The Chimera Charm

by Pearl Goodfellow

  “Think you’re up for a trip to see Portia, Hat?” he finally asked.

  I groaned in despair. Serves me right for wanting to know what he was thinking about. “And what exactly makes you think she’s any more guilty of this murder than the last five you accused her of? If just being at the fair was proof enough—“

  “Ah, but I also have an eyewitness testimony courtesy of our own Reverend Peacefield,” David revealed, tapping his notepad. “Turns out that Saint Pendragon’s cleaning lady, Blanche Henpeck, saw Portia having a rather heated exchange with Morag just a few hours before Mabon Fair opened its gates for business.”

  I felt too tired to argue with my friend about this. Instead I resolved to go through the motions with him, even if it meant holding up the investigation. If David needed to prove to himself that Portia wasn’t to blame, then I’d take the long way around with him. Solidarity and all that. Besides, I’d been by the chief’s side every other time he had blamed Portia for deathly shenanigans. One more time wouldn’t hurt, I guessed. Given that Morag had been the legal representation of the alleged murderer of one of Portia’s fellow Custodian’s, questioning Portia might even be relevant.

  “Any way we could make that visit at the end of the day?” I asked. “I have a lot to catch up on at the shop, and I want to make sure Millie’s holding the fort okay,”

  David shrugged. “Sure, no prob --” my friend doubled over, clutching his stomach.

  “Chief?” I asked, reaching for his shoulder. CPI Trew held up a hand, straightening himself out slowly. He gave me a sheepish grin. “Is that offer of your homemade antacid’s still on the table?”

  I grabbed his hand. “Come on, you silly man.”

  Chapter Five

  The rest of the day at the shop was fairly uneventful. Oh, I had to run a few deliveries, take an inventory of our supplies, watch Millie deal with a couple of irate customers AND throw a bad batch of Mermaid’s Mustard down under the floor for the mushrooms to process. But, nothing too taxing otherwise.

  As Millie turned the sign around to “Closed” and locked the door, she asked, “Do you need anything else before I go, Hattie?”

  “No, I’ve actually got to go out soon,” I said, wiping down the counter. It never ceased to amaze me how much kitty hair came up with the wiping.

  “Ooooh, is it working the case or working on cuddling up to CPI Tall, Dark and Delicious?” Millie asked with a tease in her voice.

  The frown I gave her wasn’t what she was expecting, making her frown too. “Hey, what gives, girlfriend? Everything alright with you two?”

  I shook my head in frustration. “You saw him earlier, Millie. Did he seem a little…off to you?”

  “Well, he had indigestion,” she said. “That’d throw anybody off.”

  “Even so,” Onyx interjected from his perch on one of the wall shelves. “Not all of his behavior could be accounted for by mere bellyaches.”

  Something about his tone made me suspicious. “Okay, what did you see that I didn’t, O?” I demanded.

  Onyx jumped down. “I’m afraid I’m not equipped to clarify, Seraphim. Let us just say that what I did see is enough for me to share your concern. He needs to be closely watched. Something troubles the chief.”

  Why did I even bother? When it comes to secrets, spy agencies could learn a thing or two from my cats. The Infiniti always knew more than they let on and they’d only ever give you enough information to point you in the direction they wanted to go. It was an infuriating game to play, even if I knew that my cats only meant well.

  “No offense, guys,” Millie said, heading towards the back door. “But that sounds like my cue to split. See you tomorrow, girlfriend.”

  I said goodbye, and after she had left, I headed upstairs with heavy footsteps.

  I dug around in my closet looking for suitable attire for a trip out to the Gorthlands. The weather could be so changeable in the Gorth landscape that I wanted something long-sleeved, functional, and hopefully still pretty sexy. I thought of my cashmere and merino sweaters under the bed. Fraidy’s sleep fortress. Bast! Even if I did reclaim one of my sweaters from my fortress building cat, I wouldn’t have time to de-fur it. I grabbed an emerald green hoodie. Hardly dress wear, but the hue enhanced my hair color somewhat. Hopefully, eye catching enough to attract the Chief’s interest, at least. I grabbed a pair of jeans, and hoped that I’d be able to squeeze myself into them. They looked like they might belong to a five year old. Jet wandered past me, looking up at my munchkin sized leg wear and tittered, shaking his fuzzy head at the same time. I threw a balled pair of socks at his rump, but my zippy cat was too fast. He caught the sock-ball and tossed it up in the air for Gloom to catch. A game of toss-the-sock ensued.

