Stories for Amanda

by Amanda Todd Foundation

  I shove my book into my bag and try finding Em in the hall while I make my way to second period. Instead, I see Jenn, so I call out to her. Her friends walk away when I approach.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  She sighs and then says, “Come with me.”

  I follow her as she leads me into the girl’s bathroom. She looks around to make sure we are the only ones in here before saying, “Everyone is talking about you and your sister.”

  “What? Why?” I ask, completely confused.

  “Erin… everyone knows about your brother. It’s all over school that he’s a fag.”

  Emotions flood. A whole multitude of them. Worried. Embarrassed. Defensive. Angry. Sad.

  “Don’t call him that,” I tell her, hating that word.

  “Well, he is, isn’t he?” she whispers, like the words are infectious.

  “No,” I snap. “He’s not a fag, he’s gay.”

  “Don’t get all bitchy with me,” she snaps right back. “I just thought you should know what people are saying.”

  “So they’re calling him a fag?”

  She nods her head, and then adds, “They’re calling you things too.”

  “Are you serious? Like what?” Oh my God. I can’t believe this. Panic shoots through me and I wanna run, but I stay to hear what I’m almost afraid to hear.

  “That you’re a dyke.”

  “What?!” I nearly shriek in disbelief. “Why would they say that?”

  “I don’t know, but they are.”

  “You told them I’m not, right?”

  When her eyes shift down, I see it. Shaking my head at her, I plead, “Please tell me you said something.”

  She doesn’t look at me, and my face heats as the tears begin to stain them. Jenn and I have been friends since elementary school, but I suddenly feel like I don’t even know her. How could she not defend me, but instead betray me?

  “Jenn?”

  She meets my eyes when she looks up, and her words are drenched in annoyance when she defends, “Look, it’s bad enough that they are saying that stuff about you, but I don’t want them to say it about me too.”

  “So you’ll let them make fun of me as long as your name isn’t mentioned? I thought you were my friend.”

  “I am,” she says softly. “But…”

  “But what?”

  She takes a moment before saying, “I don’t wanna be part of the gossip.”

  I hear it. I hear the beating around the bush. I’m not stupid. “No. You would rather be spreading the gossip than be the gossip,” I sneer at her and them storm out the door. Pissed that my friend would be so self-centered, worried about her own reputation, than to stand up for me.

  I rush through the halls, looking for Em, and when I spot her, she’s yelling at Gabe, and I know that she knows what I just found out when I hear her shouting, “What the fuck is your problem? You think you’re so goddamn perfect, huh?”

  “Em!” I holler, trying to get her attention, but she keeps on, not even acknowledging me.

  When I get close enough, I see Gabe laughing at her, and she loses it, fisting her hand and punching him right in the junk.

  “Bitch!” he squeals out and he clutches himself and falls to his knees.

  “Em!” I shout but before she can answer me, the principal is there.

  “Office. Now.”

  ~~~~

  “Please explain to me how you manage to get suspended on the first day of school!”

  “Mom, don’t yell at her,” I say, trying to defend Emily.

  “No, really. Ms. Childers said that you punched a boy in the crotch? I mean… what in God’s name were you thinking?” she questions as I bust out laughing at the image of Emily socking that jerk in the nuts and his beet red face as he fell to the ground.

  “This isn’t funny,” she scolds, and I immediately straighten up.

  “Mom, everyone was calling Mark a faggot,” Emily tells her, and my mom leans back into the chair. Sadness washes over her face.

  Em and I sit together on the couch and watch her trying to hold it together. It takes her a moment when she finally speaks.

  “They’re calling him that?” she questions in disbelief.

  “Yeah, Mom,” Emily says softly, as if her words, if spoken too loudly, could hurt her.

  “Jenn pulled me aside and told me that they are saying I like girls. That I’m a dyke,” I add.

  She sits up, and says, “Well, did you tell the principal that?”

  “Yeah, but she didn’t want to hear it. She was more concerned about the fight,” I explain.

  “Well, I want you to go talk to her tomorrow and tell her what those kids are saying.”

  “I’m staying home.” Emily was the one who got suspended, not me, but I’m not going there without her.

  “You can’t just stay home. You need to go and stand up for yourself. Don’t let them make you feel like you can’t go to school.”

  “Mom, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t understand,” I tell her and then I feel my phone buzz from inside my pocket. I pull it out to see that Mark has finally responded to my text from earlier, but honestly, it’s too late. I don’t even read it when I shove it back into my pocket.

  “Well, I’ll go up there with you.”

  “What? That’s even worse. You can’t come with me to school, Mom.”

  “Just let her stay home tomorrow,” Emily chimes in.

  Not wanting to argue, she surrenders, “Fine. One day. That’s all you get,” before standing up and walking out of the room.

  I turn to look at Emily and say, “Thanks.”

  She gives me a faint smile and says, “Yeah, sure,” in an almost defeated tone and then heads upstairs.

  ~~~~

  When I finally drag myself out of bed, it’s almost noon. No one has bothered me all morning. No one bothered me last night either, not even my dad. I know he has been having a difficult time accepting that Mark is gay. He loves him, there has never been any doubt about that, but he hasn’t been dealing with it well. I’m sure when Mom told him about what happened at school yesterday, he went into shutdown mode. He’s good at that when something is bothering him.

