Love Unbidden: Tales of the Bedford Street Brigade

by Landon, Laura

  Bright lights exploded behind her closed eyelids. Fiery bolts of lightning shot through her body. Harsh gasps of air threatened to overtake her. She was no longer in control of her emotions. No longer in control of rational thought. No longer in control of anything.

  When she thought she couldn’t endure another second of his kisses, he lifted his head and broke their contact.

  She gasped, then took in huge breaths of air as if she was coming up for air after nearly drowning. She been so cold earlier she couldn’t say a complete sentence without her teeth chattering. Now, she was so fevered she wanted to throw off the covers and rush outside to cool her burning flesh.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  She nodded, but she couldn’t speak.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I had no right.”

  Lorna experienced a wave of embarrassment. She wanted to push herself off his lap, but doubted her legs would support her. Instead, she tucked her head beneath his chin and nestled closer against him. “Please, don’t apologize. You couldn’t have found a better way to stop my teeth from chattering if you’d tried.”

  Her head was pressed against his chest and she heard his laughter rumble beneath her ear. “How inventive of me,” he said on a chuckle.

  “Yes,” she sighed, then hesitated. She knew she shouldn’t ask the niggling question that refused to go away, but she needed to know. “Why did you kiss me?”

  There was a long pause, then she felt his chest expand as he took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

  She tilted her chin upward and looked at him. “You don’t know?”

  He smiled down on her and shook his head. “I don’t know. Other than that I wanted to.”

  She tucked her head back against him. “That’s rather confusing, isn’t it?”

  “For you? Or, for me?”

  “Not for me. I found it a pleasant experience, considering I don’t harbor any expectations. But I can’t imagine it is the same for you.”

  “You don’t think I enjoyed kissing you?”

  “I don’t think you will allow yourself to enjoy the kiss we shared.”

  “Why do you think that?” he asked.

  “Because you did something you had no intention of doing, and cannot explain your actions. I imagine you are a man who never reacts without knowing why you are taking an action, and what the outcome of that action will be.”

  “You think I am that methodical?”

  “I think as an investigator, you are extremely disciplined. I think you possess amazing talents for putting yourself in someone else’s mind and knowing what action they are going to take. I can’t imagine your frustration at not being able to explain your own actions.”

  He pulled the covers about her more securely but he didn’t release her. “That’s very astute of you, Lady Lorna. Or, after what just transpired between us, may I have permission to call you Lorna?”

  “You may.”

  “And you may call me Hugh.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” he said, then leaned his head back against the chair.

  She knew he was deep in thought. “What are you thinking?” she asked.

  “You know we can never do that again,” he said.

  “Yes,” she answered. “But not for the same reason as you give yourself.”

  The muscles holding her tensed. “Please explain.”

  “You’re telling yourself that you did something wrong when you kissed me. That your actions might have consequences you don’t want to consider. I, on the other hand, consider what we did wonderful. So wonderful that I couldn’t stop you from kissing me again. And that would be the biggest mistake of my life.”

  After a lengthy pause, he said, “We need to return to London.”

  She stiffened. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

  “We have to. We have to face your cousin. You have to tell him you know his plan, and you have to say so in front of witnesses.”

  She shook her head. “Not before I reach my majority. I won’t be safe.”

  “I will keep you safe. Have you forgotten, I promised to protect you?”

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to trust anyone,” she said.

  “Then it’s time you relearned how.”

  But Lorna knew putting her life in someone else’s hands was not a possibility until she was certain she would be safe. And that wouldn’t come until after her twenty-first birthday.

  . . .

  She needed a plan. Her desperation to escape him was never more urgent than it was now. Especially after his announcement last night that he intended to take her back to London. He didn’t realize that she couldn’t trust him. He didn’t understand how it was to be a woman and be at the mercy of a man. Or maybe he didn’t believe the danger she’d be in if she was forced to marry Burlingdon.

  She laid awake the entire night thinking of a plan to escape his watchful eyes and only one possibility came to mind. As they ate breakfast, she realized she had to set her plan in motion. She prayed she had the courage to have the discussion with him she had to have, but there wasn’t any way she could avoid it.

  “Are you still hungry,” he asked as he gathered their breakfast dishes and put them on the tray. “Or are you biting your nails for another reason?”

  Lorna pulled her fingers from her mouth and placed her trembling hands in her lap. “I’m finished.” She rose and walked to the window so she didn’t have to face him. “I need to speak with you, and I find the subject I need to discuss rather uncomfortable.”

  He leaned back in his chair. “Very well. What is it?”

  “It’s… Well, it’s…” She stopped to take a deep breath. “I’d like for you to move to a room of your own.”

  He paused for a few moments. “Is this because I kissed you? If you don’t feel safe with me any longer, let me assure you that—”

  She turned. “No, it has nothing to do with…that. I just need to be alone for a while.”

  “Are you afraid the ton will find out and you’ll be forced to marry me?”

  “No. We’re far enough from London that no one will find out. And even if they did, I wouldn’t be forced to marry you. I refuse to let anyone’s opinion force me to marry.”

