Alpha Goddess

by Amalie Howard

  Dev’s words were not a question, but a statement, almost as if he’d been expecting Kyle to walk through the door. This infuriated Kyle to no end. Everything about this boy infuriated him—the way he dressed, the way he talked, the way he felt that Sera belonged to him. Sera might not see the underlying territorialism, but Kyle saw it in black and white.

  He nodded toward the empty cafeteria. Dev followed him in and perched on the edge of the table. He quirked an eyebrow, making Kyle’s irritation soar again.

  “Did you see Sera today?”

  “Not here.” The answer was evasive and obvious. Kyle’s anger rocketed.

  “I didn’t ask you that. I asked you if you saw Sera today.”

  “Yes. I saw Sera today.”

  “When?”

  “Earlier this morning. We went for a walk.” Dev held his stare. “Why don’t you ask Sera yourself? You’re good friends, aren’t you?”

  “Best friends.” Kyle gritted his teeth. “Look, I don’t know what happened over the summer with you two, but Sera is with me. OK?”

  Dev studied him, a faint smile playing at the corner of his lips. “Shouldn’t Sera decide who she’s with? If you’re here now, maybe she doesn’t know that you’re doing this. Let her choose.”

  “So there is something between the two of you?”

  A slow smile crossed Dev’s face, setting Kyle’s nerves on edge. “It’s more than just something, but I’m sure her best friend would only want her to be happy, even if she is with someone else.”

  Kyle advanced on Dev, who stood his ground. “Is that supposed to be you? You’re not even her type!”

  “And just what is her type? You? A boy who doesn’t know who he is? What his destiny is? Where he comes from? What he’s meant for?” Dev’s voice had taken on a strange tone that made Kyle uncomfortable. His questions were too acute, too sharp.

  He squinted at Dev. The boy was human, that much he knew from the last time he’d checked. But there was something else, something elusive under his essence. He’d felt the same thing with Sera’s mother, the sensation that there was something hidden beneath. Kyle opened his gift toward Dev.

  Every logical part of him said that the boy was human, but Dev felt too perfect, almost as if he were constructed out of something else. It was different from a shade, and that was what confused Kyle momentarily. There was no shade.

  Kyle pushed harder, invoking his ability deeper than he’d ever done, searching for the boy’s very essence—the source of the energy. He felt nothing. Everything around the boy felt like nothing. But there was no creature on Earth that had no energy at all, not even demons. Every thing had energy, whether negative or positive, bad or good.

  Kyle frowned. Sera’s mother had been strong enough to shade both her and Sera. Was Dev Sanrak too? The thought crippled him. He’d never be able to compete with that. He frowned again. “What are you?”

  “A boy, just like you.”

  “Just like me?”

  Dev’s smile was mocking, perceptive. “Not exactly like you, then.”

  “You don’t know a thing about me,” Kyle snapped. “Or her.”

  “You’re wrong on both counts. I know more about both of you than you yourselves know. And I know that you will put her in more danger than anyone, despite the fact that you claim to love her. I know that she will face death because of you. And I know that she will choose to die to save you.”

  Kyle felt the blood drain from his face at Dev’s softly spoken words. “How could you know all those things? I would never hurt her! Who are you?” he said, his words like bullets.

  “‘The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding,’” Dev quoted. “That’s Albert Camus, a French writer. If you love Sera, you should send her to Illysia as Micah asked you to.”

  “Micah?” Kyle gasped, shaking his head, his mind reeling. “How do you know him? What do you know about Illysia?”

  “I, too, have friends in other places.” Dev glanced out the window at Jude, who sat in the car waiting. “You’d do best to reconsider some of yours, including the Ifrit. They are not to be trusted.”

  “Like I should trust you?” Kyle shot back, reeling from Dev’s words.

  Dev smiled. “If you should so choose. Sera does.”

  “If you hurt her—”

  “Why would I hurt her? She is my heart. As I am hers.”

