Naughty 2: My Way or the Highway

by Brenda Hampton

  Realizing that I wasn’t joking, Scorpio grabbed her cookbook and left. Her disrespect fucked her right out of this good dick tonight.

  The Loft wasn’t no joke. Women were down to wearing a little bit of nothing. Legs, back, breasts, ass, you name it, I saw it. There were some sexy-ass women in the club, but there was also some sistas who knew damn well they shouldn’t have tried to squeeze into those skimpy-ass outfits they wore. I felt like if your back was out, and your rolls were showing, then that wasn’t the outfit for you.

  This one gal had so many rolls showing that I asked Stephon if he had some butter. We damn near fell to the floor laughing so hard. And Ray Ray had the nerve to ask her to dance.

  When I asked Ray Ray about his wife, he said they were already separated and he couldn’t be with just one woman. I definitely knew the feeling and was glad I hadn’t wasted that kind of money or time on getting married.

  Stephon and me kicked down our game all night. We grabbed two light-skinned sistas who were showing all skin, and asked them to dance.

  I dropped low and rubbed my dance partner on her soft, pretty legs. I worked my way up from the floor and held her waist. She placed her arms on my shoulders and worked her sexy body to my rhythm. “So, what’s your name?” I asked.

  “Beaches.”

  “What?” I said, as I couldn’t quite hear over the loud music.

  “Beaches,” she yelled a little louder.

  “Say, Beaches, what do you think about us hooking up tonight?”

  She smiled and removed her arms from my shoulders. “You are awfully confident and sexy, but I’ll have to pass. I’m engaged and—”

  I immediately stopped dancing with her because there wasn’t no sense in me going any further. If she was engaged, then what in the fuck was she doing in here? I walked off the dance floor and went over to the bar. Stephon was still on the floor dancing with her sister. I’d hoped he was having better luck with her.

  While at the bar, several women approached me about dancing. Since none of them offered to pay for my drink, I declined. But when this thick, mocha-chocolate sista with long wavy hair slammed some money on the bar to pay for my Remy, she got my attention.

  “I got your back, and then some, handsome. Question is, are you ready for some serious action tonight?”

  “That depends on what type of action you have in mind.”

  “How about I’ll show you when we get to my place.”

  Damn, do I look that easy? I thought. She was aggressive, but she was my kind of woman. “Baby, what would give you the idea that I want to go to your place tonight?”

  She took my hand and eased it in between her legs. Wearing no panties, I felt the goods. And after scoping the thickness of her shiny lips, I quickly downed my drink and whispered in her ear, “I need somewhere to lay my head. It would be quite nice if I could lay it in you.”

  She took my hand, and before we left, I stopped to let Stephon know I was outtie.

  “Say, man, call me tomorrow,” I said.

  “You gon’ dog? I thought we were going to the Waffle House tonight?”

  “Sorry, bro, waffles don’t come like this,” I said, looking next to me. “And please understand that plans do change, my brotha, plans most certainly do change.”

  Stephon checked out the loveliness I had next to me and gave me five. “Do your thang, cuz, and call me later.”

  “Will do.”

  I rode to the club with Stephon, so the chick whose name I still hadn’t gotten agreed to drive. We searched for her car in the parking lot, and when she had the nerve to step to this gray, raggedy-ass Lincoln, I could have died. But then I thought about when Scorpio first came over to see me in her raggedy Cadillac, and decided not to judge.

  No sooner had we gotten inside the car, she was all over me. She unzipped my pants and gagged as she tried to swallow all of my nine. I somewhat enjoyed the feeling, and tried to show her a little satisfaction by rubbing her ass.

  I felt very little passion for what was going on, so it took forever for me to come. I even closed my eyes and pretended she was Scorpio, but when I felt the edges of her sharp teeth, I knew something wasn’t right. She wrapped up the blowjob, then started the car so we could leave. The damn thing sounded like a garbage truck, shaking our bodies. I was so embarrassed when she sped from the parking lot, my ass flying out of my seat from her abrupt departure.

