Secrets Past (Mists of the Fae Book 2)

by Jaime Marks

  She nodded. “I just need time, Marcus. I’ll be alright but it’s...it’s all kind of jumbled inside of me right now. I never expected this either. When I left with him I thought I could withstand the odd pull I felt, but I had expected to be tortured, raped. I didn’t expect….”

  She trailed off and he allowed it. She would need to talk eventually, but for now there had been enough and he needed to deal with his own emotions before he could even attempt to help her through her own.

  Chapter 18

  Star sat in her room staring at the wall. She was finally alone. Laying back on the bed she let the walls she had held so firmly in place all day slide away. It was exhausting, trying to pretend she was something that she wasn’t. She couldn’t let them sense her and staying focused and holding up her barriers was the only way to prevent it.

  Dad had been coming to her on and off the last couple days, checking on her. He’d stopped trying to convince her that she needed to come to him. Now he claimed he only wanted her to understand what and who she was so she could protect herself. Every time she rested he seemed to come and see how she was, that she was safe. He’d taught her some things, shown her what she didn’t want to hear, but needed to know. He’d shown her how to sense the differences between the Shade and the Fae and to recognize the differences within herself. She wasn’t Fae.

  She had no idea how Marcus or her uncle would handle that. She had a feeling that her Mom would understand and never see her differently, but she was her daughter. Marcus may claim that he cared for her like a Father but really, he wasn’t. Uncle Mythos’ feeling towards the Darkness, his uneasiness with Byryn and even the other Gray was pretty easy to see. What would happen to her if they knew? What would they think of her?

  This world was crazy and different and she had no idea how to make her way through it. She knew her Mom would help her, but what if she never woke up. This place already felt like something right out of some bad sleeping beauty remake. No one seemed to know why she was sleeping this long, or how to wake her…at least not that they were sharing with her.

  What worried her more was that she could feel Cymeryn. He permeated through her Mom. It wasn’t as strong as it had been with her Dad, but there was definitely some connection between them now and she had no idea what to make of it. Would she wake up Shade? What would that mean?

  She turned as the door creaked open and watched Byryn slip inside locking the door behind him. He walked over and locked the door that opened into the suite’s large living room, sitting room, whatever they called it, and came over and sat beside her on the bed as she watched him. He reached down and brushed a curl from her face.

  “Sorry it took so long. When I was done visiting Trycen I noticed the Guardians were having some issues with the unawakened.” He shrugged. He was acting casual but she could feel him sensing her thoroughly.

  She looked up at him and studied his face. Could he handle it if she were Shade? He was trying desperately to get away from that life. He’d been trying to protect her from it. He’d said he wanted her to help out with the unawakened Shade, but, what would it mean between them if he knew? She was too tired to put her walls back in place and she didn’t want to hide from him. “I can feel you sensing me Byryn and I’m too tired to block you so why don’t you just ask?”

  He gave her an apologetic smile. “I could feel you blocking since we got back. I didn’t mean to intrude but I can tell something’s bothering you, Brightness.”

  She nodded and went to sit up but he laid down and pulled her over to him. His lips brushed hers softly at first and then pressed into hers as his tongue sought entry with a need that coursed through her. Her hands ran over his body as their essence merged and she opened letting him feel what she had hidden. Well, part of it anyway. She had promised her Father that she would keep the fact that he came to her a secret. She knew Byryn wouldn’t want her remaining in such close contact with him, but he wasn’t trying to hurt her. He was just showing her how to control her essence and protect herself.

  When he pulled back from her he shook his head and pulled one of her curls. “How could you think I would think any differently of you, Staryana? Because you were born Shade? I was born Shade and I knew what you were the day I met you, you silly girl.”

  “But you’re trying to get away from the Shade, Byryn and I represent everything you’re trying to be free from.” She looked away from him, unable to face him.

