by Mia Archer
We got out of the pool and there were a few more hoots and hollers from Travis followed by a surprised shout and a splash. I turned in time to see him come up splashing in the water and looking around with murder in his eyes.
“Oops,” Courtney said, looking across the pool at me and winking.
“Thanks,” I mouthed to her, careful to do it in a way that Chloe wouldn’t see me talking to her. There was still all that weirdness she around Courtney and I didn’t want to get into that right now.
“It’s cold out here,” Chloe said, wrapping her arms around her chest and shivering just a little as water dripped onto the concrete. “Where are the towels?”
I grinned. It was time for her to learn about one of the many fun things on offer at Courtney’s house. We could get into the hot tub and get warm, but that wouldn’t solve the problem of her wet hair.
So instead…
“Trust me. You’re not going to need a towel,” I said.
I opened the door to the sauna and a wave of heat washed out and over us. It felt pretty darn good.
We were even in luck. There was no one inside. The thing was big enough to fit maybe six or seven people assuming those people were in shape, but I guess most everyone was busy hanging out around the pool or in the hot tub.
Which was just fine by me. I motioned for Chloe to step in ahead of me and she let out a little contented sigh as she stepped into the dry heat.
I pulled the door shut behind us and flipped a little latch that I knew would gain us some privacy. Not that we could do much in here considering how hot it was, but you never knew.
I sat down on the wood bench and leaned against the wall. I always loved the way it felt in here. There were a lot of good memories in here too.
Awkward memories considering they mostly involved drooling over Courtney in her suit. Actually pretty much every memory I had of the sauna, pool, and hot tub before our sophomore year were of drooling over Courtney before she found out about my little crush and shut me down.
I figured now was the perfect time to make some new memories though.
“This is great,” Chloe said. “I’ve never been in anything like this before!”
She looked around in the muted glow and seemed genuinely impressed at the thing. I had to remind myself that she didn’t have access to these sorts of things her whole life because she hadn’t been friends with Courtney.
Things I took for granted were things she thought were amazing as she was seeing them for the first time tonight.
“So you like?” I asked, scooting in closer.
“I do like,” she said, turning to face me.
Oh yes. This is what I’d been hoping for all along. Sure we were sneaking off into the sauna just like we occasionally snuck off to some other part of the school to sneak in a few kisses, but there was something about having her alone in here that made it feel different.
She bit her lip and it was obvious she was going through some of the same sudden uncertainty I was feeling. I was like the dog chasing the car. Now that I’d caught it I wasn’t sure what to do.
I mean I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to kiss her. And I knew there’d be no interruptions from stupid Colin or anyone else out there trying to get turned on by the two of us kissing.
Men. They could be pigs even when they were closet cases pretending to be into girls making out.
“So you’ve got me all alone in here,” I said. “Want to see what we can do to turn up the heat?”
Chloe hesitated for a moment and then the corner of her lips turned up in a smile. She snorted just a little. I thought about how ridiculous that line actually sounded when I ran it through my head and then Chloe wasn’t the only one snorting and laughing.
Turn up the heat? Had I really just said that?
“That was so ridiculous,” Chloe said.
“Sorry,” I said. “Guess I got a little carried away there.”
“Maybe you did,” she said. “But I can totally help you get carried away.”
She leaned in close. Our lips parted. This was the moment. It was finally the two of us all alone and we could kiss without worrying about someone catching us or someone interrupting us and…
Just before our lips brushed someone banged on the door to the sauna. Loud enough that I jumped and we actually bumped foreheads.
“Ouch!” Chloe said.
“You said it,” I replied, then turned to the door. “What the hell Colin? Don’t you know what it means when a door is locked?”
“I know exactly what it means young lady, and you’re going to be in serious trouble if you don’t let me in there immediately!”
I frowned. I didn’t recognize that voice. It didn’t sound like anyone in the drama club. She sounded older, but that wasn’t Courtney’s mom. That wasn’t anyone in Courtney’s family, for that matter, and I should know. I’d met all of them over the years.
I opened my mouth to say something but a hand moved over my lips. I turned and Chloe had gone as white as a ghost.
Shit. Whoever was out there, it couldn’t be anything good if she looked that terrified. Considering what she’d done to get out here and the little white lies she’d told I also had a pretty good idea who that voice belonged to.
Crap.
22
Chloe
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I mean I could believe it was happening. It had to happen at some point. My mom had to figure out something was going on and I figured there’d be hell to pay when she figured out that the “something going on” was me dating a girl.
I just thought I’d have more time. I thought maybe it would happen when she came to see the play and figured out what it was all about. That she’d see there was something more than acting going on up on the stage.
I didn’t think it would happen tonight. I’d planned everything so well. I told her not to come until later and I didn’t have my phone on me right now, it was in my pocket back in Courtney’s room with the rest of my clothes, but I was pretty sure I hadn’t lost track of time for two hours.
