once before and was told in no uncertain terms that Molly would never be discussed again. She was not my mother. I already had one of them. Yes I did, but the cold and superficial one that I was exchanged with, wasn’t the same as the one I had lost. “The letters I found after her death explained why things between my parents never worked. She wrote love letters to someone. She was given no choice by her father she had to marry Edmund.”

  “Why would they do that to her?”

  “Duty, I suppose.” Erin sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit it gently with her teeth. This was a lot for her to take in.

  “My father told me it was none of my business and threatened to disinherit me if I didn’t behave like a good little boy. At that time I hardly ev
er saw them and I had you and Rafi and staying with the two of you became more important than challenging my father.”

  “Why do I get the feeling that you sacrificed a lot for me?” Erin said on a nervous chuckle. Her face lit up with uncertain joy. I knew that I touched her in a way that no one else could.

  “I didn’t. It wasn’t a sacrifice when I belonged to you already. I may sound like a romantic fool but when I saw you at the garden party, I knew you were it for me. You were dressed in a white dress with a bright pink sash with dark blonde ringlets dangled down your back. You were the most beautiful thing I saw then and now and nothing will ever change that.”

  “How old were we?” Erin questioned.

  “I was ten and you were seven.” I chuckled out loud.

  “What’s funny?”

  “It’s ironic really. You were the only leverage my parents had over me and when you went missing they had no control over me anymore. They thought I wouldn’t fall in line. I shocked the hell out of them when I went my own way, to make a life for us, waiting for you to come back to me.”

  “Why would your parents want to do that?” Confusion clouded Erin’s brow once again.

  “So I would take over the family business. I heard my father say once that I held certain rights within the company that would prevent him from fully operating his international company to its full potential.”

  “What would they achieve with you out of the picture though, without you sticking your nose into the business?” Erin asked calmly. Hell. Why had I never thought about it that way?

  “Shit. I have never thought about it that way?” Erin’s blunt words brought everything into focus. I needed to find out though. Then I remembered I heard Faith say something at the gala.

  “What was Faith saying at the Gala?” I said urgently, suddenly feeling like the pieces were fitting together as they should be. Erin’s sharp intake of breath had my heart in my throat.

  “We… She recognised Molly from the hospital.” Erin’s voice was a mere whisper at this point of our heart to heart. Her voice shook as she tried to find the words.

  “Who is Molly?”

  One Molly from our pasts was enough for us to deal with.

  “The nurse from the hospital. She gave me my meds.” Has soon as Erin’s words were out of her mouth, her eyes went wide.

  “What did she look like?”

  “She looked very elegant at the Gala, a lot different from the nurse’s uniform she wears. She’s blonde, but different shades of gold. She has the palest green eyes I’ve ever seen and her dress matched. It wrapped around her waist like a sash but gathered to tuck in her waist.”

  Oh Jesus Christ. I felt sick. I swallowed hard as my stomach rolled hard and fast. I bent over in my chair and gasped for air. I stood there for a few minutes. I calmed myself down enough to go over to the dresser. I took out some photographs and made my way back over to Erin.

  “This is Molly.” I told her. I showed her the last picture I have of her. She wore a pretty white dress with a flower pattern embroiled all over it. She looked so young and free on that picture. It was the way I remembered her. Her dark hair was in natural waves around her shoulders and her piercing blue eyes smiled back at me, for all the world to see. I looked so much like her, but Molly was much more vibrant and loving than I could ever be. “My Molly.” I admitted to the only person who mattered.

  “She’s beautiful.” Erin’s words were small, but they held so much emotion. My heart had a hard time telling my brain not to cry like a baby. “You look so much like her you know. It’s the eyes. They shine so much alike, especially when you’re happy.”

  “At the wedding?” I asked.

  “The Willow Tree” Erin murmured. I pulled her face gently towards mine and kissed her again, as if there wouldn’t be another. I kissed her to remind her that what I had felt under our Tree, I would always feel that way. I regained my composure and pulled the other photograph I had took from the draw of the dresser.

  “That’s Molly” Erin’s voice peaked in shock. She covered her mouth with her hand as if she was afraid of what words would come out of her mouth next.

  “Erin. This is Eliza Elliot-Vance. My other mother.” I told her coldly. I feared what I already saw on Erin’s face. My step-mother had something to do with Erin’s disappearance and her amnesia. Why in the world would they try to pull something like this? Kidnapping a minor was extreme to just keep me in check.

  “That can’t be?” Erin stuttered. “Why?....Why would she?”

