Waves of Fire

by Anne Hampson

  ‘Certainly he knows!’ she cried, with more defiance than conviction.

  ‘You’re aware of the ease with which the Cypriots can dissolve a marriage, I suppose?’

  She frowned. Where was this leading?

  ‘They obtain a divorce by mutual consent.’

  ‘On paying the church a considerable amount of money,’ he supplemented with a faint smile. ‘However, what I was really trying to point out is that this lawyer of yours apparently believes an annulment will be just as ample. Did you tell him we were married in England?’

  Her spirits began to sink, even while she obstinately refused to admit that Andreas had the power to keep her bound to him.

  ‘He knows we were married in England, yes.’

  ‘And yet he believes he can obtain an annulment for

  you.’ Andreas shook his head. ‘Only I can annul the marriage — you are not in a position to do so, whatever you, or this lawyer, might think to the contrary.’

  ‘You?’ She stared at him. ‘But I’m the injured party.

  I was forced into marriage — blackmailed.’

  ‘Don’t talk rubbish! You married me willingly. As for your being the injured party, I must correct you there. I’m the injured party— No, wait until I’ve finished, please. I’ve offered you a home and you’ve refused to live with me. In the eyes of the law I’m the one with the grievance; consequently it is only I who can annul the marriage.’ She put her glass on the table and sat back, her hands clasped, staring into space. Was this true? The uneasiness that had gradually crept over her was all-enveloping now. Was she really tied to this man for life? She lifted her eyes, silently pleading, but all he said was, ‘I know you’ve given me your answer regarding our future, but is that your final word?’

  ‘Certainly it’s my final word. I’ll never live with you -- besides, you seem to have overlooked the fact that I’m.... ’ Her voice trailed off into silence as she noted his swiftly-changing expression.

  ‘Yes,’ he prompted softly. ‘You’re ... ?’

  Fear threatened to block her throat aid she spoke swiftly, before her courage failed her.

  ‘I’m in love with someone else, you know that.’ A tense silence followed and when eventually she managed to look up Shani knew that had she glanced up sooner she would have seen something far different from the mild stare she now encountered. ‘I want to marry him, Andreas, and if you have any honour at all you’ll not stand in the way of my obtaining an annulment.’

  ‘I’ve just said you can’t annul the marriage. I’ve also said

  I must see this man who believes he can steal my wife from me. Who is he?’

  ‘Brian-he’s at the base.’

  ‘An Englishman, eh?’

  ‘It’s only natural that I should want to marry a man of my own country.’ She stood up, taking her handbag from the table. ‘There isn’t anything for us to discuss,’ she told him quietly. ‘The lawyer warned me not to be alone with you.’ ‘You must not be alone with your husband?’ Again his manner was different from what she would have expected. ‘What else did he say?’ The quiet voice, the total lack of emotion - these should by rights have alarmed her far more than one of his violent demonstrations; instead, they had the effect of lulling her into a realm of safety where she found the courage to answer him in a way she would never previously have dared.

  ‘He said you don’t have a leg to stand on - and I have confidence in his verdict, in spite of what you say!’

  Just a movement in his throat... and a shrug of his shoulders before, turning, Andreas opened the door and stood aside, allowing her to pass through into the hall. The front door was open wide and round the patio lights flew dozens of giant moths. From the distance came the muted sound of waves brushing the shore. Turning to fasten the gate behind her, Shani saw that Andreas had entered the house and the front door was now closed. About to move on she found her eyes irresistibly drawn to the lighted window of the sitting room... and to the shadow on the wall. Frowning, she swallowed something hurtful in her throat. Andreas was sitting down ... and his head was sunk in his hands.

  CHAPTER FOUR WHAT was this uncertainty assailing her, this tantalizing

  confusion of mind? She desired nothing more than to be free of Andreas.... Most certainly she wanted to be free of him!

