Secrets Past (Mists of the Fae Book 2)

by Jaime Marks

  It would fall to Byryn to figure out how best to sort them and guide them until they could settle. At first it had been just the Shade but really it made sense for him to manage all of them. The others were so busy setting everything else in place and really he needed something like this. Staryana helped when she could but generally she focused on trying to spend time with her Mom or taking care of Kylion.

  He smiled when he thought of it. She was so good with the kid it amazed him. Kylion had never listened to anyone aside from him, Trycen and his brother Revyn on occasion, maybe Wycelion, but that was about it. The rest of his brothers generally found him exasperating. With Staryana he was a perfect angel though. It was amusing and only made the choices he needed to make for the boy easier.

  Chapter 20

  Reyana stood in her bedchamber starring at the clothing that had been brought over from her old home. The rows of red and gold hues looked lavish and regal hanging on their hooks and completely not like anything she wanted to where. She thought about the black gown that lay in a heap on the floor back in that room. The one that she had worn for Cymeryn. That really wasn’t her style either. She felt like everyone wanted to dress her up as some model of what they thought or expected her to be.

  She shut the closet door in disgust. Did she even know who she was now? The Fae called her the Princess Reyana. The Shade called her the Lady Reyn. Were either of those who she was now? Cymeryn was right that her name in this life was Reyn and it fit more to her right now than Reyana but the Fae would never accept the moniker. Marcus would never accept it.

  Her head churned with images she both held to and wanted to be rid of all at the same time. She took a deep breath and pulled back from it. Cymeryn had warned her about letting herself become too torn, that she could end up lost within herself again. She needed distance and space. She groaned in exasperation. She couldn’t even get dressed on her own without driving herself crazy and she was supposed to pull it together enough to be able to redeem the Tainted and the Shade?

  She felt an odd, yet familiar presence but looked around finding nothing. No one was there. She sighed. Great, now she really was losing her mind. Getting up, she went back to the closet. At this point it didn’t matter what she wore, she needed to get dressed. Sitting here in a towel, fresh from the shower would only serve to embarrass her or put her in a position she wasn’t sure how to handle at the moment.

  She pulled back the door and gasped. Hanging in the center of the walk-in closet as if it had been chosen for her, was a long grey and silver shimmering gown. It was beautiful. She took it down and looked it over.

  “Where in the world did you come from?” She mused as she looked around the rest of the closet. There didn’t appear to be another way in. She knew it wasn’t something she would have missed in her first walk through. It was exactly what she was thinking she wished she had.

  She let the towel slip to the floor and slid herself into its sheath. The sheath was a sheer, silver grey. It was snug and form fitting covering only her most modest regions. It reminded her of the gown Cymeryn had fashioned for her. She wrapped the gown itself around her tying it at her side. The silver translucence of it provided seductive but appropriate attire. It flowed over her breasts dipping in a low v, but it didn’t give anything away. You could see her skin revealed through the sheath underneath but it wasn’t trashy.

  “You look…amazing.” Marcus whispered from the dressing room door. “Wherever did you get that?”

  She turned to him blushing slightly. “It was in the closet. I don’t know where it came from, but I like it.”

  “As do I.” He smiled seductively as he looked over her body on his way to the closet where he disappeared. When he emerged he looked puzzled but not overly concerned. “I don’t believe that gown was in their when I brought up your clothes and I know it’s not something you owned before. It does suit you though.”

  She nodded. “I felt something…familiar.” She shrugged. “I don’t know what it was but the gown was hanging in the middle of the closet when I looked again.”

  He looked at her with concern. “Just be careful, Reyana. Most gifts come with price tags attached, even if they are hidden at first. I’m not happy that we don’t know the origins of that dress.”

  She shrugged. “Well I like it and it’s what I’m wearing.” She stated firmly as she worked a brush through her hair in the mirror.