  “You really can’t see it, can you?” He hooked her chin and gently pulled her back to him. “I was never trying to get away from the Shade, Staryana. I never even considered it a possibility long enough to want it and I’ve never run from anything in my life.” He kissed her softly. “I’m not trying to get out of my life, Brightness. I’m trying to make a life with you. Wherever that leads me, whatever it means, I only want it if it’s with you.”

  “Why?” She whispered tears brimming in her eyes. “I need to know why, Byryn. I need to hear it.”

  “Because for me, Staryana, from the day I met you, I have wanted nothing but you.” He kissed her deeply, passionately. “I love you, Staryana.”

  She looked into his eyes letting her essence flow into him, sensing the truth in him. He knew who she was, and he loved her anyway. His essence wrapped strongly around her and she couldn’t deny what she felt for him. She’d been fighting it for too long. Since the first day she’d met him she’d wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, but she felt like he’d rejected her. She couldn’t understand how he could shut her out like that. It had cut her deeply and confused the hell out of her when he sat there watching her day after day. She didn’t think she could go through that with him again.

  His essence flowed through her, sensing her thoughts as he brushed the hair from her face. “You won’t ever have to, Staryana. I’m sorry I pushed you away but I didn’t really want you to have to endure the life of the Shade. I knew when you got closer to your awakening it would be unavoidable, but I wanted to protect you from it as long as I could. Once I felt the essence surge in you.” He shook his head, his short black hair slipping into his face as he smiled at her with that devilish grin of his. “Trust me, Brightness. Nothing was going to keep me from you.”

  “Oh yeah?” She smirked. “Steph seemed pretty determined.”

  He chuckled teasingly. “I can handle Steph. Besides, she was useful for keeping everyone else away.” She shoved him playfully as he laughed.

  “What were you doing in the parking lot when Cymeryn and my Dad came for me, Byryn?”

  “Honestly? You might not like it…” He studied her, but then shrugged in resignation when he realized she wouldn’t let it go. “I heard your name over the loudspeaker and assumed that your sire had felt the surge in your essence. That he came to get you so they could explain what was happening to you. I intended to claim you before any other had the chance or they moved you to one of the group homes. Cymeryn’s my Grandsire and my Father was his second. There weren’t many who would have denied my request.”

  She gaped at him. “So you were going to do what exactly? Buy me or something?”

  He offered her an apologetic smile. “Pretty much. I told you Brightness, I already knew you were mine when John cornered you. I knew the day we first met for that matter. I wasn’t about to let anyone else have the opportunity to claim you and believe me, if not for me there would have been a couple who would have tried.”

  “And what exactly were you going to do with me, Byryn?” She scoffed.

  He chuckled pulling her tightly against him. She could feel his sex throb through their clothes and she gasped as he rolled her under him, kissing her deeply. His voice came out in a seductive growl. “Exactly what I said I was going to do in the hall. Take you somewhere and show you exactly who you are. I fully intended on showing you the pleasures of your flesh and that you are definitely mine.”

  “I thought you didn’t want your world for me.” Her voice was almost a plaintive moan despite her best efforts
to keep her composure and he smirked at her knowingly. She wanted to feel him so badly but she needed to hear this.

  “I didn’t, but if you had been simply unawakened Shade there wouldn’t have been another option. I was going to take you and protect you from it.” He stared down at her running his hand through her hair. “I wanted to make you mine and make you strong enough that no one else would have ever been able to hurt you. With your spirit and strength, you would have been an impressive Shade. Once I took full control of the Brood and you were ready I would have had you by my side, always.”

  She studied him in curiosity. “And now?”

  “Now, Brightness? Now I plan on spending every day until your awakening convincing you that you are and always have been mine.” He kissed and nipped at her neck. “And when you awaken? I’m going to take you as my mate.”

  He pulled back and she stared up into his now gray eyes. He had almost died to protect her from his Father and Cymeryn and it had nearly broken her. This was the first time they had really been alone since he awakened. She tried to imagine never seeing him again, never feeling his touch. “Byryn, during your awakening, when I thought you were dying…” Her voice cracked and she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

  He reached down wiping it away. “Shh, Brightness. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Good, because I don’t ever want to be without you. I love you, Byryn.” Her voice shook as she whispered.

