Winter’s Awakening

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “I think we should go next door,” Ty blurted, stopping them all in their tracks.

  Lilly looked at him in surprise. “That’s a great idea, Ty! The Grabers’ house will be just fine in a power outage. They don’t use electricity anyway.”

  Her parents looked at each other worriedly. “We can’t just show up, Lilly,” her dad said. “That wouldn’t be right.”

  “I don’t think they’d mind, Dad.”

  “But we can’t even call to see if it’s okay.”

  Ty peered through the frosty glass. “I see lights on in their house. They’ve got their lanterns going.” His tone turned wistful. “I bet they’re drinking hot chocolate, too.”

  Their mom reached out and hugged him tight. “Honey, their house does sound cozy. But still—”

  A loud banging interrupted the conversation.

  Her father opened the door. “Mr. Graber! Hello! Come in!”

  “I came to offer some shelter,” Mr. Graber said. “By the look of things, I doubt the weather will clear for at least another twenty-four hours. We’d be happy to have you join us at our house.”

  Ty scampered to his feet. “Is Anson there?”

  “Jah, of course,” he said with a welcoming grin. “He’s there and Judith and Carrie, and the little ones, too. Only Joshua and Caleb aren’t home. They’re stuck at the store.”

  “Charlie’s there, too,” her mom said.

  “Jah. And Gretta.”

  Something in Mr. Graber’s voice alerted Lilly that maybe he wasn’t so worried about Joshua’s circumstances. No, he sounded almost bemused that the storm had forced Gretta and Joshua to spend a good length of time in each other’s company.

  Lilly wasn’t worried either. Perhaps this storm was what the two of them needed. A forced time alone to work out their problems.

  Her mom smiled. “Frank, I’d love to sit out this storm at your house, if you don’t mind. Thank you.”

  He held up his lantern. “We’ll have a time of it, jah? But have a care now, it’s a long, cold, and icy walk in between our homes.”

  Within ten minutes, all four of them had small bags packed. Lilly had extra socks, her pajamas and robe and her toothbrush and toothpaste. Then she helped Ty get his things together. He had almost the same amount, except he was bringing a favorite book and some of his Hot Wheels.

  Though her parents didn’t say too much, she knew they were grateful for the reprieve from the cold house, too. Yet, she also sensed they were a little apprehensive. Lilly had a feeling they were wishing that they’d put in a little more effort into getting to know their Amish neighbors.

  It was hard living next to someone and not have much of a relationship.

  “Thanks again, Frank,” her dad said as they trooped outside and felt a splattering of icy crystals sting their cheeks. “You have really come to the rescue tonight. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen a coating of ice so thick.”

  Mr. Graber reached out and tapped a nearby branch with his flashlight. The beam illuminated the thick shiny covering, making it seem like they were in a crystal wonderland. “It’s pretty out, but terribly dangerous. Take care with your footing, now.”

  Slipping an arm around Lilly’s shoulders, her dad said, “That’s good advice.” Leaning a little closer, he whispered, “Are you doing all right, Lilly? Are we walking too fast?”

  “I’m okay, Dad.”

  His hand moved from her shoulders to gripping her elbow securely. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll keep a careful hold on you. We don’t want anything to happen to you or the baby.”

  Though they’d already talked through so much, Lilly’s heart warmed as she heard her father’s comforting words. “I’m glad you care.”

  “I do, Lilly. I promise to do better about letting you know how much I do.”

  As they continued on, one by one slipping through the thick hedge that separated their properties, then slowly climbing the hill that led to the Grabers’ home, her father said, “Actually, You’ve been right about a lot of things. Your mom and I thought we were handling things so well, but in actuality, we were simply living in denial. We thought if we didn’t talk about our past—or your pregnancy—if we only thought about your life the way we planned it, it would make everything all better.”

  “But it didn’t.”

  “It didn’t at all. Now we’re all going to begin focusing on the present and on the way things are instead of the way they used to be. Who knows? Maybe we’ll be all able to count our blessings just a little bit easier this way.”

