Repo Earth

by Jeff Walsh

  “I think we're okay,” Anthony said.

  “About how much longer do we need to stay put?” Genny asked.

  “No more than forty-five of your minutes,” Alvin answered. “The captain and Bartl are just double checking things. We should be ready to get back on course in a short while.”

  With that Alvin turned and left once more.

  “Well,” Anthony chimed in, “who is sticking their face in this thing first?”

  Marcus opened his mouth to protest, but was immediately confronted by the thought that he had never actually won a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors against Anthony, and he was not about to let his wife risk her life first.

  “Fine,” Marcus said, slumping his shoulders in defeat before the argument even started. “I'm in a room full of weapons from space. This ship was almost sucked into nothingness. And a robot who loves everything just told us that learning things in space is as easy as sticking your face in a cubbyhole. What could go wrong?”

  Marcus cursed to himself as he stepped closer to the opening.

  The alcove was a good ten inches too high, yet as he approached, the alcove slid down the wall and expanded to the precise diameter Marcus needed in order to place his face safely inside.

  “I brought up instructions on how to use this thing on my readout,” Genny said. “It says to carefully place your face into the opening and declare what it is you wish to know or forget.”

  “That's it?” Marcus asked.

  “That's it,” Genny answered.

  “There's no more to it than that?” Marcus asked. “It doesn't say anything else? I don't want to stick my face in there and then suddenly new information is discovered.”

  “After that,” Genny said, “there's a blank page and then something written in a language called 'Gavakalabin.'”

  “Wonderful,” Marcus said to himself.

  He took four deep breaths and then three rather quick breaths. He shook his hands and balled them into fists five or six times.

  “You can do this,” Anthony said to him, attempting to cheer him on.

  “Right,” Marcus said. He shook his head in agreement rather quickly. “I got this.”

  After another four quick puffs of air Marcus stepped up and placed his face into the alcove. The wall began to hum and a voice appeared in Marcus' mind.

  “Please state the nature of learning or unlearning today,” the female voice said.

  “Uh,” Marcus said aloud. “Can I please learn about the weapons in this room? Please. Thank you.”

  “Scanning for mental capacity, please remain still,” the voice said. After a short moment of silence the voice declared, “Prepare for knowledge.”

  From outside the alcove Genny and Anthony watched as the needles began to appear and encircle Marcus' head. A moment later they began to glow a searing red. After a second or two, little arcs of lightning began to snap from needle to needle, and eventually encircled the entire opening.

  Genny gasped.

  Marcus heard her and yelled out, “What's going on? Why did you gasp?”

  “It's nothing,” Anthony said. “Just a bunch of light and stuff. You're doing great.”

  Genny looked sideways at Anthony and made an I'm sorry face.

  “Are you sure?” Marcus asked.

  “Yeah,” Genny answered.

  Marcus took a deep breath but remained perfectly still. He couldn't see any light. The alcove had gone pitch black the moment he stuck his face into it.

  “Knowledge download commencing in five, four, three, two, one...” the female voice in Marcus' head said.

  Just then, Genny burst out, “Oh wait there's more!”

  Marcus only managed to blurted out, “Wha...” before the PLN took over.

  Everything went numb as if he'd just stubbed a nerve traveling throughout his body. His mind swirled and colors flashed before his eyes. Then everything went black once more. He couldn’t see. His ability to discern directions appeared to be gone. It was as if he was suddenly floating with no up or down, left or right. He heard nothing, and felt nothing.

  A moment later, “Bahhhh!” Marcus yelled as he pulled his face out of the alcove. “What happened?” He slurred. “There was more?” Drool began running down his face. “Am I alive?” He hiccuped, stumbled back a few steps, spun, and fell straight down on his butt.

  Genny attempted to contain her laughter, while Anthony did no such thing. He was already crouched on one knee, doubled over from laughter.

  “Why would you do that?” Marcus yelled at Genny, still slightly slurring.

