Cowboy Love

by Jodi Bella

  Of course, the more Alicia saw of Luke, the more she could feel herself falling deeper in love with him. He was there in the morning at the breakfast table, smelling like aftershave and soap, with his dark hair curling around the nape of his neck and his eyes roaming over her body in obvious hunger. When she was at home during the day, she found herself watching him through the windows while he labored in the sun, the golden rays glinting off his bronzed arms and the wind playing with his hair. At dinner he would come in to share the meal and she could often see the fatigue in his eyes from the hard, long day he'd worked. But he always had time and patience to listen to Missy's recounting of her school day or his mother's telling of a particularly comical story. Sometimes after dinner she would follow him and Missy over to their house and sit with him on the old, squeaky porch swing after Missy had been put to bed. She would lay her head on his shoulder or in his lap and they would look up at the stars together and talk about their separate pasts and their entwined futures.

  On weekends, they made a habit of keeping one night, Friday or Saturday, as their "date night." They would go to the movies, or dinner, or a friend's party. People in town began to recognize them together and whenever they were spotted alone, they would be asked where the other one was. One night, at Luke's good friend, Sergeant Brain McDogal's baby girl's christening party, the policeman had teased Alicia about how he might just have to arrest her if she made his old buddy grin any more moronically. They'd all shared a good laugh at that, especially when Luke calmly set aside little Emma McDogal and lunged playfully after his childhood pal.

  Alicia had been living on the farm for about three and a half months, and was really beginning to feel at home there—like she belonged, and might just want to remain there—when Luke dropped the bomb on her. Apparently, he too had had similar feeling about keeping her there with him…

  Luke was in town one day in mid-December, on a normal, routine run to the feed mill and the hardware store, when he stopped suddenly in his tracks on the walk back to his truck. He turned and looked into the window of the small town's one and only jewelry store and this voice in his head told him to go inside.

  He knew he should ignore the voice. It hadn't been that long ago, after all, that he'd told Alicia that he was in no rush to get married. And he wasn't, not really. Though he couldn't exactly help thinking about how wonderful a life married to her could be, especially now that she was living so close and he saw her every day. Still, he didn't want to push things too hard with her and wind up scaring her away.

  He must have stood on the sidewalk in front of that store for a good five minutes, debating with that voice in his head. He finally decided it couldn't hurt to go in and look, and besides, it wasn't like the shop sold only diamond engagement rings. Maybe he would see a nice necklace or bracelet that Alicia might like, and he could buy that for her, instead.

  That was what he told himself, anyway, as an excuse to get his butt in the door. But the first display he was drawn to was not one of necklaces, or bracelets, or even broaches. Oh, no—it was the selection of engagement rings that Luke Stephens walked up to.

  And when the cowboy walked out of the jewelry shop almost an hour later, with a good deal of his savings spent, there was a small, black velvet ring box tucked into his jacket pocket. And Luke had a definite spring in his step as he hummed under his breath on the way home.

  When Luke got back to the farm, he put the supplies from town away and headed up to his mother's house. It was a weekday, and Missy was at school, but he found his mom in the kitchen, stirring a big pot of fragrant chicken soup.

  "Mmm, that smells wonderful," he commented, kissing Emily Stephens on her cheek. She smiled at her son over her shoulder as she added a dash of salt to the pot.

  "I thought your sweetheart could use some of my chicken soup for that flu she's got," Emily said.

  Alicia had been home the past three days with a flu bug that was going around. She'd been fighting it for about a week, actually, but hadn't been willing to stay home and rest as she needed to until just these past few days. And even getting her to do that had taken some major threatening from Luke and a forced trip to the doctor before she'd grudgingly agreed to follow the doctor's advice to stay away from work and rest.

  "That's really thoughtful of you, Ma," Luke said. Emily looked at him curiously as he shifted his large frame from one foot to the other.

  "You okay, Luke?" she asked. "You look… I don't know. Sort of nervous or something."

  Luke laughed. Leave it to his mother to see right through him and know that something was up. He raked one hand through his dark hair and shrugged. "Well, I guess I am nervous. A little, anyway."

  "Why? Is something wrong?"

  "No, nothing's wrong." He fumbled in his jacket pocket and drew out the ring box. His mother's sky blue eyes lit up when she saw the box and she exclaimed a soft "oh, my!" when he snapped it open to reveal the small diamond ring inside.

  "You're going to propose to Alicia!" she exclaimed. Luke shushed her madly, even though she'd spoken softly, and he glanced over his shoulder least his girlfriend be out of bed and standing suddenly behind them at the base of the stairs. "Oh, Luke, how wonderful!"

  "Do you think she'll like it?" Luke worried. "I didn't have enough money to buy her a very large diamond…"

  Emily waved her hand dismissively. "That won't matter. She'll love it."

  Luke smiled and squeezed his mother's hand as he closed the box. "I hope you're right. I hope she says yes." He took his coat off and put the box in his shirt pocket.

  "Of course she'll say yes," Emily insisted adamantly. She clucked her tongue at him disapprovingly. "What else would she say?"

