Summer of the Viking

by Michelle Styles

  ‘I have an added incentive.’ He dropped a kiss on her forehead. ‘I can now steal a kiss with impunity.’

  ‘As long as that is all you intend...’ She glanced over her shoulder.

  His eyes grew serious. ‘I live in hope for more. What happened just now was beyond all reckoning, Alwynn. Truly.’

  Her heart turned and she wished that there wasn’t going to be an ending, but she had to be realistic. Things like that only happened in bard’s tales. In real life, one had to be practical and pragmatic. One had to face up to hard choices.

  Valdar had another life somewhere, a life which she had no part of. Come autumn he would return there and she’d be left with her memories.

  What was between them was physical. It had to be. She could keep it that way. She had changed from the naive woman who ignored the facts, preferring only to see the beauty in the world.

  She turned a deaf ear towards that little part of her which whispered liar.

  ‘We fit well together but that is as far as it goes. When you depart, I will shed no tears. The here and now is our pledge.’

  Something faded from his eyes. ‘I expected no less.’

  Chapter Ten

  Valdar hurried through his tasks, trying to get things done as efficiently and in as short a time as possible.

  However, everyone appeared to have heard about his altercation with Cleofirth and the recovery of the missing sheep and they all wanted a word. He was left in no doubt that Cleofirth was little liked. Several of the wives brought small gifts to welcome him.

  The gifts touched him more than he thought possible. These people trusted him and seemed excited when he spoke about repairing roofs and mending walls. And yet he knew if they were aware of his heritage, they would turn their backs on him. But each time he fixed a wall or had a look at a plough, he knew he was making things easier for Alwynn after he left. He was giving her a chance.

  ‘What is all this?’ Alwynn asked, coming into the scriptorium and eyeing the cheese, bread and eggs that he’d been given this morning.

  ‘Bounty from grateful tenants.’ He shook his head. ‘Where I come from, they expect far more from their overlord.’

  A frown appeared between her arched brows. ‘My husband preferred to forget that he had any duty except for drinking and hunting.’

  And whoring, Valdar silently added. Several of the farmers’ wives had whispered the rumours, particularly about Urien and why she had been married to Cleofirth with such haste.

  It was also clear from their joining that Alwynn was new to physical pleasure.

  ‘I simply want to leave this place better than when I arrived.’

  Something tugged at his heart. He never became too close to the thralls who worked his land. So why did these people matter to him?

  She set down her basket of flowers. ‘You already have. I saw the work you did to the barns this morning. New stabling for Purebright. Merri is thrilled.’

  ‘It was nothing. There had been a small hole in the thatch.’

  He gave in to impulse and drew her into his arms. She smelt of summer flowers and sunshine. All things good. He lifted her chin and tasted her mouth.

  She yielded for a long heartbeat, but then drew back, glancing over her shoulder. ‘We must be circumspect.’

  He closed the door with a decisive click. ‘You mean like this?’

  A laugh bubbled from her throat. ‘That is one way of doing it.’

  ‘Perhaps the only way.’

  She leant her head against his shoulder. Her hand reached up and stroked his hair. He turned his face and kissed her palm. ‘Now, about this reading and writing you plan on teaching me. I want to learn.’

  Her eyes danced and he knew he’d stay with her until the last possible moment. ‘Is that why you are here?’

  ‘Why else? I plan to be an attentive pupil.’

  * * *

  A week later, the garden hummed with bees in the hot summer sun.

  For once, the rain had held off and the flowers bloomed. Alwynn concentrated on pulling the weeds while she hummed a new tune, trying to work out what she’d sing for Valdar after supper. It turned out that he could play the harp after a fashion and his voice complemented hers.

  Everything about him complemented her. She’d never known anyone as easy to be with. They could sit together and the silences were not awkward. She kept telling her heart that miracles didn’t happen, but in her heart she kept hoping. Somehow, they’d find a way to be together.

  She rocked back on her heels. ‘No.’

  The lavender had flowered. Early. She would have to collect it to dry, but it always seemed to herald the start of the late-summer flowers. Early summer was behind her.

