A Father's Vow

by Tina Leonard

  So that when she screamed a woman’s cry of pleasure, his name fierce on her lips, the sound drove him over the edge into her waiting arms, his own release screaming from his body into hers, the shudders rocking him so hard that all he could do was close his eyes and hang on.

  To the woman he’d never stopped wanting.

  * * *

  THEY DOZED, replete in each other’s arms. It could have only been thirty minutes before Carolyn awakened, realizing her arms were wrapped around Ben, his a shelter around her.

  “Ben,” she whispered.

  He opened his eyes to look at her. A smile slowly spread across his lips. “You’re beautiful.”

  Her own smile bloomed as she realized that he meant it. All her fears about her body, her scar and patch—none of that had lessened her in Ben’s eyes. “Thank you. You’re quite the Adonis in your own right.”

  Rolling her over so that he pinned her beneath him, he said, “I’m made of marble right now. It’s instantaneous when I’m with you.”

  Anticipation shivered through her. “I woke you up to tell you I really need to get back to Christine. I’ve been away too long.”

  “I know.” He took one rounded nipple in his mouth, sucking for an instant so that Carolyn felt warmth spreading between her legs again. “I need to get to the hospital myself. But I don’t want to let you go, either. Promise me you won’t stay away from me very long,” he said, stroking between her legs and finding the warm invitation he sought. “Promise me,” he said, sliding easily inside her, his full length deep within her. “I don’t want to ever lose you again.” He kissed her parted lips, then lowered one hand to stroke the sensitive nub nestled between her thighs. He was sheathed so tightly within her that Carolyn could feel the pleasure building faster than she could control. “Never,” he told her, pumping inside her so that she knew she was going over the edge. “It’s the only promise I’ll ever ask of you, but I can’t stand the thought of not being able to have you in my life.” He kissed her deeply, and Carolyn could only answer, “Yes, yes,” as he caught her cry of shattering pleasure in his mouth.

  * * *

  CAROLYN PUT HER hot-pink evening gown back on and Ben zipped the dress, lingering at her neck to kiss her and hold her against him one last time.

  Then he put on jeans and a sweatshirt, since he was going straight to the hospital. “Let me at least fix you a coffee before I take you home,” he offered.

  “That sounds good, but I’ll get it started.” Carolyn went into the kitchen and filled the coffeepot with water.

  When a key rasped in the lock of the front door, she froze, the carafe in her hand. “Ben,” she called. “Ben! Someone’s coming in!”

  He came out of the bedroom, but her eyes were fixed on the front door as it opened.

  Marissa had come home.

  She stared at both of them, her expression surprised and dismayed. “I’m—I’m so sorry, Ben,” she said. “I had no idea.”

  “It’s all right,” he said quickly, but Carolyn’s ears were ringing.

  “I always stay here,” Marissa explained. “It never occurred to me that I should have gotten a hotel room.”

  “It’s fine, Marissa. Put your stuff in your room. I’m just driving Carolyn home.”

  Completely numb, Carolyn allowed Ben to take her by the arm, her eyes meeting Marissa’s as she passed by. The look in Ben’s ex-wife’s eyes was one of shock. Pain. Disbelief.

  Everything that was in Carolyn’s heart.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CAROLYN QUIETLY followed Ben to his truck, completely numb. He helped her up, adjusting the skirt of her gown so she wouldn’t trip, and closed the door. Then he got in the driver’s side, silently starting the engine.

  “That was awkward, and I apologize, Carolyn.”

  She didn’t know what to say, but seeing Marissa hadn’t capped off the wonderful dream of reuniting with Ben that Carolyn had had just moments before. “I…she did tell me when I called her that she’d be in tonight, but for some reason I didn’t think she meant your house. Of course, it’s her house, too, I guess.”

  Guilt flushed Carolyn’s cheeks. The last thing she’d expected to feel tonight was humiliation and embarrassment. What she and Ben had shared was beautiful—or at least she had wanted it to be. Not furtive. Not secretive.

  “It’s not her home because she’s rarely in Texas. She stays here when she’s in town because the nearest hotel is miles away and Lucy would spend the whole time being shuttled back and forth, which would tire her out. Marissa has her own room, and we’ve managed to maintain an amicable divorce. I wanted it that way for Lucy’s sake.”

  “Of course you do,” Carolyn said softly, her brain whirring and confused. “The setup is perfectly reasonable considering your situation.” It would be silly for Ben and Marissa to be in different places when they needed to share the care of their little girl.

  And yet Carolyn couldn’t help feeling disconcerted and upset, as irrational as it seemed on the surface. She wanted Ben to herself, wanted their moments alone to be private.

  “It was awkward as hell,” Ben said, “and I apologize to you from the bottom of my heart. It’s the last thing I would have wanted to happen on the night I just found you again.” He stopped the truck on the side of the road and took her face between his hands. “Everything about you is special, Carolyn. Please don’t let this scare you off. I meant it when I said I couldn’t bear to lose you again.”

  She closed her eyes as he kissed her, trying to pull the pieces of the incredible dream back together.

  But somehow, they just wouldn’t fit seamlessly together the way they had before.

