I rushed to her side, first, realizing the twins were at least safe. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
She shook her head and spoke in a whisper. “It’s my head. It’s poudin’. Peyton left a while ago and the twins won’t stop cryin’. I’ve fed them and changed them, Shayne.”
Her eyes looked tired as she finally opened them. I patted her knees. “Go take a shower and I’ll get them calmed down.”
“You worked all day. It’s my job,” she insisted.
I smiled, knowing that she meant well, then changed my voice to be appealing to a baby. “Please go take care of yourself.” I looked down at my precious little girl. “Daddy is home and he’s happy to take care of the kids and their mommy.”
She tried to smile, but I could tell the pain was beginning to be too much for her to take. “What would I do without you?”
“You never have to think about that. You’re stuck with me.”
I watched as she walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind her.
It took me a while to get the twins to both calm down. After maneuvering to pick them both up and hold each like a football, I turned on music and we rocked around the room until they settled down. Eli fell asleep first with his little fingers wrapped around one of mine, while Beka was still wide awake, displaying real tears out of the sides of her little eyes.
“Why are you so sad, princess? Are you sad because Mommy doesn’t feel good?”
She stared up at me, with no real expression on her face. Then, out of nowhere, she smiled. Dimples on both cheeks added to the moment of me seeing her first real, un-gas related, smile. It was so beautiful and I wondered if Ash had already seen it happen. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as we rocked silently together.
Finally, I had two sleeping babies to lay down. After doing so, I turned down the volume of the music and noticed that the shower water was still running. Knowing that the hot water was always limited to about twenty minutes, I walked into the bathroom to check things out.
Disbelief set in when I saw the shower curtain had been pulled down. Ash’s hand was drooped down from the tub and she was face first against the hard porcelain of the old tub. “Oh my God.” I stooped down, shoving away the curtain to get to her. She didn’t move as I flipped her unresponsive body around and started lightly tapping her on the cheek. “Ash, wake up. Open your eyes, baby.” I repeated it again and again with no response. After checking her breathing, I picked her up and carried her to our bed where I grabbed my phone and called for an ambulance.
I was freaking out, still trying to get her to come to. All I wanted was to see those pretty blue eyes looking back at me, but they never opened.
After I hung up with the operator, I called my parents. I needed someone to care for the twins while I went to hospital. When they didn’t answer I tried Peyton. With another unanswered call, I dialed the next person out of habit and prayed they would pick up.
“What’s up, Shayne? You callin’ to back out of our deal?”
“Ford, I don’t time for small talk, man. It’s Ash. She’s unresponsive. The ambulance is on the way and I don’t know what to do. She fell in the shower. I can’t get her to wake up. Please, you’ve got to help me. I called everyone else already.” I was frantically begging my cousin, not even giving him any time to answer.
“I just walked in the door. What do you need from us?”
I closed my eyes for a second, so grateful that he didn’t hang up on me. Ford may not have cared about Ash, but we were blood and I was desperate. “I need someone to sit with the twins. Please, I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t out of options.”
“We’ll be there in ten to fifteen. Is the ambulance there yet?”
“No. It’s on the way.”
I heard knocking at the door and hung up the phone, realizing it was probably the paramedics. When they came in they asked a dozen questions and most I had no knowledge of. The most important was that she wasn’t using drugs. That I knew was the truth.
In all of the chaos I hadn’t thought about putting clothes on my girlfriend. The paramedics, one being a woman, rushed in and started working on her. Embarrassed for what she might think, I hurried and found a pair of sweatpants and a zip up jacket. I couldn’t put it on her arms, but handed it to the medical worker just in case. She smiled while checking her vitals. After that was finished her partner started lifting up the gurney for transport.
In all of the commotion, I hadn’t even heard one of the twins crying. Without explanation I hurried into the living room and picked up Beka. By the time I got back into the bedroom Ash was strapped and they were beginning to wheel her out. “What hospital are you takin’ her to?”
“Salisbury.” The male paramedic announced.
I reached for Ash’s hand, even though she was still unconscious. “I’ll be right behind you, baby. I promise, I’m comin’.”
I watched them load her inside and close the doors. In seconds they were pulling out of the driveway and heading down the road. The sirens only reminded me how serious the situation was. I started to panic, wondering what I was going to do if something was seriously wrong with her.
Ford came running in through the door, Sky right behind him. She rushed to my side, taking Beka out of my arms. “Where’s the diapers and formula.”
I pointed to the kitchen counter as I grabbed my keys and started my beeline towards the door. Maybe I should have stayed to explain everything to them, but my mind was on one thing and nothing was going to keep me from getting to her.
I made it to my car before I noticed that Ford was behind me. “Shayne, hold up.”
I turned, feeling like every moment wasted was going to come back to haunt me. I didn’t know why, but I had this terrible feeling that something was very wrong. “I need to go.”
“Was she sick? Is she poppin’ pills?”
“No!” I said defensively. “She doesn’t use drugs. She’s a good mother, Ford. She’s not the person you used to know, man.”
