If We Fall

by K. M. Scott

Leaning forward, I felt his cock slip out of me. I turned around and fell onto the bed, exhausted and unable to walk, just as he’d promised. Looking up at him as he sat back on his heels, I let my gaze glide over the muscular peaks and valleys of his beautiful body and the array of tattoos on his arms and chest and felt my desire to have him inside me rise again. Smiling proudly, he looked like some victorious hero.

  “You always look very pleased with yourself after we’re done, you know that? It’s very sexy.”

  He crawled up my body and rested his head on the pillow next to me as his legs draped over mine. “I love watching you while I fuck you. You’re so beautiful and so open for me, like your body was meant just for my cock.”

  I kissed him, loving how sexy I felt because of his words. “You were right. I can barely move my legs, much less walk.”

  Grinning, he leaned back. “Then my job is done here.”

  When he was cute like that, like when he and I spent time together in the spare bedroom right after he got to the estate, I couldn’t help love him even more. We’d been so innocent back then. I’d been in love with him even before I had to leave for Italy, but still, things were so innocent.

  He gave me something sweet I’d never had before, and I adored him for it.

  Ryder touched my cheek and whispered, “Hey, where did you go there? You looked a million miles away.”

  I turned toward him and snuggled in the space between his neck and chin, nuzzling just under his ear. “I was just thinking about when we first met.”

  “It feels like forever ago, doesn’t it?”

  “It does. Promise me something, okay?”

  He looked down at me and tilted my head back so we faced each other. “Anything. You know that.”

  I looked up into those green eyes so full of emotion and swore I’d never forget that. “Promise me no matter what happens for the rest of our lives, we’ll remember how we were back then?”

  A smile slowly spread across his mouth, and he softly kissed me on the forehead. “I never want to forget that time. That’s where we started.”

  “I don’t want to either. I never want to forget what made me fall in love with you.”

  “Bruises, tats, and muscles as I sat in the bathtub?” he joked.

  I shook my head and kissed him on the cheek. “No. You made me feel loved and safe. I’d never felt like that before you came here.”

  Ryder pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. “You are loved, and I swear I will always protect you, Serena. Always.”

  From others, I may have doubted those words and feared they were meaningless and hollow. But not from Ryder. He’d proved time and again that he was the only person I could trust to keep me safe.

  I may have found more strength than I ever thought I possessed now that Cayden was in my life, but we needed Ryder more than ever because my father still hadn’t gotten his way.

  And that was always a risk I knew all too well.

  Chapter Six

  Serena

  “Ryder, I want my mother to see Cayden. It’s been a month already since he came home. I’ve been as patient as I can be, but she’s okay and I want her to meet her grandson.”

  He sighed and nodded, as if he’d resigned himself to me eventually asking for this. That didn’t mean he liked the idea, though.

  Looking back to make sure the nursery door was closed, he took a step closer to me and lowered his voice. “I know, but it’s dangerous. Your father hasn’t given up on finding her, Serena. He sent Jesse to kill her, and I don’t believe for a second he doesn’t still want that. Just because he’s acting like grandfather of the year doesn’t change who he is.”

  I knew all of this and still needed my mother to meet Cayden. I tried to find the words to explain to Ryder why this meant so much to me. “I’m sure you’re right, but I need for her to know our son. I spent too many years with her gone from my life, and I don’t want to repeat that with him.”

  “She’s messaged twice,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper. “I know where she is, but I’m not sure it’s safe, Serena.”

  Cayden opened his mouth wide to yawn and closed his eyes, so I laid him down in his crib. After kissing him on the forehead, I turned back to Ryder, who stood watching him intently.

  “I wish you could see the look on your face. That’s what my mother is missing. I want her to have the chance to fall in love with him like we have. We can do this. I know we can. We just have to be safe.”

  Ryder lightly pressed his finger to my lips and looked up toward the ceiling. He scanned the room before returning his focus to me. “I’m not even sure it’s safe to speak like this anywhere in this house. In the two weeks I’ve been working down in the security room, I’ve found more than a few strange things that make me think he might have parts of the estate bugged.”

  The uncertainty in his eyes worried me. I knew if he was worried that I had very good reason to be concerned too.

  In his ear, I whispered, “There’s got to be a way. She’s his grandmother. I want her to see our son and get to spend time with him. I don’t want to wait until we figure out where she’s going to go and if we’re going too.”

  Leaning away from him, I looked into his eyes and hoped he understood why this meant so much to me. “Please don’t say no to this.”

  “Give me a little time to figure out a way to make sure it’s safe. I don’t want to risk Robert having us tailed and finding out where she is.”

  I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him for giving me this. “Thank you! This means so much to me. Thank you for understanding.”

  * * *

  Sitting on the edge of our bed, I finished feeding Cayden and watched him babble in happiness at having a full belly. I looked down into his sleepy face as his eyelids fluttered closed and he lay there in my arms.

  A noise outside in the hallway tore me from my reverie, and I looked up to see Ryder closing the door quickly behind him. The look on his face said something was wrong.

  “If you want to go see her, now’s the time. Your father and his guys are off to some meeting for a few hours.”

