Cowboy Love (BWWM Pregnancy Romance)

by Tasha Jones

  “Where did you find it?” I asked, focusing on his comment about the will rather than our appearances.

  “That flossy girl we hired last year, the one that we let go so soon after again, she filed the damn thing somewhere we never thought to look. Carrie found it when she was going over some tax returns. You can be damn pleased your secretary does her job so well. At this point she’s doing it better than you are.”

  “I’m glad you found it,” I said, looking out the window. Ingram passed slowly by us, the houses and roads that I knew so well. We stopped in front of the hotel and got out. Larry walked in first, and we followed him like children with our heads down, as if he was the angry parent.

  “I want a meeting in the conference room, now,” he barked at Carol behind the reception counter.

  “It’s available for you, Mr. Witmark,” she said right away. She glanced at me and Aaron, but when I looked up at her she looked away.

  “Tamika, you have five minutes to get yourself ready for a meeting. Aaron, I want you in there right now, we have business to discuss before Miss Davis joins us.”

  My stomach fell to my shoes. If he knew I needed freshening up, there were a lot of things he knew that I’d rather hoped he would never find out. I went to the room and took out a cream-colored dress suit with a dark brown blouse. I put it on and applied light make-up in the mirror the way I would have if I went to see an important client. I smoothed my hair down and looked at myself in the mirror.

  There were times that I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. I had no idea who I was anymore. In the mirror I saw the person I used to be, the bright-eyed teenager, in love with a troubled boy, believing that love and faith would change the world. And I also saw the woman I’d become, the adult that felt that love wasn’t enough, that hard work and perseverance was the only thing that would get me somewhere, and that I was strongest by myself.

  I took a deep breath and walked out of the hotel room, through the lobby and to the conference room.

  I knocked on the door and Larry’s harsh voice summoned me inside.

  He was sitting on the one side of the conference room table. Aaron sat on the other side. An unpleasant feeling hung in the air. Aaron looked like a scolded child, which would have been funny in another situation. Aaron was the partner of a well-to-do law firm that pulled in a lot of money a month. Larry had no say over who he was and what he did with his company. If he looked like that, what was in store for me?

  I ignored the knot of nerves that had clamped down in my stomach like a fist, and walked to the table, taking a seat next to Aaron.

  “Aaron has filled me in on where we are with the Hart Estate. From here on out it falls on Miss Bloom to sort it out. Tamika, you’re off the case. Aaron is going to take care of the last legal operations.”

  I nodded. That meant that I could go home. I’d been wanting this since the moment our plane had landed at San Antonio airport. I tried to figure out why, then, it felt like I was being kicked out of my own home.

  Ingram wasn’t home to me. It hadn’t been since my parents had moved away about four years after I’d left for Lafayette. They’d retired at the coast. I suddenly wished they were still here so I could go visit them. Ask them advice.

  “Now, on the subject of us having to pick you up this morning,” he said.

  “I can explain..."

  “I don’t want to hear it. Not now.” He held up his hand and I kept quiet. I knew better than to fight with Larry about anything. He was my boss and I didn’t often let him bully me, but I didn’t have a lot of weight to throw around.

  “I’m very disappointed in you,” Larry said and I wondered how he’d managed to sound like my father. “You know better than to get involved with clients. You’ve made this whole business a lot more difficult than it needed to be.”

  “Noah isn’t exactly a client, Larry,” I said. “He dated Miss Bloom, but they had no other relation, and to my knowledge they ended their relationship last night.”

  “Which gave you the opportunity to stay over?” Aaron asked. I glared at him. I had no idea where his hostility came from.

  “What I do with my personal time, as far as I know, is still personal.” My voice was cold and I leveled with an equally cold stare. Who was he to tell me what to do with my life? If he’d had the chance it would have been him, not Noah, and then things really would have been bad. He was lucky he’d gotten out with nothing more than a rearranged face. His reputation was still intact.

  “You’re walking on thin ice, Tamika,” Larry said to me, breaking the tension between me and Aaron. “You’re very good at what you do, and you’re one of our best employees. I’ve said this to you for a number of years. But you’re not irreplaceable. I can find another administrator. I don’t need to keep you around; I have no loyalties to someone who’s willing to throw their job away from something like an old flame.”

  My cheeks were burning and my palms were sweaty. I rubbed them against my thighs, thinking that the sweat would probably stain my skirt. Larry was completely out of line. I felt humiliated and embarrassed. He was scolding me like a child, and he wasn’t doing it in private. Aaron, one of my best friends and work colleagues, was watching.

  “What happens now?” I asked, looking at my hands.

  “I want you to get back to Lafayette on the next flight you can book. You’re done here. Aaron will stay on a bit longer, I have some things he needs to take care of before he goes home.”

  “I’ll pack my things,” I said, standing up.

  “Wait,” Larry stopped me, glancing down at the papers in front of him. “I want you to let Miss Bloom know that she’s going to take over from you, first.”

  “I’ll give her a ring,” I said.

  Larry shook his head. “No no, we do these things in person, Tamika. Protocol. It will be good for you to fix a thing or two before you leave.”