  “Sorry,” Genny said, accidentally letting a chuckle slip out. “It wasn't anything important. It turns out Gavakalabin is the inventor of this thing. The next page was simply explaining how this thing works. Are you okay?” Another chuckle slipped.

  Marcus was shaking profoundly. Not because of the Psionic Link Network, but because Genny had scared him worse than anything had ever scared him in his life.

  Anthony took a deep breath and wiped away the tears caused by his laughter. Genny let an audible laugh escape. Marcus relaxed himself enough to let out a forced chuckle.

  “Well,” Marcus said, “the thing works. There isn't anything in here I couldn't tell you about, use, heck, I could disassemble all of this and put it back together again.”

  “Seriously?” Anthony asked.

  “Yeah,” Marcus answered.

  “What was it like?” Genny asked pointing to the face alcove.

  “It's like your foot falling asleep, but all over,” Marcus answered. “Then a couple bright lights and suddenly you know stuff.”

  “That's it?” Genny asked.

  “Yeah,” Marcus answered. “It's weird though. Like, I can't remember not knowing this stuff. It's like It's like this information is all mixed in with everything else. I can't be sure, but I feel like some memories of middle school are gone.”

  “Oh man that's trippy,” Anthony said. “And who cares, middle school sucked. I'm going next.”

  With that, Anthony stepped up to the alcove, which raised itself allowing him to place his face inside. Just as before, a female voice entered his mind.

  “Please state the nature of learning or unlearning today.”

  “What'd you say when it asked for learning?” Anthony yelled out.

  “Oh,” Marcus paused. “Teach me about all the weapons in the room.”

  “You heard him,” Anthony said. “I want to learn about every weapon in the room.”

  “Scanning for mental capacity, please remain still,” the female voice said in his mind. “Prepare for knowledge.”

  Just as it happened for Marcus, the pins began to glow red hot, and the arcs of electricity sparked around.

  “Oh it's nothing, just some lights,” Marcus said to Genny, sounding perturbed. “That's more than just some lights. I had red hot needles and electricity sparking around my face.”

  “Sorry,” Genny said. “Did you want to know about the needles and sparks while your face was in there? Would that have calmed you down?”

  “Still,” Marcus said, knowing he already lost this argument.

  A few seconds later Anthony stepped back, “Whoa! That's super weird.”

  Turning on the spot, he stumbled on the spot but caught himself before falling. He began to wipe at his face profusely, remembering Marcus' drool, but couldn't seem to find the correct spot to wipe. Instead, he simply kept slapping himself in the face.

  Marcus and Genny started laughing rather hard.

  “You okay there?” Marcus asked.

  “Yeah,” Anthony slurred out. “That's intense. No wonder you came out all wobbly legged. I'm trembling like a new born deer over here.”

  “I don't know,” Marcus said. “I just went all numb.”

  “I didn't get the numbness,” Anthony responded. “But it felt like I was running as fast as I could. I feel exhausted.”

  Genny chcukled.

  “You going to be okay precious?” She asked sarca
stically.

  “Let's see how you do?” Anthony retorted.

  “Fine,” Genny said.” Let's get this over with.”

  Genny stepped up and placed her face into the alcove.

  “Hey, yeah,” Anthony said, “I just had a solid idea.”

  “Okay,” Marcus responded. “Do share.”

  “This thing just beams knowledge into your head,” Anthony said. “What if it can tell us what exactly is going on.”

  “You think Taam is lying to us?” Marcus asked.

  “Well no, but we can't be sure,” Anthony responded.

  “True,” Marcus said. “But it seems kind of unnecessary. They've already demonstrated they're protecting us.”

  “I'm not saying they're trying to kill us,” Anthony said. “But why not stick my face in the hole of knowledge just to be sure.”

  “Are you sure you don't want me to do it?” Marcus asked. “I'm afraid you might test the limits of the 'doesn't need to be cleaned' aspect of your pants there wobbles.”

  Anthony glared at Marcus.

  “I'm fine,” he said. “And this is a good idea. We have no clue what's going on, and this thing is basically the answer to everything we've ever wanted to know.”