  A smile spread across his lips as he beamed down at her. “Yeah Brightness?”

  “Yeah.” She smiled shyly up at him.

  He leaned down kissing her deeply and she lost herself to him. Nothing had ever felt as good as she felt in his arms. Nothing made her feel as safe, as protected as his touch. She wanted this, to be his always, to feel him like this. There was a Darkness within her that made her feel dirty and disgusting, but in his arms she felt beautiful, pure. Her desire surged forth and she pulled his shirt from his pants and slid her hands under it relishing in the feel of his tight muscles. She felt him groan against her mouth and he slowly pulled back from her.

  “There is nothing I want Brightness, more than to take you right now, but I won’t take advantage of you.” He kissed her softly. “I’m yours baby, never doubt that, but we’re going to do this right between us.” He rolled onto his side pulling her with him so he could wrap his arms around her.

  She let her arm slide around him and tried to regain some composure. “Why is that so important to you, Byryn? You said the same thing in the woods. I want to be with you. I love you. You aren’t taking advantage of me.”

  He kissed her head. “Because Staryana, I want things with you to be different. You’ve seen my mind. You know some of the things I’ve done. I’ve always taken what I wanted and it would be so easy to seduce you, baby. I know what you want. I knew before I ever touched you. I could feel your desire stir even when you were trying so hard to tell yourself it wasn’t.” He chuckled running his hand through her hair as she blushed. “The rules here are different and yeah, neither of us were born Fae. We could just say to hell with it and give into to this desire between us, but I get the reason for waiting. Waiting makes it something special, almost sacred that we share. Sex between the Fae creates an incredible bond and I know we already have this connection between us Staryana, but I want to have that sacred moment with you. I want to give that to you. I want you to always know that regardless of where this life takes us that you were important enough for me to restrain myself and respect you. It’s your first time Staryana, and I want it to actually mean something. I hope that’s alright baby, because that’s how I feel and I’m not changing my mind.”

  She leaned over and kissed him softly. “I love you. How could you think you wanting to love me in such a way wouldn’t be alright? You make me feel like I’m the most precious thing in your world, Byryn.”

  “You are.” He returned her kiss.

  The door knob suddenly turned back and forth and then a soft knock sounded. He chuckled as he pulled away moving silently to the door. A mischievous smile played at his lips as he reached for the knob and winked at her. Throwing the door open he lunged forward and grabbed Kylion who erupted into giggles. He carried him over and they collapsed in a tickle battle on the bed beside her. She watched them together. The tenderness he showed this kid only made her love him even more. He looked up at her, his eyes shining brightly at her. It warmed the chill she felt growing within her. She didn’t know what the future held for any of them but as long as he was by her side, she felt like everything would work out.

  Cymeryn came to on her couch, in the home that was hers only three, perhaps four days ago. He ignored the ache in his chest for her. He had lived with it long enough to know how to allow it to fade into the background.

  “Syneous?”

  “Yes sire?” Syneous formed in front of him.

  “When you spoke of Byryn and Staryana’s connection. You mentioned Gray essence and seemed to know a decent amount about the potentialities of it. I am quite interested where you deigned that information from.”

  A familiar Darkness surged around them choking the air from the house and Cymeryn cringed.

  “I taught him, Cymeryn. I have been grooming this one for quite some time to use to gain possession of the Prophesized Reborn. I had little faith you would succeed.”

  He ignored the comment hiding his rage and suspicions. “Alayne, to what do I owe the pleasure of your ever unseen presence. You have always been content with the subtleties of our existence.” Cymeryn watched the Shade carefully. They were rivals by the mere existence of each other. Both powerful and highly gifted by the Dark Lord, though in different manners.

