by JM Kelley
The drive home is quiet, and the exhaustion on Sarah’s face is unmistakable. “She’s your spitting image. She reminds me of when I first met you," I mutter, placing my hand over hers. She doesn't pull away, but she's tense. “She’s my everything Brad, and I don’t know what to do.” “It’s going to be all right, Sarah," I say sternly. “You keep saying that, but you can’t know.” “I know," I whisper, trying to convince myself just as much as her. We pull up in front of her house, and I turn off the engine. “Do you want me to come in?” I ask, noticing her hand is already on the door handle. “I think you should go, Brad. It’s late, and I need to call Harper to see if she can open up the Bean in the morning. I want to let her know that she should hire those two high school kids that applied for a job last week. Right now, I need to be spending my time at the hospital.” “I understand, I can go there and help out if you need me to?” Sarah chuckles. “Famous heart surgeon moonlights as a barista? I don’t think that's in your repertoire," I smirk at her. “Yeah, maybe that’s not such a good idea, but I would try for you.” She gives me a forced smile. “Goodnight Brad, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” “Okay Sarah, get some sleep, and call me if you need anything.” She escapes from the car without even so much as a second look back. Fleeing my presence as if I’m some kind of leper. But as I watch her go inside, one thing I know for sure, If she thinks I’m going to give up on us this time, she’s dead wrong, because I am never letting her go again.
CHAPTER 8
SARAH
I wake groggy and in a panic. Reaching for my phone I hastily scan to see that the time is only nine, and the tension in my body slowly begins to relax. I want to get to the hospital early today, but I’m in no shape to rush this morning, so I make a quick call to the nurse's station to check on Ashley. After her nurse reassures me that she had a peaceful rest of the night, I feel much better. I text Ashley letting her know I’ll be there soon, and then fall back onto my pillow with a sigh. Thoughts of last night with Brad come rushing back. His sexy, masculine scent is still on my sheets, and his handsome face etched into my mind. The warm kisses, his hot-as-fuck body all over mine and the way he made love to me, engraved into my thoughts. It was only supposed to be one night so why can’t I erase his kiss from my lips, his touch from my body?
I take a much needed, long, hot shower and make my way to the Bean, in need of a shoulder to cry on and the pressing desire for caffeine. When I arrive at the shop, Harper is behind the counter assisting a customer with her usual friendly attitude. I make myself a latte with a double shot of espresso and grab some treats to take up to Ashley. “Hey girl, you hanging in there? You look like shit today.” “Um, thanks.” I deadpan. “I didn’t get much sleep last night, and I couldn’t even muster the strength to put make-up on today.” “Pfft, you don’t need make-up honey. I just meant you look tired. How’s Ashley doing?” “I called this morning, and she’s much better, but I hope they figure something out soon. Thank you for opening the shop, buy the way. I’m sorry to put so much on your plate right now.” “Nonsense, that’s what friends and business partners are for.” A tall, lanky gentleman strolls in for coffee and a bagel, so I give Harper a hand making the coffee and ring him up. “Have a great day,” I tell the man, striving to muster up a smile, but failing miserably. “So did Brad get tested yet?” Harper asks after the customer leaves. “Yes, he was with me last night when the hospital called, and I was in a panic, so he drove me there.” I feel Harper's eyes on me as my cheeks heat. “He was with you last night?” She questions with raised brows. “We had dinner together.” “Aaand?” She sing-songs, waiting for a response with her arms folded. “Sarah Thorensen, you little hussy, you slept with him?" She says, more as a statement than a question, as I nervously bite my cuticles. “Yes, but we didn’t sleep much.” I give her sly smirk. “Okay, I need more info missy.” I grin at her. “I’m not giving you details Harper.” She scowls at me. “My vagina is currently full of cobwebs. Please throw me a bone. The only excitement I have in my life is the twenty minutes at night I get to spend with BOB. Was it good, did he take you to the promise land?” My cheeks grow pink and my mouth slowly curves up into a smile. “Maybe… A few times.” I hold up five fingers. “Or maybe it was six." "Bitch, I hate you. Are you guys like a thing now?” I shake my head vigorously. “No, It was a one-time thing. He’s only here for Ashley, and then he’ll be going back to his fancy doctor life in Los Angeles. I don't need my heart broken again.” “I always thought you guys should have been together, not you and Ben. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you slept with him back in the day.” She tilts her head, eyeballing me as I pull some muffins from the case trying to avoid her inquisition. “I’m sorry Harper, I didn’t tell anyone, I felt too guilty. It was one night. I would say it should have never happened, but then I wouldn't have been blessed with Ashley. It was a mistake, but It was the best mistake I ever made. Did I love him? Maybe, but we're adults now, and we both have our own lives. My only concern right now is getting Ashley well.” She pulls me in for a hug. “I understand, but I get the impression there are some real feelings there. You deserve more in your life.” “Never going to happen.” I shake my head adamantly. “Understood. Now go see that precious girl of yours and give her a big hug from Auntie Harper.” “I’m sorry to put so much on you right now with the shop.” “Nonsense, Emily is coming in to close up later, and I’m going to call those two teenagers and ask if they can start tomorrow, so don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”
I arrive at the hospital by eleven, a bundle of nerves as we wait for the test results. When I walk past the window of Ashley’s room and peek in, the sight knocks me on my ass. Ashley is sitting up in her bed, her tiny fingers punching at a video game controller, as she yells at the giant television screen perched in front of her bed. “I’m out of ammo; I’m out of ammo!” She chants. But the kicker is Brad sitting alongside her, also pouncing a controller, in unison. They’re laughing and playing as if they’ve known each other their whole lives. I step back from the window not wanting to be seen and tip-toe back across to the nurse's station. Ashley’s day nurse, Vicky, glances up at me with a devious grin, telling me she is not an innocent in this covert mission. “Hey Vicky, Do you know how long they’ve been together in there?” She smiles sweetly. “Dr. Brad has been here all morning. I think he’s excited to get the results. He’s a very nice man, even brought us all coffee this morning.” Dr. Brad? “He surprised Ashley with a new Xbox system, so I jacked the portable TV from the doctor's conference room. You girls are fortunate to have a man like that in your lives.” My cheeks flush, and I’m about to set her straight that he is not ours, but I realize it’s too long and personal of a story to tell.