  A moment later Genny stepped away from the alcove and Marcus and Anthony turned to see her completely unaffected by the process.

  “What the,” Anthony blurted out.

  “I added a small bit at the end,” Genny said. “Asked to learn all about the weapons in here, and also asked if it could skip any physical side-effects.”

  Both Marcus and Anthony scrunched up their faces at Genny's wit, and Anthony stomped toward the alcove and placed his face inside once again.

  “What's he doing?” Genny asked.

  “He wants to ask that thing about Taam and Bartl,” Marcus replied. “I guess he wants to confirm we're safe.”

  “Please state,” the female voice said in Anthony's head.

  “You can skip that,” Anthony said. “Listen, I'm new here, and I was wondering if you could tell me why we're on this ship, and what exactly Taam is planning on doing with us?

  “Oh yeah, and also, if you could do that without the whole numb body or wobbly legs, that'd be great.”

  “Prepare for knowledge,” the voice said.

  “It worked,” Anthony yelled out. “Info incoming.”

  Genny and Marcus watched as the needles once again turned red hot, and the sparks darted across them.

  A moment later the voice appeared in Anthony's head once again, “Personal information download access codes.”

  “Sorry, what?” Anthony asked.

  “Personal information access codes,” the voice stated again.

  “I don't know what personal information access codes are,” Anthony said. “Can you tell me what those are for?”

  “The knowledge you requested is based on the extrapolation of personal information of the individual named, Taam Heezarian, Captain of the Platnium IV. If this is not the correct individual, please restate name and personal information access codes,” the voice answered. “In compliance with the Psyteric Law of Galvn III, all personal information extrapolated can only be downloaded by those with personal information access codes.”

  The female voice paused a moment and then said, “Personal information access codes.”

  “You have the right person but I don't have any codes,” Anthony answered. “Sorry to bother you.”

  “In line with regulation Alpha Ottamis, nine five four, five four nine four, you have hereby been charged and admittedly deemed guilty of attempting to obtain personal information using the Psionic Link Network. Please stand by for stellar-beam.”

  “Whoa, what,” Anthony said. “I didn't know. What's a stellar-beam?”

  “Stellar-beam technology was invented by a Ringlarian living on Ringading, the fourth planet from Ninth Sun of Pool,” the ship's computer said.

  Marcus and Genny turned to look at each other, confused as to why the computer was now giving them this info.

  “The Ringlarian was tired of her neighbor's bratty kids always stealing her garbage,” the computer continued. “Therefore, she invented stellar-beam technology which links together a series of short range bio-matter energy conversion transports allowing for long distance bio-transports. At first the stellar-beam simply transported the children into the garbage cans on varying planets, teaching them a lesson about not stealing. Later, it was patented and sold to the Galvn law enforcement agency who now uses it to apprehend criminals dumb enough to admit their guilt audibly.

  “The Ringlarian, in an odd stroke of irony, moments after being paid a wealthy sum for her invention, ran a stop sign. It was accidental of course, however, she blurted out, 'I think I just ran a stop sign.' The admission of her crime was the first account of Stellar-beam technology being used to capture a criminal. She served eight hundred years in prison.”

  “Something's wrong,” Marcus said as he looked at Anthony.

  Anthony was attempting to pull his face free.

  “I can't get out,” Anthony yelled. “My face is locked in here.”

  Marcus and Genny stepped toward Anthony, yet before they could react a flash of pink light lit up the room. As both Genny and Marcus regained their sight, only a wisp of smoke remained where Anthony had been standing.

  Chapter 6

  Genny and Marcus both blinked, trying to clear away the vision of their long time friend having disappeared. After only a second, the two darted toward the door and into the corridor trying to remember which way to go.

  “This way,” Genny yelled. “The kitchen is this way.”

  The thought of Anthony vanishing flashed in Marcus' mind. Dizziness began to creep in as the ship's on-board relaxation attempted to keep him from passing out.