He held up his hands. “Sorry. I was just askin’. The twins are fine. Sky’s great with babies. Just call me when you know somethin’.”
I climbed in the car and took off down the road. I had no idea what her condition would be like when I got to her, but all I could do was pray this was just some viral infection that would soon pass.
My mind kept going back to the internet searches on headaches and how so many different scenarios of what could be wrong were coming into play. I hoped that she wasn’t contagious, worrying about the twins and how they couldn’t tell us if something was wrong.
I thought about the farm house, and if something there had really triggered this to happen to her.
There were too many unanswered questions running through my head. After parking my car in the lot, I rushed to the emergency department and was shot down when they wouldn’t let me through to see her. I wasn’t her immediate family and we didn’t share the same last name. Then, with little regard for caring about a lie, I told them she was my fiancé. Figuring that would be the key to getting through, I stood there waiting for them to open the doors. That’s when someone came walking out towards me.
“My girlfriend was just brought in by ambulance. She’s unconscious. Can you please get me in there so I can be with her?”
“Sir, I’m sorry but you’re going to have to wait here. The doctor’s are going to run some tests. As soon as they get her into a room and settled, we’ll come out to get you.”
“She needs me. I’ve got to be in there with her.”
“Sir,” the nurse grabbed my arm, making me look at her. “I promise that we’re doing everything we can for her. I will come find you myself when we know something. If I were you, I’d take this time and let the rest of her family know she’s in the hospital.”
She walked away from me, leaving me to think about calling her asshole father. With all due respect, he deserved to know that she was ill. As much as I hated the idea, I was certain it was the right thing to do.
I scrolled down and found his number, looking at it for a few seconds before walking outside to call. While it rang, I stared through the glass window, waiting for that same nurse to come back out to get me, but it never opened.
It wasn’t surprising when his voicemail picked up. He was probably ignoring our calls after our confrontation the other day.
“This is Shayne. Ashley’s been rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I found her passed out and unresponsive in the shower. When you get this please come to Salisbury. I don’t know anything else. Please, just get here.”
I hung up the phone and paced around the outside of the building. It was horrible being so close to her, yet so far away that I didn’t know what was happening. Every couple of minutes an ambulance would pull up bringing another person inside. I wondered if the people were experiencing the same symptoms, and if they were, was it something that they could treat?
I supposed I was in denial. I mean, who wants to think the worst when there’s so much hope left in life? I surely didn’t want to think that it was going to be bad news, and certainly not the last time I’d ever see her again.
Chapter 19
Shayne
Hours of waiting, pacing and thinking the worst had played havoc on my mind. I was exhausted, but unable to give up hope that someone was going to walk through that door and give me some good news. I’d begged for someone to help me, but got no result.
My parents called a little after I’d arrived. They wished me well and told me to keep them informed. Actually, my mom said that. My father never got on the phone, but I could hear him bitching in the background.
My sister called shortly afterwards, probably hearing about it from my mother. She told me that she’d gone with Ash to see her father, but had no idea what went on since she made her wait in the car. As curious as I was about the visit, my only concern was on my girlfriend.
Finally, after three hours, her parents showed up. They were dressed in formal wear and acted like me calling them had interrupted something more important than their own child. Aside from wanting to choke the man, I knew we had a common interest to attend to. If anyone could find out what was going on, it would be her father.
Like I assumed, he rushed over to the triage nurse and demanded to be told the condition of his daughter. While she ran into the back, he headed in my direction. I stood up waiting to shake his hand, but he refused. “What did she do now? Did she overdose? I tell ya, for someone that says she can handle being an adult, she’s got a shit way of showing it.”
It was in that moment I wanted to punch that cocky smirk off of his face.
The nurse broke my stare when she waved him over and led him through the doors that I’d been waiting so long to get through. When she came back I was standing there waiting. “Excuse me, I’d like to go back now.”
“I’m sorry, sir. The patient’s father has informed me that you aren’t really family. Unfortunately, the hospital rules do apply.”
I threw my arms up above my head. “Are you kiddin’ me? She lives with me. I’m the father of her children. Please. I don’t get along with her father and neither does she. I just want to be able to see my girlfriend. I’m worried about her and not one person has told me anything. Now please, just tell me somethin’.”
She pulled me to the side where we were a little more private. “I can see that you care about the girl. Wait here, I’ll be right back.”
I stood there, watching her go into the emergency room. Minutes passed and she hadn’t come back out. When I was starting to think she’d forgotten about me, she came walking up to me.
Her face told me that the news wasn’t good and I immediately felt a knot forming in my throat. “What is it?”
“I’m afraid to tell you that your girlfriend’s in surgery.”
“For what?” A million ideas were rolling through my head.
“A Cerebral Aneurism.”
I felt my knees get weak, overwhelmed with emotions that I’d never felt before. I sank down to the floor, squatting while covering my face with my hands. The nurse bent over and placed her hand on my sleeve. “I spoke with the attending nurses and they said that the doctor will know more once the surgery is completed. I’m very sorry for being the bearer of bad news.”