  “You have failed. Lord Lazurys wishes to see you but I can sense why you are unable to make the trip. I merely mean to aid your healing, brother.” Alayne’s smile was as evil as they came as he raised his staff and sent Dark essence flowing through Cymeryn. “Syneous, we will not need use of your daughter for a while yet. Go find something to torture, hmmm? A poor human to feed from perhaps? You have always delighted in such things.”

  “Yes, Priest Alayne.” The Shade misted from the house leaving them alone.

  “I did not feel your presence in him Alayne, you masked yourself well. If I had known I would not have awakened him.”

  Alayne shrugged. “I care not of how he was awakened. He is simply of use.”

  Cymeryn nodded as he felt the Darkness seep in and the Light recede once more, the pain slipping from his ribs. He was sure it was but a temporary reprieve.

  “There, you should be able to mist now. I suggest we hurry along. Lord Lazurys is not one who likes to be kept waiting so long.”

  Cymeryn stood bowing at the waist per custom though he would far more prefer to stake the Shade. He was no fool, if Alayne was here this was going to be excruciating. He would never allow Reyn to fall to this monster. He made even Cymeryn seem like a saint. He had to withstand whatever the Dark Lord put him through and prove his strength and resiliency so he did not fall out of favor with his sire. If Lord Lazurys decided to gift her to Alayne, it would be an atrocity she would likely not survive.

  They misted through the realms and formed in a cavern similar to the one he had met his Lord in before. Both he and Alayne fell to one knee in wait for his arrival but they only had to wait a moment before his essence swirled through the cavern.

  “I thought I made myself clear, Cymeryn. Your obsession with the girl has cost us greatly.” His voice rumbled through the cave shaking the walls.

  “I beg your forgiveness, my lord, I was careless. I lost myself in the pleasure of her pain and flesh as I turned her but I have established a strong connection to her, Lord Lazurys. It is only a matter of time before I possess her again.”

  The Dark Lord formed in swirls of red and black smoke. “That is indeed the only reason I am allowing you to live, Cymeryn. If I did not know how close you came to bringing me both she and your brother we would not be
having this conversation. Your connection to my sister has always uuproved invaluable. It is of course the very reason you were chosen.”

  Puzzle pieces slowly slid into place as he listened to the Lord Lazurys’ words. The Gray essence, the rebirth, her abilities.

  “Ahhh, you did not know you had bedded a goddess, my son? The strength her essence has granted you is likely the only thing that will help you live through this. There is so much you have yet to know, so much I have yet to show you. Never forget that.”

  “I am at your will always, my lord.” He conceded.

  “How true. You are invaluable to me and I have invested a great amount of time into molding you, but your carelessness has cost us, cost me greatly, Cymeryn and for that you will pay.”

  The Dark Lord raised an arm and Cymeryn was thrown hard against the cavern wall, Dark Essence pinning him in place as jagged rock scrapped against his skin.

  “I will submit…to whatever you will, Lord Lazurys.” Cymeryn gritted as pain lashed over his skin.

  “Indeed you shall, my son. Let us see if you are worthy of my essence that flows through your veins.”

  Lazurys spread his hand and gashes tore open in Cymeryn’s flesh as his blood spilled to the cavern floor in loud splashes. Breathing through the sensations he absorbed them, embracing them. He would not scream. He was as adept at using pain as he was at giving it.

  He looked to the Lord with Alayne smiling smugly by his side. He knew why he was there. If he showed any sign of weakness Lord Lazurys would grant him domain over Cymeryn, over Reyn. He would place full control of the task into Alayne’s hands. Even if he succeeded it might still occur but so long as he had breath in his lungs, he would fight this. He would not lose her again.

  He felt his bones slowly breaking and he reveled in it. The pain, the sensations only served to strengthen his will to fight. He fought for her. He could feel her but he did not want her to feel this. He struggled to pull in the pain, to keep it from her. This would be a long drawn out session. The less he allowed her to sense of his torture, the better it would be for them both. He drew within himself and rode out the waves of pain as they rolled through him. He pulled forth a single vision in his mind and held it.