  * * *

  “AND THEN she walked in the door,” Carolyn said to Christine. “In a flash, all logical reason flew right out of my head.”

  She was perched on the sofa with her sister next to her. Christine wore lounging pajamas, but not because she was feeling ill. She simply wanted to enjoy one more day of being lazy before she flew home. Carolyn had driven home on her lunch break. She’d needed someone to spill her feelings to before the sadness managed to overwhelm her. “And what’s even worse, all these stupid scenarios keep popping into my mind. It was the look on Marissa’s face that stunned me, and which I keep seeing. She looked so unhappy, as if Ben were cheating on her.”

  “Wasn’t she the one who left the marriage? Because of her career?” Christine’s forehead wrinkled in a frown.

  “I think it was pretty much mutual. Both wanted a divorce. I’m not trying to be selfish, I don’t think. I understand how much Lucy needs both her parents right now. Especially right now.”

  Christine put a hand on Carolyn’s knee, patting it. “Carolyn, no one, absolutely no one, not even the most secure woman in the world—and I’m talking secure as in Dr. Ruth even—wants to see the ex-wife right after making incredible love with the ex-wife’s husband. I mean, what are you supposed to feel? Like throwing a welcome home party for her?”

  Carolyn smiled. “No, but I’m probably overdoing the worry routine.”

  “I don’t know about that.” Christine picked up a mirror and tweezers and started to pluck her brows. “Let’s just hope my bone marrow takes off like a rocket inside Lucy and squashes the hell out of her leukemia so that Mama can get on the plane and head back to wherever starlet models go.” She hesitated, holding the tweezers near her brow. “I would guess I have extrahealthy cells and other stuff, wouldn’t you? I mean, Lucy couldn’t have gotten better leukemia-fighting stuff from Superwoman, right?”

  Carolyn laughed at her sister’s ego. “No doubt.”

  “Well, then. My marrow is on its way to enabling Marissa to fly back off into the sunset. Not that I’m wishing her little girl to be motherless or anything. I mean, if Marissa and Ben could give
that sweet little girl a real family, I’d be all for it. But that isn’t going to happen, so I’d say there’s nothing standing in the way of you and Ben and Lucy one day staying in the ranch house, and Marissa staying in a hotel at Christmas.” She beamed at Carolyn. “Problem solved.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Carolyn rose to head back to the office. “Thanks for listening.”

  “I’m fixing spaghetti for dinner. Invite Ben,” Christine commanded.

  Carolyn started to say okay, but the words halted on her lips as she realized she just couldn’t call him and extend an invitation.

  It seemed better to wait until Marissa was gone again.

  * * *

  “THE THING IS, Ben, I’m out of work for now,” Marissa said calmly as they sat outside Lucy’s room. “I’m between assignments. Since you’ve had to spend so much of the time caring for Lucy, it’s my turn.”

  Ben wondered if the Trojan horse his ex-wife was offering carried unseen weapons. “I haven’t had to take care of Lucy, Marissa. I’m her father. We don’t need to take turns, as you suggest. You do whatever you feel like you can to help her.”

  “You make it sound like you’re saying, ‘In your limited capacity for motherhood, Marissa, any contribution will be acceptable.’“

  “You’re putting meaning into my words which isn’t there.”

  They sat silently in the hospital corridor, and Ben had one ear listening in case Lucy awakened.

  “I need to go by and thank Christine St. Clair for donating to Lucy,’ Marissa said. “I was starting to give up hope, as much as I hate to admit it.”

  Ben grunted, not about to say that he’d been frightened out of his wits about the same thing. It was past, it was over, and he didn’t need to share those emotions with Marissa. “I’ll give you the phone number where Christine is staying. You can call her and see if she’s up to seeing anyone.”

  “You mean me.”

  “No, I didn’t. Although I’m sure she knows about the other night with Carolyn. I know it was hard on both of you.” He glanced at his ex-wife. “I apologize for allowing you to walk into an uncomfortable situation.”

  She sighed. “You didn’t know when I was arriving, Ben. It’s not your fault. It’s not Carolyn’s fault. It’s just one of those crazy things that can happen when people split up and then still have connections in their lives. We all have to be mature and grit past some things which are not to our liking. But I think that for everyone’s sake, it might be best if I stayed in a hotel this trip.”

  “It’s not necessary this time. There’s no reason to have you do that. Your things are at the house, and you’re comfortable there. I pack easier and lighter than you do, anyway. I’ll stay in a hotel closer to the hospital. The only reason I wasn’t staying here was because Lucy’s pet menagerie needs attention. You can do that.”

  “Oh, joy,” Marissa said dryly.

  But it wasn’t a mean comment, it was simply typical Marissa. Feeding cats and dogs was too unglamourous a job for her not to voice a complaint.

  “I know it’s for the best for you to stay in a hotel, but I have to admit I’ll miss being a family,” Marissa said sadly. “Despite the separate rooms and the closed bedroom doors, I could count on the mornings when we were a family again.”

  He knew what she meant. It was the one time everything felt right again, but they had both known they were putting forth the effort for Lucy, because of her illness. Neither of them had known how long she might have had to live, and it had seemed cruel to snatch the security away from her. But now, it seemed, Lucy was on the mend.

