Northern Girl

by Fadette Marie Marcelle Cripps

  Hannah turned away, her lips pressed tightly together.

  Jessie’s eyes widened. ‘Well, you sayin’ nowt says all!’ There was a distinct quiver in her voice now as she glared at Hannah’s back. And with still no answer from her, Jessie continued her tirade. ‘Well, if ’ee’s thinkin’ of fetchin’ ’er back here, yer can be sure ah’ll be around ter welcome ’er. There’s a thing or two she needs ter know before she gets ’er feet under the table.’

  This obvious threat caused Hannah to grip tightly on to the front of her pinny as she answered. ‘Ah know me lad hasn’t behaved well towards yer, pet, but ah’m askin’ yer, please don’t cause any trouble when they get here, it’ll be difficult enough as it is.’

  ‘Difficult! Do yer have any idea just how difficult this whole bloody life is fer me? Huh!’ Jessie gave a bitter laugh. Then, with a jerk of her head, she rushed from the room, and out of the back door, leaving it wide open.

  As Hannah walked over to close it she shivered, even though it wasn’t really cold outside, considering it was coming up to Christmas. I wish our Rene would hurry up and get herself home from work, she thought.

  Jeannie, oblivious to what had been going on, came wandering down the stairs. ‘Gran, can yer sharpen me pencil for uz?’ she asked. She held the pencil up while absent-mindedly looking for something suitable to draw on. When there was no answer from Hannah, she walked round in front of her and peered up into her face, asking tentatively, ‘Are yer vexed with me, Gran?’

  Hannah turned towards her and cleared the lump from her throat before answering softly, ‘No, ah’m not vexed with yer, pet.’ She patted Jeannie’s head affectionately.

  ‘Who are yer vexed with, then?’ Jeannie asked.

  ‘Oh pet, ah think ah’m vexed with everything at the moment. Ah still haven’t heard anything from our Tom, either.’

  Jeannie took hold of her Gran’s hand, and said in the most consoling way she could muster, ‘Oh, he’ll be all right, Gran. Our Tom fought in t’ war and managed ter look after ’imself, didn’t he? Anyway, it’ll be Christmas soon, and he won’t want ter miss that now, will he?’

  Hannah smiled to herself, realizing just how grown-up and thoughtful her granddaughter was. She said, ‘Yes, pet, yer right. Everybody’ll be here by Christmas.’

  ‘Gran?’

  ‘Yes, pet?’

  ‘Yer know that lad what’s moved in down the road?’

  ‘The Mortimer lad?’

  ‘Yes, well, his name’s Eee-an.’

  ‘Yes, Ian Mortimer. What about him?’

  ‘Well, yer know ’ee talks posh, bein’ that ’ee comes from down South, and he’s goin’ ter be startin’ at the grammar school in Bishop?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Well, yer know ’ow we’re movin’ ter Bishop?’

  ‘Ye-es.’

  ‘Well, ah’ve told ’im that he’ll be able ter come ter visit us, and come for ’is tea an’ all sometimes.’

  ‘Well, ah don’t know what yer mam’ll ’ave ter say about that, lass.’

  ‘Well, see, ’ee doesn’t know anybody here, and ah won’t know anybody in Bishop, so what ah thought was, that ’ee could learn me ter talk posh like ’im, and that’d keep me mam happy. And ah’ll learn ’im ter talk like me, and that’ll help ’im ter fit in better at ’ees new school, cause ’ee’s a bit posh fer round ’ere, like!’

  Hannah started laughing hysterically.

  ‘Gran! Gran, what’s the matter?’ Jeannie yanked at the bottom of Hannah’s pinny and pushed it up to her hands. ‘Eee, wipe yer face, Gran. Why are yer cryin’?’

  Hannah dabbed at her eyes with the crumpled hem of her pinny. ‘Ay, pet! Yer better than any tonic, you are. Come on, let’s get tea ready fer when yer mam an’ yer grandda get home.’

  An hour or so later Rene came rushing in through the back door. ‘Look, Mam! A telegram from our Tom!’ she shouted, hardly able to contain her excitement. ‘I called in to the post office on the way home and they were just going to bring it round!’

  Hannah perked up. ‘Come on, then, lass. What does it say?’