  Everything Kyle felt toward Sera drummed into view. That single moment when the blood rushed in his ears like a tsunami, his palm curling into a tight fist, and he punched Dev right in his face with all the force he could muster. He’d seen grown men fall over from his blows and not get up.

  Dev’s head jerked violently backward, but other than that, he didn’t move from his seated position. He stared at Kyle, his face expressionless but for a slight furrowing of his brow. A trickle of blood dampened the corner of his lip, and he touched his finger to it, staring at the blood thoughtfully.

  “That really hurt,” he said after a long moment. “I’d forgotten.” He wiped his mouth again and moved his jaw back and forth. “I will forgive you for hitting me, because I know that you think you love her. But so do I. And I won’t give her up again. I cannot.”

  “What do you mean, again?”

  Dev didn’t answer. He rose and stared out the window, studying Jude who was speaking to a pretty girl.

  “There’s a war coming. One she will be in the middle of. Are you prepared to protect her no matter the cost?”

  Kyle thought about everything he’d learned over the last few days and where Sera belonged in it all. What Dev said was true. There was a war coming—one of epic proportions. “Yes. I would give my life for her,” he finally answered.

  “That’s not enough. You have to be willing to take life for her. Are you?”

  “Who are you?” Kyle asked, staring at the strange boy.

  “Who I am is not important. It’s who you are.” He stepped past Kyle. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to put some ice on my face.” He turned back just as he reached the cafeteria door. “You have a good heart and one that will fight for survival against your very nature. Blood is a fickle thing, but so is truth, which can be bent to suit all purposes. I’m telling you this because of her, not for any other reason, because she cares for you. You will face a choice, Kalias. One that seems to go against everything you believe. See past it even if it feels like you will be losing it all. You can’t change who you are, but what you think, you become.” A pause. “That one was Buddha, but it applies to you more than to anyone.”

  “What did you just call me?” Kyle said, taken aback.

  “Kalias. Your name.”

  “No one knows that name,” Kyle whispered, his heart jumping into his throat. “I don’t get it. Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because I like you. And because you love her. But you will lose nonetheless. Sita is bound to me as I am to her.”

  “Sita? Don’t you mean Sera?” Kyle blurted out.

  “Yes.”

  With that, Dev left, leaving Kyle in a state of complete confusion. The bell rang and he stared at the students rushing past him into the cafeteria with unseeing eyes. He couldn’t even begin to process all of the information swirling through his brain.

  Why would Dev call Sera Sita? And why would she be bound to Dev? Who was he? And how did Dev know his real name? Kyle had never told that to anyone, not even Sera. Kalias had died when his “mother” had.

  Kyle made his way dazedly out of the building. Jude’s car was gone. Kyle sighed. It was a ten-mile walk to Sera’s house, and two miles to the school, but by the time he got back there, she’d likely be gone. Still, he decided to head to school first to pick up his car and then drive over to Sera’s.

  About a mile down the street, Jude’s car slowed beside him. Kyle hesitated but got in.

  “Sorry, got distracted,” Jude said with a leer and licked his lips.
“I love youth. It’s why I choose this form.”

  Kyle blanched. “You didn’t do anything stu—”

  Jude turned icy black eyes in his direction, and the black dragon wings along his arms flexed. “Don’t presume to lecture me, half-breed. You and I are not equals. Don’t forget that.”

  “I wasn’t. I’m just saying be careful, that’s all. ” Kyle shrugged, faking nonchalance. “Look, can you drop me back at school? I need to get my car.”

  Jude shot him another nasty, knowing smile. “Why don’t you just take Sera? It’s the way of the Ifrit, and you are one of our brothers now. Take what belongs to you, just as we do. As I did with that girl just now.”

  Kyle kept his face composed despite his immediate disgust. He needed to respond in a way that Jude would understand. “Because I want her for more than one time,” Kyle said. He couldn’t help adding, “And I don’t want her to hate me.”

  “Let me guess. You want her to love you,” Jude scoffed. “Fear is much better, for then they know their place. These kinds of weak human emotions don’t belong in Lord Azrath’s world. You understand that, don’t you?”