  Strong arms wrapped around her waist and she felt his breath on her skin. “I didn’t say not to wear it, my love. I only meant that we should be cautious until we learn where it came from and why. I don’t like the idea of anyone having access to you in our bedchambers but me.”

  She nodded trying not to melt into his embrace. Her mind so desperately needed space, distance from them both, but as he kissed her neck she leaned against him. She needed his strength, his faith in her. His love for her was a beacon of reassurance in the confusion that clouded her mind.

  A knock sounded and he sighed. “The outside world calls my love, though I think that is likely just Star, and perhaps Byryn.”

  He pulled back from her reluctantly and she felt the loss of him as he left to check the door. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to him in the slightest. She felt the loss of them both so acutely when they weren’t there. When he held her now his body was so similar to Cymeryn’s that she couldn’t help but feel like she was being held by them both.

  This was a curse. Some evil she had brought on herself through some sinful act she couldn’t yet recall. She couldn’t reconcile all of this. The first instinct that hit her nearly made her cry. Her first thought was to run and hide at the lake. The lake wasn’t here though, and neither was he.

  He wasn’t even the boy he had been then. Now he was a ruthless Shade who was willing to slit the throats of hundreds of unawakened Fae if it meant getting what he wanted. How could she love him? How could she love any being who would even think of doing such a thing?

  Star came into the dressing room and wrapped her arms around her. “I’m glad to see you’re doing so much better, Mom. I’m really, really sorry I said those things to you before.” She had yet to stop apologizing for their argument.

  “It’s alright Starshine, you had every right to be upset with me. I haven’t exactly been the best Mom lately.”

  “That’s not your fault. This entire world is crazy. You were just holding tight to the one thing that made it normal for you.”

  “Hmmm, sounds like you might know a thing or two about that.” Reyana smiled studying her daughter.

  “Maybe,” She blushed a little. “I know it’s way too fast, but I love him, Mom.”

  “I know Starshine. I see the way you look at each other. Sometimes things happen that fast. Just, take your time and enjoy it. Don’t rush into anything until you’re sure.”

  Star pulled back and gave her Mother a shrewd look. “Are you having second thoughts? About Marcus?”

  “No. No I love Marcus.” Reyana sighed. Was she? Was she second guessing completing their bond? God she really was a horrible person wasn’t she?

  “Look Mom, it’s none of my business, and I have no idea what you went through or what Cymeryn did to you.” Star sighed as Reyana pulled away from her. “But Marcus, if it makes any difference, I guess he’s not such a jerk. He was there for me when you were taken. He really loves you. I know you’re confused about a lot of things, hell I’m confused about a lot of things, but you always taught me to follow your heart.”

  Yeah, well what happened when you couldn’t even trust your heart, she thought. “I know Starshine. Marcus is wonderful and I know he loves me. I think I just need some time to get my head on straight again. I’m really glad that he was there for you.”

  “Come on Mom, we better hurry or I’m going to make Byryn late for his Claiming.”

  They headed out into the sitting room of the suite and Star went to Byryn’s side. He stood in the white silk robing that was the tradition of the Claiming. His eyes no long
er the brown almost black they had once been but a steal grey that was actually quite similar to how her own appeared at the moment. She watched as he looked at Star with love and adoration on his face.

  It was a good match. They both had their internal struggles and would never judge each other because of it. She had felt Star. She didn’t know if she had dreamt what Cymeryn told her or not but Star was definitely unawakened Shade. She suspected Byryn knew and he would never so much as bat an eye at it. He would simply help guide her through and help keep her from getting lost to it. She didn’t know that anyone else would understand the shifts in her that she had to fight.

  He turned to her and bowed, “It’s good to see you again Lady Reyana.”

  She raised a brow at the mixed designation but Marcus didn’t seem bothered by it. “It’s good to see you as well. And who is this little guy?”

  He nudged the child forward. “This is my little brother, Kylion. We would have brought him by for a visit earlier in the week but we thought you could use your rest. Kylion pay the Princess your respect, little one.”