  And so were their lives. “I know,” he said. “I’ll miss it, but in a way, it’s nice to be able to move forward.”

  “Mommy? Daddy?” Lucy called.

  They got up and went into her room to kiss her and hug her and tell her how beautiful she was. Ben gave his daughter a special hug, holding her tight so that he could cherish her and smell her and thank God for her. But in so doing, he missed the look of pain and regret that flashed in Marissa’s eyes.

  * * *

  “BACK AT your desk, Carolyn?” Dylan asked, coming in the office door. “No wedding hangover for you, I guess.”

  She made herself smile. “I’m fine. How about you? And did Lily and Cole get off on their honeymoon all right?”

  Dylan flipped through some mail as he answered, “The bride and groom went off in a hail of birdseed, and I went to bed a bit tipsy. Just a bit.” He looked up. “I felt I deserved it after all I went through planning the wedding.”

  “Right.” Carolyn smiled.

  “So, how’s the little girl?”

  “So far, so good.”

  “I enjoyed meeting Ben. Of course, he couldn’t say enough about your work for him in locating his brother, although I wouldn’t have expected anything else by the looks of how close you two were dancing.” He grinned at her.

  Carolyn glanced down until the heat of the blush left her cheeks. When she looked up, Dylan was smiling at her.

  “So, you’ll give me a full report on how the case wrapped up?” he asked, sparing her further teasing. “Including the information you gave the police concerning the additional birth records you located at Dr. Benton’s house. Even though those records are the authorities’ responsibility, it’s good to have them in the wrap-up in case we ever need to testify in a court case or if the police have further questions they want to ask you. Make the final report as detailed as possible.”

  “I understand.”

  “Good. I’m heading to the library as long as you feel you can hold down the fort.”

  “I think I’ve got it under control.”

  “You can reach me on my cell phone if anything comes up.”

  “I know.” She smiled.

  “You did a good job, Carolyn. We’re lucky you came to work for Finders Keepers.”

  Surprise kept her silent for a moment. “Thanks, Dylan.”

  “Bye.”

  He left, the door closing behind him with a swoosh. Carolyn stared after her boss, so pleased with his compliment that it took her a moment to realize that a delivery van had stopped outside the Garrett ranch house. She hurried to the front door to receive the most enormous vase of red roses sprinkled with baby’s breath she’d ever seen.

  “Sign here,” the delivery man said. “The delivery is for Carolyn St. Clair—are you her?”

  “Yes!” Stunned, Carolyn watched as he set the roses on the desk. There had to be three dozen in the lovely swirled cut-glass vase. She scribbled her name on the register, saw the delivery man out, and snatched the card from the roses.

  “You never left my heart,” she read, “and you never will. Ben.”

  She pressed the card to her lips, touched. Closing her eyes, she buried her nose into the roses, breathing deeply, enjoying the soft fragrance and silky petals.

  Maybe, just maybe, this time she and Ben did have a chance. It meant believing there was one more miracle out there, this time with her and Ben’s names on it.

  * * *

  CHRISTINE LOOKED at the gorgeous blonde who was paying her a social call, accepted the painted pot of mums she offered and ushered her in. “It’s nice of you to come by, Marissa. You certainly didn’t have to.”

  “It’s the very least I can do, considering what you did for my daughter.” Marissa perched on the edge of the sofa, uncomfortable but bent on doing her duty. Christine could see why Marissa made Carolyn uncomfortable. Carolyn was cute and sweet in appearance like Sandra Bullock, but Marissa was classically beautiful in the manner of Christie Brinkley.

  Christine said, “Can I get you a glass of tea?”

  “No, thanks. I can’t stay long.”

  So Christine sat, tucking long legs beneath her on the so
fa. “How is Lucy doing?”

  “Ben and I can hardly believe it, but she seems much better. Much better than we expected, anyway, or dared to hope. We suffered so long, you know, afraid that there was simply never going to be a miracle. We’re very grateful to you.”

  “Mmm.” Christine counted four “we’s” or other references in Marissa’s speech to her and Ben as a couple. Implied intimacy, of course. “I was happy to do it for Carolyn’s sake.”

  “Carolyn’s sake?” Marissa’s eyebrows rose in confusion.

  “Well, she’s crazy about Lucy, you know. Of course, I’d never met Lucy, but all Carolyn could talk about was Lucy. She and Ben were just about going crazy looking for his brother, which could have been a pipe dream, for all they knew. But Ben and Carolyn were determined not to give up. When they found the brother, their hopes went so high, and then were dashed when he wasn’t a match. What could I do but try to make my sister and Ben happy?” she asked, her face innocent as she counted the number of times she’d communicated the relationship between her sister and Ben to Marissa. Because of course that’s why Marissa was here: she was on a fact-finding mission. Marissa and Christine were sophisticated women. Just because Marissa knew that Carolyn and Ben had spent time in the bedroom together didn’t mean that love was brewing.

  Christine was happy to answer all questions, both spoken and unspoken. “So, when are you heading back to California? Do you already have a shoot lined up?”