An Inconvenient Obsession

by Natasha Tate

  But no. He intended to savor his seduction, to prolong the sweet taste of her submission before he crushed her.

  “Buckle up,” he told her, feigning calm as he fastened his own seat belt. “We don’t want to jeopardize that beautiful neck of yours.”

  She started and then fumbled for the seat belt, cinching it tight across her lap. Lacing her trembling fingers together, she pressed them against the chrome buckle and then dropped her focus to the backs of her thumbs.

  He allowed her the moment of retreat, using the time to adjust his plans. He’d reacted to her bewitching kiss more than he’d anticipated, while the exquisite vision of her swollen mouth, bared shoulders and the slim column of her throat merged with the worn memories of the Cate he’d once treasured. He’d meant to keep the Cate of his memories separate from the coldhearted beauty he knew her to be. The fact that kissing her had somehow blended the two didn’t sit well in his gut.

  The Cate of his memories didn’t exist. She never had. He couldn’t allow her to lull him into thinking otherwise.

  He had to remember that beneath her enchanting surface lurked a cruel, vindictive liar who used men for her own desires. He couldn’t allow himself to forget the way she’d used him and then discarded him.

  Though time had ripened Cate’s beauty to the point that just looking at her aroused him to a painful degree, he could not allow his emotions to become involved. Yes, her lush body had gained curves in the years they’d been apart, and yes, her girlish features had matured into those of a woman in her prime. But it didn’t matter. She couldn’t matter.

  He told himself he was glad that her wide eyes, as clear as the Caribbean Sea they’d swum in as children, looked haunted now. Sad. Grief over her father’s death had sculpted her face into a fragile composition of delicate cheekbones, thin wings of brow and plump, pink lips. He wanted to revel in her grief, to rejoice in her pain, but kissing her had twisted his emotions so thoroughly that he felt almost human again.

  The sensation was not pleasant.

  Ethan opened the side bar, poured a tumbler of Scotch and extended it toward her. “Drink?”

  She shook her head without looking at him.

  Undeterred, he tossed back a burning swallow.

  It didn’t help.

  Cate’s profile still drew his gaze. As he traced the shadow and light that gilded her features, he reminded himself that she hadn’t married for good reason. Surely, she’d had offers. If not for her beauty, then for her wealth.

  But she’d rejected them all, undoubtedly with the same cool disregard she’d shown him. She was her father’s daughter, after all, and no one would ever be good enough.

  He took another fiery swallow of Scotch while visions of his triumph played in his mind. Soon, he’d find his pleasure between Cate’s creamy thighs, consume her cries of ecstasy and make her beg for more and more and more. And when he was done with her, when he’d exorcised her from his very bones, he would be the one to walk away. He would be the one in control.

  Perhaps then, he would finally be able to destroy the memories that still arose during his unguarded moments. Perhaps then, he’d no longer see her heart-shaped mouth, her smooth brow, or the satiny curve of her cheek in the faces of nameless strangers. Perhaps then, he’d finally see she was just like every other female he’d met. Shallow. Forgettable. Interchangeable.

  Once he’d satisfied the inconvenient desire for Cate, once he’d dispelled all traces of his adolescent dreams of animal pleasure, he could finally claim a measure of peace. He didn’t fool himself into thinking he’d find happiness. He certainly didn’t want love. Hell, he’d given up believing in such illusions years ago. No, it would be enough just to rid himself of her, and to prove, once and for all, that she meant nothing to him.

  They rode for several miles before Ethan’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “So tell me, Cate, why haven’t I seen you on the dressage circuit lately?”

  She dared a glance at him, finding his eyes unreadable and remote. She didn’t trust his expression. Didn’t trust his motives. How could he have kissed her so thoroughly and not be affected? Looking at him, at his expectant expression, it was as if the kiss had never happened.

  Yet she still felt the memory of his touch humming against her skin. She could feel the banked arousal simmering beneath the surface, sparking in the air between them. It made her uneasy. And she didn’t know how to navigate the minefield of the past without revealing her susceptibility to him. “I don’t compete anymore,” she finally said.

  “No?” He arched a disbelieving brow. “But horses and riding were your life.”

  You were my life. “I developed other interests,” she said with a noncommittal shrug.

  His eyes narrowed, assessing. “It was because of your accident, wasn’t it?”

  “What?” she blurted.

  “Your accident,” he said softly. “That’s why you stopped riding.”

  “How do you know about that?” What else did he know? Oh, God, what if he knew?

  “I understand it was touch and go for a while there, that you were lucky to have survived, let alone—”

  “I don’t know who supplied your information,” she interrupted. “But they exaggerated.” Forcing lightness, she swept a hand over her once-crippled legs. She couldn’t bear it if he knew about her damaged body and the scars that would forever handicap her future. She couldn’t bear his pity. “As you can see, I’m fine. No worse for the wear.”

  “But you stopped riding.”

  “I don’t like riding anymore.”

  A low rumble of laughter filled the air between them. “You. Don’t like riding.”

