by Paris Rose
I sat silently as I absorbed the impact of Christoff’s words. I was completely overwhelmed by emotion. I felt a lump swell in my throat as my eyes welled up with tears. I was so touched by Christoff’s profound emotion and raw honesty. Over the months, we had slowly chipped away at each other’s walls, and his had finally completely crumbled. I wept silently as I struggled to find words.
“Christoff, I love you, too.” I paused and wiped my tears away before clutching Christoff’s hand with both of mine. “My feelings for you are as boundless as the ocean before us. I feel like I loved you before we even met. A piece of you existed within me, and I within you, before I was even conceived. I swear, it’s like we crossed paths in a past life, and you forever changed me in that life, and in this one as well.” I struggled to speak through my tears. “You see me exactly as I am, not just how you want me to be, and you love me anyway. And you allow me to relax and let my walls down and just be, without trying to control everything. I feel so safe with you.” I drew in a ragged breath and my body trembled as I tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat. I paused before speaking again. “I just wish we had figured things out sooner, Christoff. It’s really complicated. I met someone else who I can really see a future with, and I really want to give it a fair chance. What you and I have, Christoff, no one can ever take away…no one. But sometimes being in love doesn’t always mean being together. I really wish things had worked out differently but…I found someone else.”
My stomach muscles clenched as I began crying uncontrollably. Christoff reached across the car and embraced me. He truly was my rock. He silently held himself together as I completely fell apart in his arms. I cried so much that I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt like I was making the right choice, but it hurt like hell.
Christoff held me close and rubbed my back until my sobbing subsided. My body continued to tremble as I slowly pulled away. We looked at each other in silence for several moments. Christoff bit his lower lip and pressed his tightly clenched fist to his mouth, as if to suppress something he didn’t want to escape. Although Christoff was typically rather stoical, in this moment his piercing blue eyes glistened with a profound sense of pain that hit me in the pit of my stomach. My lower lip trembled, and tears threatened to stream down my cheeks once again as I sensed the depth of Christoff’s suffering. He reached out and took my hand in his. My tears quietly overflowed as another unrelenting wave of emotion crashed into me.
“Christoff, I love you more than I think you’ll ever really understand.” I spoke softly through my tears. Christoff swallowed hard and drew a deep breath before speaking.
“Gia, I understand more than I think you’ll ever really know.”
I leaned in and hugged Christoff and he welcomed my embrace. We held on to each other for a long time before he pulled away. He drew an uneven breath. “There is no use in us sitting here on the side of the highway. Let’s get you back to where you need to go.”
I sat in silence for a few moments before responding. “I’m at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills.” I saw a glint of curiosity in Christoff’s eyes, but he didn’t ask any questions.
“That’s not too far from where I’m staying. I’ll drop you off.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For everything.”
We rode in silence for the entire trip. I struggled not to start crying again. Every time I saw Christoff try to stifle his own emotions, the ever present lump that was caught in my throat swelled. I caught him stealing longing glances at me almost every time we approached a red light. I meant what I said when I told Christoff I wished things had worked out differently. My heart sank as we pulled up to my hotel. It was really time to say goodbye.
“Gia, I’m not going to beg for you. Although part of me wants to, my pride absolutely will not allow it. And I’m not going to wait for you, either. But if you ever need anything, anything at all, I want you to reach out to me. I’m not one to hold on to people who don’t want to be held on to, but I just have a feeling that this is not the last time we’ll be seeing each other…or maybe that’s just wishful thinking…” Christoff’s voice trailed off. “I’ll just leave it there for now.”
I stared at him silently as I absent-mindedly fumbled with the passenger side door. There was something about his words that haunted me, perhaps it was the fact that I knew he was probably right. It was not out of the realm of possibility that Christoff and I would reappear in each other’s lives in the future. But there was no guarantee that if and when we crossed paths again, we would be the same people that we were in this moment. Christoff reached over and embraced me. I squeezed him more tightly than I’ve ever squeezed him before. Part of me wanted to hold on to him and never let him go, but the other half of me knew that once I closed the door and crossed the threshold to the Four Seasons, I was starting a new life, a life that I had been trying to create for as long as I could remember.
I kissed Christoff on the cheek. “Christoff, du bist supergeil.”
Christoff’s face lit up as a smile spread across his face for the first time that evening. “Du bist wunderschön.” We embraced one last time before I climbed out of the Mercedes and closed the door behind me. I watched Christoff drive away until his car completely disappeared in the distance.
Epilogue
I woke up from a much needed nap. I was still drained from making one of the biggest decisions of my life. I knew I would probably miss Christoff for years to come, but I was equally certain that if Trevor and I continued to see each other, I would finally get to live the Hollywood fairy tale romance of my dreams.
