Blowing Smoke
Page 33
“So everyone’s one big happy family again.”
“Yeah.” Debbie laughed. “Just like the Brady Bunch. You know, Louie says Amy is the dumb one for leaving, but I think she’s the only smart one.”
I agreed. The best thing I’d ever done for myself was leave my family.
I ran my hand over the chair arm. “How come Louis came back?”
“Because his mommy asked him to.” She gave the word mommy a scornful twist.
“Then Lila’s gone?”
“Oh, no.” Debbie crooked her finger, and I followed her into the bedroom. She flung open the closet door. It was filled with spangled gowns and shoes. “I think Lila will always be around. He just sneaks off at night. Personally, I’m glad my parents didn’t lay that kind of guilt trip on me. I’ve always been free to come and go as I please. I’m lucky, I guess. I’ve got good ones. If you don’t, they can really louse you up.”
“It’s true,” I said, thinking back to mine.
About four months after that I was at a bar with my girlfriend Calli, trying to chase away the Sunday-night blahs. We were listening to a blues band and drinking beer when George walked through the door.
“Shit,” I said. There was no way he wasn’t going to see me.
“You want to go,” Calli whispered in my ear, “we can. Just say the word. It’s okay by me.”
“No. I’ll be fine.” But my heart was thumping, and I could feel my stomach knotting up.
The knot in my gut got even tighter when George spotted me and walked over.
“You’re looking good,” he said.
“You, too.” And he did. He was wearing the blue shirt I’d always liked.
When he signaled to the bartender, his arm touched my shoulder. I took a deep breath and reached for my pack of cigarettes. I needed something to do with my hands to steady them.
“You must be happy with the way the Taylor thing played out.”
“Reasonably. You know Manuel is going back to school,” I said to fill in the silence that was opening like a chasm between us.
“That’s nice. Is he still at your house?”
“For the time being.”
George turned and faced me. “Paul told me you and he have something going.”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” I replied as I tried to read George’s face. But I couldn’t. It was expressionless.
“That’s what he said, too.” George took a sip of his beer. “So are you seeing anyone else?”
“No. Are you?”
“Not at the moment.”
George ran his finger around the neck of his bottle. “I’ve been thinking maybe we could catch a movie sometime.”
“I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ll give you a call.” And he moved away to talk to some other people.
I could feel my eyes filling with tears as I watched him leave.
“You okay?” Calli asked as I blinked them back.
“Fine.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
But I wasn’t.
My hand was trembling as I took a cigarette out of my pack, put it in my mouth, and reached for my lighter. Then I pushed it away, took the cigarette out of my mouth, and laid it down on the bar. For some reason, I didn’t feel like smoking.
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Copyright © 2001 by Barbara Block
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