  ‘It says, “Have found Maddie stop, all is well, stop, be home in next few days, stop, Tom”.’

  ‘And that’s it?’ Hannah said. ‘No word about whether or not he’s bringin’ this lass back with ’im?’

  Rene gave Hannah a hug. ‘There’s only so much you can say in a telegram, Mam,’ she explained. ‘He’s said the main things, that he’s all right, and that they’ve found the girl. So I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what happens next.’

  ‘Aye, yer right, pet. We’ll just ’ave ter wait and see,’ Hannah said, resigning herself. And after thinking for a few seconds, she added, ‘Eee, ah’ve had a right ter-do with Jessie this afternoon, an’ all.’

  ‘Oh well, we knew that there’d be ructions in that quarter, now, didn’t we? I’ll go down and see her later, because she’s not suited about me moving to Bishop, either. It’ll be for the best all round, Mam, if we loosen ties with her. She’s not good for our Tom, and she and I seem to have outgrown each other as well. She needs to move on. We all do.’

  ‘Well, good luck ter yer with that, pet, cause she was spittin’ blood when she left here. Mind, ah do feel a bit sorry for ’er. Our Tom could have left ’er a message or something.’

  ‘You know our Tom, Mam. He can only deal with one crisis at a time.’

  ‘Ah know, pet. Like yer said, we’ll just have ter wait and see what happens.’

  Boulogne, France

  Monday, 10 December 1945

  Saying goodbye to Nicole and Ginette had been a real ordeal for Madeleine. But she’d been heartened to hear them enthusiastically discussing their future, and how they were going to go on holiday to recuperate and talk about the changes they were going to make to their lives.

  Nicole was equally happy to find out that Madeleine was going to marry Tom, and no longer wanted an abortion. She hoped that Madeleine and her family would hold their heads up high, just as she and her mother planned to do. She knew that the people who had assaulted her and Ginette so cruelly would never be punished, but part of her didn’t mind, because she sensed that she and her maman, although victims right now, would be the winners in the end. Those monsters had inadvertently changed the course of their lives for the better.

  Nicole smiled at the memory of the recent trip into the town centre with her maman. She couldn’t remember them ever having spent the whole day shopping together before. And she’d never laughed as much, either. It had been such fun trying on all those scarves, wigs and hats, and searching for the most glamorous possible way to conceal their lack of hair.

  When they’d arrived home, they’d had a further fit of the giggles as they’d modelled their purchases for Tom, Dominic and Madeleine. And their small audience had been so touched by their bravery, and the way they were making light of their predicament, that they hadn’t known whether to laugh or cry.

  But Tom and Dominic had quickly dispelled any hint of sadness by leaping up and modelling the hats and scarves themselves, strutting arrogantly about like mannequins and striking ridiculous poses. Madeleine had laughed so much that if she’d been a few months further into her pregnancy she might have given birth there and then. It was as she was wiping away tears of merriment that she had suddenly pressed her hand to her only slightly rounded stomach and thought: I do care about this baby, and I’m going to give it a decent, happy life.

  Nicole hoped that she and the lovely Tom would succeed. For, handsome and caring as Tom was, she had no illusions about the huge problems Madeleine would face, once reality set in. Nicole worried that maybe Madeleine had been too hasty in agreeing to live in England with Tom, and that, once everything settled down, she might need to rethink the idea.

  Nicole also noticed how carefully Dominic had hidden his dismay when Madeleine had told him she’d decided to go to England. Not wanting to influence her, he’d said nothing, and just hugged her affectionately.


  Tom woke from a fitful sleep, and could think of nothing but Madeleine. Nicole had given him and Dominic her bed to sleep in; she was sharing her mother’s room. He’d had no qualms about accepting the offer, because he’d realized that Nicole probably wanted an excuse to sleep in her mother’s room. Neither she nor Ginette had actually said they were afraid to sleep alone, but they were both still very fragile, and he was sure they wanted to comfort and reassure each other.

