Table of Contents
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday Morning
Tuesday Night
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Friday Night Entry
Saturday Morning
Saturday Night
Really Late Saturday Night Entry
Sunday
Find out What Happens Next in… Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 5
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This unofficial Minecraft novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners.
Sunday
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
“Wake up sleepy head, it’s time to rise and shine!”
“Urrggghhhwwhuzzat?”
“I said it’s morning time and it’s time for you to get up.”
Morning? Wha…Did my parents forget that Zombies burn in the daylight?
“Mom, that’s not funny, I’m trying to sleep.”
“Who are you calling Mom?”
“Wha…?!!”
Oh Man! It wasn’t a dream. I really did swap bodies with Steve!
Now this villager is trying to get me out of bed early in the morning, and make me go out in the daylight.
I better play along so I won’t give myself away.
“Hey, there…uh…Mr. Villager. What’s going on…Er…in your villager life?” I said.
“What’s the matter with you, Steve? Did you get bit by a Zombie or something?
“He, he…that’s real funny, bro…He, he.”
“Man, you’re acting really weird this morning.” He said.
So much for my acting skills.
But I’d better get good at it quick, because I’m going to have to act like Steve for the next few weeks until the full moon. That’s when the Swamp Witch that can switch our bodies back comes home.
I just have to remember what Steve told me.
I think he told me that to blend in with humans, I just had to stick with the basics…
“Humans are simple.” Steve said. “As long as you do what they do, you’ll fit right in.”
So, what does Steve do all day? Let me see…
I know that he likes mining, farming, and punching trees. I guess as long as I do those three things, I should fit right in.
But how am I going to learn how to do any of those things? I’ve never done them before!
Then a ray of sunshine came into my room.
At first I freaked out because I thought my skin would fry like bacon.
But then I realized that being Steve has its perks. I don’t have to be afraid of the daylight anymore!
So, first thing I did was go out into the open field to take in all of the sunshine.
It felt really good on my face and body. But, it was a little too bright though.
I was able to see all the fields, and the trees and the lake…
The lake!
I just realized that I could now jump in water and swim!
Normally, Zombies avoid water like the plague.
But now, I can go in water like all the other humans.
So the next thing I did was find the nearest lake so I could jump right in.
Then I climbed a really big tree…And SSSPPPLLLAAASSSHHHH!
Didn’t last long in the water though.
For some reason I thought humans could breathe under water…Cough, cough.
Later that evening I went to go visit Steve at our usual spot.
I could not believe my eyes!
Only one day, and Steve was already rockin’ the Zombie life.
“How was your first day at Zombie life?” I asked him.
“Aw Bro, Zombie life is really cool!” Steve said. “I could really get used to this.”
“Really? I thought being a Zombie really stinks.”
“Well, the smell is pretty bad. But I think I’ve gotten used to it by now.” Steve said.
“How about you? How’s it going living my old boring life? Have you met those crazy villagers yet?
“Yeah, what’s up with that?” I said. “I thought you lived with your parents.”
“Well, you wouldn’t believe this, but I don’t know where I’m from.” Steve said. “I’ve lived with the villagers all my life. I’ve never even met my parents.”
“Didn’t you ask the villagers where you’re from?” I asked Steve.
“I did ask them.” Steve said. “They just said that one day I woke in their bed, and they have no idea where I came from.”
“Whoa.”
“There’s a lot of other stuff that’s gonna weird you out, just wait.”
“Like what?”
“You’ll see.” Steve said.
Then we went our separate ways.
Man, I never looked that cool when I was a Zombie.
How does he do that?
As soon as I got home, one of the villagers says, “Whoa, you stink. You need to go take a shower and get that rotten meat smell off of you. You smell like you were wrestling with a Zombie.”
I actually liked smelling like my old self again.
So the villager hands me a bar of what he called “SO-AP,” and handed me something called a “TA-WOOL,” then he tells me to go take something called a “SHA-WUR.” Then he pointed me to a place called the “BA-FROOM.”
Man, I was getting dizzy just trying to remember it all.
As I walked into the BA-FROOM, I walked past the mirror and I had to do a double-take.