  I looked down at my son so content and asleep in my arms and then back at Ryder as I buttoned up my shirt. “Okay. Okay. Let me just get him ready. I didn’t think it would be this soon. It’s only been a day since I asked you about it.”

  “There isn’t much time. I wrote down the directions, so just use them and don’t put anything into the GPS, just in case. You won’t have more than a couple hours, so keep that in mind.”

  He handed me the piece of paper and took Cayden from me so I could put on a pair of shoes. I looked at him and wondered why he wasn’t getting ready too.

  “You aren’t coming?”

  Smiling down at the baby who had opened his eyes, he shook his head. “No, I can’t risk it. It looks suspicious if we’re both gone. This way it just looks like you took Cayden out to enjoy the nice weather.”

  “Okay. I’ll have my phone with me if you need to call me or text me to let me know anything. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. Is she expecting us?”

  Ryder kissed the baby on the cheek and handed him to me. “Yeah. I talked to Michael about a half hour ago when I found out about your father’s meeting. She can’t wait to see you two.”

  I pressed a kiss onto Ryder’s lips and wished he could come with us for this first meeting. “I love you. I’ll see you in few hours, okay?”

  He smiled and walked toward the bedroom door. Stopping just before he opened it, he turned toward me and said, “Don’t take any pictures. I know you want to, but we have to be careful, Serena. Okay?”

  Anger rose inside me, making me want to scream. “No pictures? I can’t live like this for much longer, Ryder. Something has to give. I should be able to take pictures of Cayden and his grandmother together for the first time. It’s never going to happen again.”

  Cradling my face in his palms, he nodded and I saw real sympathy in his eyes
. “I know, but for now, this is how things are. We have to be careful or he might find her. We can’t risk that. Now go and I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  I knew he was right, but I hated living like this. I knew we had to stay there at the estate for a little while Ryder made enough money to send my mother someplace she could be safely hidden away and my father couldn’t find her, but I didn’t know how long I could stand being around him knowing what kind of person he really was.

  At least my father had begun paying him for real and not just putting money into some account he could never touch. We had Cayden to thank for that since he seemed convinced babies required a great deal.

  But more and more, I couldn’t stand the idea of living in the same house as my father.

  I drove the car to the exit written on the piece of paper Ryder gave me and looked at the signs on the side of the road for Wisteria. Three other towns were listed above an arrow pointing left, but none by the name I saw written on the paper in my hand.

  Turn right off the exit ramp and drive two miles, past an old barn with a sun painted on it, to Railroad Street in Wisteria. The house will be in the middle of the street. White house with blue shutters. Park on the street and go to the door at the back of the house.

  Following his directions, I reached the house a few minutes later just as Cayden began fussing. Unlike other babies, car rides never seemed to lull him into a deep sleep. He was like me that way. I never liked long car rides either.

  “It’s okay, honey. We’re here. Just wait. You get to meet your grandma today, so give me a few seconds to park the car and we’ll go in.”

  He made a grunting noise that said my talking didn’t make him any happier about being in his car seat for so long, and I quickly found a parking spot and got the two of us out of the car.

  Just like when I walked up to that tiny carriage house a few months before, my heart pounded hard in my chest as I grew excited at seeing my mother again. This time, though, I had something even better than just myself for her.

  This time I had her one and only grandchild for her to meet for the very first time.

  The door slowly opened and just like last time, my mother stared out in shock, her dark eyes wide as she looked at Cayden nestled in my arms. Waving us in, she reached out to take him and with a big smile said, “Oh, he’s beautiful, Serena. Cayden, I’m your grandmother. It’s so wonderful to meet you.”

  As if he knew exactly who she was, he turned his tiny mouth up into a smile, bringing tears to her eyes. I knew just how she felt. I’d been the same way the first time I saw him.

  I closed the door behind us and followed her to the couch. “I’m so happy Ryder found a way for us to meet you, Mom. I’ve wanted you to see the baby all month.”

  She gazed at him like she’d never seen anything so wonderful in her life before finally looking up with tears in her eyes. “I always dreamed of this moment, you know that? I think I just naturally thought of it with a granddaughter, but this is even better than I ever imagined. He’s perfect, honey.”

  “He is, isn’t he? Sometimes after I feed him, I’ll sit with him in my arms while he goes to sleep and all I do is stare at him and wonder how it’s possible he could be so perfect.”

  My mother slid her finger into one of his palms, and Cayden instinctively wrapped his tiny fingers around hers. “He’s strong. He gets that from his father, I bet,” she said with a smile.

  “I hope he’s as strong as Ryder when he grows up.”

  “I owe Ryder my life, Serena. If it wasn’t for him, both Michael and I would have been dead that night.”

  Hearing her praise him meant the world to me. “That’s the kind of man he is, Mom. He’s saved me so many times. And he’s terrific with the baby too.”

  “Good,” my mother said with a nod. “I want you to know I don’t worry about you anymore because I know he’s protecting you.”

  “He is. We have to stay where we are for the time being, but you don’t have to worry about me. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. Even Daddy.”

  My mother’s expression grew dark at hearing we’d be staying at the estate for now. Frowning, she sighed and turned her attention back to Cayden. “I want both of you to be careful. I don’t put anything past him anymore.”