  The swifts’ chicks had hatched from their nests. Soon they would be off to their winter home. They were amongst the last birds to arrive and the first to leave, according to her late father.

  She should have known that it was too good to last. The blooming lavender was a sign of that. Time was moving on. They were going to have to end. Valdar was going to have to return to his past.

  Out of habit, she picked a sprig. Normally she loved the scent.

  Whom was she kidding? She wanted to slow down time and make each day last a lifetime. She wasn’t ready for it to end and she knew she had lied that first day they made love.

  When he went, she might not weep in front of him, but she would weep into her pillow for many nights.

  The here and now. She had to stop thinking about the bleak future.

  ‘You are a sight worth waiting for.’ Valdar’s voice rolled over her. ‘I have searched for you in three different places, my elusive lady. I had almost given up, but then I heard the most wondrous sound, like a stream playing on the rocks, and I knew it was you, singing in the garden. What was the song? I have never heard it before.’

  She put her hand to her throat. She had been singing. Her heart leapt. ‘Something I made up.’

  ‘You must sing it for me properly so I can truly appreciate it.’

  Her heart did a little jump. When she had been younger, she used to dream of her husband returning and being pleased to find her in the garden. Theodbald had never sought her out. He had never wanted to hear her songs. But she’d stopped singing when he’d gone. Of all the things he had taken from her, it was the one thing she resented the most. But now her voice had returned. She had started singing because of Valdar. ‘When it is perfect.’

  ‘You look perfect to me. Any song you choose to sing will be perfect.’ He came over and put his arms about her waist, pulling her against his hard body. His mouth covered hers for a long and soul-satisfying kiss.

  She allowed herself a moment of pleasure before escaping. ‘Someone might see us. Merri—she can’t keep a secret.’

  He looked over his shoulder. ‘Nobody is here and I have been thinking about this all day. It made Owain’s complaints about the sheep enclosures more bearable. They are fixed for now, but the gate on the left-hand one will need to be replaced next spring.’

  ‘You thought of me while you were supposed to be seeing to the sheep enclosures? What sort of steward are you?’

  ‘The very best sort.’ He put his hand about her waist and drew her into the circle of his arm. ‘You will be pleasantly surprised by how good the harvest will be. The fine weather is bringing everything on. And I come to find you like this in the garden. My day is complete.’

  ‘You are very full of yourself.’

  He ran his hand down her back, cupping her bottom. ‘I’d rather be full of you like I was yesterday and the day before. What new place will you have us go to? Some day I would like to spend an entire night wrapped around you.’

  Her cheeks burnt, but her heart nearly burst with its dreams. ‘Valdar!’

  ‘You react beautifully to teasing.’ He paused. ‘I stopped by to check on Urien on the pretext of being worried about scabies and Cleofirth’s sheep. To ask her if she had seen any sign of it.’

  Alwynn rest
ed her head against his chest. The problem with Urien remained no nearer a solution. Despite going out to see her several times at Gode’s, the woman always defended her husband and spoke about returning to him once Lord Edwin returned and her name was cleared. She still insisted that it was the Northmen and Cleofirth would find the proof.

  ‘How is she?’

  ‘Jumps at every noise. And her hands are never still.’

  ‘The woman I knew was never like that.’

  ‘Give her time.’

  Alwynn closed her eyes. Time, something she had too little of. ‘Thank you. Have you been back to Cleofirth’s as well?’

  ‘I believe Cleofirth is aware of our suspicions. But I am not sure he is in a hurry to get his wife back. Owain told me that he has his eye on a wench from the tavern. He has been drinking heavily.’

  Alwynn gulped hard. The news Cleofirth had another woman saddened rather than surprised her. ‘Gode needs to be aware of it. She might let the news slip and it isn’t what Urien needs.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Is that right?’

  ‘No secret is safe with Gode.’ Alwynn waved a hand. ‘Ever. Sooner or later she tells. She has always been this way.’

  Valdar put his hands on her shoulders and his face turned grave. ‘Hopefully the situation will be sorted before...’

