Risking Her Heart: A Contemporary Romance Novel

by Rochelle Katzman

  “Good,” Drake said in the dominant tone she loved.

  “He told me I should fight for you.”

  Drake raised his eyebrow. “And then you called my mother.”

  Livvie looked down at her clasped hands. “I called your mom, yes, but it wasn’t like that. She’d always wanted help writing her memoirs, and I wanted you. She told me to give it six weeks and then call her back. I used that time to find happiness within myself again, but that’s not the story I’m trying to tell you.” If Drake were going to act self-righteous and arrogant, what she was trying to get across to him wouldn’t work.

  Drake nodded. “Go on.”

  “I missed you terribly.” Livvie inhaled deeply. It wasn’t easy, feeling raw and vulnerable in front of another human being, especially with a man she didn’t want to lose.

  “Olivia, if you’re trying to legitimately fight for us, you have to tell me what’s going on in your mind.” He uncrossed and then crossed his arms again.

  “Can you at least sit down?” She needed him to be at her level, and right now she didn’t think she could stand.

  “No.”

  And with that one word, Livvie understood what was going on in his mind. He didn’t want to go down to her level. He wanted her to meet him at his. Even though what Drake had negotiated with her earlier was far from a guarantee, he wasn’t giving them an expiration date like the last time. For him, that was a huge step. And now it was her turn.

  “My novel is about a woman named Haley, from New York, who rented a cabin in the woods for a week. When she arrived at the cabin, she found that the travel agent had double booked the cabin. A man named Blake was staying there. Since they were both supposed to stay for the week and neither of them wanted to leave, they agreed to stay together.”

  “They stayed together for one week? Sounds familiar,” Drake chimed in.

  Livvie continued to tell the story as if he hadn’t interrupted her. She had to get it all out before she lost her courage. “At the beginning, they fought a lot, but then they fell in love.” Livvie paused and looked Drake straight in the eye. “I wrote the first fifty pages or so the week I stayed here. I wrote it in the journal you gave me. Once I was back in Los Angeles and thought you were out of my life for good, I switched to a journal I already had. I wanted a fresh start without a man. You saw that journal. Remember?”

  Drake nodded. Then she continued.

  “When you left me at my house in LA, I continued to write in my old journal. At this point, Haley and Blake were falling in love. But once they fell in love, I could no longer get the chapters to flow. No matter how hard I tried, something wasn’t working. And then I picked up the journal you gave me, and my writing changed, and the novel became better. Their intimacy felt real. That’s when I knew what I felt for you was stronger than anything I’ve felt before. Like the characters in my novel, my love for you was real. It felt right. And it terrified me, because you left me and didn’t return my feelings. At the same time, I refused to give up on us.” Livvie stopped talking. She was having a hard time reading Drake, and she felt foolish having revealed her heart to him. Her heart had bled in front of his eyes, and he was taking his time responding.

  “How did the story end?” he finally asked.

  Livvie exhaled. “Their week was over, and Haley was packing up her rental car. Blake had returned from a swim and saw her about to leave. He asked her why she was leaving, and she told him their week was up.” Livvie paused as she swallowed back the tears. “Then he asked her if she trusted him.”

  “What did she tell him?”

  Drake uncrossed his arms and put his hands in his pockets. He wanted to appear casual. Livvie knew better.

  “She told him she did.”

  “Of course she did,” Drake said a little too arrogantly.

  “But then he said he’d do anything to make them work. She could move to Raleigh, where he lived, or he would move to New York where she lived. And then he proposed.”

  Drake cleared his throat. “Did he agree to move to New York?”

  Livvie shook her head. “No, she wanted to move to him. But my point is, he was willing to do whatever it took to be with her.”

  “And I’m not,” Drake interrupted.

  “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m trying to explain what has been going on in my head since you left me in Los Angeles.” Livvie felt her cheeks flush and not from blushing. She loved Drake even when he was infuriating. “I’ve heard that writers write from their subconscious mind. I think I’m both Blake and Haley.”