  “Whoa... whoa... Slow down, damn!” I yelled, holding onto the dashboard. “This car could really use a tune-up, you know.”

  She took her eyes off the road and grinned. “It’s an old car. I’m getting a new one next week.”

  Sure you are, I thought. A Lexus, right?

  “You know, you haven’t even asked me my name yet.”

  “That’s because I don’t want to know your name. Not really important to me.” I was infuriated by the way she drove. She had my damn life in her hands and she was swerving in and out of traffic with it. Of course she was anxious to feel my dick, but damn!

  When she hit Highway 70 going one hundred miles per hour then got off near the projects, I’d had enough.

  “Pull this raggedy-ass piece of shit over, please!” I yelled.

  “What?” she yelled back.

  “I said, pull this son of a bitch over!”

  “Why? What’s wrong with you?” She slowed down and pulled over to the curb. I hopped out and slammed the door.

  She tried to lower the window but it got stuck. “You’re a silly-ass fool, you know that?” she said.

  “And you’re a non-dick-sucking, low-down, nasty-looking, trifling freak! Do you know that?”

  I started down the street, and as she drove by, she honked the horn and gave me the finger. I pulled out my cell phone and called Stephon. He could barely hear what I was saying because of the loud music in the background. He said that he was on his way to the restroom so he could hear me.

  “Man, come get me,” I said, laughing.

  “Where are you? And what happened to that fine piece of tender you left here with?”

  “Man, never ever judge a book by its cover. That fine piece of tender turned out to be a melting snowflake. That bitch was crazy.” Stephon laughed. I told him where I was and he came for me.

  We sat at the Waffle House and cracked up about what had happened. And after my experience with whatever-the-hell-her-name-was, I was done messing around with women. At least for the night.

  Chapter 10

  Jaylin

  I woke up around eleven o’clock in the morning and almost forgot that I told Nokea I would meet her and LJ at Café Lapadero by one o’clock in the afternoon. My little man was finally one year old today, and I for damn sure wasn’t getting any younger myself.

  I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. I looked in the mirror and sung a quick Happy Birthday to myself and thanked God for another year. I didn’t look a day over twenty-one, and definitely wasn’t feeling like the average thirty-three-year-old man. I thought it was quite odd that Mackenzie hadn’t come in my bedroom yet, so I quickly brushed my teeth and splashed some water on my face. I hurried to see what was keeping her from wishing the love of her life, me, a Happy Birthday.

  I noticed that she wasn’t in her room, so I gathered my silk robe and jogged down the steps to find her. By the time I reached the bottom, I could see people in the living room.

  “SURPRISE!” Everybody yelled. I widened my eyes and smiled because they’d caught me completely off guard. Nanny B walked up to me and placed her hands on my face.

  “Happy Birthday,” she said, kissing my cheek. I looked into the great room where Mackenzie, Scorpio, LJ, Nokea, Stephon, and his girlfriend Mona, were standing.

  “What’s up?” I said, walking toward them. “Is everybody trying to get their party on this early?” They laughed and I took LJ from Nokea. I wished him a Happy Birthday too and Nokea wished me one as well.

  Nanny B took a deep breath, “Well, I just put together a
little something nice for you this morning. I know you probably have a busy day planned, but I wanted to do something special to show you how much we all appreciate you.”

  “Yeah, man,” Stephon interrupted. “I almost slipped and told you about this last night, but I wanted it to be a surprise.” He came over and gave me a hug. “I love you, cuz, and appreciate ya.”

  I embraced Stephon, then turned and looked at everyone else. My throat ached from all the love. “I really don’t know what to say, but thanks for thinking about me. I can’t ever remember having nobody go all out like this for me on my birthday.”

  Feeling a bit emotional, I sat back on the leather chaise and put LJ on my lap. When Mackenzie saw me blink, she walked over and put her arms around my neck.

  “Daddy, we got you a present,” she said.

  “Say you did?”

  “Yes. Can I give it to you now?” she asked.