I’ve heard of losing track of time when you’re with someone you really like, but that was getting ridiculous.
“It’s my mom,” I hissed. “And she sounds pissed off!”
There was more banging at the door. So loud that it was rattling.
“I can hear you talking in there young lady! You get out here and explain yourself immediately!”
It was bad enough that I knew for sure I was going to die a slow and painful death when I got out there and she saw who I was with, but there was something even worse going on now. Something that surprised me because I always would’ve figured my mom getting angry with me would’ve been about the worst thing that could happen.
Now I was thinking about everyone in the drama club though. Pretty much everyone was out there and they’d be watching my mom pounding on the sauna door.
How was that going to kill me via embarrassment? Let me count the ways. There was the fact that my mom was out there making such a big deal of everything in the first place. There was the fact that everyone out there would realize the door was locked and after that almost kiss in the pool they’d probably put two and two together about what Sarah and I were doing in here.
Even if we hadn’t gotten the chance to do anything because we’d been so rudely interrupted. Again.
It was almost enough to make me wonder if there wasn’t some higher power out there that didn’t want me kissing Sarah after all. Almost, but not quite.
I was done thinking that way.
“What do we do?” Sarah asked.
“What do you mean what do we do?” I asked. “You’re the one who has all the answers! What do we do?”
Only I could see from the blank terrified look on Sarah’s face that she had no idea what we were supposed to do. I’d gotten used to looking up to her. To figuring she had all the answers.
Maybe I’d gotten too used to the part of Sarah that
didn’t seem to care about the rules, because the rules were pounding on the other side of the door to this strange wood room that was so hot inside and I was terrified.
I glanced around looking for a second exit and knowing it was hopeless even as I did it. There was no escape. Mom was out there and there wasn’t a second door we could use to get out of here.
We were trapped.
“We have to open the door,” I said, my stomach twisting and sinking down as low as it could go even as I said it.
I didn’t think it would end like this. I thought I’d be able to think of something. Some way to explain what was going on with Sarah before I had to confess what was going on to my mom.
I never thought it would happen like this. That I wouldn’t have a chance to think of anything.
Stupid. Stupid!
Sarah moved over to the door as though in a daze. I held my hand out to stop her then stopped. What was the point in trying to stop her? It wasn’t going to change what was going to happen when she opened that door.
If anything every moment we delayed in opening the door was only going to make mom more and more angry.
Sarah flipped a little switch and there was a click. I didn’t even know she’d locked the thing. That had to make it look so much worse that she’d locked the door. It looked like we were…
Well like we were doing exactly what we’d been about to do. I figured it was just kissing, but who knew?
It sure as heck wasn’t happening now though. No, the only thing that was coming now was my imminent and painful death.
There was so much I wanted to live for, too. It was a shame. At least I got my first kiss. My first real kiss. What happened with Craig over the summer didn’t count.
Sarah pulled open the door. Mom looked between the two of us and blinked a couple of times. It was clear that whatever she was expecting it wasn’t seeing me in here behind a locked door with another girl.
“Um. Hi mom?” I said.
“Out. Now,” she said.
A moment later we were inside and back in Courtney’s room. Sarah and I were sitting a respectful distance away from one another on the pink fluffy bed with entirely too much white frill for my taste.
Like I said, the whole thing looked like a unicorn puked it up. It was so pink that even I thought she’d gone too far with the decorations.
“I want an explanation. Now,” she said.
“What are you even doing here mom?” I asked. “You weren’t supposed to be here until…”
I trailed off. I could tell as soon as the words left my mouth that they were absolutely the wrong thing to say. Her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows lowered and I don’t think I’d seen her this mad in years.
It was terrifying. The last time she was this mad was when I was playing around in the dining room and I destroyed some piece of antique glass she’d inherited from her grandmother.
I had a feeling this one was going to go down as a way bigger incident than the whole shattered glass incident though.
“Not that I owe you any explanation considering I am the parent and you are the child,” she said, taking in a deep breath. “But I tried to call you to see if everything was okay and I couldn’t get ahold of you. I called over and over but I didn’t get an answer and I didn’t have a phone number for any of the parents wherever you were rehearsing.”
She loaded “rehearsing” with so much scorn that I looked down and away as I blushed. I didn’t like that I was reacting like that, but let’s just say that the old school experience of having my mom chew me out was bringing out some old habits.
“When I couldn’t get ahold of you all I had was the address to this place so I decided to come out and make sure you weren’t laying dead in a ditch somewhere. Imagine my surprise when I get here and find out there are a bunch of people having a party.”
She crossed her arms under her breasts and stared daggers. Meanwhile I could kick myself. Turns out I had planned everything out perfectly, but I’d made a rookie mistake without even realizing it.
I didn’t think she’d try to call me. I just figured she’d come out when it was time to pick me up. My phone was sitting in Courtney’s room the entire time we were out there because I couldn’t very well fit it into my suit.