  I go downstairs to grab a soda and when I return to my room I see the screen on my phone is lit up. When I pick it up, I see I have a missed text from Mark.

  Never heard back from you yesterday. How did the rest of your day go?

  Tossing the phone on the bed, I sit down and take a long drink. For the first time, I don’t wanna talk to him. Honestly, I’m mad at him. Mad for creating this storm that’s been slowly brewing. A storm that landed right on top of me. But he’s the lucky one. He had the ability to run away, and the first chance he got, he did. Ran straight to Seattle, leaving Emily and me to deal with the backlash. He’s a coward.

  “Come in,” I say when I hear a knock on my bedroom door.

  Emily opens it slowly, saying, “Hey,” as she walks in. “Mark just texted. Said he hasn’t heard from you in a couple days.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I tell her.

  She cocks her head at me and asks, “What’s going on?”

  “Aren’t you mad?”

  “About yesterday?”

  “About Mark. How he conveniently moved away and left us to deal with this crap,” I say.

  As she takes a seat on my bed next to me, she admits, “In a way… yeah. I feel bad for saying it though.”

  “It’s not fair. He’s off, having fun, while we’re stuck here.” I pause for a moment before adding, “Jenn didn’t even defend me when she heard what people were saying about me.”

  “She’s a twat,” Emily says and I burst out laughing at her choice of words. We take a moment and fill the room with our laughter and for a moment, as brief as it is, I feel the weight being lifted.

  “Yeah, she is,” I agree through my now light chuckles. “But still. How shallow can you be?”

  “She’s pathetic and clearly not worth your time to tal
k to her. Let her be a bitch to someone else.”

  “But she’s being a bitch to me. She was actually pissed at me when I got upset after she told me she didn’t stop them from saying those things,” I say.

  “People are stupid. You know that.”

  “Yeah,” I sigh.

  “Call Mark so he doesn’t worry, okay?” she tells me and I turn to her and nod my head. “I’m gonna go fix some Ramen for lunch. Want any?”

  “Gross. No.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she teasingly mocks. “I forgot how refined your palette is.”

  “Well, it’s better than having it tainted by Gabe’s tongue like yours is,” I shoot back at her.

  “Ugh. Don’t remind me,” she says in disgust as she leaves my room.

  Picking up my phone, I scroll through and bring up Mark’s cell number. I really don’t want to talk to him right now, but I suck it up and call him anyway.

  “Hey,” he says when he answers.

  “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Just got out of class. About to head back to the dorms. What about you? You at school?”

  “No. Home,” I clip out, growing more irritated that he seems so happy.

  “Why are you at home?”

  “Em got suspended.”

  “Wait. What?”

  “Em. Got. Suspended.” I say this slow and condescendingly.

  “Why?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, Mark. Could it be the fact that everyone knows you’re gay and you couldn’t stick around here long enough to take some of the heat that’s now our burden to bear?”

  Silence. He doesn’t respond.

  “Are you gonna say anything?” I push.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry that you ran away?”

  “Erin…”

  “No one will even talk to me, Mark. They’re calling me a dyke. Em wound up getting into a fight and now she’s suspended for the rest of the week.”

  “Who’s saying this?”

  “The whole school.”

  “Tell me what I can do ‘cause I’ll do anything,” he says to me.

  “Nothing. There’s nothing you can do, so just have fun and enjoy your year so at least someone in this family is happy.” I sling my words at him and then hang up.

  My phone immediately starts ringing, and when I see it’s Mark, I decline the call and switch my phone off. I’m so mad at him. I know that what the kids at school are saying isn’t his fault, but I need to blame someone and he’s the obvious choice, so I unload my anger onto him.

  “Erin!” I hear Em shout front downstairs.

  Opening my door I walk and lean over the banister. “What?”

  “Jenn just posted some shit about you on Facebook.”

  I run back to my room and flip open my laptop. Once logged on, I type in Jenn’s name and go straight to read her status update.

  Jennifer Carmichael

  Erin, that nasty lezbo, tried coming on to me in the bathroom yesterday. That family is nothing but disgusting homos.

  “Oh my God,” I whisper. There are eighteen comments and over seventy ‘likes’ and it was only posted ten minutes ago.

  “Have you seen it?” Em asks as she walks into my room.

  My heart is pounding with anxiety and humiliation for something that isn’t even true.

  “What do I do?” I ask as the tears rim my eyes.

  Em sets her bowl down and moves to squeeze in and sit next to me on my desk chair. She wraps her arms around me, and I let the tears fall.

  “Did you read the comments? People actually believe her,” I say.

  “People are stupid.”

  “It doesn’t matter. They still believe her.” I pull back and wipe the tears from my cheeks. “Why are you not more pissed?”

  “I am. Trust me.”

  “So what do I do?” I ask again.