  He glanced over at Dominic, who was still sleeping soundly. Unable to settle, he jumped out of bed and dressed quickly, before running down the stairs two at a time – the way he always did. He took the key off the hook next to the hefty front door, and carefully unlocked it, then, once outside on the top step, quietly pulled the door to, and gave it a shake to make doubly sure that it was locked. He was taking no chances. He raced down the road and into the boulangerie, where he got Céline to help him load up with as many baguettes and pastries as he could carry, sure that the others would be as hungry as he was when they awoke. He was absolutely starving, and he couldn’t think clearly about anything without food in his stomach. He was changing his whole life, after all, and he was going to need some sustenance to do that!

  Marck, France

  The journey to Marck went without incident, and when Maman rushed to embrace Madeleine, Papa noticeably held back. After she was released by Maman, uncertain what to do, Madeleine stood there looking nervously at Papa. His eyes suddenly filled with tears, he opened his arms wide, and she ran to him and sobbed.

  Tom, who’d stood to one side while all this was going on, noticed that there’d been no formal greeting of a kiss on both cheeks. Just hugs and more hugs from everyone. Martine and Simone were desperate to know what had been happening, and Madeleine didn’t keep them waiting. As soon as she’d pulled herself together, she walked over to Tom and held his hand. Then, looking at each member of her family appreciatively, she said, ‘Maman, Papa, and my two beautiful sisters …’

  Simone smiled dazzlingly.

  Madeleine bit her lip and gripped Tom’s hand tightly before continuing, ‘I have decided to go to England with Tom.’

  Maman, her lips pressed tightly together, turned away, and there was silence for a moment.

  Tom’s heart pounded when he saw tears in Martine’s eyes, Papa shaking his head sadly, and Simone just gazing at Madeleine with her mouth slightly open. He sensed Maddie’s nervousness as, with arms wide, a look of amazement on her face, she asked, ‘Why is everyone so shocked? I thought that was what you wanted!’ Tears welled up in her eyes, and as she fought them back, Tom put his hand on her shoulder.

  Simone was the first to speak. Her gaze was fixed on Madeleine. ‘Look, Madeleine, I know I haven’t been the best of sisters, but please don’t go because you think that we …’ she gestured towards the family, ‘… can’t cope with the situation. We have all discussed it, and decided that none of us care any more what other people think or say. We’re a family, and that’s all that matters.’

  Madeleine was astonished by this speech from her sister. Could her attitude have changed that much in a week? But then, she thought, look how much I’ve changed in that time.

  Martine proudly took hold of Simone’s hand, while Maman said tearfully, ‘We really all do feel the same, Madeleine. We did nothing but talk about it all while you were away, and we want you to stay. At least until you have more time to think. That’s if you want to, of course.’ She looked at her daughter pleadingly.

  Papa added, ‘Please don’t run away from us, ma fille.’

  Oh, Papa! Madeleine thought, if only you had said this a couple of weeks ago. She turned to Tom, blinking away tears, and he, having got the gist of most of the conversation, took hold of her hand again. He could see how torn she was, and, suddenly angry for her, he squared his shoulders and glanced at her sisters before addressing her parents.

  ‘God Almighty! Why on earth didn’t you discuss all this before?’ There was an embarrassed silence while Tom went on, ‘Yes, I behaved badly. But do you want to know why I didn’t write? Believe it or not it was as much for her sake as for mine. I saw no future for us in either of our countries, and I thought that we had to forget and move on with our lives. But the truth is that I couldn’t forget her.’ He looked down at Maddie. ‘And I don’t think she forgot about me, either.’

  She looked up at him and squeezed his hand.

  Dominic was wandering back up the garden from the toilet, reading a letter, when he heard Tom begin his tirade. He pushed the letter into a pocket and ran in at once. Then he stood next to Tom and translated what he was saying for the others.

  Tom, calmer now, lowered his head towards Maddie. ‘We want to get married.’

  Madeleine turned and kissed him hard on the mouth. She held out her hand towards her sisters and parents. ‘I do understand why you panicked when I first told you about the baby. Maybe we have all learned something from this, and I am so happy to know that you would have stood by me if I had decided to stay. But I think my place is with Tom now.’ She glanced at her maman and smiled, before adding, ‘That’ll be best for me and the baby. Do you remember, Maman, the conversation we had about telling my baby who it’s father was? Well, that won’t be a problem any more. So many things will be simpler.’

  ‘You do know your new life won’t be easy, don’t you, Madeleine?’ Maman said anxiously.