  ‘Before the summer ends,’ she finished saying for him. ‘It will be soon. The lavender has started flowering.’

  His brow knitted and he tilted his head to one side. ‘Is that important?’

  ‘The dried flowers help to keep the bedding sweet in the winter. I didn’t realise time had moved on so quickly. I want each day to last for ever.’

  He cupped her cheek and the simple touch sent a spear of warmth through her. ‘So do I, but it seems the more I hold on, the quicker time goes.’

  She raised herself up on her tiptoes and brushed his lips. ‘We are doing what we can.’

  He put his arms about her waist and deepened the kiss. Her entire body reacted. He was a drug that she could not get enough of. He had become necessary to her well-being. He was the best man she’d ever met.

  A small cry shocked her back to her senses.

  She turned her head to see Merri running off. They had been so careful. And now this. Her body ached where he had touched her. His lips were against her ear, suckling and murmuring.

  ‘Merri!’ She pushed against Valdar, freed herself from his seductive spell.

  At his questioning glance, she explained, ‘Merri saw us. Together. Just now. She will tell everyone because it will only fuel the fantasy she has. She likes to believe you’re a prince and will marry me. If she tells...’

  He caught her arm. Concern was etched on his face. ‘Do you want me to fetch her? It will give you some time to compose yourself. Merri will understand why things need to be kept quiet.’

  ‘No, I will go and speak to her.’ She shook her head. It amazed her that he wanted to do something like that for her. He made her feel cherished. ‘I should have been more careful. This is why we should never have...’

  He lifted her chin so she looked in his wonderfully expressive eyes. ‘I’m not ready to give you up, Alwynn.’

  ‘You don’t know how tempting that is, but I must tell her that...that we are friends. Yes, friends.’ She held out her hands. ‘Shall we speak no more of it? Let us be friends. We made an agreement. I mean to keep to it.’

  He inclined his head. His eyes hardened to stone. ‘Forget I asked. Of course we keep to the agreement. Have I suggested otherwise? I simply wanted you to know that you had options. You’re not alone.’

  ‘You mustn’t worry about me.’

  ‘I’ll always worry. Wherever I am.’

  Her heart clenched. She had hurt him, but it was the right thing to do. And she knew she could never go back to their old agreement. She needed his touch too much. ‘I will find a way, Valdar. Merri will have to learn to hold her tongue around the others.’

  Valdar watched her walk away. He crushed the lavender between his fingers. He wanted Alwynn in his bed and by his side. He wanted to know what she was thinking, to protect her, to cherish her. But he had no rights. He knew why the gods had given him this second chance and what they expected him to do. This was but a fleeting period in his life, though he would remember it for the rest of his days.

  As if she could read his thoughts, she turned back. ‘You do think I am doing the right thing?’

  ‘Seeing Merri on her own? Of course.’ He snapped his fingers. ‘Easier on the both of us. You will have to deal with her when I go in any case. I’ll keep out of the way. I want to take another look at the sheep enclosures on the home farm. Just let me know how you put it.’

  ‘I understand completely.’ She walked away from him and there was nothing he could do to bring her back.

  * * *

  Alwynn discovered Merri in the stables.

  The girl was sitting hunched up next to Purebright, her head resting on her knees.

  ‘Merri?’ she said, holding out her hand.

  The girl raised her head. Instead of tears, her eyes danced. ‘I saw you. Kissing Valdar. You never kissed my father like that. Ever. You looked so happy. You’ve even started singing again. You don’t know how I’ve longed for it. Of all the things my father caused, that was the worst.’

  ‘Your father had little to do with it.’ Alwynn gave a careful shrug. She refused to have Merri thinking any more bad thoughts about her father. ‘It was more that I didn’t have time to think, let alone sing. With Valdar here, I’ve more time.’

  ‘You’re singing because you’re happy. Some day Valdar and you will marry. He is a prince in disguise and all your dreams will come true.’

  Alwynn shook her head. ‘You must stop speaking nonsense. It shouldn’t have happened. Think about what Father Freodwald would have said.’