  I groaned inwardly. She was the last person in the world I wanted to see right now. Or at least, second to last. Noah came in at a screaming first.

  “Fine,” I said, and turned my back, walking out of the room. Outside the conference room I leaned against the wall and covered my face with my hands, shutting the world out. I let out a shaky breath and tried to control my emotions.

  Everything was falling apart.

  Chapter 8 - Noah

  Vanessa paced around the kitchen. Her focus wasn’t on me at all. She had the phone in her hands, looking at the screen like it was going to offer some kind of question to the answers she had inside of her.

  She’d come around about half an hour after Tamika had left, giving me too much time to think about what had been said. I regretted every single word I’d said to her. But I’d been so angry, especially when she’d mentioned my father. That had cut deeper than anything. I lived every day trying to get away from him, working my fingers to the bone so that I would be the person he never was.

  That bottle of Jack in the cupboard was a reminder that I could turn my back and say no. It was the reminder that when Tamika had left the first time I’d fallen so low that I’d nearly walked the same road. And that I’d managed to save myself.

  And what had she seen?

  The half-empty bottle, and she’d put two and two together and gotten a number that had been all wrong. If it hadn’t been for Vanessa arriving when she did, I might have taken a swig again. I’d just had enough time to shower quickly and get dressed, and she’d been there. Just in time to save myself from beating myself up.

  The kiss-and-make-up session with her didn’t do for me what I’d hoped it would. She had been happy that we were back together, that everything was fine now. She’d felt like she’d taught me a lesson by showing me she wouldn’t just stick around out of kindness. But I’d felt like the hole inside of me hadn’t closed. In fact it gaped wider.

  And the reason was standing outside in the road, waiting for another man to take her home, because I had been too pathetic.

  I sighed.

&n
bsp; Vanessa had just gotten a call from Tamika, telling her that they’d found her father’s will. A filing error on their part, apparently. She wanted to meet with her at her father’s ranch.

  “I feel like I’m going to faint,” Vanessa said. “Everything was taken away from me, and now it feels like I’ve gotten it all back in a big rush. Like a giant wave, smacking me down.”

  “I’m happy for you, darling,” I said, feeling everything but. I had to snap out of it.

  “You’ll come with me, won’t you?”

  “What?”

  “To the ranch? To talk to them about the estate. I really want you to come.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Van. I have so much that I need to do around the ranch… I haven’t done nearly enough today.” The truth was I hadn’t done anything at all. I trusted my manager would have the place under control. It felt like my whole world had been slightly skewed since Tamika had arrived.

  “Oh, please, Noah. It won’t be long, I promise. Just until we’re done talking, and then you can go again.”

  “I really don’t want to do this,” I said.

  Vanessa’s face fell and her eyes became deep and serious. “I can’t believe you’re doing this. It hasn’t been five minutes since we sorted things out between us, and you don’t want to come with me. You know how important this is to me. Why isn’t it important to you too?”

  “It’s not personal, Vanessa.” It was, actually. “I just can’t do this right now.”

  “It’s about her, isn’t it? Your fight last night about her… you don’t want to come because of her.”

  “That’s not what it’s about.”

  “I think that’s exactly what it’s about,” she said, and I looked down. I felt guilty, and the moment I did it, I knew she thought so too.

  “Fine,” I said. There was no way I was getting into an argument about Tamika. I was still trying to figure out what it was that I was feeling, never mind having to defend her in an argument.

  Defend her? What was I saying?

  “I guess I can take some time off to come,” I said and Vanessa bent down and kissed me.

  “Thank you so much,” she said.

  We drove to the ranch in separate cars. I was in my truck so I could leave again the moment it was over. Vanessa planned on staying much longer and then coming back once the day was over. I had no idea how she was running her school in Kerrville, she was here so often these days.

  We pulled into the tourist ranch and the manager bounded out with a big smile plastered across her face. She had a quick word with Vanessa, and then she disappeared again. I was relieved. I didn’t like the woman, even when I was in a good mood.

  I wasn’t in a good mood.

  A silver Mercedes came down the drive way and parked in front of the house. Tamika stepped out of it. She was wearing different clothes than that morning, an expensive looking suit with matching pencil skirt and a blouse nearly the color of her skin. She looked smart and important, and the car rounded off the image. When she saw me she froze for a split-second, but then she extended her hand to Vanessa without showing any emotion.

  “Shall we go inside?” Vanessa suggested, nodding toward the house. She walked first, Tamika followed. I walked in after them.

  We sat down at the long table in the kitchen. No one else was there, even though I knew there were lodgers at the moment. Vanessa folded her hands on the table and looked at Tamika expectantly.

  “I’m just going to get down to business, shall I?” She opened a briefcase and took out a stack of papers. “As I mentioned before, we found your father’s will. In it he appoints you as the Executor, which means from here on out the estate is your responsibility.”

  Vanessa breathed a sigh of relief and happiness, like she hadn’t heard this news already. “What about the division of assets?” she asked.

  Tamika flipped through the papers, her eyes scanning over the fine black print, and nodded slowly. “Yes, it seems you’re mentioned in the will, but that’s not my division. A lawyer will be in contact with you soon. In the meantime Aaron will still be here to answer any questions you may have. I have his contact details here for you.”