  He glanced nervously at Byryn before moving forward and bowing.

  Reyana smiled. “Thank you, Kylion.” she lowered her voice to a whisper. “Between you and me, I think bowing is silly so unless the King is around or we’re in public, you really don’t have to.”

  “See Byryn!” The boy rose crossing his arms. “It is silly.”

  She had to laugh at Byryn’s exasperation. “I know Kylion, but it’s respectful here.”

  She chuckled. “Sorry Byryn.”

  He smiled back. “It’s fine, Princess. He’s just been…difficult about it. He always has been.”

  “Well I don’t have to bow to Starry either.” He pouted.

  “No but you will bow to the King, Kylion. It’s important, please.”

  Kylion sighed still pouting. “Fine. But you promised ice cream after.”

  Marcus chuckled from the door. “I’ll look after him, Byryn.”

  Byryn nodded sighing with relief. “Thanks Marcus. He is being…stubborn today.”

  He stomped a foot. “I thought I was going to stand with Starry.”

  “You will Kylion, because I’ll be standing with Marcus and my Mom.” She reached down and tussled his hair and he seemed to relax.

  Marcus came over and took Reyana by the arm. “Are you ready, Byryn? We really should go. There are several rituals that Mythos is attending to today and he wants to get started.”

  Reyana froze. “I wasn’t aware that we were preforming other rituals.” Her heart had all but stopped in her chest. She wasn’t sure what she would do if he was expecting them to be bonded today. She loved him, but she had betrayed him and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to give herself to him freely. Worse, she was afraid she couldn’t promise him that it wouldn’t happen again.

  “Will you wait in the hall? I need a moment alone with Princess Reyana.” Marcus asked quietly and Byryn and Star took Kylion out of the room.

  He pulled her into his arms, brushing the hair out of her face as he ran his hand lightly down her cheek. “Reyana, do you really think I would rush you into a Bonding? I would love nothing more than to take you as my own but I understand the confusion in you. It’s as much my fault as it is his after what we did.” He kissed her tenderly. “When you are ready my love, I will still be here. I will always be here for you.”

  “Mythos will want us to perform the Bonding immediately, though. He knows that we have already mated.”

  “No, he doesn’t.” He smirked. “He knows it appeared that we were going to.”

  “But you presented me as your mate, Marcus. We wore our bonded robes. None of them are going to believe that. Mythos even asked you specifically if you were my bonded mate when he appointed you Praetor.”

  Marcus smiled coyly. “I presented you, my love, only as the Princess Reyana a Mythion, and you have been my bonded mate for nearly one hundred and three years. The rest can be simply enough explained and keep your honor intact. You accepted my proposal and so as not to rush you or to allow you to choose rashly, I decided not to claim your body until the eve of our Bonding Ritual. No one else was in that room. There is no one save Cymeryn that can attest to whether we have or haven’t mated and something tells me he would not be in a rush to dole out information that would lead to our Bonding were he here.”

  “Marcus,” She studied him cautiously, “Fae don’t lie.”

  He pulled her to him as he walked against her guiding her to the wall. He pushed his body into her and kissed her deeply, gently. “We are Gray, my love. There is Darkness in me as there is in you. It is not wrong Reyana, for me to protect my mate in any way I deem necessary. If that means employing my Darker side to do so, so be it.”

  He kissed her softly and she could feel the restraint he was employing. “Now, I suggest we go before I give into my baser desires and tear that lovely gown in my haste to remind you just how very much you are my mate.” She gasped as she felt him grind against her. “It has been five days since I have had you back, five days that you have avoided my touch. I understand your confusion, your hesitation, my love, but I am done waiting. Tonight I am going to reclaim you and remind you exactly who I am.” He kissed her more roughly but drew back slightly from her. “But not until after your coronation.”