  A week had passed since her last visit to her husband’s house, a week in which she had fought to regain her clarity of vision. Brian was away, having been posted to England for a month, much to his disgust, but for herself, Shani felt a surge of relief at his going. By the time he returned she must surely have emerged from this bewildering cloud of uncertainty. But with each succeeding day her confusion increased, and at last she was forced to admit that the reason stemmed from the fact that Andreas intruded into her thoughts far more than was good for her peace of mind. The strange thing was that with these intrusions came the gradual recognition of herself as a married woman. Until a few months ago her marriage had been an unreal state which time would dissolve, but now she was coming to accept that state, and on one occasion she had actually taken her wedding ring from its box and looked at it, fascinated - and afraid to try it on. Mrs. Manou.

  The lawyer had not done anything more. These matters took time, he had said when Shani last rang him, but he went on to assure her that he had the proceedings well in hand and she had nothing at all to worry about.

  On hearing of the lawyer’s optimism Brian had insisted on a premature celebration and had taken Shani to the Hilton. During dinner she had made several attempts to tell him of the summons to her husband’s villa, but could not. So Brian had gone to England sublimely ignorant of Andreas’s assertion that he alone had the power to annul the marriage.

  ‘He’s quite resigned by this time, I suppose?’ Brian had said gloatingly as he sat with Shani in the car for a while before bidding her good night. ‘It’s not much use his being anything else, seeing that the lawyer’s so optimistic.’

  Avoiding a direct answer, Shani said,

  ‘He could be mistaken - the lawyer, I mean. Perhaps he thinks it’ll be easy as it would be here. As you know, in

  Cyprus even divorce is simple. The couple merely have to tell the priest they want the marriage dissolved and that’s it. They’re both free.’

  ‘Pity it’s not like that in England,’ returned Brian, missing her point but bringing a heavy frown to her brow. So he was of the opinion that divorce should be easy.... ‘Is he resigned?’ repeated Brian when she did not speak.

  A small hesitation. She was suddenly reluctant to discuss her husband in this way.

  ‘He seems a little resigned, and yet—’

  ‘A little!’ sharply. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I must be frank; Andreas doesn’t want to release me.’

  ‘How stupid!’ Brian frowned suddenly. ‘But you acted as if he was resigned.’

  The reluctance to discuss Andreas remained. In fact, Shani had an almost irrepressible urge to tell Brian to mind his own business, but soon admitted that this was most illogical of her and went on to explain that while on the one hand Andreas appeared to be resigned, on the other hand he had several times become so engrossed in thought that he might easily have been plotting something.

  ‘You’re being fanciful,’ declared Brian. ‘What could he be plotting?’

  ‘There’s nothing. It’s as you say, I’m being fanciful.’

  ‘Well, whether he’s resigned or not he’ll have to release you. The matter’s entirely out of his hands.’

  How little he knew, thought Shani, wishing she had had the courage to tell him the truth, tell him of Andreas’s firm assertion that she had no grounds whatsoever for obtaining an annulment of the marriage.

  A week after Brian’s departure the staff were having a farewell party for one of the Greek nurses who was getting married the following Sunday. All the doctors were there, and those of the nurses who could be spared.

  Both Shani and Jenny were free to attend. Popular with e
veryone, not only because of her unusual beauty, but also because of her deep sense of honour and compassion, Shani came in for rather more than her fair share of attention from the doctors, and several times as she caught her husband’s gaze fixed upon her she, saw a glint of steel in his eyes. Lydia hovered confidently round him and now and then there would be whispers about them.

  ‘Friends only,’ asserted Dr. Charalambedes, his mouth close to Shani’s ear. ‘He’ll not marry her, if that’s what she’s expecting.’

  This struck Shani as amusing and she laughed, a tinkling laugh which once again afforded her attention from Andreas. He was handsome, she owned, meeting his gaze, and that feeling of unrest became so strong within her that she moved away from the small crowd around her and stood by herself, looking from the patio across the sea to the mountains of Turkey, hazed in heat and yet capped with snow.