  “Thank you for this,” Vanessa said like Tamika was the one that had personally arranged it.

  “It’s not my doing, but in any case you’re welcome,” Tamika said professionally. She handed the stack of papers to Vanessa. “There are a lot of things that still need to be done around here. I made a list of everything we’d already done in the office so you can pick up where we left off, and Aaron will be able to help with any of the legal things you get stuck with. Other than that, there’s nothing left for me to do other than wish you good luck.”

  “What’s happening to you now?’ I asked, speaking for the first time. Tamika looked at me like she hadn’t realized I was there. Her face was a careful expressionless mask and I had no idea what she was thinking. She was bullet proof as ever, the sensual, emotional, warm person from last night gone.

  “I’m going back to Lafayette. There’s always more work and my boss wants me back at the office.”

  I nodded slowly. Vanessa smiled and we all stood up. When we walked toward the front door, her cell phone rang.

  “I’m very sorry, I have to take this,” she said to Tamika. She put a hand on my arm. “Will you show her out?”

  I wanted to say no, but I nodded. Tamika turned and walked toward the door. Vanessa answered her phone and disappeared into the adjacent lounge. I was left alone like man-in-the-middle. I wanted to run away from both of them. Instead I followed Tamika.

  “That’s a nice car,” I said, tracing the sleek lines of the car with my eyes.

  “It belongs to my boss. Well, I suppose it’s a rental.”

  “Better than the one you guys drove here.”

  She shrugged. “He wanted me to drive it here so I could keep up our image.”

  “The company image?” I asked. She nodded. “Why would that be a problem?”

  “It’s a long story,” she said. She looked around the ranch and sighed. For a moment her mask dropped and she looked so sad I felt like it was my job to do something about it.

  “Is he upset with you?”

  “He’s upset about my unprofessional conduct. I’m not supposed to sleep with clients.”

  “I’m not exactly..." I stilled. Her boss knew she’d spent the night? “I never really pegged you as the type to kiss and tell,” I interrupted myself.

  “I didn’t kiss and tell..." she started but I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment.

  “What the hell is all this to you? A trip down memory lane that you get to share with your new pals later?”

  “Noah, that’s not what it’s about at all. I didn’t want to come down here.”

  “No, of course you didn’t.” I was angry now. “Why would you come back to the good-for-nothing man you left behind, and the life where you groveled in the dust, when you have so much better now?” My blood boiled in my veins. I’d had about as much as I could handle.

  “You’re not being fair. I didn’t have much of a choice, but if you think about how things were when we left, do you blame me for not wanting to come back? It was bad enough having to pick myself up after you decided I wasn’t what you wanted anymore. It’s worse that I had to come back so you could rub in my face how amazing your life became after I left. And now I have to deal with it all again. Damn it, Noah!”

  It was the first time in all the time she’d been here that she showed any emotion at all. It was refreshing. And it was heartbreaking. I had no idea that it was how she felt. And somehow, knowing that it had been so bad for her, made it all that much worse. She looked like she was going to cry.

  “I find out that you replaced me. It takes one night for you to manage to fool me again – one night! – and the next morning it’s a repeat. You replace me again the moment things don’t go the way you want it.”

  I wanted her to stop.
I wanted her to pull herself together before she started crying. I didn’t do well with women crying, especially if it was my fault. And I had a feeling that this was all my fault. That I really hurt this woman, the girl I’d loved. Still loved.

  “What?’ I heard a shrill voice behind me. I turned and Vanessa stood on the porch, cellphone in hand. She stared at us, jaw dropped, eyes pained. I didn’t know how long she’d been standing there; how much she’d heard. Tamika looked up at her, too.

  “Sorry,” she said to me, and ducked into her car, slamming the door. She started the car and pulled out, turning down toward the gate and driving out of my life. I wanted to run after her. I wanted to beg her to stay. I wanted her to save my heart from shattering all over again.

  But Vanessa stomped down the porch steps and stormed towards me like hurricane, eyes spitting fire.

  “You what?” she sneered at me. She pulled her hand back and slapped me so hard my head spun to the side. The skin on my cheek smarted where her hand connected with my face, and I knew it was going to go red in about ten seconds. I turned my head slowly back to her.

  “You good-for-nothing son of a bitch!” she yelled. “I’m hardly out of the picture before you sleep with someone else? What the hell is wrong with you?” She was pretty good at putting all the pieces together. Tamika hadn’t even said it outright. I rubbed my cheek.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” I say to Vanessa. She frowned at me.

  “The hell you can’t. Who do you think you are? You can’t just throw away a relationship as long as ours and tell me you don’t have what it takes. When are you going to grow some balls and be a real man?”

  I stilled. So this is what she thought of me all this time? It was nice to finally hear the truth. It made me that much more determined.

  “You slept with her when you went to her hotel, too, didn’t you?” Vanessa asked. She looked like she was about ready to attack me. I nodded slowly. What was the point of hiding it?

  “I did. I’m sorry.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself for another slap, but when it didn’t come I opened them up again. Vanessa’s eyes were filled with tears. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she looked like she was going to collapse on herself.