I step back toward the window curious to watch them interact for a few more minutes before I go in. They’re both wearing headsets, and playing a military game, shooting and blowing lots of things up. They seem to be working a mission as a team as they kill their enemies. My loving, open-minded daughter doesn't seem fazed at all by the fact that she’s hanging with her birth father. A man she didn't even meet until last night. Brad looks just as relaxed and accepting of the situation, moreover, he seems happy about it. There's a sudden pang of guilt in my stomach as regret hits me like a brick. I screwed up so bad. Why didn’t I come clean in the beginning? I should have never married Ben, and I should have been honest with him and Brad. “Behind you, behind you!” Ashley shouts, waking me from my thoughts. “Gah, I’m shot, no lives left,” Brad exclaims, then glances toward the window and gives me a sexy lopsided grin.
They both remove their headsets when I enter, two sets of eyes study me, gauging my reaction. “Hi, Mom!” Ashley giggles, looking so much better today, once again, resembling my vibrant, happy baby girl. “Hey sweetheart, I see you guys have been up to no good.” “Brad bought me an Xbox.” She beams proudly. “And he’s surprisingly good at video games.” I frown at him. Brad stands and clears his throat. His jaw tightens, and he looks suddenly nervous
as he gauges me. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, I just want to get to know her. I hope you don’t mind? I just thought…” He fidgets nervously. “Its fine brad, I mean the gift is way too generous, but I’m glad to see you two getting acquainted.”
Ashley’s mouth curves into a smile and her eyes drift towards the bag I’m holding. “Is that blueberry muffins?” I return the smile and rest a kiss on the top of her head, before handing over the bag. “Of course it is. Do you mind if I speak to Brad outside for a minute?” Her eyes twinkle. “Uh oh! Someones in big trouble.” “I should go anyway.” Brad mutters. “Nooo! What about our rematch? This place is so damn boring.” Ashley exclaims. “Hey, language Miss!” I lecture, only to get some serious eye-rolling sent in my direction. “I only said damn, Mom.” “I’ll come back in, let me just talk to your Mom for a minute.” Brad offers, tousling Ashley’s hair before stepping out of the room. “Mom, It’s the most fun I’ve had in this place since I’ve been here, don’t be mad at him. I like him,” She whispers the last part to me. Ben was a good Dad in the sense that he always provided for Ashley, but he never spent much time getting to know her or play games with her. “I’m not mad honey, I promise, we’ll be right back.”
“I’m sorry, I just want to get to know her.” Brad shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m not mad Brad, I was just a little surprised to see you here this morning. I’m a bit shocked at how accepting she is towards this whole thing.” "Look I don’t know what role I’m supposed to play here, but I want to get to know her, develop some kind of relationship with her. I know we haven’t talked about that yet.” He places his arms on my shoulders and lowers his face close to mine. When his sexy, musky scent hits my senses, I go weak at the knees. An electric current runs through my body, and I'm Unable to help my self when I run my palm across his rock hard chest, just needing to touch him, immediately feeling a heaviness between my legs. God, I need to get a hold of myself. “Its fine Brad, I’m taking my cues from her right now, and if It makes her happy then it makes me happy. Thank you.” He smiles. “She’s a special girl.” “She is.” I whisper, our faces so close I think he might kiss me. Please kiss me. A throat clears behind me and I turn to see Dr. Collins. “The results are back.” My fists clench and I swallow down the lump in my throat. Dr. Collins mouth twitches, then he smirks. “He’s a match.”