  “I hope so, Dad. I’ve missed how things used to be.”

  Holding out his hand, her dad said, “Me too, honey.”

  Together, they all trooped across the snowy fields, all following Frank Graber’s light to his home.

  As Lilly held her pillow and small overnight case, she couldn’t believe how happy she was—even though the worst ice storm in ages was wreaking havoc on everything they held dear.

  Finally, she felt at peace with herself and with her family. Finally, she knew she was going to be okay, even if her future was going to be far different than she ever imagined.

  When they arrived at the Grabers’ back porch, Mrs. Graber opened the door and shuttled them all in, like a bossy mother goose.

  Lilly was pleased to see her parents greeting Mrs. Graber like an old friend and saying hello to Carrie and Maggie, who’d appeared around the corner.

  After all their coats and snow boots were removed and lined up against the wall, Mrs. Graber guided them into her large hearth room.

  Standing next to Lilly, her mother gasped in pleasure. “Oh, it’s so pretty in here!”

  Indeed it was. A roaring fire cast a welcome heat to the area. Twin lanterns coated the room in a pretty glow. Two cozy-looking quilts were laid out on the pair of couches, the bright pink and purple squares looking festive and joyful.

  Her mother picked up one. “Elsa, this is beautiful,” she exclaimed. “The round-the-world pattern is in the shape of a heart.”

  “Danke. I think it turned out nicely, too. I decided to let the spring shine brightly in here for a bit.”

  In no time at all, Lilly’s dad settled next to the fire beside Mr. Graber. Her mom bustled in the kitchen with Mrs. Graber. Judith came in with Toby and sat down on a braided rug.

  Ty and Anson were playing with Ty’s cars and Anson’s wooden farm animals.

  Carrie and Maggie arrived with armfuls of dolls.

  Things were cozy and happy and felt so homey. So perfect that Lilly hoped they’d get to stay for quite a while.

  Chapter 24

  Cathy Plum got along great with Charlie, Joshua was happy to see. As soon as the stove heated, Charlie brewed coffee with a stovetop percolator and Mrs. Plum took out her knitting and they chatted like they were at a coffee klatch. From what Joshua could gather, Mrs. Plum’s son Arthur knew Charlie’s cousin in Columbus. They kept saying things like “it’s a small world,” which Joshua found amusing. Of course everyone was related to each other in some fashion. It was God’s way.

  Around him, the warm, rich aroma of fresh coffee mingled with the comforting scent of fresh pine. The dim light from the lanterns added a cozy touch, doing much to add to the feeling of security as they waited out the storm.

  Caleb was whittling and eating a couple of sugar cookies.

  Though there was no need—he’d checked not an hour before—Josh mentioned that he was going out to check the horses and make sure everything was fastened down well.

  After a moment, Gretta said, “May I go with you, Joshua?”

  “Of course you can.”

  When she stepped to his side, her soft gray dress fluttering sweetly around her legs, warm feelings suffused him. For once, they were like they used to be. Before the Allens had come and he’d gotten his head mixed up.

  To his surprise, his tongue suddenly felt tied, like he wasn’t used to her. Like she was someone new and he was fearful she’d discourage him.
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br />   Picking up the lantern, Josh turned to her and smiled. “Ready?”

  “Of course.”

  They walked along the dark back hallway toward the stables. Usually the skylights illuminated the area, but because the storm was upon them, the hall looked black as night. Shadows cast designs along the walls as they walked.

  To his right, Gretta shivered.

  His first thought was to curve an arm around her shoulders and offer her comfort. Now that he recognized just how much he loved her, Joshua was anxious to protect her in all ways. From storms…and from any fears, too. “Are you frightened?” he asked.

  “No. Well, a little.” She glanced his way, the light of the lantern highlighting the curve of her cheek, the sparkle in her eye. She was beautiful. His stomach twisted with all he could have lost.

  “I’m so grateful you came to the store to get me, Joshua.”