  Luke shrugged. His mother didn't know about Alicia's history with men or her failed engagement, and he didn't feel that it was his place to tell her about it. But he could think of plenty of things other than 'yes' that Alicia might say when he proposed. Starting with a reminder that she didn't believe in marriage anymore, and that she wasn't ready yet to try to find that belief again.

  Emily was taking soup bowls out of a cabinet and placing them on a tray. She gave her son a mischievous, conspirator's smile as she added spoons, crackers, two cans of ginger ale, and a lidded crock of the soup she'd just made.

  "Here," she said, turning with the tray in her hands and thrusting it at him. "Go on and take this up to your future wife. I… I'll just busy myself down here a while so you can have some privacy upstairs." She stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss on Luke's cheek. "Good luck, honey."

  When Luke shouldered his way through Alicia's halfway opened bedroom door, his gaze fell on her as his blood rushed through his veins. She lay in bed, sleeping like an angel, completely oblivious to the havoc going on inside of him and the impending question he was bolstering his courage to ask her.

  He set the tray down on a table by the window and settled on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, watching her sleep. He held one of her hands in both of his while he took notice that her color was improving and her skin was no longer hot with fever. She was definitely recovering despite herself. If she hadn't been so stubborn at first about staying home and resting, she'd probably be over this flu by now.

  Luke raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "Lice?' He called softly. "Alicia, honey, wake up. It's time for lunch."

  Alicia's eyes fluttered open slowly, and she smiled sleepily at him. "Hi," she said.

  "Hi," he answered. He kissed her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

  "Better, thanks." She had the good grace to look a bit sheepish, at least.

  Luke tweaked her nose. "I'm glad to hear that." He stood and went over to the food, starting to ladle soup into the bowls. "Mom made you some of her famous chicken soup. Known county wide for its restoring, healing powers."

  "Your mother spoils me."

  "She enjoys it." Luke returned to Alicia's side a few moments later with the tray containing her bowl of soup, a couple crackers and one of th
e ginger ales. Alicia scooted to a sitting position and Luke set the tray on her lap. "Eat up!"

  They ate lunch together, chatting a bit about the upcoming holidays and the rush of orders Alicia was getting at the bakery. Luke told her that he'd stopped in while he'd been in town and assured her that everything was well in hand.

  A quiet settled over them after that, and Luke noticed that Alicia looked decidedly uncomfortable. She'd finished all of the food on her tray and he worried that maybe her queasy stomach was rebelling against it.

  "Do you feel okay, sweetheart?" he asked.

  She nodded. Luke took the tray from her lap and set it aside. He rejoined her and sat on the edge of the bed again, holding her hand.

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes… I'm just wondering…" She looked up at him and worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "Are you very mad at me, Luke?"

  "Mad at you? No, Alicia, I'm not mad. Why would I be?"

  "Well… you know… when I got sick and you tried to get me to go to the doctor and rest. And I wouldn't listen to you…"

  Luke grinned. "You listened when I told you that you'd get your bottom good and blistered if you didn't go."

  She blushed bright red from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. "Yeah… well… are you mad at me because I wouldn't listen?"

  Luke shook his head. "No, honey. I'm just glad you did listen. And I'm glad you're feeling better. Maybe next time you won't be so stubborn about going to see the doctor when you don't feel well."

  She nodded. She was fidgeting with the satin trim on the cotton blanket and she wouldn't look up at Luke. She asked the blanket, "Are… are you going to spank me… once I'm all better?"

  Luke studied her bent head. He hadn't planned on spanking her, once she was well, but something about the way she was acting made him hesitate to answer 'no.' He hadn't had to give Alicia a discipline spanking since that day they'd all gone fishing, and the topic hadn't come up since then in conversation, either. He'd assumed, and hoped, that she'd been thinking about the punishments as he's suggested, but they hadn't discussed them since. Now, he had a feeling that Alicia had reached a conclusion about her feelings. He just wasn't sure what that conclusion was.

  "Well, Alicia, I hadn't planned to spank you, no. Why?"

  "I… I think that… that maybe…" She shook her head, blushing painfully, and couldn't finish.

  Luke tipped her face up and smiled gently at her. "You think that maybe I should?" he asked.

  She nodded, ever so slightly, and squeezed her eyes shut. "And you're okay with that?"

  This time her nod was more obvious. "I'd feel better if you did," she whispered. "I… I was pretty horrid to you and you were just concerned about me…"

  Luke grinned. "Yeah, you were pretty horrid, you stubborn lady," he teased. He squeezed her hand. "Okay, sweetheart. We'll handle it later, when you're completely over this flu. Okay?"

  She nodded. "Thank you, Luke."

  Luke felt like his heart had swelled to twice its size since he'd sat down beside her. This new development was very promising. If Alicia could trust him to punish her, even ask him to do it, maybe she could trust him to love her without betraying her, too.

  Heartened, he implored, "Close your eyes."

  "What?" Her brow furrowed.

  "Just close your eyes a minute. I have a surprise for you."

  "Okay…"

  Once Alicia sat before him with her eyes shut, Luke fished the ring box out of his shirt pocket. He opened it and settled it, turned towards her, in her open palm.