  She bristled beneath his sarcastic tone. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

  A cocked ebony brow told her all she needed to know. “You’re not a quitter, Cate.”

  “Spare me,” she warned with a huff of breath. “Father spent the last nine years of his life delivering variations on the whole ‘get back on the horse’ lecture. I’m immune to it.”

  He inclined his head, a subtle sign of reluctant acquiescence. “All right, then. We won’t talk about your sudden aversion for the horses you once loved. Why don’t you tell me about the men you’ve dated instead?”

  Before she could stop it, a startled laugh erupted from her throat. “Me? Dating? Ethan, if your sources were any good, you’d know the answer to that already.”

  His gaze intensified. “You’re right. Maybe I should have asked why you haven’t dated anyone seriously.” His expression turned dangerous. Seductive and sultry as his voice dipped low. “Have you been waiting for my return?”

  She averted her eyes while the truth curled within her stomach. “Of course not.”

  “Then why have you denied all the men who’ve pursued you? Surely there was a decent one somewhere in the bunch.”

  “I got tired of competing with my stock portfolio for a man’s attention.” She softened the bitter statement with a flutter of her hand. “It’s much easier to avoid the whole dating scene altogether than to try to divine a man’s true motives.”

  “You could always date a rich man.” He slanted her a smoldering glance, warming to the idea. “A man like me, for instance.”

  She laughed nervously at that, shaking her head. “Subtle. It’s a wonder you and your ego can both fit in the same car.”

  “We’ve come to an agreement, he and I.” His eyes glinted with focused intent, heating her despite her efforts to keep the conversation light. “I get him what he wants—you, namely—and he leaves me alone.”

  “Let me guess. You learned these outrageous flirting techniques from all those supermodels, didn’t you?”

  The glint in his eyes turned feral. “Cate Carrington, have you been keeping tabs on me?”

  A blush blossomed in her chest and quickly burned a path to her hairline. “No. But I’d have to be both blind and stupid not to notice that you’re the featured real estate mogul in every other issue of the gossip magazines
.”

  Her denial seemed to amuse him, as if he somehow acknowledged her lie and was willing to tolerate it. For now. “Yet you accuse my sources of exaggerating,” he said, leaning forward to trace a finger along her upper arm.

  She withdrew from his touch, her stomach trembling at his nearness. “Not all pictures lie.”

  He watched her, his beautiful mouth crooked in an unnerving smile. “What can I say? I took a gamble on the American Dream and it paid off. In Europe.” His intent gaze held too much confident prowess to put her at ease. “Can I help it if my success attracts tall, leggy brunettes?”

  Cate swallowed, shifting her thigh away from contact with his splayed hand. “I can see it’s a real trial for you, juggling so much female attention along with the demands of business.”

  “Yes, well, I do have good employees who are able to pick up the slack on occasion.”

  “Did any of them come to New York with you?”

  “You mean besides my entourage of models?” he asked with a sarcastic tilt to his lips.

  She shot him a speaking glance. “They’re not your employees.”

  “A couple of them actually are,” he said. “But to answer your question, yes. I brought a team of twelve while we do some scouting for new properties. But we won’t be here for long.”

  “Not enough interesting properties here in the States?”

  “Not at all. There are plenty. But as talented as my board of directors and developers in Europe are, I still have to be on site for the big decisions.”

  “Of course you do.” She cocked her head. “You don’t relinquish control to anyone, do you?”

  “What successful businessman does?”

  She acknowledged his point with a nod.

  “Even with the right people on a team, bringing different strengths and resources to the table, there will always be a need for leadership.”

  Cate studied his face, trying to understand the gradual transformation that had turned the boy she’d loved into the successful, driven man seated beside her. “You’re a good leader, aren’t you?”

  His white, predator’s teeth flashed. “Depends. According to some, yes. But to others, I’m a manipulative, domineering bastard.”

  “You?” She arched an amused brow. “Never.”

  They exchanged a smile, a smile that didn’t seem underscored by defensiveness or anger, and Cate felt a small glow of happiness collect in her chest. “I always knew you’d do well, Ethan.”

  His smile lost its moorings. “Really.”

  She nodded while her stomach fluttered with nerves. “That’s why I did it, you know.”

  “It?” he clarified, his mouth now a grim line.

  Biting her bottom lip, she dared to meet his eye. “Sent you away.”

  Anger slammed back into his expression as quickly as it had disappeared, burning like live coals within the brittle blue of his eyes. “I don’t want to discuss the past.”

  “I know it’s uncomfortable. But I want you to know my reasons.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve missed your friendship. I’ve missed the honesty we used to share.” She felt herself flush, but continued. “I hated lying to you, and I’ve always felt guilty about the awful things I said.”

  He stared at her for a long moment, then offered a faint, chilling smile. “Really.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “YES.” Cate inhaled a bracing lungful of air, nervous now that the opportunity to unburden the lies of her past was here. “You can’t know how wretched I’ve felt, how many times I’ve wished there could have been another way.”

  He simply looked at her, his expression impossible to read.

  “When I told you I didn’t want you anymore, I lied. You were my best friend. Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever endured. You have to believe that.”