Actually, based on what I was learning about Trevor, it would be a dark fairy tale with a scandalous twist. I was eager to learn more about my prince charming’s sexual proclivities. It sounded like it would make for a good hard rock song. I had an hour before he was supposed to be back from work. I took a long hot shower, flat ironed my hair, and slipped on my sexiest lingerie. It was black lace. I crawled under the soft, comfortable blankets and turned on my iPod. I decided to listen to Alpha Deity’s Fall From Grace album. I was ready to fall from grace tonight. I really hoped that Trevor could reconcile the sweet innocent girl that he perceived me to be with the sexually mature woman that I actually was.
Just as I was about to crawl out of my skin with anticipation, I heard Trevor enter the living area. I sat up and took my ear buds out.
“Giavanna, I have a surprise for you!” Trevor opened the double French doors. He looked like a million bucks. No, make that a billion bucks and then some. He was wearing black leather pants and a nicely pressed white dress shirt, and the top two buttons were undone. His dark hair was wild, messy, and sexy.
“What is it?” I squealed, unable to contain my excitement.
“Close your eyes and open your hands.” I did as instructed, and I felt Trevor put what felt like a small box in my hand. “Now open!”
Harry Winston! “Oh!” I gasped. I opened the box. It was a platinum necklace with a diamond encrusted apple hanging from it. Diamonds! I’ve always wanted diamonds. I was so happy I could cry. It was a beautiful and eccentric piece of jewelry.
“It’s forbidden fruit. You’ve tempted me in ways that I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around, so I found it fitting. I’ve never felt sexual feelings for a woman I had a deep emotional connection to. And I’ve never felt a deep emotional connection with a woman I had sexual feelings for. But you make me feel all kinds of things…things that I was raised to believe were shameful. It’s pleasantly…confusing.” Trevor’s mesmerizing dark brown eyes glowed with adoration and, if I wasn’t mistaken, a hint of longing. There was so much to Trevor. I could tell I’d only seen the tip of the iceberg. “There is so much about me that you don’t know, Giavanna. I don’t want to show you too much too soon and scare you away. So before we fully give in to temptation, I’d like at least some level of commitment from you. I want you to be mine. I want you to be my girlfriend…officia
lly.”
“Trevor, I’m absolutely crazy about you. I haven’t even tried to hide it. And I’m certain I can handle whatever it is you’re hiding under all of those complex layers. But what about the distance? L.A. is a four hour flight from Chicago, and we both work a lot.”
“Giavanna, I’m omnipresent. Geography is irrelevant to me. I own a jet, a helicopter and a boat, so I can get anywhere in the world on a whim. Besides, I own property in Chicago. I have a penthouse in Lincoln Park that overlooks Lake Michigan. I’m sure you would be quite comfortable there should you decide you want to move in. I’ll give you a key before you go back so you can take your time making the decision. I’ll email my secretary tonight and tell her to clear my schedule for next weekend so I can fly out and see you. I want you to be my princess.” Trevor leaned in and kissed me passionately. His kiss gave me butterflies.
“Well then, it’s official. I’m officially Princess Trevor Dunaway!” I squealed in delight and sank under the covers. I was dizzy with excitement.
Trevor crawled into bed and wrapped his arms and legs around me. He murmured in my ear, as he covered my neck with smoldering kisses. His voice was strained with yearning. “Oh, Giavanna, you’re my everything, you’re my princess, my goddess, and my wet dream…you’re my happy ending, you’re my everything.” I closed my eyes, eager to begin the next chapter of my forbidden fairy tale with my dark and dirty prince charming.
The End
Enjoy what you read? Keep flipping to the end of the book to leave a review. Your honest review really means a lot to me and helps me get the word out about my books. Thanks!
Acknowledgements
This book is dedicated to Elizabeth Powers and Andrew Martin. Thank you for your passion, your energy, and your efforts toward making the Rockstar Billionaires dream a reality. I’ll see you on the other side of the velvet rope. Cheers.
–Paris Rose
Claim Your Free Gift!
I really appreciate you buying my book and reading it. I had such a blast creating this series and I hope you enjoyed the party as much as I did. As a thank you for supporting my career as an author and giving my stories an audience, I would like to give something special to you. Click here to gain free access to my starter library, including the Rockstar Billionaires Prequel!
Reading a paperback and can’t click the hyperlink? No problem. You can get your free books by going to www.parisrose.laceandleatherbooks.com.
Until the next read…
Hugs & Love,
Paris Rose