  “Taam! Alvin!” Genny screamed. She grabbed Marcus, “Don't you dare pass out on me.”

  Marcus shook off the dizziness and nodded. They turned and rushed toward the kitchen, the only place on the ship they knew how to find. After a moment or two, spinning lights dropped from the ceiling, and loud alarms started ringing.

  Genny and Marcus froze. “Is that because of us, or Anthony?” Marcus asked.

  “How should I know,” Genny answered back.

  A second later, a voice, neither of them recognized came over the system. “We have taken into our custody the criminal known as,” there was a silent pause then a recording of Anthony's voice, “'Where am I? I didn't know. Holy crap, what is that thing? No don't put me in.' Please contact the Galvn law enforcement agency if you wish to contest the charges against, 'Where am I? I didn't know. Holy crap, what is that thing? No don't put me in.'”

  Marcus and Genny doubled their speed to the kitchen, and just as they entered, Taam, Bartl, and Alvin turned a corner into the kitchen as well.

  “What the heck happened?” Taam asked.

  “Man that didn't sound fun,” Bartl chimed in. “I wonder what they were putting him in?”

  “Bartl,” Taam said as he gestured for Bartl to be quiet. “Why has the Galvn law enforcement stellar-beamed Anthony off this ship?”

  Marcus almost blurted out the information, however, his brain managed to catch up with him. He quickly realized that telling Taam about their attempt to use the Psionic Link Network to spy on him may end badly for everyone.

  “Well, you see,” Marcus started.

  “I thought Anthony was dead,” Genny blurted out. “What's going on?”

  “When we escaped the Attilians,” Taam answered. “We needed to get somewhere, anywhere, safe. Apparently the computer sent us into the Galv district. As soon as we entered Galv space the computer automatically complied with Galv law to keep us safe.”

  “By complied he means our shields remodulated and we linked up with Galvn's stellar-beam system,” Bartl said.

  “What's a stellar-beam?” Genny blurted out.

  “Stellar-beam technology was invented by a Ringlarian living on Ringading...” the
computer started.

  “Computer,” Taam blurted out. “That's enough.”

  “Listen, we need to skip the inquiry for a second,” Taam said addressing Marcus and Genny. “You need to tell me what happened and quickly. Galvn has the fastest criminal processing in the known universe. They only stellar-beam people who are stupid enough to admit their crimes.”

  “Listen,” Marcus demanded. “Is Anthony alive or not?”

  “For now,” Bartl answered.

  “According to the read out they sent along with that lovely message,” Taam said. “He violated PLN–1PIN—Taam_Heezarian. They will have him processed and executed in less than one hour. So you might want to get on with the story.”

  “Anthony had the idea to ask the face hole info thingy what the deal was here,” Marcus said. “He thought it would be a good idea to ask about your true intentions. You know, why we're really here and stuff. Basically he was seeing if everything we've been told is true. He just wanted to be sure we're all safe.”

  “Oh, you can always ask Alvin for that,” Bartl chimed in. “His personality programming keeps him from lying. No matter what.”

  “Yeah that'd have been great to know hours ago,” Marcus said. “I'm sorry. That face hole learning thing seemed like a good idea.”

  “I'm curious,” Taam said. “If it told you I was lying, if it told you I kidnapped you and planned on ransoming you off to the king of Palanoosh, what then?”

  “Yeah,” Marcus replied. “I never said it was a well thought out plan, just a plan.”

  Taam exhaled then said, “This could've all been avoided if I'd realized we were in Galvn jurisdiction.”

  “We had to prioritize,” Bartl said. “There's still a chance, but it'll be close.”

  “Computer,” Taam said. “Plot a non-light drive, non-spacial bend, speed course to Galvn III. We need to arrive in the fastest way possible that won't cause the Platnium to blip on any radars. Assign all fines for unregistered speed travel to my personal CC-01 account. Estimated cost and time of arrival?”

  “We can arrive at Galvn III in thirty eight minutes. The cost will be forty-three thousand jewles and two weeks service time,” the computer responded.