I shook my head unable to even speak. My sweet, beautiful girlfriend was lying in the other room fighting for her life. I’d gone to elementary school with a kid that dropped dead when we were out at recess. I knew exactly what an aneurism was and what it could do.
At best, they’d gone in to relieve the pressure of the amount of blood in her brain. This wasn’t good and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do anything to make it better. It was out of my hands and that hurt the most.
Most would have expected me to leave, to go home where at least I could be with the twins and feel appreciated. They didn’t understand I couldn’t leave. There was no way in hell that I was going to sit around at home when she was in the hospital, bleeding from her brain.
So I sat.
And I sat.
Waiting and hoping for something; some kind of news that would let me know she was going to be okay. I focused my mind on optimism, unable to accept that it could be so much worse.
After a few more hours I spotted Ashley’s mother outside smoking a cigarette. It was weird seeing her doing it, but at that point I didn’t even care. All I wanted was answers.
She rolled her eyes when she saw me coming. “Shayne, I can’t deal with you right now.”
She’d been crying and her red eyes told me that the news couldn’t be good. “Please. I’ve been here the whole time and nobody will tell me nothin’. I have every right to know.”
She took a drag and looked the other way. “Look, all we know is that it was an aneurism. She’s been in surgery since we got here.”
“Is she goin’ to pull through?” I had to ask. My heart was being ripped out of my chest and I didn’t know what to do with myself. “Just tell me what they told you.”
She refused to look me in the eye, which could have meant she was emotional, or she couldn’t tell me truth.
“They don’t know, Shayne. The statistics say it’s a fifty-fifty chance. The doctor said that depending on what they find while they are in her head will give him a better idea of the severity.”
I sank down on the curb and covered my face. “This can’t be happenin’.”
I felt her hand on my shoulder as if it were to give me comfort. I didn’t want anything she could offer me. I wanted my girlfriend to be alright. She needed to come walking outside with those beautiful blue eyes and her big smile.
“I’ve got to go back inside. Go home and get some rest. I’ll make sure to call you when we know more.”
I turned toward her with tears of anguish rolling down my cheeks. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere. You do what you gotta do, but I’m not leavin’ this hospital.”
After she left I sat outside alone trying to find my strength to be able to walk back inside. It was difficult being around other people and wearing my heart on my shoulder for everyone to see. I knew that if I saw someone else emotional for their loved one I would lose it completely. This wasn’t an easy task, playing the waiting game when all I could do was sit around and think.
I thought about the last thing she said to me and that made me more upset. She’d ask what she would do with out me. I felt my body moving as the pain devoured every muscle. I’d wasted so much time screwing around with trying to get Lacey back and then dating others that I hadn’t seen what was right in front of me. I’d wasted time that I could have shared with her and now I felt like there was a chance I wasn’t going to get it back.
My phone vibrating in my pocket gathered my attention for a second. It was enough for me to want any type of distraction I could get.
“Hello?”
“It’s me, Ford. You’ve been gone a long time, man. What’s goin’ on?”
I covered my face with one hand while I held the p
hone with the other. “It’s bad, Ford. It’s so bad. They don’t know. What am I goin’ to do?”
“Slow down, cuz. You’re not makin’ any sense.”
“It’s an aneurism. She’s got a fifty-fifty chance.” I lost it, hearing myself saying the words I never wanted to use for anyone I cared about. Then my mind went to Harley, and how Ford was probably thinking back to that moment too.
“Jesus Christ, are you kiddin’ me right now?”
“No.” I knew he could hear me through the phone, so broken up over it that I didn’t even care if he knew.
I could hear him covering the phone with his hand to talk to Sky. It didn’t bother me. “Shayne, the twins are real good. Sky, Lacey, and your sister are all here. You take as long as you need to. We’ve got this end taken care of.”
“Thanks, Ford. Thanks for everything. I know I don’t deserve it.”
Then it hit me so hard that I lost all control over myself.
Had I done this?
Was this Karma coming back at me for all the cheating and lying that I’d done? Is this what I deserved for being such a shady guy for so long?
“Shayne, we all make mistakes. You’ve got to get yourself together. Ash is goin’ to need you when she wakes up.”
“What if she doesn’t?” It was quite possible that could happen. She could already be dead inside and I wouldn’t know.
“She’s got so much to live for now, Shayne. She’ll fight with all she has in her. Don’t give up hope. You hear me?”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah.”
“Keep me posted.”
“Alright,” I managed to get out.
We hung up and I felt like the sky was spinning above me. This had to be some sick nightmare. Maybe Ash was still in the shower and I was on the couch, holding the twins and dreaming this horrible alternate life.
For a while I just sat there, sniffling to myself while cars of people parked and went inside. They didn’t know why I was there and I didn’t know their business. This was how being at the hospital worked. People went in, but sometimes they didn’t come out. Well, not alive anyway.
Remember Me Page 11