  ‘But it did! And Father Freodwald isn’t here. He is stuffing his fat face at Lord Edwin’s.’ She clapped her hands. ‘Are you going to marry Valdar? Has he asked you? I know he wants to. I can see it in his eyes. They follow you whenever you are near. He has made you beautiful, Stepmother. He’ll stay if you ask him.’

  Alwynn shook her head. Here she thought they had been so careful. Probably everyone had noticed. She had to hope that no one truly knew how far things had gone. ‘He has another life, a life which has nothing to do with either of us.’

  Merri’s face became mutinous. ‘He kissed you. It has to count for something. It will be just like a bard’s tale. Only better because it is really real. Like you giving me Purebright.’

  Alwynn’s heart squeezed. The last thing she wanted was to destroy Merri’s innocence. There would be time enough for her to learn about men. She leant down and patted Merri’s hand. The girl’s slender fingers curled around hers. ‘Men are like that. And let’s keep the tales where they belong—for after supper. In real life, sometimes we have to make hard choices and there isn’t a happy ending.’

  ‘Let him know how you feel!’ Merri jumped up and began to pace about the stable. ‘We need a warrior here. Someone else could look after his lands. Someone is looking after them now. If he had died out on the sea, they would have had to look after them for ever. He has no need to return there to his past. He should think about his future.’

  ‘If only it was that simple...’ Alwynn hated how her heart leapt. She had thought that she could keep her heart out of it, but she knew she hadn’t. Secretly she had been hoping that a solution would present itself, but asking Valdar to stay wasn’t one of them. His past was also his future. He needed to go back. He might not have a wife or children, but he had a family who loved him. ‘Think about the people he left behind. How sad they would be. It is better not to get too attached. He will go.’

  Merri’s face took on a stubborn cast. ‘If he asked, would you go from here? Would you sail off to his great estate? Would you leave us all?’

  Alwynn held out her hands. There was little point in explaining that it had been a
ll she could think of for a few days until she’d looked at Merri’s latest attempt at tablet weaving and had known it didn’t matter if he asked or not. Her answer would be the same. ‘What? Leave you? How could you think that? My life is here.’

  As she said the words, she knew they were true. She had a responsibility to the people who lived here and she took that responsibility seriously.

  ‘Is it because of me you won’t go? Some day you might wish you had.’

  When Merri turned her face away, Alwynn went and sat beside her. She gathered Merri’s small hands within her own. ‘I promised you when you were a little girl and missing your mother. Remember? I’ll see you safely married and settled on your own estate. I love you as surely as I would love my own child, if I’d been granted such a blessing.’

  Somehow that steady ache to hold her own child had grown less in the past few days. Theodbald was wrong. She wasn’t something less than a woman simply because she hadn’t borne a child.

  Merri tilted her head to one side. ‘I think you have done more than just kiss him.’

  Alwynn pretended to be very interested in the arrangement of Purebright’s straw. The pony let out a snort as if he agreed with Merri.

  ‘Well?’ Merri asked. ‘Are you going to tell me? What did Valdar do to get you to sing again?’

  ‘I refuse to answer that. It is none of your business. You shouldn’t know such things. You are far too young.’

  Merri laughed. ‘I hardly live in a convent. I know what passes between a man and a woman. It was hard not to, stepping over the bodies after one of my father’s feasts.’

  Alwynn pressed her hands together as guilt flooded through her. She had always thought that Merri was safely tucked in bed. She should have listened to Gode that Merri’s nurse was skittish and rather more inclined to spend the night with one of the grooms than look after her charge properly. ‘I wanted to spare you that.’

  ‘I am an early riser. And Mildreth was always missing on the morning after a feast day.’

  ‘You should have told me.’

  ‘And spoil my fun? Mildreth allowed me lots of freedom, unlike Gode, who would have been on me like a hound on a blood trail.’ Merri tucked her hair into her couvre-chef, making the cloth tilt worse than ever. ‘Besides, knowing about it is not the same as trying it myself.’