  “Then who am I?” Drake interrupted again.

  Livvie groaned. “You’re the asshole I’m telling the story to.”

  Drake didn’t respond. Instead, he smirked, which irritated her more than she let on. She couldn’t let his reaction to her story stop her from getting her point across.

  “I want to trust you, Drake, and I want to do whatever it takes to make us work. You may not love me the way Blake loves Haley, but something about us feels right, like writing in the journal you got me.” Livvie blinked back tears, hoping it would stop them from spilling.

  Drake stood up straighter and glared down at her. Livvie gripped the sides of the bed again, preparing herself for the worst.

  “I never said I didn’t love you, Olivia. The problem is I love you too much.” Without waiting for her to respond, Drake stormed out of the bedroom.

  That was okay. She couldn’t think of a brilliant response. Because no matter how hard she gripped the bed, nothing could have prepared her for Drake finally admitting he loved her. Nothing at all.

  Until what he said sank in.

  Livvie took a deep breath and then stormed out of the room after him. She heard his footsteps walking down the stairs. Livvie ran until she was standing on the landing while he was already downstairs with his hand on the knob of the front door.

  “Is that the best you could do?” Livvie said loud enough for him to hear even as she was trying to catch her breath.

  Drake turned around. “You want me to be Blake.” His tone was stern, dark, and unnecessarily accusatory.

  “I don’t want you to be Blake. I told you I’m Blake. I want you to be yourself,” she said through clenched teeth.

  Drake ran his hands through his hair. “Well, I want to be Blake.”

  It took a moment for Livvie to register what he was saying. “So be Blake.” Livvie slowly walked down the stairs. She kept eye contact with Drake until she was a few feet away from him. Then it became too hard. So instead she looked past him, out the front window.

  “I won’t accept what we negotiated,” he said.

  Livvie panicked and brought her attention right back to him. Her heart felt as if someone had punched it.

  “Why?” she whispered.

  She watched Drake clench his jaw.

  “Because I hated the deal I came up with.”

  “I don’t understand,” she whispered.

  His eyes became a shade darker. “Do you trust me?”

  Livvie trembled. She didn’t know what he was getting at, but like Haley, her answer was important. “I trust our connection. I trust what we have, and I trust that I love you. Everything else will fall into place.”

  “But you’re scared I’ll hurt you.”

  That wasn’t what she’d have Blake say, but she still had to speak her truth.

  “Yes.” Even though he’d said it as a statement she answered him anyway.

  “Then can’t you see that what I negotiated with you can’t work? You’re scared I’ll hurt you, and I’m terrified of seeing the same look in your eyes that I always saw in my mother’s.”

  Livvie prayed she wouldn’t have a panic attack.

  “So you’d rather not have anything with me then?”

  Drake fisted his hands. “No, I’m saying we need to renegotiate.”

  Livvie could handle that. “Okay.”

  Drake stared at her for what seemed like forever before he finally spoke. �
�But not now.”

  Livvie’s heart sank. “Why?”

  Drake placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door.

  “Because I need to put myself in Blake’s shoes.”

  Technically, he was in Blake’s shoes, but Livvie didn’t want to stress that point. Before he walked outside, she grabbed his arm.

  “But I told you, I’m Blake.” She sounded desperate, and she was.

  Drake looked at her hard as he removed her hand from his arm.

  “A part of you may be Blake, but another part of you wants a man to step up and be like him.”

  “But I wrote him,” she said.

  Drake opened the door a little more and smiled softly at her. “Then you should have also written his evil twin.”

  Livvie wrinkled her forehead. “I don’t like books about evil twins.”

  “But then I’d have had a character that would be easy to emulate. You raised the bar high by creating Blake.”

  “Drake,” Livvie pleaded. “You’re not Blake.”

  Drake chuckled. “I want to be. Please, Olivia, let me be him. Blake doesn’t have the issues I have. And maybe knowing that makes what I’m about to do easier.” Drake turned around to leave.

  “What are you going to do?” Livvie asked before he stepped out.