  “Yes, you’ve mentioned that. And in that regard we are in total agreement.”

  “I would just like to be alone,” she whispered. “At least for a few days.”

  “Why for just a few da—” He stopped short, then continued when understanding dawned. “Oh. Do you become ill during your time?”

  “Ill?”

  “Yes, my wife often suffered during that time.”

  Lorna lifted her gaze. “Your wife? You were married?”

  “Yes. And that time each month was often painful.”

  Lorna shook her head. “No, I don’t suffer in that regard.”

  “I’m glad. And I understand your need for privacy. My wife preferred to be alone when she suffered from her monthly bleeding.” He turned to the door. “I’ll ask Mrs. Grady if she has a vacant room nearby.”

  He opened the door to leave but she stopped him. “Thank you, Mr. Baxter.”

  He nodded and closed the door behind him.

  . . .

  Hugh spent a restless night sleeping in a room several doors from where Lorna slept. He knew his unease was because he wasn’t there to watch her. Because he wasn’t next to her to make sure she was safe. But he understood her need for privacy. His wife had wanted to be separated from him during that time, too. Especially the first day or two.

  He dressed, then went below to get their breakfast. If she were like his wife, hot coffee and toast would be as much as she’d want for breakfast. But then, Angela had always been ill, where Lorna said she seldom was.

  “Have you come for a tray, Mr. Baxter?”

  “Yes, Mrs. Grady.”

  “Have a seat, then, and I’ll get one ready and bring it right out.”

 
She slid a mug of hot coffee toward him and Hugh took it to a table nearby and sat. He had several things to consider before he broached the subject of going back to London. The thought of returning to where her cousin could reach her terrified her. Perhaps being so vulnerable would frighten him, too, if he were in her place.

  If only she could trust him to protect her. But if he were in her shoes he wasn’t sure he would react any differently.

  Hugh took a swallow of the coffee then stared at the strong liquid. Nothing confused him more than how he felt about Lady Lorna Willis. He hadn’t felt this way about any woman since he’d first met Angela more than three years ago. He thought that part of his heart had died along with her.

  But every time he was near Lorna, his body came alive like it hadn’t since he’d held Angela in his arms. Last night he’d awakened dreaming about her. Wanting her.

  He wrapped his hands around the warm cup. She wasn’t at all like Angela. Angela had needed him, had relied on him. Had depended on him to provide for her and keep her safe. And he hadn’t.

  Lorna was entirely different. She didn’t need him, or anyone. She’d convinced herself she only needed to rely on herself. And she definitely didn’t need him to provide for her. Once she reached her majority, she’d have more money than she could spend in ten lifetimes. But for a while at least, she needed him to keep her safe. She needed him to protect her from the forces that intended to harm her. Even if she didn’t think she did. Even if she didn’t realize that there were some things in this world that bravery couldn’t fight.

  And she was the most courageous woman he’d ever met.

  How many women would dare to travel alone and unescorted across England in the dead of winter? How many women were valiant enough to brave the elements in order to reach Scotland? How many women would push themselves past the point of exhaustion in order to reach safety?

  Hugh released the mug of cooling coffee and fought the steady thrumming of his heart. And anyone who’d gone to the lengths to which Lorna had gone to escape, would not yield to his threat to take her back to London. She’d traveled too far not to escape his clutches the minute she had the chance.

  Bloody hell! She’d traveled too far not to escape…

  He bolted to his feet and raced up the stairs, calling himself every kind of fool with each thundering footstep.

  Why hadn’t he seen through her charade?

  He reached the top of the stairs, then ran down the hall. He didn’t stop to knock. A voice inside told him if he interrupted her in the midst of taking care of her needs, or caught her without being fully dressed, he’d apologize later.

  But he knew he wouldn’t be required to apologize. He knew before he threw open the door that there wouldn’t be anyone inside the room to apologize to.

  He threw the door open with such force that it bounced when it hit the wall.

  He rushed into the room and looked around at the empty space.

  “Damn you, Lorna!”

  CHAPTER 5

  For three days, Lorna had avoided the well-traveled roads as she made her way northward by less-traveled back roads. Only once did she enter a town, and that was to buy food for her journey. She thought she would feel a pang of guilt when she handed over the coin she’d stolen from Hugh’s jacket pocket to pay for her food, but she didn’t. She’d make sure he was repaid when she got her inheritance.

  Other than being cold, the weather had cooperated—until today. Last night she’d taken refuge in a farmer’s barn. She’d slept on a pile of clean straw and covered herself with several horse blankets. When she woke this morning, several inches of snow covered the ground and a gusty wind blew from the north.

  She hated that each step she took left a trail that Hugh could follow, but prayed she was far enough ahead of him that the falling snow would hide her footprints.

  She pulled the collar of the heavy coat she’d borrowed from Mrs. Grady around her neck, and trudged through the building snow. According to a faded sign she passed, she was nearing Orton. Although she’d never been there, she knew she was on the right path to reach the Scottish border. A ray of hope set her heart beating faster.

  She lengthened her strides and lowered her head. The wind still gusted from the north, and the snow came down harder. If Hugh had not been on her heels, she’d stop for a few hours to warm her hands and feet. But she couldn’t afford that luxury. She could feel him breathing down her neck.