  He smiled devilishly as he steadied her and smoothed the folds of her gown. He could feel the desire he had stirred in her and that was the point wasn’t it. She had been denying him even her emotions. He had pushed her limits for the point of just getting a reaction out of her.

  “Coronation?” She breathed out as she struggled to regain her composure, not missing the pleased smile on his face.

  “Yes, my love, Mythos means to have a coronation to instill you as rightful ruler of this realm, as we all know you are. Oddly, he stumbled upon a crown that would suit you perfectly, especially in this gown. He is also preforming Grifyn and Trina’s Bonding Ritual, so we should make haste.”

  “That’s quite a long night.” She smiled.

  He leaned down to her ear. “And I shall be sure it is far longer than you suspect.” He held her, caressing her softly, “Please love, you do not need to answer me now but don’t deny me. We need this Reyana, both of us.”

  She nodded. “I love you, Marcus. Please don’t doubt that, despite…well everything.”

  “I don’t, but I need you to stop doubting whether you have the right to do so. I can read you Reya, better than you think.”

  “Reya? You haven’t called me that in years.” She almost had to laugh.

  “I know, but if it bothers you right now to hear either of your given names and you are not prepared to embrace the name Lunya, I must call you something.” He smiled.

  “You really can read me.” She hesitated studying him.

  “Yes, ever since the day the three of us joined, aside from the time you slept I can read your every doubt, desire, and wish. I just don’t always know how to handle them. I’m sorry that we have confused you in this way.”

  “It wasn’t you. I…”

  He placed his finger lightly on her lips. “I played my role those chambers every bit as much as you.” He leaned down to her ear, “And I gave myself over to it, enjoyed it every bit as much as you.”

  A knock sounded at the door and Kylion’s muffled voice rang out. “Grandpa Marcus, are ya almost done in there? We need to go!”

  The chorus of laughter out in the hall told them Star and Byryn were no longer waiting alone.

  Marcus stiffened, bristling slightly. “Come, my love, I must strangle the boy who thinks he will live long enough to mate your daughter.”

  She chuckled as he brushed a stray hair from her face and led her from the room. Kato, Demytria, Grifyn, and Trina stood waiting with Byryn, Star and Kylion with amused smiles on their faces.

  She watched them all together. They were her family, all of them. They had gone to great lengths to ensure she was here to stand beside th
em as their Queen and they would do it again if she asked. What was right here in front of her face, this was right.

  Tears rolled down her cheeks and she brought her hand to her mouth. It had been in front of her the whole time, though she had hidden from it lost in a fantasy of the past that she could never have. They had all been right here, waiting for her to see it.

  The hall hushed and she felt Marcus’ strong embrace wrap around her and she melted into it. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “For what,” he spoke softly, “taking the time you needed to sort through your thoughts? None of us would ever deny you that Reyana, least of all me.” He kissed her head, “But you’re right, love. We have been right here, waiting, and we will continue to do so until you are ready.”

  She kissed him, and pulled away. “I am. No more hiding.” She nodded.

  He wiped away her tears and let her pull away but kept hold of her hand.

  “I owe all of you an apology. I’ve avoided you and my duties. I haven’t allowed any of you to be there for me and I haven’t been there for any of you.”

  “Princess…My Queen,” Kato smiled warmly, “there is no need to apologize. You needed time to process through all that has happened. We all can recognize, if not relate to it.”

  “My lady, you take all the time that you need. You haven’t even been awakened little more than a week and look at all you have set into motion and all you endured.” Grifyn laughed. “You expect too much of yourself, and perhaps we place too many expectations and too much pressure on your shoulders. We’re just glad to have you back with us, Reyana.”

  Demytria look up at her hesitantly and smiled softly, but remained silent. She was still Shade, still every bit as connected to Cymeryn as she was and Reyana could tell she sensed it in her. She understood better than anyone here what she was going through.

  “You’re my friends, my family, and I’ve neglected all of you for far too long.” She looked to Grifyn and Trina and they nodded.