  Her mind was in a turmoil. Why should she suddenly resent Lydia’s possessive attitude towards Andreas? - for she did resent it, even though she had laughed at Dr. Charalambedes’ remark. She thought of Brian, gone a week now and not in the least missed. Shani had pangs of guilt about that, especially as she was now quite unable to picture a future as his wife.

  ‘Are you not drinking?’ The voice, low and vibrant, was yet tender somehow and Shani turned, soft colour rising in her cheeks.

  ‘I left it on the table.’

  Andreas fetched it for her and she took the glass from him, a shyness creeping over her as she looked up into his face.

  ‘Thank you.’ Mechanically she sipped the wine, conscious of Lydia’s dark eyes regarding her. ‘We’re going to miss Androula.’ Prosaic words, born of confusion.

  ‘She’s efficient, I agree.’ Andreas paused, cool and selfpossessed, and then, ‘Shall we sit down?’ Shani took the chair he brought forward for her.

  ‘You’re going on your holidays soon,’ she said awkwardly. ‘Is it to your home?’

  ‘I haven’t a home, Shani.’ So quiet the statement, and containing a hint of censure not unmixed with yearning. She felt guilty. Why, she thought with a quick frown, should both the men in her life produce in her this feeling of blame? ‘I’m going to the island of Cos. Do you know it?’

  She lost her apathy and a light of eagerness entered her eyes.

  ‘The Greek island? Of course I know it.’ Cos, birthplace of Hippocrates, the ‘Father of Medicine’.

  ‘You’ve been there?’

  She shook her head.

  ‘I hope to go some time - in fact I must go.’

  ‘For what reason?’ he asked, faintly smiling.

  She smiled in response.

  ‘To see the Asclepion, naturally. I expect everyone working in medicine has a desire to go there.’

  ‘The Asclepion ... Hippocrates’ hospital. Did you know a centre’s being built there where doctors from all over the world can meet and confer?’

  ‘But how wonderful!’ Her eyes glowed. ‘There couldn’t be a more suitable site in the whole world for a centre such as that.’

  ‘Most certainly there couldn’t.’ A long pause; Shani felt a tenseness creeping over her, but was totally unprepared for her husband’s next words. ‘Why don’t you come with me, Shani?’

  A quick intake of her breath, a vision leaping unbidden to her mind - the little island of Cos, and Andreas for company....

  “That’s quite impossible, you know it is.’

  ‘Can you give me one good reason why you find it quite impossible?’ Andreas looked steadily at her and a flush deepened the colour in her cheeks. She was thrown into disorder, staggered by the knowledge that the idea of going with her husband had not been instantly dismissed from her mind.

  ‘It wouldn’t be right, Andreas,’ she whispered. ‘You’re my wife, Shani,’ he murmured, and at that she shook her head emphatically. ‘We would go only as friends,’ he added on noticing her gesture.

  ‘Friends?’ Remembering his savagery, his impassioned desire for her, she searched his face intently. What she saw there could not be misread. His word was his bond; he would not break it.

  ‘I - I—’ Her lovely eyes continued to regard him, dark with uncertainty. ‘My holidays don’t - don’t coincide with yours.’ Feeble words, and totally unconvincing. What had come over her?

  ‘I believe yours start three days after mine. I could wait for you.’ Could she be imagining things - or was there really a hint of pleading in his voice? She recalled his admission that he had searched for her, and she wondered at the personality of this dark Greek who was beginning to loom large in her thoughts, despite her efforts to thrust his image out. But it was becoming impossible - in fact, he often occupied her mind to the exclusion of all else — and most certainly to the exclusion of Brian, on whom until recently all her dreams of the future had centred.

  ‘We couldn’t... the gossip...’

  ‘No one need know.’ Those words were drawn from him reluctantly, and Shani wondered why, if he still wanted his wife, he should be having an affair with Lydia. But was it an affair? The hospital staff believed so, and yet Shani had never felt fully convinced.

  ‘People would know; we couldn’t keep a thing like that secret. Why, we would both want to talk about it on our return.’ What was the matter with her? she asked herself again. The idea of taking a holiday with Andreas was quite out of the question!