I got a chance to see my face, and boy was it weird.
I had eyeballs, I had a nose, I had ears, and I had skin everywhere. I also had bits of hair on my chin.
Then I opened my mouth and I saw that I had like a million teeth! I looked like a shark.
Whoa. What does Steve do with all of these teeth, anyway? I thought.
I wonder if humans really do eat Zombies, like in the movies.
Maybe I could practice being like Steve. So I tried making different faces…
Man, I don’t know if I’ll be able to pull it off.
But I’m going to try.
So after I took my SHA-WUR, I went to bed.
But I had a hard time sleeping because of my wet clothes…
Monday
“Steve, hurry up, or you’re going to be late for school.” The villager said.
Oh Man! Steve never mentioned anything about school!
I thought mining and farming was going to be hard. But trying to fit in at a human school is going to be impossible.
I mean, what do I wear? How do I act? What do I say to the other kids?
Will they even like me? What if they find out I’m really a Zombie in a Steve meat suit?
Man, I’ve only been a human for two days and my life is already filled with drama.
I looked in the closet for clothes to wear and I couldn’t find any.
I looked in the drawers and he had a bunch of the same shirts, and a bunch of the same pants.
Man, I thought only Zombies did that.
So I grabbed a shirt and pair of pants to put on.
I had a hard time putting them on until the villager walked in on me.
“Are you trying to put on new clothes on top of your old clothes?” The villager said. “You act like you’ve never worn clothes before.”
After he walked out of the room I took off my old clothes, and I couldn’t believe what I saw…
Steve’s skin totally covered his body!
He didn’t have any holes, or patches where his guts hung out.
You couldn’t reach in and play with his stomach, or his intestines, or his spine, like I could do with my Zombie body.
Man, this is weird, I thought.
Then I threw on some clothes, and I went to school.
The village during the day was intense!
There were villagers all over the place.
Villagers in black robes, villagers in white robes, villagers in purple robes, and more.
It was crazy!
It’s a good thing that the school was in the village. It was real easy to find.
But I thought the village was crazy. School was even crazier!
There were all kinds of kids in this place. There were skinny ones, fat ones, tall ones, and short ones.
And these kids weren’t wearing robes, they were wearing all kinds of crazy clothes.
One kid looked like he was wearing a porcupine on his head.
One girl looked like they used her face as a canvas for painting.
And there were a bunch of other kids that were almost as big as Mutant, but they had skin on them. I think they said they played a game called FOOT-BALL.
I even saw a Zombie at school!
But he had more meat on him than the usual living dead.
Maybe in Steve’s world Zombies eat tons of cake, I thought.
The weirdest thing I saw was that all the kids just hung out with those kids that looked just like them.
This was really different from my mob school back home.
All the mobs at my school hang out with different mob kids all the time.
That’s why me, Skelee, Slimey, and Creepy are best friends.
But here, humans act really weird.
I think I’m going to go home early today…
Tuesday Morning
I was really weirded out by what I saw yesterday.
I mean, all those humans in one place gave me the creeps.
Not to mention, the smell!
Not one kid smelled like rotten flesh, or stale mucus, or moldy gym socks.
Except for one kid…he smelled like all three. I really liked him.
But, I decided that today, I was going to get through it.
I mean, Steve is probably having a tough time too.
Being a Zombie is really hard, you know. Especially trying to keep up with the cool lifestyle and reputation I’ve built for myself at school.
I feel real sorry for him.
The cool thing is that Steve gave me his extra cellphone so we can call each other in case we get in a sticky situation.
I’m probably going to call him like fifty times today.
Well, here goes another day of craziness at human middle school…
Tuesday Night
Today was the worst day of my life…
Man, I thought there was drama in being a Zombie.
These humans have drama, times ten!
As soon as I got to school today, all the other kids were looking at me and saying stuff to each other.
I wanted to be friendly, so I went up to one kid to say “Hi.” He did something with his eyes and walked away.
I didn’t know you could roll your eyes into your head like that….
Then when I was walking to class, I tripped and accidentally dropped my books on the floor.