  "Okay, open up."

  One green eye peeked open hesitantly, then the other. Her mouth formed a little O and her gaze flew from the ring in her hand to Luke's face.

  "Alicia," Luke began, his voice thick. "Will you marry me?"

  Her lip trembled, and then the tears started to roll down her cheeks. Her hand shook and she just stared from the ring to Luke and back again.

  Luke pressed his eyes closed. He'd blown it. She looked scared to death by his proposal. He'd known it was too soon, that she wasn't ready yet. But he'd gone charging ahead anyway and now he'd ruined it completely.

  With his thumbs, he wiped at her tears, and he took the box from her shaking hand. It closed with a loud, conclusive SNAP!

  "Shh, baby. Don't cry," he soothed. Alicia cuddled against his chest, sniffling and trembling as he tried to calm her. "Lord, Alicia, I'm so sorry. Please, just forget I said a word. I understand that you need more time, honey. I don't want to rush you."

  Alicia relaxed in his arms, lulled by his words and his warmth. He was so loving and kind to her. So sweet and giving. And even though the thought of marriage terrified her, as she sat there cradled in Luke's embrace, it became very clear to her that she could not say no to this man. She simply could not.

  "Just… just promise me you'll think about it," Luke was asking. "Okay? That's all."

  She pulled back from him and wiped her eyes. He looked sick with worry and she touched his cheek in reassurance. "I don't need to think about it, Luke."

  His face fell and she smiled. This time it was her finger tipping his chin up so that he would meet her eyes.

  "Luke, I don't need to think about it because the answer is yes."

  A brilliant smile, like rays of sunshine filtering through dark storm clouds, broke over his handsome face.

  "Did you say yes?"

  She nodded, grinning back at him. "Yes!"

  Luke crushed her to him in a sweet grip that made her feel like the most cherished woman on Earth—even if it was a tad tight for air. He cradled the back of her head and fervently promised her that he would never make her regret her decision.

  And for the moment at least, Alicia knew no fear and believed him with her entire heart and soul.

  Chapter 7

  The Christmas holiday passed by in a blur of activity and visitations from various family members. Alicia's parents flew up from Florida to meet their future son-in-law and his family. Although Alicia was glad to see them, and excited to meet the different extensions of Luke's relations, it was also a very nerve wracking time for her. Meeting everyone and having everyone meet Luke made her really face the reality of what was happening. This was for keeps—or it should be, anyway. She was really going to give her heart to Luke and she had to find a way to trust him not to break it on her.

  Before she knew it, the new year was upon them. Even though the big farmhouse was filled to the brim with celebrants, Alicia still felt as if she and Luke were all alone for the traditional midnight kiss. When they parted, he picked her clear up off her feet and twirled her around in a circle. "Happy New Year, Lice!"

  "Happy New Year, Cowboy," she giggled.

  Alicia's resolution for the new year was to find a way to over come her fears about submitting herself to Luke. She could think of no other cause that was more important to her or their happiness.

  After the holidays had passed and the various relations had gone home, life resumed its normal pace once again. Luke and Alicia set the date for their wedding for May first and Alicia gratefully accepted her sister Karen's help in planning for the ceremony and reception. With each new decision she made, whether it was big or small, she felt that much closer to achieving her resolution.

  As Valentine's Day approached, Alicia felt stronger each day as far as her relationship with Luke was concerned. She'd been able to submit willingly to him for the spanking she'd asked for after her flu, and afterwards had felt even closer to him because of it. They'd made it through the hectic holidays together and were planning each day towards the start of their new life together. And then there was Valentine's Day weekend, which promised to be a great escape for them both. Missy would be spending the weekend at a friend's house and Emily had arranged to be away as well, going to visit her sister two towns away. The entire farm would be their own personal playground and Luke had been driving Alicia half crazy for weeks now, describing in lurid detail all the things he had planned for her. Sh
e could hardly wait…

  The Friday before Valentine's Day, Luke came in early from the fields to shower and change clothes. He set the table in the small dining room with candles and the good china, turned the stereo system to a soft, jazz station in the living room, and placed tea candles on the various tables in the bedroom. He glanced around the room, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

  An hour later, as he was walking back into the house with containers of take out from Alicia's favorite Chinese restaurant, the phone rang.

  It was Brian McDogal on the line.

  "Luke, this is really awkward, but I knew you'd want to know what happened, so I called as soon as I could."

  Luke was alarmed at Brian's obvious distress. "What's wrong?"

  His longtime friend sighed. "Well, there's no easy way to say this, Luke… I pulled Alicia over today. She was doing eighty-five in a forty zone. And, Luke, she didn't have her seatbelt on."

  Luke went absolutely still and silent. He blinked once, twice, digesting Brian's words.

  "Luke? Are you there?"

  "Yes." His voice sounded strained, even to his own ears. "She didn't have an accident, did she?"

  "No. I gave her a ticket for the speeding and the seatbelt, though. Couldn't believe it when I got up to her window and saw who it was driving. I figured you'd want to know what happened, especially with how you lost your brother and all."

  "Yeah." Luke ran a weary hand over his face. "Thank, Brian."