  Scorpio came over by us and leaned down to kiss me. “Happy Birthday, knucklehead. And Mackenzie, we’ll give him his present after we eat some cake, okay?”

  “Cake? I get cake too,” I grinned.

  “Yes, Daddy. And it’s your favorite.”

  Just then, Nanny B came into the living room with a two-tier Black Forest cake in her hands. There seemed to be enough candles on top to burn the damn house down. She said the top layer was for LJ and the bottom layer was for me. I stood up with him in my arms and everybody sang “Happy Birthday” to both of us.

  I blew out the candles, and Nanny B went back into the kitchen to cut slices for everyone. It messed me up that we were all actually in the same room talking to each other and everybody seemed to be getting along just fine. How Nanny B ever managed to get Scorpio and Nokea over here without a fuss puzzled the hell out of me. And Stephon, to bring Mona when he and Nokea were engaged before... This was, without a doubt, some crazy shit. Stephon had been seeing Mona behind Nokea’s back and I figured she had to be wondering what the hell was up. Since nobody else seemed to be tripping, we ate cake and I went with the flow. The only thing I couldn’t seem to get with was how jacked-up my great room was from all the cake crumbs and shoe prints on my carpet. Not being able to stand the sight, I got up and collected everybody’s plates to throw in the trash.

  “Jaylin!” Nanny B yelled.

  “What?”

  “Sit down, chile, I’ll get that stuff in a minute.”

  “I was just trying to help, that’s all.”

  “No, sit down and enjoy your company. Don’t worry about this mess. I’ll clean it up when we get finished.”

  I went back over to the chaise and laid back. Stephon stared at me for a few seconds, then turned to Nanny B. “Nanny B, what are you doing to this man to keep him in check like that?” He stood with his mouth wide open. “I ain’t never, and I mean never—did I say never? Never seen a woman have control over him like that.”

  Scorpio and Nokea looked at me and smiled. I picked up my black velvet pillow and threw it at him. “Nigga, please. Ain’t nobody got control over me, fool. Nanny B said she had everything under control so, hey. No need for me to help when she’s gotten everything taken care of, right?”

  Stephon shrugged. “Hey, I’m just saying I’ve never seen you listen to anybody without putting up a fuss.” He walked over by Scorpio and nudged her on the shoulder. “How about you, Scorpio? Have you ever seen him move like that when you’ve demanded something from him?”

  “No, can’t say that I have.” Scorpio folded her arms and leaned back on the couch. “Nanny B must got something I don’t have.” She turned to Nokea, “What about you, Nokea? Does he ever listen to you, or do anything you ask?”

  “You know, I really can’t say that he has either. Every time I ask him to do something, he causes an uproar. So, Nanny B, tell us. How did you ever get this man to start listening to you?” Nokea asked.

  Nanny B scooted her wide hips to the edge of the chair, and rubbed her wrinkly hands together. All eyes were on her. I quickly rose up because I had a feeling she was about to embarrass me. “Nanny B, you don’t have to answer any questions. I just, uh—”

  “You just what?” she said, smiling.

  “Nothing.” I leaned back and folded my hands behind my head. There wasn’t no sense in me trying to stop her because she was so ready to run her mouth.

  “You know,” she said as if she was getting ready to tell a story to a crowd of listeners. “I observe men well. And what I’ve noticed is that Jaylin likes to have control. In addition to having control, he loves confrontation. Wouldn’t you all agree?” Everybody nodded and I smiled. “With that in mind, the only way to prevent yourself from arguing with him is to play his game and let him think he’s having his way. For instance, when he got his anal butt up a minute ago, in the middle of us having a good time, and tried to clean up, I kindly—and the key is being kind and not stooping to his level—but I kindly told him I would clean up later. Then, I politely asked him to have a seat. Now, he didn’t get his way because this room is still a mess. Because my words were not on his level, he chilled and didn’t say a word. You see how I got what I wanted and I didn’t even have to fuss with him about it.”

  Everybody cracked up because they knew Nanny B had scammed me. What they didn’t know is I had more respect for her than anybody in the whole room. Since I’d known her, she had my back and never put up a fuss about anything I asked her to do.