  Drake responded but kept his back toward her.

  “Something I should have done six weeks ago.” Drake walked out the door. Then he turned back to her. “Wait in the living room for me, Olivia. Please don’t go back to the cottage and pack your things.”

  “Haley would have left.”

  “But Blake stopped her, and I’m stopping you now. Wait for me in the living room, and then we’ll renegotiate.”

  Drake turned and resumed walking. It looked as if he was heading to the garage. In his tone, he wasn’t asking her to stay. He was demanding she stay. Livvie would wait, regardless. She was trembling so hard she didn’t think she could walk all the way back to her cottage anyway. So instead, she closed the door and walked into the living room. She lay down on the couch and closed her eyes, not caring if anyone came into the room to see her like this. Haley would have waited for Blake like this. In her story, she may have been packing to leave, but she saw him step out of the lake and walk toward her. Blake was worth it, and Livvie knew without a doubt that Drake was worth waiting for, too.

  * * * * *

  Haley would have been much more patient than Livvie. She’d dozed off on the couch for the first hour or so, but now she was pacing back and forth like a crazy person. What was taking Drake so long? If she were writing the scene, she would have had Blake return a long time ago. Mr. Birkshire had stopped in a half hour ago, looked at her expression, and had walked back out. Smart man. She’d seen him walk upstairs. He’d probably gone to tell Veronica to stay away.

  After another fifteen minutes had passed, Livvie was about to do the one thing Drake had asked her not to do—walk back to her cottage and pack. But then, finally, the front door opened, and Drake stepped inside and walked into the living room.

  “Finally,” she said, stomping her foot.

  Drake smirked. “When I worked on Wall Street and I was negotiating with another party, if one party wasn’t happy with the terms, we’d renegotiate. And during that time, new paperwork was drawn up. We could wait days if not weeks for the paperwork to be done. You only had to wait two hours and seventeen minutes. You have no idea how lucky you are.”

  Livvie placed her hands on her hip. “Are you serious?”

  Drake threw his keys on the glass coffee table and sat in the large, brown leather chair next to the couch.

  “Yes. I am. Sit.” Drake nodded toward the couch.

  “Sit?” she asked.

  Drake clenched his jaw. “Olivia, if we’re going to start the negotiations with you repeating everything I say, we’re not going to get anywhere. And we’re not leaving this room until we’ve signed off on a deal.”

  That she could live with. Livvie sat in the middle of the couch. Not too close to him, but not too far away, either.

  “Okay.” Drake cleared his throat. “So here’s what I came up with. Are you ready?”

  Livvie nodded. It was either now or never. Drake leaned forward in the chair with his elbows leaning against his thighs and his fingertips touching like a steeple in a church.

  “Good. I’m going to start by going over specific bullet points. Bullet point one: I’d like you to stay here while you’re writing my mother’s book. Do you agree?”

  Livvie swallowed. “Yes, I agree.”

  Drake nodded. “Bullet point two: Instead of you sleeping in my guest cottage, I’d like you to sleep here in my bedroom with me. Do you agree?”

  Livvie’s heartbeat sped up. She put her hair behind her ear and sat up straighter.

  “Yes, I agree.”

  “Bullet point three: Once the book is finished, I’d like you to move up here permanently.”

  Livvie inhaled loudly, and Drake continued.

  “Hear me out, Olivia. Your dream is to write novels, and you don’t need to stay in Los Angeles to do that. And it’s not that I’m unwilling to move there, but my vineyard is here.” Drake paused. “Do you agree?”

  Tears were blurring her eyes, but she couldn’t help bursting out into a smile. “Yes, I agree. I love your vineyard, and I can’t imagine living anywhere else with you.”

  “If you stay with me forever, the vineyard will be yours, too.”

  Livvie’s heart stopped ferociously beating. She unconsciously rubbed her hands up and down her jeans and then wiped the one and only tear that had fallen.

  “What are you saying?” she whispered.