  “So, are you and the Chief Para Inspector going on a date?” Carbon asked flopping down on the floor beside my feet.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, Pyro Fuzzy,” I said as I zipped up my jeans. “But I’m actually going out to help David with the Morag Devlin case.”

  I winced a little as the jeans dug into the ample ring of excess flesh around my middle. The lengths we go to ….

  “Oh yeah?” He queried, rolling over onto his back to expose a plateau of silky black tummy. Carbon peered at me down the length of his body. “Picking up some info from Horace at the Moon?” He pressed.

  Deep down, I knew I was going to regret telling him the truth. But I did it anyway. “I’m going over to Gaunt Manor. We need to see Portia and—”

  The sock-ball game stopped abruptly, and Carbon jumped to his feet. Eight furry shapes approached me then, all with pleading in their eyes. Oh, Goddess.

  The chorus of begging meows began. It sounded worse than Saint Pendragon’s former beleaguered bell.

  “Shush … shush! Guys, stop,” I admonished my kitties.

  “C’mon, boss-lady.” Shade piped up. “Our fine and royal cousin resides at Gaunt Manor, and you expect us not to want to see her?” I couldn’t really argue with the little guy. The cats ADORED Portia’s current guest. Hinrika Jonsdottir, queen of the faeries, all the way from the Faroe Islands. I started with my feeble defense. Hinrika Jonsdottir’s arrival last month had given me the final confirmation on finding out that the Infiniti were Cait Sidhe. Fairy cats. Hinrika, being one hundred percent Fae herself had spotted the truth right away.

  “This is a murder inquiry, not a social call, guys. You know, you can go and see Hinrika on your own time. Any time you like.” I hoped that that would be enough.

  An eruption of kitty whining filled the air, as the cats directed their grumbles at me.

  I tried another angle. “Jet, I haven’t refilled your catnip yet. You think you’re brave enough for the big, bad outdoors without your fix?” I cautioned, hoping that the Infiniti would give up on this outing. Jet’s eyes filled with terror at my proposition. Finally, I thought. I smiled, thinking I’d won the battle this time.

  “Move over, fat-arse!” Gloom sniped at Fraidy. Movement on the back of the broom by the fidgeting cats made the besom dip alarmingly left. We brushed the upper most branches of a sycamore tree.

  “Guys! Enough!” I hollered back to them. Eight black heads turned toward me. Gloom’s eyes narrowed in annoyance.

  “You said you were going to behave,” I admonished.

  “What are you feeding this glutton?” Gloom demanded, pressing her paw on her timid brother’s head. “It’s like his posterior is spreading. Is he getting all the cod oil? No fair!” She griped. I turned my head forward, ignoring the kitty quarrel, looking for David. He flew up on our right side.

  “Hmm, didn’t know you were bringing the fur-babies,” he observed.

  “Neither did I,” I snapped. I felt the broom lurch again as Gloom leaped over to David’s ride. “There’s less stupidity and obesity here,” she announced, smirking at her abandoned brothers. David shook his head and zipped ahead of me, Gloom perched on the handle and offering her ‘follower’s’ a smug smile as she took the lead. I hea
rd Fraidy’s voice asking.

  “Is my bum putting on weight?”

  “No, bro, you’re good,” Eclipse encouraged. “You know how your sister gets when her personal space is invaded.”

  “Yeah, exactly the same way she gets when her space ISN’T invaded,” Midnight quipped.

  I rode on. With clenched teeth and white knuckles.

  The Gorthlands whizzed by below us, offering up a blended aroma of ammonia and sulphur, courtesy of the Gorth swamps and fens. The whole landscape was made up of some kind of bog land or other. The odd, blackened, petrified tree stump the only solid artifacts to break the monotony of the hazardous marshlands. Goddess only knew what those soupy swamps contained, but you could be sure whatever was in them, they had teeth and claws.