  They all sat around talking and laughing about the situation. The doorbell rang and Nanny B stood to go answer it. I stopped her.

  “I got it. Keep on entertaining my guests, I don’t mind doing your job.”

  As I made my way to the door, she rushed past me. “Go sit your behind down, Jaylin. I’m going to answer it because, knowing you, I might not have a job tomorrow.”

  “You got that right.” I laughed and went back to the great room.

  When everybody stared at the front door, I turned to see who it was. It was Heather. Nanny B let her in and she stood in the foyer with a short, maroon Chinese dress on and tall black heels. Her long blond hair was pulled over to one side and laid on her shoulders. I noticed a small package in her hand. My eyes were about to pop out of my head. There was no way Nanny B would have invited Heather, because they’d never met before. Trying to get my thoughts together, I cleared my throat and turned back to my guests.

  “Sorry, I forgot. This is Mr. Schmidt’s daughter, Heather. He told me she was stopping by to bring over some important papers for me to sign. I didn’t know he had a gift for me, too.”

  Scorpio and Nokea took deep breaths and appeared to be relaxed. Stephon was the only one who knew about Heather, and all he did was grin.. I introduced everyone to Heather, and then she followed me into my office. I closed the door behind us, locked it, and took a seat behind my desk.

  “Damn, Heather, what’s up?”

  “I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I wanted to give you your birthday present. I’ve called you several times, and since you didn’t return my calls, I thought you misplaced my number. Honestly, I really didn’t think my coming to see you was going to be a problem.” She laid the bag on my desk.

  “Well, it is. You just can’t be showing up when you get good and ready to. What we have going on is my business. I don’t want anybody questioning me, so please, next time call first, okay? If I don’t call you back, just wait until I do.”

  “I don’t understand why our relationship has to be such a secret. I would love to meet your friends. I really hope this has nothing to do with me being a white woman.”

  “No... No, I could care less about that. The biggest problem I have with you is that you’re a married woman, Heather. I can’t go flaunting you around like you’re mine. That’s ridiculous.”

  “What do you want me to do, get a divorce? Would that make it easier for you?”

  “No, Heather. The last thing I want you to do is get a divorce, trust me. I’m just saying let’s keep this on the down-low. I’ll return you
r calls, only if you promise not to show up again unexpected like this.”

  She shrugged. “I guess, Jaylin. Whatever works for you.” She picked up the bag and gave it to me. “Here. I special ordered this for you. Open it.”

  I reached in the bag and pulled out a box. It was a Rolex case. I laid it down on my desk and slid it over to her.

  “Thanks, but I already have three. And before this goes any further, I don’t need you buying me expensive gifts like this.”

  “Now, that’s not fair. How can you refuse it if you haven’t even seen it?” She walked around my desk and placed the box in my hand. “Please, open it.”

  I opened the box and gazed at the watch. It had a face filled with diamonds, was stainless steel, and trimmed in eighteen-karat yellow gold. An Oyster bracelet linked it together. Taking a guess, I’d say she spent a minimum of $25,000. “You have got to be out of your mind giving me something like this. There is no way in hell I’m going to accept this from you.”

  “But—

  “But my ass, Heather. Sorry, I’m not that kind of man. Now, I might play the fuck-me game every once in a while, but this expensive-gift-giving bullshit is not my style.”

  I closed the box and placed it in her hand. She moved her head from side to side. “I don’t know what else to do. I thought if I bought you something nice, you’d know how much I care.”

  “You don’t have to be spending that kind of money to show me how much you care. Trust me, I know how you feel. Just understand our relationship has limitations. Limitations because you’re married, and honestly, I’m a playa. A playa who has no desire to be with one woman, or to take from them either.”

  Heather swallowed hard and tucked her purse underneath her arm. She made her way to the door. My eyes were glued to her curvy ass squeezed in her dress. When she turned, she noticed how mesmerized I was by her. She tilted her head and smiled to get my attention.

  “Sorry...What did you say?” I asked and cleared my throat.