  Drake stood and pushed the heavy leather chair back. Then he did the one thing Livvie never thought he’d do. He got down on one knee and took out a black box from his pocket. He opened the box, revealing the most beautiful diamond ring she had ever seen.

  “Marry me, Olivia. I love you, and the negotiations I came to you with earlier were garbage. Not meant for a beautiful, intelligent, kind, loving woman like you. You deserved so much more than what I was offering you. And it took what you told me about your character Blake for me to realize it’d be foolish to lose the woman I love when there were ways to stop that from happening.” Drake paused. “I want to be your Blake, Olivia. I want to give you the world. Besides, you were right. How could you trust me if I didn’t earn it? And I can’t imagine my life without you. I lived it for six weeks, and I was miserable. Just ask Mr. Birkshire.”

  Livvie laughed softly. “You don’t have to marry me for me to trust you, Drake. I’m willing to agree to your terms and see what happens.”

  He shook his head. “But I want to marry you. And if you have my mother’s look in your eyes from time to time, then we’ll talk about it. I realized I didn’t want you to see me as Liam or Zach, yet I was seeing you the way I saw my mother when I was growing up. And that wasn’t fair.”

  “You’re right,” she said quietly.

  “So then I thought that in business I’m either all in or I’m nothing. With you I’m choosing to be all in.”

  “But, Drake, you haven’t known me very long. What if you fall out of love with me?”

  “Trust me, I won’t. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you in my entrance hall, looking all flustered. No, even before that…when my camera caught you on the bottom of my hill, looking up at my castle. You’re real, Olivia. You’re a gift. You wear your emotions on your sleeve. And you’re also beautiful and as sexy as hell.” He looked at her deeply. “Will you be all in with me? Will you marry me?”

  Livvie didn’t need a second to answer. She kneeled down with him and threw herself into his arms. Then she grabbed his face, kissed him on the lips, and looked into his mesmerizing eyes.

  “Yes, Drake Morganthal. I agree to your terms.”

  Drake grabbed her by the back of her head and kissed her hard. But when they heard the sound of clapping, they literally jumped.

>   “You haven’t placed the ring on her finger, darling.”

  Veronica and Mr. Birkshire were standing by the entrance, both of them beaming. Livvie had to take a second look because Mr. Birkshire was smiling. Miracles do happen.

  “Mother, how long have you been standing there?” Drake said with a twinkle in his eye.

  “Long enough, dear. Now place the ring on her finger.”

  Drake rolled his eyes, and Livvie laughed. Then he took her hand and placed the beautiful diamond ring on her finger. Finally, it sank in. She was engaged to Drake.

  “It’s beautiful.” She kissed him again. And then she stood and grabbed Drake. She turned toward Mr. Birkshire and Veronica and became serious again. She had no choice. It felt imperative that they hear her out. “Let’s keep this between us, if that’s okay.”

  “What do you mean? I want to tell the world,” Drake said.

  “Well, I’d like to tell my parents and Carly, of course. But I want the next six months to be just about us. The minute this gets out, the media will go nuts.”

  “She’s right, dear,” Veronica said.

  “I’d have to agree, too. Look at what happened with the pictures and videos from the club,” Mr. Birkshire added.

  “I don’t give a damn about that,” Drake yelled.

  Livvie blushed. “But I do. I want the world to know you’re a trustworthy and decent man. The way the media portrayed you for all of these years was wrong and unfair.”

  “Olivia, I was a playboy who didn’t treat women well.”

  Livvie hugged him tighter. “But those days are gone.”

  “You might as well listen to her and get used to it, dear,” Veronica chimed in.

  Drake exhaled dramatically. “Okay, fine. But six months from today, the word gets out that we’re engaged, and three months after that, we get married. Here, at my vineyard. Unless you don’t want to.”

  Livvie laughed. “I’ll marry you anywhere.” She looked down at her ring, and then she looked into Drake’s eyes. But she had one more question.

  “Drake, I have a serious question for you, and if you don’t answer, I won’t marry you.” She saw the look in everyone’s eyes; they were filled with dread, especially Drake’s.