  Kyle nodded his head, mute. His hands shook against the side of the seat and he dug his nails into the leather.

  “So, did you find her boyfriend?” Jude asked slyly.

  “Yeah. I punched him in the face.”

  Jude threw a congratulatory thump onto his shoulder, making the car swerve dangerously into the next lane. “That’s my boy. So, did he get up?”

  “It’ll take him a while,” Kyle lied. “Next time he tries anything like that, he won’t be getting up.” He turned to Jude just as they was pulling up in front of the school. “You notice anything strange about him when you saw him the other day?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like whether he’s something else, something like us, or maybe Daeva?”

  Jude’s face twisted into its earlier scowl, brow furrowed and eyes slits. “That’s your job, isn’t it?” he growled. “What did you sense?”

  Kyle hesitated, walking through it once more in his head for validation. “That’s just it, it’s weird. I got nothing from him.”

  “What do you mean, nothing?” Jude snapped. “Everyone has something.”

  Kyle paused, trying to recall what he’d felt and whether he’d tried hard enough to get past whatever shade Dev had up. But he’d had none.

  “No, nothing at all.” He paused, searching for the right words. “It was almost like an invisible person wearing a mask, if that makes any sense.”

  Kyle was unprepared for the swift violence of Jude’s reaction as the car screeched to a halt in front of the school. “Get out!”

  “What?”

  “I said, get out!” Jude snarled.

  Kyle stepped hastily out of the car, and Jude sped off before he’d even closed the passenger door, leaving the acrid smell of burnt tires in the air. Something must have come up with Azrath for him to leave that quickly, something big. Kyle shook his head and walked over to where Sera was waiting with the Ne’Feri janitor, Uri, on the front steps.

  “Who was that?” Uri said, his eyes suddenly suspicious. He stepped closer to Sera, his body poised and tense, a sharp knife materializing like magic in his hand.

  “It’s not what you think, Uri,” he said slowly, noting Sera’s sour face, no doubt because she’d seen Jude. “I’m glad you waited,” he said to her.

  “I didn’t know if you wanted me to go home, so Uri thought we’d just stick around for a few minutes,” Sera said. “So, what did Jude want?”

  Her voice was calm. Too calm. She was studying her fingernails as if she didn’t care about his response, but Kyle knew that she cared a lot.

  “Nothing. He wanted to talk about Damien.” Sera’s eyes snapped to his and he saw a strange look flit across her face before it disappeared.

  “Did you tell him?”

  Kyle’s face twisted into a grimace. “No! Of course not.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “We just took a ride.” He saw her expression and rushed to continue. “Look, I didn’t want to involve you. He would have waited until after school, and I didn’t want him anywhere near you or here. OK?”

  He could see that she didn’t believe him, and Sera wasn’t the type to let things go easily. “So, where’d you go?” she repeated.

  Kyle thought about lying, but he didn’t know what Dev might tell her. They were friends, or more than friends if he believed anything that Dev said. He kept his jealousy in check even as it surged violently into his throat at the thought of them together.

  “We went to Knightsbrook.”

  “Knightsbrook?” Sera said. “What for? Is Dev OK? What did Jude—”

  Kyle could see the wheels turning in her head, her natural fear for Dev, and his stomach clenched into a solid knot. He’d thought he could handle it, but nothing had prepared him to see her feelings for Dev so clearly written on her face.

  “Jude didn’t do anything,” Kyle said coldly. “I did.”

  “Kyle, what did you do?” Sera stood to face him, her expression anxious. He clenched his teeth.

  “I want him to stay away from you.” His voice was little more than a growl. “We can’t trust anyone right now, Sera, and I don’t like that he’s always hanging around you. And I can’t tell what he is.”

  She didn’t miss a beat. “What do you mean, you can’t tell what he is?”

  Without thinking, Kyle blurted out what he’d told Jude about Dev’s energy or lack of it, and he watched both Sera and Uri's expressions go from confusion to disbelief. Sera looked like she was trying to work something out in her head.