  A slow blink revealed nothing of his thoughts. “Do I?”

  Heat climbed her chest, but she barreled through the confession. “The only reason I did what I did was because I wanted you to reach your potential instead of languishing on the island, waiting for my next vacation. I wanted you to take your job offer, make connections and build a future for yourself. I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d allowed you to sacrifice everything to stay with me.”

  His expression didn’t change, though a small muscle ticked in his jaw. “So you weren’t just toying with an underling, slumming with the help until you found somebody better.”

  Guilt twisted mercilessly in her belly and she dropped her gaze to her lap. “I only said that because I couldn’t think of another way to convince you to leave,” she mumbled.

  “Because you thought I’d have languished, had I stayed.”

  “Was I wrong?” She bit her lip and then lifted her gaze. “I knew you’d choose me over your ambition, given the choice.”

  “Now who’s got the ego?”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” She twisted her hands in her lap, willing him to understand. “But whether I was right or not, that’s what I believed at the time.” Closing her eyes, she inhaled once again for courage. “I lied based on that belief. I lied so you’d take the internship my father had arranged.”

  “The internship?” His voice was low. Dangerous and very, very controlled.

  A thread of nervousness snaked down Cate’s spine. “Yes. Your internship with Stevenson and Sons. Father arranged it on the condition that I break things off with you.”

  His eyes narrowed the merest fraction of an inch. “He blackmailed you with a job for me?”

  “No!” She grimaced. “Well, kind of. But not really. He just made it easier for me to make the right decision. We both knew you’d only have a future if you left the estate, and by your own admission, you wouldn’t have left without me forcing you to.”

  “So I was your charity case.”

  “Of course you weren’t! I just wanted you to be happy. Successful. And I knew if you stayed, you’d end up being neither.” She clamped her hands together and leaned toward him. “I only sent you away because I felt like I had no choice. I didn’t want you to look back on your life later and resent me.”

  His eyes flashed blue fire. “Why thank you, Cate. Thank you for paving the way to my future with your rejection.”

  Her stomach quailed at the coldness in his tone. “It hurt me, too.”

  “I imagine it did.”

  “You don’t sound like you believe me.”

  His mouth smiled, though nothing else did. “Why wouldn’t I, when your sacrifice helped make me into such a raging success?”

  “You look angry.”

  His expression softened as if he’d flipped a switch, trading rage for sensuality within the blink of an eye. “I’m not angry, Cate. I’m grateful. Appreciative.” He reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Here all this time, I’ve thought you were just the reason for my childhood happiness, yet it turns out you’re the reason for everything.”

  “I didn’t tell you because I wanted your gratitude.”

  “Shh. Don’t be modest.” His voice caressed her as smoothly as that single finger drifting down the side of her neck. “You’ll spoil it.”

  She shook her head, feeling inexplicably off kilter. “But—”

  “I listened to your confession.” His eyes dared her to speak again. “Let that be enough.”

  Twenty minutes of tension-filled silence later, Ethan’s driver pulled into her Cold Spring Harbor estate. The wheels of Ethan’s limousine crunched over autumn leaves and the eastern sky showed hints of dawn as the sun crept toward the horizon. Cate’s nerves jumped when the driver cut the engine, plunging them into an even heavier silence.

  Without conversation to distract her, she’d had too much time to think about all the things she neglected to say, about the parts of the truth she’d kept from him. She closed her eyes, willing the memories away. Things were different now. They were different. The love she’d felt for him in the past did not have a place in her f
uture.

  “It looks smaller than I remember,” Ethan said, leaning forward to look at the muted landscape lighting and dual colonial columns of the Carrington mansion.

  Grateful for the innocuous topic, Cate offered a nervous smile. “I’ve heard that happens.”

  Ethan opened his door just as his chauffeur opened Cate’s. A brisk breeze from the shore lifted the ends of her hair and a small torrent of leaves spun into the car. She shivered, then turned to accept the chauffeur’s extended hand. “Thank you,” she told him, stretching to a stand on the cobbled brick driveway and then tightening her coat about her waist. “Would you like to come inside for some coffee?” she offered.

  The chauffeur exchanged a glance with Ethan and shook his head. “No, thank you, ma’am. I’ll be fine out here.”

  “It’s really no bother,” she insisted.

  Ethan stepped close, leaning to speak softly against her hair. “Walter knows I’ve waited all night to be alone with you. He doesn’t wish to intrude.”

  Shivers rippled out from the epicenter of his grazing touch, and suddenly, she didn’t know where to rest her gaze.

  Mercifully, the uniformed driver avoided her eyes as he tipped his hat and then circled the car to resume his seat behind the wheel. Too soon, Cate and Ethan were left alone in the predawn dark, the muted garden lights and pale blue dash lights of the limousine their only illumination. Cate swallowed, nervousness bringing a tingle of dampness to her palms.

  Ethan’s hand settled against her spine. “Can you see well enough to navigate in those shoes?”

  “I’m fine,” she said, twisting away from him until a sliver of air separated them.