  “I had to,” he said simply. “There’s no way I could be here if I thought you were in the restaurant all alone. I would have been worried sick.”

  She smiled at him softly. “I’m fine now. I’m thankful you asked Mr. Allen to stop by my home. I’d hate for my parents to be afraid for my safety.”

  “I’d never let anything happen to you,” he said boldly. Then, at her look of surprise, he felt himself flushing. Since when did he boast so much?

  Since she’d become everything to him, he realized.

  By his side, Gretta slowed to a stop. She tilted her head up to his. Eyes solemn, she said, “I know that.”

  His heart thrummed. He swallowed hard, knowing it was time to finally face the future. “Do you think we’ll ever be able to go back to the way things used to be?”

  Around them, the storm continued to pound. The wind whistled through a few patches in the walls. But as the lantern in his hand flickered between them, Joshua felt as if he and Gretta were the only things that existed.

  She flashed a sad smile. “Like how? Like when I thought I was the luckiest girl in the county because you’d taken a liking to me?”

  Her words hurt, mainly because he knew he’d deserved it. “I still like you. I always did. I was just worried. I felt trapped, you know. Not just by what we were. But by this store. By my future. By everything.” Inwardly, he winced at the pain he saw in her eyes. The pain he knew he’d caused with his indecisions, his confusion.

  “And now?”

  “Now I feel trapped, but in a different way. I feel as if I’m locked out of the one place where I know I belong.” Embarrassed by his words, he stepped in front of her, then turned the handle and led them into the stable.

  Immediately, the comforting scents of hay and horses surrounded them. This, he was used to. Horses and hay and stables, he knew how to handle.

  Gretta rubbed her arms. “Oh, it’s far colder out here, isn’t it?”

  “Noisy, too,” he agreed. Each ice crystal that hit the walls echoed through the metal, filling the air with a faint buzz. Jim and Buster were standing side by side and looked nervous.

  Reaching out, he rubbed his horse’s head, right between the ears. “There, now, Jim. It’ll be all right, jah?” Joshua chuckled when Buster nickered a bit and came closer, eager for reassuring pats and attention. “They’re as needy for attention as puppies, aren’t they?”

  “Indeed.” Gretta stepped next to him. When she, too, started petting and talking softly to the horses, Josh looked at her in appreciation. She always did have a way with animals—with anything or anyone in need.

  Josh longed to hug her, to hold Gretta close and tell her how much he appreciated everything about her. But he was afraid he’d spook her. Instead, he kept his voice light. “It’s good we came out here, don’tcha think?”

  “It is.” Grinning, she pulled out two carrots. “I hope you don’t mind, but I pulled these two from your kitchen cellar. I thought the treats might take the horses’ minds off things.”

  “I don’t mind at all.” He stood to one side as she gently fed them each a carrot, the horses munching in obvious pleasure.

  When the horses settled down some and the winds weren’t blowing quite as fierce, Josh took hold of her hand and pulled her closer to the lantern. He wanted to see her face better. He was nervous. He yearned to tell her that he loved her, that he always wanted to be with her.

  But was it too late? He hoped to God that Gretta hadn’t given up on him…that she hadn’t looked elsewhere for love and companionship.

  “So…Gretta, is Roland the one for you?”

  Her eyes widened. “I…I think not.”

  Pure relief ran through him. Though every bit of him yearned to pump a fist in the air and cheer, he said, “Why is that?” He needed to be sure Gretta wouldn’t have any regrets with her decision.

  “Roland, he’s…calm, but he’s too calm. And he doesn’t smile or laugh like you do.”

  “But I thought you wanted someone more calm. Someone who took care to never say anything upsetting.”

  “I thought I would like that. After growing up in a home where frigid silence ruled, I thought perhaps that I would like a calm husband. A man who I would never worry about disappointing. But the strangest thing happened with Roland, if you want to know the truth.”

  “What was that?”

  “I never knew where I stood with him neither.” Eyes shining, she added, “And he was so different from me, Joshua. And so different from you.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “It is. I learned I like many things about you.”