  “So, how come you can’t sense him?” she asked.

  “If I knew, don’t you think I’d tell you?” Kyle snapped back.

  “Dev isn’t a threat,” Sera said after a while. “And don’t be a jerk.”

  Kyle didn’t bother to hide his immediate fury. “How would you know? He could be a demon! He could be Ra’al for all you know!”

  Sera’s face blanched, but she just shook her head. “I just know.” Then her face softened as if she’d realized the source of his anger, and she stepped toward him, putting her hands on either side of his face. He shrugged away from her touch, still angry. “Kyle, please trust me.”

  “Don’t be stupid—” Sera’s eyes narrowed at his tone, but Kyle was beyond caring. His jealousy was suffocating him. He grabbed her wrist so hard that she winced. Uri stepped forward, but froze at Kyle’s glare. “I don’t trust him,” Kyle seethed.

  “But I do,” Sera said. “You’re hurting me, Kyle. Let go.”

  But the monster inside him was already provoked beyond submission. Kyle could barely control it—it wanted him to squeeze harder and inflict pain, to punish her for lying to him, for even considering being with someone else. His fingers pressed down and he watched her eyes dilate in pain. Something like fear flashed across her face. It fueled the beast pacing beneath his skin. He dragged her back against his chest so that her arm was twisted up between their bodies.

  “Kyle, let go. I don’t want to hurt you.” Sera’s voice was strangled. Her eyes darted to all the other kids in front of the school, and he knew she was considering her options. He laughed, the sound empty.

  “You already have.” His words were as dead as his laugh. Kyle didn’t even feel like himself. He felt free of emotion. All he wanted to do was to give in to the ferocity inside of him … . to the lush sense of power fueling him.

  Sera was his. Why shouldn’t he have her? She’d kissed him, hadn’t she? He could feel her body trembling against his and something inside him shuddered with the gratification of it.

  “Kyle, stop this,” Sera said.

  He ignored her, but the cold feel of steel against his neck and Uri’s sharp voice in his ear brought him swiftly back to reality. “Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt you, but I will. Back off.”

  As if in a trance, Kyle released Sera and stepped back, w
atching as Uri spun her away into his car. He made no move to follow them, impaled as he was by the look of betrayal on Sera’s face. He had no words to explain how close he’d come to hurting her.

  But he’d wanted to.

  A part of him still did.

  BACK TO BEFORE

  Sera wandered along the beach again, the sand rough and warm against her toes. She let the sunlight soak into her body until its warmth chased every fear, every ache, every sadness away. She squinted, peering against the glare. She knew what she was looking for—him. He wasn’t where she’d met him the last time, so she kept walking until the sand shifted into dark rich earth and then into thick grass like a soft carpet beneath her feet.

  She didn’t know why she’d pressed the sigils together the minute she’d gotten home. Her parents hadn’t yet returned, but all she’d wanted was to go somewhere quiet and peaceful—a place where she didn’t have to be herself for one second or to dwell on Kyle’s hideous behavior. She’d been scared and shocked at the change in him—she’d hardly recognized him or the words coming out of his mouth. If it hadn’t been for Uri, who knew what would have happened?

  Laying on her bed, she remembered that Dev told her this world was hers, that she’d created it. It was the only encouragement she’d needed.

  She walked until trees hung in a dense canopy around her. The air smelled of fresh rain. Flowers bloomed between the leaves in all possible colors—violets and yellows and blues. Lotus flowers blossomed, their fragrance enveloping her. This was her a garden of paradise. Sera smiled, and then froze as a long black snake glided across her path. She shivered and sped past the spot where it had disappeared into the brush. What was a snake doing in her paradise?

  She heard the sound of water and followed it to a small brook that quickly grew into a white rushing river. Sera kept walking along its bank, twice more seeing creatures that made her shudder until the foliage cleared and she emerged from the trees. The sound of the water grew thunderous, and she realized that she stood at the edge of a waterfall. She climbed onto a rock and leaned over, watching the water cascade into a wide lagoon the same color as the sky above.