I was still getting used to walking straight.
I went to go pick my books up, but then everybody started kicking them down the hallway.
Somehow they ended up in the toilet bowl in the boys bathroom.
The good thing is that now they actually smell like my books back home.
My first class was called “How to Annihilate Mobs and Eradicate Them From Existence.”
It was taught by a former army sergeant that fought in the previous Zombie Apocalypse.
His name was Master Sergeant Fuller B. Loney.
All I can tell you is that all through class I was shaking like a leaf.
He talked about how to chop Zombies into little bits with a pickaxe or axe. But, he said, the best weapon is a sword. You can cut off arms and legs real easy with a sword.
I was about to hurl in the middle of class.
He said with creepers, you need to be really careful. The best assault is to knock them into other mobs so that they can blow up the whole lot.
Slimes are easy, he said. Just lure them into a lake and drown them.
But skeletons are the worst. He said you’ve got to either use TNT to blow up a bunch of them, or chop them down to size with a sword.
“And if you ever find yourself out of food…” He said. “ You can use rotten flesh to make some great beef jerky. Zombie Jerky, I call it.”
I blew out of class so fast, I left the door swinging behind me.
Right in the middle of the school hallway, I hurled.
All of the other kids started laughing at me…Especially when I slipped and fell in my vomit.
I actually didn’t mind the vomit…
The laughing, though, I didn’t like very much.
The one good thing that happened today was that a really nice girl helped me and took me to get cleaned up.
“Are you OK, Steve?” She said.
“You know who I am?”
“Steve, it’s me. Alex.” She said. “You must’ve hit your head harder than I thought.”
“Hi Alex.” I said.
She took some paper towels and started cleaning the vomit off my face and clothes.
I asked her to leave a little on my shirt because the smell reminded me of home.
She just looked at me…Confused.
Well, after all that drama, I decided to go home early again, today.
Maybe tomorrow I can make it through a whole day of human school.
I seriously doubt it…
Wednesday
The villagers I live with look pretty smart with their long robes and big noses.
So, I thought I would ask them what I could do to fit in at school.
One of the villagers told me that if I wanted to fit in, then I need to find a group of kids that like what I like.
He said that’s what all of the villagers do. The Farmers stick with the Farmers, the Librarians stick with the Librarians, the Blacksmiths stick with the Blacksmiths, the Priests stick with the Priests, and the Butchers stick with the Butchers.
He said that they all even dress the same.
That made a lot of sense, I thought.
So, today at lunch time, I decided to find a group of kids that like what I like.
The
problem was that there were so many groups to choose from!
I was thinking of joining the FOOT-BALL players. But they were too big, and not very smart.
I thought about joining the girls with the painted faces. But they kept doing that “rolling your eyes” thing that really creeps me out.
I was thinking of joining the group of weird kids with glasses. But they were too busy playing with their mini-computers and protecting their pockets and stuff.
I know, I thought. I’ll join the group of Zombie kids!
I heard they called themselves, “Goths.” I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew the living dead when I saw them.
That’s it! I thought. That’s the group I’m going to be part of.
I decided to sit at the table where the Zombie kids were eating their lunch.
Oh, man. I thought. Maybe they have some cake!
But as soon as I sat down, they all got up and moved to another table.
I decided to follow them.
Every time I sat down they got up. Kind of reminded me of the musical Zombie chairs game we play at home.
When they ran out of tables, one of the Zombie Goth kids stopped me and asked me, “Why are you following us?”
“I want to be a Zombie, like you guys.” I said.
She just looked at me…Confused.
“Zombies? Look, we’re just expressing our own individuality and non-conformity to the norms that society is trying to force upon us.”
Now I looked at her…Confused.
“Do you have any cake?” I said.
“We’re outta here.” And they all got up and left the lunch room.
I guess they didn’t like cake, I thought.
Man, being a kid in middle school is really confusing…
Thursday
Minecraft: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 4: Zombie Swap (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) (Minecraft, Minecraft Books, Minecraft Books for Kids, Minecraft Diary, Minecraft Handbook, Herobrine) Page 1