  He couldn’t help it, he laughed.

  “I learned something else, too. I learned that it wasn’t the words and emotions that were bothering me, it was the way my parents dealt with them. I realized that when they disagree, they’d rather argue and stew than to ever try to make things right.”

  Joshua felt sorry for her. He always had. He hardly remembered Beth, but he remembered others speaking of her. Beth was outspoken and bright and always cheery. When she’d died of pneumonia, everyone in the community had been devastated.

  But most of all, her parents. It was like the life that spurred them on had died with their daughter. And no matter that they still had Gretta and Margaret, it wasn’t enough. And most likely would never be.

  Gretta had grown up knowing that. Joshua intended to spend the rest of his life showing her just how worthy and special she was.

  “So, if not Roland, does this mean I still have a chance?”

  “Maybe…if it’s me who you want,” she replied shyly.

  “I do.” He’d never felt more certain of anything.

  She still looked worried. “I’m not just habit?”

  “No. I care about you, Gretta. I like your ways. No, I love your quiet ways. I love how you never mind blending into the background, letting other people shine. I love how giving you are. And, I love how, to me, you shine the best. You are a wonderful woman. I…I am sorry I never told you that before.”

  The smile she gave him was so beautiful he stared at her for a long moment, mesmerized by the happiness and, well, sweetness, he saw shining from inside of her. Oh, but he’d been such a fool.

  “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Joshua. Perhaps we needed this time to understand what we were getting into, you know? Some people need their running around time to sow wild oats. To test the outside world, to test their faith. But we were different, you and I.”

  He knew exactly what she meant. “We never doubted our faith in the Lord, or our place in the community.”

  “No, we didn’t. But that wasn’t enough to make us ready for marriage, was it?” Standing closer, she looked at him with complete trust. Trust that he’d feared he’d never see again. “I think we needed this time to test our faith in each other. To show that we’re more than two people following what’s been expected of us. We’re Gretta and Joshua. Special and unique. And we’ve chosen to be together.”

  He liked how that sounded…but he needed to add just one thing more. “And we love each other,
too. I love you, Gretta.”

  “Oh!” Tears pooled in her eyes as she gazed back at him. Her hands gripped his as he held them. “I love you too, Joshua.”

  Opening up his arms, he gently pulled her into a hug and held her close. His heart melted when she curved her arms around him, too, and rested her head on his chest, offering him her trust.

  As the horses nickered softly in the background and the harsh wind shook their surroundings, Joshua only wanted to hold Gretta.

  He wanted to pretend nothing else existed but the two of them. Nothing else mattered but their confessions of love and forgiveness.

  But Caleb and Charlie and Mrs. Plum were waiting.

  After another long moment, Joshua brushed a kiss across her brow, then backed away. “We’d better get on back, don’t ya think?” he asked, holding out his hand. “There’s no telling what mischief the rest of our group is getting into.”

  She slipped her hand into his. Hope and love shown in her eyes. “You lead the way, Joshua. Lead the way and I’ll follow you. For always. I promise.”

  Pressing a kiss to her knuckles of the hand he held, Josh picked up the lantern and guided his love back to the store.

  Now, forever, they were a couple. As one. Now, forever, she was his.

  Nothing could have made him happier.

  Nothing could have made him more proud.

  Epilogue

  “It is a happy day, Joshua,” Elsa Graber said early on a March morning.

  “One of the best,” Joshua replied. It was a beautiful spring day, he was surrounded by family and friends, and in just a few hours, he was going to be saying his vows to Gretta.

  “Gretta looks like she hung the moon, her smile is so big.”

  “That makes me happy to hear.”

  She fussed with his coat, smoothing out a wrinkle that didn’t exist. “I have to tell ya, I was nervous about this day. I was thinkin’ it might not come. I was worried your head had been turned.”

  “I knew it hadn’t.” When she raised her brow, Joshua chuckled. “I mean, it did turn, but not in the way you feared. I was looking out at the world, wondering why the Lord had brought the Allens to live next to us.”