  We watched as David and Gloom swooped down to Gaunt Manor ahead of us. We followed, landing mere seconds later. Portia was on the stoop of the manor, (apparently waiting for our arrival,) a severe scowl on her face and her arms crossed defensively across her robed chest. Hinrika Jonsdottir stood behind her, in one of her trademark expensive gowns. Bran, she always looks like she’s going to cinderella’s ball. A chorus of cat ‘chirrups’ raced past me and I saw eight black kitties, tails erect, galloping toward the Queen of the Fairies. Seriously, why does she wear such expensive clothing when she knows they’re going to be in tatters within minutes. I watched as my cats hung, pendant-like, from her fine silk gown. Meowing with adoration for the bubbly Queen. Hinrika chortled, and spun around in ecstasy while the Infiniti raked impressive slits into her dress with their sprung claws. Portia rolled her eyes at my kittie’s antics, and then turned to narrow her gaze on David. The Chief stepped up to the first stair of Portia’s porch area, bringing him to eye level with the bad -tempered witch. Their rivalry was evident. I wondered briefly if these two would ever get their acts together and just finally make the peace. If their postures were anything to go by, then I’d say we had a long way to go yet.

  Portia came out of her corner first for round one.

  “You may be willfully stupid, Chief Para Inspector, but you’re usually consistent. I honestly expected you and your accusations much sooner than this.”

  “Why did you leave the scene of Morag’s death so quickly?” David wasted no time.

  Portia gave an indifferent shrug. “Because I had seen enough.”

  “Enough of what?”

  “Enough to know that Morag Devlin did not commit suicide. Even through the glowing haze of Ms. Jenkins’ Chimera Charm, it was easy to tell that she died well before she hit the ground.”

  Apparently, my cats weren’t the only ones to recognize the spell I’d woven. “Do you have any idea how I was able to do that?” I asked, hoping she could give me a hint.

  She turned to me with one of her rare gentle looks. “Such things are not for me to say, Hattie. You shall need to discover that on your own.”

  So much for hope. Okay, why does everyone have to talk in riddles?

  She turned back to David. “The only truly good thing to come of this bittersweet event was that Ms. Devlin was absolved of guilt and recrimination before her untimely demise. Thanks to Hattie. Or her dear, departed grandmother, at least. Whoever urged that magic forward is a powerful witch indeed.” Portia arched and eyebrow toward me. Her eyes sparkled with a kindness I’d either not seen or noticed before.

  “What were you arguing with her about at Saint Pendragon’s Church last week?” David asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. Jeez, this guy’s a pit bull once he gets going.

  “That’s categorically none of your business, CPI Trew.”

  “Is it ever in your eyes?” David retorted, raising and squaring his shoulders now. “You know I’ll still ask anyway.”

  Portia gave him a deathly rictus at his bluster. “Yes, doing something different would require more imagination than I know you possess.”

  Hinrika’s gales of laughter interrupted the tense conversation. The Fairy Queen was spinning and laughing and whispering unknown things to the cats, and then spinning and giggling again. It was pretty surreal. Gloom was sat atop the woman’s head, kneading the fairy’s snow white curly hair. Sadly, Glooms posterior was a little too ample for Hinrika’s fairly small head, so my kitty’s rear end was sliding down the fairy’s forehead until Gloom’s rump completely covered Hinrika’s eyes. The woman’s dress was in tatters.

  David and I had not officially ‘met’ the Queen of the fairies yet. Portia sensed our curiosity, and turned toward her cat-covered guest. Goddess, the woman was stunning. I mean, she was so surreally beautiful that she made Verdantia Eyebright look like a worn-out old boot. So, you know how good looking we’re talking here, right?

  “Lemniscate, that is enough now. Please step down from Hinrika,” Portia’s voice was low and menacing. Onyx was the first to turn toward her. He LOVED the word ‘Lemniscate,’ preferring it over the more modern ‘Infiniti.’ My sage cat bowed to Portia dramatically and hopped to the ground from Hinrika’s shoulder, urging his brothers and sisters to do the same. Finally, the Queen was free of black furry ornaments. I looked at her dress, feeling a sense of deep shame. She looked like a sail mast that had been shipwrecked off Cape Horn, her dress flapping in hopeless strips of fine silk. The cats sat at her feet looking adoringly at her. I know I can’t stop saying it, but Hinrika really was incredibly beautiful, even in a cat-slashed ballgown.