  “I know,” I admitted sadly, hating the truth about my father. “I knew he’d be angry we were talking, but I never imagined he’d send someone to kill you.”

  She looked up at me and shook her head. “Not just me, Serena. Michael too.”

  “Why would he want to kill his gardener?” I wondered, unless it was because my father knew he’d help her escape because he was a kind person.

  My mother took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she tenderly stroked Cayden’s cheek. “Michael wasn’t just the gardener, Serena. He’s my son and your brother.”

  Her words hit me like a bolt of lightning. My brother? I didn’t have a brother. I knew my father well enough to know that if he had a son, that child would be by his side, not exiled to some house in the country. Whoever this Michael person was and whatever reason my mother called him her son, he wasn’t my father’s. That I knew for certain.

  “How? When? It’s always just been Janelle and me. We don’t have a brother.”

  “You do, honey. Michael is my son with another man. After your father sent me to that house, I was sad and lonely. My life was over. I’d lost you two girls and I wasn’t sure I could go on. But one of the men who worked on the grounds at the house there helped me see life was worth living, and we fell in love. Jonathan took care of me, and as things happen, I became pregnant.”

  My mouth hung open in shock. I had a brother. Quickly, my mind did the math. A brother seven years younger than me? I thought about meeting Michael that one time and how close to my age he looked. It all seemed to fit.

  “Why didn’t his father get you away from that place all those years ago when he found out you were having his child?” I asked, my heart contracting at the very idea that my mother had been abandoned by not one but two men.

  “Because he never had the chance. Your father had him killed when he found out, leaving me pregnant and alone. I was worried he might kill me then too or take the child away from me when I had a boy, but he simply left us out there.”

  She hadn’t been abandoned. Once again, my father had punished her for simply trying to find a tiny sliver of happiness. Anger coursed through me at how many of us had suffered because of him.

  “I’m so sorry, Mom. I can’t believe how evil he is. So he just left you out there to raise a child on your own?”

  Nodding, she sighed and looked down at Cayden. “Yes. I raised Michael on my own. Nobody knew he was there. He never went to school or anywhere off the estate. When he became a teenager, your father made him the gardener. It was his way of showing he possessed all the power, and he controlled us completely.”

  “Why didn’t he take you away from there?”

  “The little money your father paid him he spent to make sure I was taken care of, Serena. He stayed even when he became an adult and could have left to make a better life for himself in the world. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for Michael.”

  All of this made me hate my father even more. My mother, Janelle, Michael, Ryder, and I had all suffered because of my father’s need to rule over us with an iron fist.

  “Has he known about Janelle and me the whole time?”

  Cayden began to cry, so I took him into my arms and gently patted his back as she told me about my brother. “I told him when he was a teenager that he had two sisters. I think at first he didn’t understand how since it had been just the two of us for his entire life, but when he met you that day, he instantly felt a closeness with you. He hopes someday to meet Janelle too. He doesn’t expect you to just start thinking of him as your brother, but I wish you’d give him a chance. For me.”

  “Of course! I don’t hold anything against him, Mom. Is that why he isn’t here now? He didn
’t have to stay away. I’d never want that for anyone just because of me.”

  My mother waved off my concerns. “No, he had to go out to get us some food for dinner later. He just figured I’d like the chance to meet my grandson for the first time if it was just the three of us. He’ll be here next time. I hope there will be a next time because I want to be in Cayden’s life, Serena.”

  “There will be,” I reassured her as Ryder’s warnings repeated in my brain. “We just have to be careful. We can’t let Daddy find out where you are. We can’t trust that he won’t try to kill you again.”

  That I had to even say those words still amazed me. My father had lied all those years about my mother’s whereabouts, and then when I finally had the chance to reconnect with her, the monster had tried to kill her. He truly was the embodiment of evil.

  We sat there silently as the truth of who my father was hung in the air between us. I wished I was like other children of wealthy families who had money at their disposal so I could just get all of us away from Robert Erickson’s twisted world where he relished devising ways of punishing us for unknown and uncommitted crimes against him.

  The baby made a little cooing noise that brought me out of my thoughts. Gently rubbing his belly, I couldn’t help but smile. Even in the midst of all the madness my father forced on everyone around him, Cayden made life brighter just by being in it with us.

  “How is your father with the baby, Serena?”

  Just the question made me bristle. From the moment my father first saw my son, he had taken liberties with him that made me uneasy. The mere act of his holding Cayden before Ryder had the chance to seemed far too ominous for me.

  His redesign of Janelle’s room into a beautiful nursery had at first seemed like a generous gesture, but more and more it felt like my father had begun to transfer his obsession with Ryder to Cayden.

  “I don’t know, Mom. He hasn’t done anything that from the outside would seem troublesome, but all the same, I’m worried. Ryder is too.”

  Her eyes filled with fear, even as she tried to keep her voice calm and measured. “As long as you haven’t seen anything yet. I want you to keep your eyes open, though, okay? Make sure Ryder protects Cayden. If he was girl, I wouldn’t be as worried, but because he’s a boy…”