  Lorna turned around as if she expected him to be there, but the path behind her was clear. She breathed a sigh of relief, then turned back to continue forward.

  After only a few more steps, his voice stopped her.

  “Stand where you are, Lorna. So help me, if you dare run, I can’t guarantee what I’ll do.”

  She looked both directions, praying that an escape would appear. But there was nothing. Only the snow swirling around her.

  With a sigh of defeat she turned, then focused on where Hugh sat atop his large steed. He was dressed all in black: black hat and gloves; a black greatcoat; black boots; and a black expression that darkened his features.

  He didn’t dismount from his horse, nor did he approach her, but glared at her as if he didn’t trust himself to come close to her for fear of what he might do.

  She studied him for a few moments, then glared at him, trying to hide the fear and trepidation building inside her. “Would it be so hard for you to return to London and tell my cousin that you couldn’t find me?”

  He anchored one fist on his thigh and leaned forward a few inches. Those inches seemed to bring him next to her.

  “Do you honestly think that fleeing to Scotland will solve your problems? Are you so naïve that you think your cousin’s greed will simply evaporate once you turn twenty-one? You’re worth a bloody fortune, Lorna. And your cousin wants it!”

  The man who’d rescued her, and cared for her, and kissed her, pounded his fist against his thigh. He was angry. Angrier than she’d ever seen him. His next words confirmed it.

  “Do you think such an insignificant matter as your age will deter him from getting what he wants? There are other ways to get your inheritance than forcing you to marry. Ways that don’t include having to share your inheritance with Lord Burlingdon!”

  Lorna stared at him. She wasn’t sure she understood his meaning. His next words made that inference plain.

  “You’ll be worth that amount whether you’re twenty or twenty-one. Whether you’re alive…or dead.”

  The air left her body. She staggered and reached out, but there was nothing there to help her. Her knees gave out beneath her. Fortunately, Hugh was at her side before she hit the ground.

  He pulled her to him and swung her into his arms. “You little fool. Is it so hard to trust me? Can’t you accept my promise not to let anything happen to you?”

  He carried her to his horse. “Wrap your arms around my neck and hold tight.”

  He kept one arm wrapped tightly around her, then used his other hand to pull himself onto the saddle. With a sharp tug, he urged the horse to move.

  “Where are we going?”

  “We’re not going back…yet—if that’s what you’re asking.” He didn’t say more for several long seconds, then continued. “My family has an estate close to here.”

  “An estate?”

  “Winsome Abbey.”

  “You’re related to the Earl of Winsome?”

  “He’s my father.”

  “You’re—”

  “I’m Hugh Baxter. An investigator with the Bedford Brigade.”

  “And the son of the Earl of Winsome.”

  “The second son.”

  Lorna wondered what more she didn’t know about him. “Why didn’t you mention that before?”

  “Because it wasn’t important. Now, pull my coat around you and try to stay warm.”

  Lorna snuggled closer to Hugh’s warm body as they continued northward. She’d been cold earlier, but the heat from his body radiated through her until she was
didn’t notice the sharp wind still blowing, or the snowflakes fluttering around them.

  For many days she’d fought the emotions raging through her. Since she’d regained consciousness and found him sitting at her bedside. Since she realized how much she cared for him, and dreamed that perhaps he could learn to care for her at least a little.

  They rode in silence for an hour or more, then Hugh turned his horse into a long tree-lined lane. Winsome Abbey stood in all its majesty at the end of the lane.

  The U-shaped manor house was gigantic in size, and built from gray stone. Several tall windows lined the front of the house as a welcoming invitation.

  When he reached the apex of the half-circle drive, a young lad ran toward them to take their horse.

  “Give me your hand,” Hugh said, then slid her to her from the horse’s back.

  Her feet were numb from the cold and Lorna was thankful that he wrapped his arm around her waist when he dismounted or she was afraid she might slump to the ground.

  “Mr. Baxter,” the butler in maroon and black livery said from the open doorway. “Welcome home.”

  “Thank you, Higgins.”

  Hugh led her into the house, then took her coat and handed it to the butler.

  “Higgins, this is Lady Lorna Willis. Please inform the upstairs staff that we have a guest, and ask Cook to prepare a tray. We are cold and hungry. Is there a fire going in the morning room?”

  “Yes, Mr. Baxter.”

  “Good. Send tea and sandwiches there. And bring a shawl for Lady Willis.”

  “Very good, Mr. Baxter.”

  “And Higgins. Have Mrs. Dundee get some clothes from Lady Alice’s room. They should fit Lady Lorna.”

  “Yes, Mr. Baxter.”

  Higgins nodded, then led the way down a long hall. He opened the third door on their left and stepped back for them to enter. “I’ll return shortly with something warm to drink.”

  “Thank you, Higgins.”

  The butler left the room and they were alone.

  Lorna took in her surroundings. The walls were papered in bright yellow, with orange and white accents, and long, multi-paned windows faced the east. She imagined how pleasant this room was on sunny mornings.