  “That is exactly what I’m fucking thinking.” I shouted when I got to my feet and began pacing the length of the room. My need for space had Erin sitting patiently at the window as before. I knew I was possibly frightening her, but I couldn’t seem to get a handle on my emotions. I felt restricted, as if my clothes were too tight and I would burst out of everything that was holding me back. I had kept a tight lease on my emotions over the years, but the thought that my parents could have had something to do with me loosing Maggie all those years ago and planned to keep it that way, made my body hard and tense at the reality of the lengths that my parents would go, to get me to play their game.

  “Eddie, calm down.” Erin’s words were calm and sombre. I looked slowly at her worried face. She was still processing what this could mean for us. That we might be up against a harder enemy than we initially thought.

  My parents.

  What the hell have I gotten Erin into? This isn’t right. My family were putting her in danger. She was a part of my family now too, but I would sacrifice anything to keep her safe. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her again because of me. She had already suffered ten years of darkness. I wouldn’t put her through that again. I started shaking my head and my chest tightened. I would rather die than have her go through anymore.

  I pulled out my phone and swiped the screen. I needed to get out of here. I need to let her live her life without me endangering her.

  “Out front. Now” I ordered Rhodes. I didn’t even wait for his response.

  I needed to get answers.

  “I have to go.” I admitted and stood up and made my way towards the door.

  “Why?” Erin’s one word made my heart crack open.

  “I won’t put you in danger again.” I conceded. My hand rested on the handle of the door, shaking.

  Chapter Thirty One.

  Erin

  “I thought you loved me.” I admitted. My voice sounded needy. I hated that he had made me like this.

  “I do Maggie, more than you will ever know” Eddie’s voice broke under the strain. He was so close now, I could feel the heat from his body as he lifted my chin to look into his eyes. He had made his way back from the door and was toe to toe with me.

  “I’m putting you in danger just by being with you.” Eddie’s eyes were dark and full of his own need to protect me. He looked defeated with no other choice, but to let me go. My heart was clawing at my chest to comfort him, but he was the only one making sense out of this madness I had been thrust into. I took a step back and let my hands fall to my sides, clenching them tight. I should have just let him go and distance myself, but my own words stopped me.

  “You’re just going to leave me again” I choked out.

  That did it.

  He stormed over to me in two fluid strides and swooped me into his arms, leaving me defenceless. His breath swept up my neck and then his soft but urgent lips were on mine. Possessing me. Taking every ounce of warmth as he slipped his tongue into my mouth, tasting, exploring and owning me completely. I sighed through the haze. Both his hands ran up my body tantalizing me with his touch and slowly slipped into my hair. He pulled and caressed me, trying to take the kiss deeper. I felt a jolt of heat and impatience run through me. I ran my palms up over his impressive abs, snatching at his shirt. I wanted to see him. I wanted to taste him. Eddie cupped my ass and lifted me into his arms. My legs wrapped around his waist instinctively and heat instantly pooled at my core. It wasn’t like I
had much experience at this, but I couldn’t get close enough. I had only been with Eddie once. The way he made me feel made me forget everything else but his touch. Every instinct in my body was clawing with need to find a release. I started grinding and pulling at his body for any kind of friction. My body was on fire and the heat in my stomach was burning me up. Eddie started grinding me back, murmuring oh and Maggie and Erin and baby in a stream of unconscious moans His words were my undoing and I took every bit of pleasure that he offered, even if we were fully clothed. I called out his name in one big sigh of pure ecstasy. Holy shit. Did I just…did I just have an orgasm? Eddie’s breath was harsh and ragged against the curve of my neck. I was finding if difficult to come down from the euphoria of coming in Eddie’s arms. I was juiced on the complete rush, he had sent me plummeting into. I never thought it was possible to be sent to heaven and back with the slightest touch.

  “I need you now.” Eddie demanded.

  He backed us up against the window seat where I had been sat in for most of the day. He pulled me down onto his lap and began tasting me again. Eddie’s warmth beckoned me to crawl under his skin and never leave the warm caress of his tongue. I couldn’t seem to get enough of him. He shifted in his seat and pushed his fingers deep inside my warmth. I squirmed on top of him. Oh god. The arousal sent pleasure to every nerve ending within my body and all I could feel was Eddie, consuming me.

  My desire for him had never wavered from the moment he walked in the restaurant and he reminded me where I belonged at our willow tree. I let his stealthy fingers twist and turn in and out of me until I couldn’t take anymore. I buried my face in his neck, taking a taste of my addiction. I would never get enough of this man.

  My pulse quickened has Eddie picked up his pace. I threw my head back in the knowledge that he had me in his clutches and he had no intentions in ever letting me go. That possession, that feeling of belonging made me love him more than I already did. His magic fingers slicked in and out quicker and quicker until I trembled from the intensity of it all. Eddie ragged breath hit my neck and we both buried our faces in each other embrace and let the exquisite pleasure take hold. I screamed Eddie’s name over and over again. The pleasure took over my entire body and god help me I was done for.