  “Hattie Jenkins, CPI David Trew, allow me to present Hinrika Jonsdottir, of the Faroe Islands. Fae Queen of Mainland and Coven Isles fairies alike.”

  Hinrika’s pale lips pulled back in an angelic smile.

  “Ack!” Fraidy darted for cover to a nearby pokeberry bush. The beautiful fairie's 'angelic' smile revealed the stuff of nightmares, and I almost bolted to join my scaredy-cat in the shrubbery. The seven remaining cats, sat, their jaws nearly on the floor, as they saw the horror that was Hinrika’s mouth. Queen Jonsdottir’s teeth and inside of her mouth was as black as my kitties’ fur. The sight was so at odds with the rest of her surreal beauty that nobody could say anything for a second. Portia sighed impatiently. “Hinrika is fond of Icelandic licorice. It’s her main sustenance, in fact.” The witch Fearwyn offered, noticing all of us recoiling in near terror. The fairy queen merely beamed through her black maw. The pokeberry bush shuddered violently.

  “Dude,” Shade bopped Onyx on the head with a firm paw, “How come we didn’t notice that … ‘mess’ before?”

  “I have no answers, dear brother.”

  “It is such a pleasure,” Hinrika chimed in a sing-song voice. “Portia has told me so much about you both,” She wafted over to us, her tattered sails blowing behind her. David was silent. I knew what he was thinking: 'Portia's been saying good things about me?'

  Hinrika’s eyes were a vivid blue. Almost a deep ultraviolet. I wish I could keep my gaze on them and not keep having them drawn back to her terrifying mouth.

  I dragged my stare back to her eyes. “Good things, I hope?” I asked, half jokingly.

  “But of course,” Hinrika said with a girlish giggle. “The very fact that you stand here on dear Portia’s doorstep should tell you as much.” Portia remained as silent as David. I knew what she was thinking: ‘Now he knows that I’ve spoken well of him.’ The pair were at a loss for words. Bliss!

  The Queen looked up suddenly as if remembering something. “Is it not nearly time for tea, Portia?”

  Portia glanced at David and visibly tensed. She must have been holding her breath too, as when she exhaled almost a full ten seconds later, her shoulders finally relaxed.

  “Yes. Do come in.” The old witch's words sounding just a little 'tight.' Hinrika shrieked like a little girl who had just been given a pony for her birthday. She whirled in a circle and skipped into the house, the Infiniti in tow.

  David stared after the retreating fairy, before looking at Portia. “How can anybody be that damned happy? She’s like Maude Dulgrey on steroids.”

  “I gave up on answering that question
two decades ago,” Portia replied. She waved an arm in front of her, and with stiff formality, Portia led David and me into her dwelling.

  We sat for nearly an hour. It turned out to be the most pleasant time I’d ever spent at Gaunt Manor. Portia was as reserved and formal as ever as our hostess, but Hinrika lit up the room. She cheerfully gossiped about things from her homeland in between sips of tea. True, I didn’t know half of what she was talking about, and David looked confused the entire time. She spoke half in Icelandic, a quarter in English, and the remainder in Fae speak. We couldn’t get a word in edgewise, but her musical voice made the atmosphere light and friendly. Even Gloom was in good spirits; her purr-box didn’t let up for even a moment. We drank iced berry tea, as it happened to be an unseasonably warm day, and ate fantastic lime and coconut scones. Hinrika munched on Icelandic liquorice only, her teeth becoming blacker as she chewed if that were at all possible. The cats had fresh Hippocampus cream poured into bone china saucers on the floor. They looked pretty cute with their white moustaches. I felt a rush of pride and love for my clowder.

  “So, Hattie,” Hinrika asked as Portia poured her a fifth cup of tea. “I understand that you run your family business, the Angel Apothecary?” Thank goodness, a sentence I can understand.

  Yes, I do. I inherited it from—“

  “Chimera Opal, your grandmother,” Hinrika said. “I knew her mother, Glendonite, quite well. A lovely woman. I see some of her loveliness in you, dear.”

  “Umm…thank you?” I blushed. I wasn’t expecting that. I saw David glance in my direction, but I just fiddled with the zipper on my hoodie.

  “I also have no doubt that you carry the family traditions, as well as any of your maternal forbearers ever did.”

  Her words made me pull out the apple wand. “Actually, there was something I was hoping you could tell me about—“