Dang it.
“So are you going to tell me what’s going on here young lady?” she asked. “Or am I going to have to go get an adult here and figure out what’s going on?”
I sighed. I don’t think it was possible for anyone to ever be as screwed as I was screwed in that moment. She had me, and there was nothing for it but to come clean.
I looked over to Sarah. She smiled and nodded. Easy for her to do. The worst that could happen to her tonight was my mom flipping out and yelling at her for a little bit. Putting “the fear of God” into her, as my mom liked to say when she really got going.
Well, I suppose she also had to worry about maybe never seeing me again. It was totally possible my mom was going to ground me for life after this.
It was a terrible thought. No more drama club. No more staying after school for rehearsals. No more starring role in the play which would mean someone else would have to take over. Which would probably mean Courtney taking over for my role.
Jealousy stabbed through me at the thought. Not because I didn’t want Courtney to play my role, though that was a small part of it, but mostly because of the weirdness between Courtney and Sarah and the weird certainty that I didn’t like the idea of the two of them up on stage together kissing and acting like they were madly in love.
Sarah reached out across the bed. She was offering me her hand. And her support. I sighed again. There was nothing to do but get this over with.
It wasn’t going to be pleasant, but sometimes you had to rip off the bandage rather than suffering.
I took her hand. Looked back to my mom. She glanced at our hands coming together and arched an eyebrow, but she didn’t blow up or anything.
“Mom. This is my girlfriend Sarah.”
She looked between the two of us and I got the feeling she didn’t quite get what I was talking about. At least she didn’t get it entirely. There was still a lack of comprehension there.
“That’s nice that you’re making friends honey,” she said. “But I have to say if your friends are bad influences on you like this then…”
“No, mom,” I said. “I don’t think you understand. This is my girlfriend Sarah.”
I wondered if it felt like this for other people coming out of the closet for the first time. My palms were all clammy and sweaty even though I was holding Sarah’s hand. I was having trouble breathing like I was on the verge of a panic attack or something. My stomach was twisted into knots anticipating the inevitable blowup and I had goose bumps all over my body.
In short I felt like I was about to ralph up everything I’d eaten all day long. And maybe some of the stuff I had to eat yesterday and the day before. That was how sick I felt looking up at my mom and dreading her reaction. Knowing it wasn’t going to be pretty.
Again she looked between the two of us. Only this time there was dawning comprehension there as she realized exactly what I was telling her. Sarah wasn’t just some upperclassman girl friend I’d made and now I was hanging out with her and making bad decisions.
She was my girlfriend. As in we were dating. An item. Exclusive. Going together. Going steady. Whatever it was old people called it when my mom was young back in the stone age.
“Oh,” she said. “Oh… I see.”
She looked around the room and I got the feeling she suddenly felt a lot like I did about a half hour ago in the sauna, my mom mentioned the name when she was marching us in here, only she was looking for an escape from the reality of what her daughter was and not from the reality of a very angry parent on the other side of the door waiting to end life as she knew it.
She wasn’t reacting quite like I would’ve imagined though. I figured there would’ve been a lot more blowing up, but she seemed
to be taking the news that her daughter was gay remarkably well.
“I think I need to sit down,” she said. “Do you mind?”
She didn’t give me a chance to tell her whether or not I minded. She stepped forward and plopped down on the bed in between us. I bounced up just a little and then there was my mom sitting between me and my girlfriend looking a little shell shocked and a little unsure what the heck she was supposed to do with this information I’d just dropped on her.
Mom looked back and forth between the two of us, but surprisingly all I saw there was curiosity. There was none of the anger or disappointment or anything else I’d expected when I was awake deep into the night staring at my ceiling and wondering how she would react in this moment.
Finally she turned to Sarah. Took a deep breath. Held a hand out.
“I suppose if you’re dating my daughter introductions are in order,” she said. “I’m Tracy. Nice to meet you.”
Sarah looked down at my mom’s hand like she wasn’t quite sure what to make of this. Obviously she was expecting an explosion or something too, and neither one of us were getting what we expected today.
I locked eyes with Sarah and nodded. Shaking hands was a lot better than getting yelled at.
I thought back to that conversation I’d had with my mom when I was rehearsing lines. When she’d gone on about wanting what was best for me. Maybe I’d underestimated my mom. Maybe I’d been so afraid of what adults would say because of how Pastor Dave acted that I hadn’t given her enough credit.
She had said she had her own wild days back when she was younger, after all. Maybe there was more to that than I thought.
Finally Sarah took her hand. Gave it a shake.
“Nice to meet you Tracy,” she said. “I’m Sarah.”
“And what grade are you in Sarah?” my mom asked, not releasing her grip.
Oh God. I thought I was going to die and be grounded forever or something, but if my mom was going to start questioning Sarah then maybe there was still a chance I was going to die from embarrassment.
“I’m a junior ma’am,” Sarah said.