  ‘Yes. But I have to do this. Can’t you see that?’

  Maman hugged her youngest daughter, and whispered, ‘I am so proud of you. We will always be here for you, don’t forget that.’

  ‘I won’t, Maman.’

  ‘Come,’ her mother said, ‘talk with me in the garden while I pick some herbs for the rabbit stew.’

  Tom watched them walk off arm in arm. Then he turned to Dominic and said, ‘I still can’t believe she’s going to be mine. That she said yes.’

  ‘Of course she said yes.’ Dominic was surprised that he’d ever thought she wouldn’t. ‘She’s loved you from the day you met at that silly little fair.’ He patted Tom on the back. ‘Come on, let’s open a bottle to celebrate. This needs a proper drink. Besides, I am celebrating, also.’

  ‘Oh?’ said Tom.

  ‘Yes, I had a letter from the girl I told you about.’

  Tom looked blank for a second. ‘Ha! Not the one you met at the station in London?’

  ‘Yes, Yvette! You are obviously not taking me seriously,’ Dominic complained.

  ‘Of course I am,’ Tom said apologetically, only just beginning to realize how important this must be to Dominic.

  ‘Anyway, she would like to meet to swap stories of our journeys.’

  ‘Well, you’ll certainly have plenty to tell her, lad. That’s for sure.’

  Dominic stopped smiling. ‘Yes, I will. And thank God we arrived in time at Boulogne, Tom!’ He hardly dared think what might have happened if they hadn’t.

  ‘I only wish we’d got there quick enough to stop them hurting those poor lasses, Nicole and Ginette.’

  Papa was in the kitchen, cutting bread, and they persuaded him to sit down and share a bottle of wine with them. Dominic began telling him about their adventures in Boulogne, and, unable completely to follow what was being said, Tom glanced out of the window. He saw Madeleine talking animatedly out there in the garden, with her mother and her sisters. She was smiling, but her face shone with tears, too. The other three women were turned towards her, gazing at her with affection, and gesturing with their hands, interrupting each other to speak rapidly. It looked like a passionate debate. He was just thinking what a close family they were, and how lovely it was, when Madeleine glanced up, and caught him watching. She smiled at him, and ran for the kitchen.

  ‘Tom,’ she said, bursting in through the door from the bouanderie. ‘We’re talking about the baby, and …’ she stopped and talked incredibly fast to Dominic.

  He turned to Tom. ‘She says that she cannot have the baby in England. She knows that she cannot. How can she, if s
he cannot speak the same language as the doctor?’

  ‘But I’ll be there,’ Tom said. ‘She can talk to me.’

  ‘But what if there are … how do you say … problems, complications? No, it’s impossible.’ Dominic continued talking, and Tom had the odd feeling he was putting his own point of view, just as much as Madeleine’s. ‘You must see this, Tom. And you know, when a woman has a baby, she needs her mother to be there. It’s a profound connection. To have your baby among strangers, to be without your mother at so vulnerable a time … this is insupportable.’

  ‘So what are you saying?’ Tom asked, feeling himself grow cold with apprehension. Madeleine stood next to the table, clutching her hands, her huge brown eyes fixed pleadingly on his. Her face was alive, expectant. He thought she’d never looked more beautiful. He knew he couldn’t bear to lose her now. He’d agree to anything as long as that didn’t happen.

  ‘Madeleine is saying, we are saying, please, can she stay here to have the baby, and then come to England to be with you? Will you do that for us, Tom? Will you do that for me? For our friendship?’

  Maman bustled in, then. She quickly added a garnish of parsley to the stew before setting it on the table, and asking if anyone was hungry. Madeleine sat next to Tom, and slipped her hand in his, and all the time they ate he felt her glancing at him, begging him to give way about the baby. But really it was not his decision any more. And when they’d all demolished the rich, savoury rabbit stew, cleaning their bowls spotless with thick chunks of bread, Dominic raised his glass and looked at Tom. ‘To the future,’ he said meaningfully.

  ‘Yes. The future,’ Tom responded, and he knew as he did, and as Martine and Simone and Madeleine, and Maman and Papa clinked their glasses to his, that he’d agreed. Madeleine would stay.

  Chapter 24