  ‘For my part, Shani, I wouldn’t care—but you—’ For the merest second she saw the dark venom of jealousy in his eyes before he continued, ‘You have this young man, this Brian whom you believe you can marry, despite my firm assertion that you’ll never gain your freedom. And so,’ he went on hastily as if he feared his words had lost him ground, ‘we must keep our secret. ’ Silently she sipped her drink, more bewildered and uncertain than ever. To go on holiday with another man while Brian was away?

  ‘No,’ she whispered fiercely. ‘I can’t go with you. Please drop the whole idea!’

  A tenseness had enveloped him, but now he relaxed, leaning back in his chair. He was like a man who had staked and lost, and a greyness crept under his skin mingling with the deep rich bronze which was partly inherent, and partly acquired from exposure to the sun.

  ‘As you wish, Shani, so it must be,’ he sighed, and drank deeply from his glass.

  ‘I’m sorry...’ That feeling of guilt again. How she wished she could fly somewhere - far from these two men who were tearing her very soul apart. Suddenly she frowned. Was Brian really important in this drama? His role had gradually become a minor one ... with the

  light slowly but surely focusing on Andreas. In an agony of indecision she pushed a trembling hand through her hair. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said again, fighting desperately to take what she firmly believed was the honourable course. ‘It’s quite unthinkable that we should go away together.’

  ‘You’ve already made that clear,’ he said, and to her surprise his voice was lacking in the harshness she expected to discover there. He turned, smiling, as Lydia approached them.

  ‘May I join you?’ Her glance at Shani was perfunctory; she had eyes only for Andreas. But presently he rose, saying he must have a word with Matron, and Shani was left alone with the girl who obviously cherished hopes of becoming Andreas’s wife. Silence reigned between them until at last Lydia said abruptly, ‘You and Mr. Manou were very engrossed. Was it work you were discussing?’

  So transparent, thought Shani with an uncharitableness quite foreign to her nature.

  ‘It wasn’t work,’ she replied non-committally.

  Lydia bristled and walked away, crossing the room to join Andreas and Matron.

  Shani remained where she was, having no desire for company while her mind was in such chaos. Nevertheless, she smiled when Jenny came up a few minutes later.

  ‘Can’t leave him alone!’ Jenny flopped into the chair vacated by Andreas, her eyes on Lydia, who was now alone with Andreas. ‘No one here believes she’ll ever catch him, but I’m not so sure.’ ‘Not sure?’ A strange blockage came into Shan
i’s throat. ‘Have you some particular reason for saying that?’

  ‘Well, she’s always hanging round him, but for another thing she’s actually suggested she should go on holiday with him. What do you think of that for brazenness?’

  Shani’s lashes fluttered; she said quietly,

  ‘How do you know she suggested going away with him?’

  ‘Heard her, just now.’

  ‘What did she say?’

  ‘To quote her exact words, she said, “Andreas,

  I’ve been thinking — I’d love to visit Cos, so why shouldn’t we go together?”’

  ‘Mr. Manou - what did he say to that?’ The words came with difficulty owing to the tightness in Shani’s throat.

  ‘I don’t know; I couldn’t just stand there and listen to their conversation. The bit I told you I only heard in passing.’

  Would Andreas agree to Lydia’s proposal? It was feasible. After all, it wouldn’t be much fun going alone. ... But why should I care if they go together? It’s only a few weeks since I was hoping Andreas would fall in love with her and agree to an annulment. A few weeks, yes, but so much seemed to have happened to her in that time. Conscious of a dull ache in the region of her heart, Shani glanced across to where the two were standing, deep in conversation. Planning their holiday ... ?

  Why shouldn’t she go with her husband? The question, repeated over and over again on the day following the party, seemed gradually to invite only one answer, but still Shani hesitated, and perhaps after all she would have fought against her ever-increasing desire had not Lydia come up to her in the village taverna that evening. Shani had called to collect a bottle of wine ordered by Jenny and of course the proprietor pressed her to have a coffee.