CHAPTER 9
BRAD
I hold her tight as her entire body trembles, afraid she’ll fall if I let go. Tears spring from her eyes as Doctor Collins directs us back to the waiting room. “Since she just finished a round of chemo, she’s already had the preparative regimen, so we’d like to do the procedure right away.” “Oh my God, yes!” Sarah whimpers and I curl my arm around her waist tight. “We’ll do your procedure first Dr. Thorensen. I can have the rest of the team here by this afternoon. The procedure is quick, and you’ll need to stay overnight.” “Fine.” "You’ll just be a little sore and tomorrow someone will need to drive you home.” “I’m ready. Let's do this.” I say excitedly. “Perfect, we can have our girl set up with a catheter and receiving the marrow by tonight. Its similar to a blood transfusion, and will be quick and simple for her. We’ll continue monitoring her cell counts over the next few days to make sure it’s working, and she may even be able to go home in a week or so. After that, we’ll need to see her here at the hospital on a daily basis over the next few months to monitor and test her, but we can go over all that later.” Dr. Collins places his hand on Sarah’s shoulder, and she peers up at him. “She’s a strong young lady, and she’s going to come through this like a pro.” Doctor Collins lets out a nervous chuckle when Sarah stands and hugs him. “Brad, can you be back here around three for the procedure?” “I’ll be here.”
Dr. Collins leaves us, and I turn to face Sarah. “It’s gonna be okay Sunshine, I promise.” Sarah wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes tight. Her glossy eyes gaze up at me. “Brad, I…I don’t have any words to describe how grateful I am. I will never be able to repay you for this. You’re saving her life.” “Baby you don’t need to repay me, I’m just so thankful that I can help her.” She peeks up at me, and I have the sudden urge to kiss her, but this is not the time, so I take a step back. “You can stay at my house for a few days. You’ll be sore, and you won’t be able to drive. Let me take care of you.” I don't need to give it a second thought. I want to be near her. “Okay, I’ll go pick up my things from the hotel, and there’s something I need to take care of before I come back.”
I pull into the familiar gravel driveway, and the memories come flooding back as I stare at the worn out farmhouse. Most of them shitty, reminding me of why I left in the first place. Ben owns the house where we grew up now, and he can have it. When my parents died, I forfeited my half to him. I don’t need the money or the house or the memories. I climb the rickety steps of the wrap around porch I used to play on when I was a kid. Noticing the same weathered screen door, still hanging by a thread. I pause for a moment, trying to collect myself. I take a deep breath before I bang my knuckles on the wooden edge of the door. “Yeah, who is it?” A gruff voice rumbles from inside. A second later Ben appears on the other side of the door in worn jeans and a USMC T-shirt with a picture of a skull on the front. Between his size and all his tattoos, he's a scary looking dude. I'm preparing myself for a well-deserved punch in the face, but when Ben catches sight of me, he just swings the door open and steps aside, inviting me in.
The door slams shut and he marches past me. I follow him into the kitchen, neither of us saying a word. He snags two beers from the fridge, and I hold my hand up to decline politely. “I can’t. I need to be back at the hospital.” He grunts, handing me a bottle of water instead. “I heard…Sarah called me a little while ago.” He grumbles, then takes a large swig of his beer. “Look Ben I…” He holds up his hand, cutting me off mid-sentence, which I’m kind of glad for because I’m not sure what to say anyway. He pulls out a kitchen chair, flipping it around and sits on it backward. He motions for me to take a seat. “Look, Brad, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I should be kicking your ass right now, but honestly, I’m more pissed at myself. Should you have slept with my fiancé? Probably not, but we both know Sarah should have ended up with you and not me.” “Ben…” “We both had a terrible upbringing, and I know it’s not an excuse…I mean somehow you overcame it, but I let it define my life. I was never the settling down type, but you, you'd make a good husband and a good father.” “Ben you are a good dad. That girl loves you and she needs you, she’ll always need you. I’m not here to take anything away from you. You’re her father.” He takes another swig from his beer and slams it down on the table, his glossy eyes staring down at the bottle. “She is the only good thing in my life, and it hurts to lose that.” “You’ll never lose that Ben, she loves you and she depends on you, that’s not going to change.” “Look, Brad, I will always do anything for that little girl, you’re right, that will never change. But she needs stability in her life and so does Sarah. Sarah always tried to make the best of everything, but I failed them both. I’m just not wired like that, and I hurt them.” “Ben you did the best you could.” He cocks his head and chuckles. “Brad I’m leaving again in a few weeks, and I need to know that they are going to be taken care of. We both know I should never have married Sarah, it was a selfish thing to do. I’m not the settling down type. I took advantage of her, and I destroyed our marriage. I guess karma is a bitch. I need you to promise me you’ll treat them well and take good care of them the way they both deserve. If you want my forgiveness, then that’s what I need you to do. Promise me, Brad. They deserve to be treated like queens, and I know you're the one capable of that. I was not…” I hate seeing the pain etched on his face. He shrugs his shoulders and pounds his finger to his chest. “I was not capable of that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go see my little girl and wish her luck before her procedure.” With that I am dismissed, no handshake or bro hug, just a silent goodbye.
CHAPTER 10
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br /> BRAD