  “Honestly? I wouldn’t do anything. Don’t even feed into it.”

  ~~~~

  I took Emily’s advice, but the kids at school aren’t letting up. I only have a couple of friends that talk to me at this point. I just have to wonder when this will all die down and people will lose interest.

  For the past few weeks, I have been forced to walk these halls that are constantly filled with sneers and whispers. Jenn has completely turned her back on me. Tonight is our school’s first football game. The one thing I refused to do was quit the cheer squad. I’ve been on it since freshman year.

  “Hey, is it all right if I just drop you off tonight?” Em asks as she stands in the doorway to my room.

  Lacing my shoe, I look up and ask, “Why?”

  “‘Cause I don’t wanna sit around with a bunch of people I can’t stand to watch a game I couldn’t care less about.”

  Em is taking a lighter load of the bullying than I am, but I know it affects her all the same. For some reason, I’m the bigger target with people. Probably because I’m quiet where she has a loud bark. She’s more intimidating.

  “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll just text you as soon as the game ends,” I tell her as I tighten my ponytail and grab my cheer bag.

  Dropping me off, I keep my head down as I make my way out to the field. I don’t worry too much about anyone teasing me since the stands are loaded with parents and faculty.

  The game passes slowly, and we are finally nearing the end of the forth quarter. I step out of our cheer line to quickly grab my cell out of my bag to text Emily. When I swipe the screen, I notice a text waiting on me from Mark. I don’t read it. Instead, I shoot out my text to Em and rejoin the girls.

  Once the game is over, I grab all my belongings and head out to the parking lot. I stand and wait on Emily to get here, which is taking her longer than it should. I hear a few kids laughing at me when they pass, and I pull out my phone to distract me. I open up the text from Mark and read it.

  I miss talking to you. I never meant to bail the way I did.

  I’m surprised when I notice Ashton step up next to me. He plays cornerback and we have known each other since he moved here in the middle of our freshman year. He gives me a slight nod of his head, acknowledging me, and I turn my focus back to my brother’s text.

  I haven’t spoken with him since I yelled at him on the phone a few weeks ago after that crappy first day of school. He calls and texts often, but I haven’t ever responded. I miss him, but I’m mad at him too.

  When I lean over to shove the phone back into my bag, a group of girls pass me as I am bent down and purposely bump into me, knocking me off balance. I catch myself with my hand and when I look up, I see Jenn.

  “Hey, freak,” she says and her friends bust out laughing at me.

  “Don’t be a bitch,” I hear Ashton snap at her.

  Standing up, I watch the girls walk away, and I turn to him and say, “Thanks,” in a quiet voice. I wonder why he, let alone anyone, would stick up for the school leper.

  “She’s turned into such a snob this year,” he says, and when I look back at him, I shyly agree.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Em says out the driver’s side window when she pulls up.

  Taking my eyes off of Ashton, I grab my bag and tell her, “It’s okay,” and then slide into the car.

  Before she puts the car in drive, Ashton says, “See you Monday.”

  I don’t say anything, and Emily gives me a knowing look. Turning my attention away from her, I notice he isn’t standing on the sidewalk anymore. I scan and spot him walking to a white jeep with keys in his hand. I allow happiness to creep inside when I realize that he wasn’t waiting for a ride like I was. He has his own car, but he stood with me anyway.

  “So, Ashton, huh?” Emily teases.

  “Just drive,” I tell her and keep quiet as we head home.

  We get home, and I go up to my room to shower and work on some of my homework. When I notice that it’s almost midnight, I close my books and call it a night. Slipping into bed, I shut off the lamp and pull out my phone, to read before I fall asleep. Before open
ing my iBooks app, I open up the text that my brother sent earlier. No matter what, I miss him. As mad as I am about how this year is turning out, I still want him here. I type out my response, my first in weeks.

  I miss you too. Goodnight.

  Clicking out of my texts, I open up Facebook really quick, not really sure why since all it seems to be is another outlet for people to make my life hell. I clear my notifications and notice a Friend Request alert come through. Opening it up, I can’t control the smile that creeps across my face. Maybe this could be one of the few good things this year.

  Here’s to hoping.

  I click Accept, and immediately get a Private Message.

  Ashton Yates

  You’re up late. :-)

  THE END

  About the Author

  E.K. Blair

  USA Today bestselling author and International Amazon bestselling author, E.K. Blair takes her readers on an emotional roller coaster with her FADING series. A former first grade teacher with an imagination that runs wild. Daydreaming and zoning out is how she was often found in high school. Blair tends to drift towards everything dark and moody. Give her a character and she will take pleasure in breaking them down, digging into their core to find what lies underneath.

  Aside from writing, E.K. Blair finds pleasure in music, drinking her Starbucks in peace, and spending time with her friends. She’s a thinker, an artist, a wife, a mom, and everything in between.

  Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/EKBlairAuthor

  Twitter: @EK_Blair_Author

  Unforgettable

  (Deleted Scene from Rotten)

  By

  Author JL Brooks

  © Copyright 2013 JL Brooks,

  All Rights Reserved

  “You like that rough, don’t you? Fucking take it.” My arms were growing weary from being on all fours, rocking back and forth viciously, as sweat beaded on my brow. A deep growl purred from my throat.