by Luke Young
“She’s with the Italian guy. He’s got a job, money and he’s tall. Every time I try to have sex, a natural disaster happens. Not to mention that I can’t even get it up anymore. I’m pretty sure she’s not going to choose me over him.”
“I’m going to flick you again.” Nicole glared at him. “Stop with the all negative talk.”
Christie pointed to him. “You’re tall-ish, you’re simply between jobs and Anne doesn’t know you can’t get it up.”
Pausing to let all that sink in, he shrugged. “True.”
“And we’re suspecting that you really can get it up,” Nicole said.
“You might be right, because I’m starting to think about Christie’s ass and I believe it’s growing a little bit.”
“Hey, what about my breasts,” Nicole whined.
“They are perfect. But I’ve always been more of an ass man.”
“Jerk.” Nicole chuckled.
“Okay, I promise no more feeling sorry for myself,” he began. “I’ll go talk to her again.”
“We’ve got it all taken care of,” Nicole said. “We’re all going to dinner tonight.”
“How’d you pull that off?”
“We told her it was your birthday.”
“You didn’t!” Eli rolled his eyes. “My birthday isn’t until January.”
“Who cares? It’s just a little lie. Roll with it,” Christie said.
“All right, but is he coming?”
“Yes, but we figured you could win her over,” Nicole said. “But first I think you need to get some new clothes.”
“What’s wrong with my clothes?” he asked, insulted.
Nicole said, “You wear everything too big. You have a nice body. You should show it off a little more.”
“Now go take a shower and get dressed. We’re going shopping,” Christie said.
Eli smiled, turning his attention to Nicole. “Can I see your breasts one more time just to confirm that they don’t do it for me?”
Shaking their heads, the women shared a laugh as they headed out of the room.
34
After hours of exhaustive shopping with his fashion team, Eli finally returned home with enough approved clothing that the women were satisfied. They held a mini fashion show at the beach house. Eli was forced to try on all the possible outfit combinations of the four shirts and three pairs of pants he’d purchased. He lost count after change number nine. After the girls agreed upon a light blue casual long-sleeved shirt, untucked, of course, and slim-fitting khaki pants, Eli was finally ready. A new pair of leather shoes and a stylish brown leather belt topped off his impressive look.
The women also managed to find new dresses for themselves, which conveniently went on Eli’s charge card as well. He considered it the least he could do for all the recent caretaking, pep talks and matchmaking help they had provided.
When they arrived at the restaurant, the hostess led them toward their table. Eli spotted Anne at the bar and gazed around the room in search of the Italian Stallion, but did not see him. Then he heard a thick accent coming from the back of the restaurant. He discovered Ausonio appearing flustered as he animatedly talked on his cell.
Spotting the young women, Anne slipped off her stool and waved. Cocktail in hand, she headed over wearing a stunning and tight black dress that showed off her runner’s physique.
“Happy birthday!” Anne met them at the table.
“Oh, hey.” Eli forced a smile. “Thank you.”
“How old?”
“I’m thirty-three,” he muttered.
Well, at least that part wasn’t a lie. He was thirty-three and a half-ish.
Eli waited while the women exchanged greetings and hugs as they commented on each other’s outfits. He even pulled out the chair for Nicole and tried to do the same for the other two, but they sat themselves. He joined them at the table, folding his hands in front of him as he ogled the three women before him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in the presence of such beautiful women, ever.”
“Thank you.” Anne blushed.
“Anne, you look stunning in that dress.” He turned his attention to his roommates, clearing his throat. “Sorry, you all do.”
“He told us how good we looked back at the house.” Nicole smiled, patting him on the arm. “He’s such a gentleman.”
“I’ll bet.” Anne took a sip from her glass. “I love that shirt, Eli.”
“Thank you. What are you drinking there?” Eli asked.
“Vodka tonic. My favorite.” Anne spotted her date across the room. “Ausonio will be right over.”
“Great,” Eli began. “Did you get in a run today?”
“No, I was working on the book I’m editing. I’m a little behind.”
The waiter stopped over and took drink orders before scurrying away. Moments later, Ausonio rushed over. “I am so sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. You know Eli.” Anne pointed to the women one by one. “This is Christie and that’s Nicole.”
Ausonio said, “Siete tutte così belle.”
The young women stared at him with their lips parted.
Christie said, “Hello.”
Leaning over the table, he extended his hand to Christie first, held it gently and kissed it before repeating the procedure with Nicole. The girls smiled up at him dreamily then Nicole whispered something into her friend’s ear. Eli looked on, his lips pressed into a firm line.
“Anna, I’m sorry. I must go. There is a problem at one of my spas,” Ausonio began. “I feel good that I am leaving you with your dinner companions. Can I meet you later for a drink?”
“No problem. I understand completely,” Anne replied.
“I will call you later.”
“All right.”
Ausonio leaned forward, taking Anne’s hand into his own and kissed her gently on the knuckles. “Goodbye.”
“Bye.”
Ausonio said, “Christie. Nicole. It was a pleasure to meet you both.”
The women gazed at him mesmerized as he turned and headed away.
“He’s so hot. I would totally sit on his fa—” Nicole shut her mouth when she spotted Eli’s angry stare. “Sorry, I mean, he seems nice.”
“He is.” Anne took a sip from her drink then picked up her menu. “And he works extremely hard.”
“Cool,” Eli grumbled as he picked up his menu.
The waiter returned with their drinks and took their meal selections. Eli pounded his first cocktail quickly and ordered another. The four enjoyed a delicious meal. After some casual conversation, the girls sang Eli’s praises and explained how the three of them had not had sex together once during the trip. They adamantly professed how they were simply only friends.
After the plates were cleared, Anne raised an eyebrow. “So, wait, you never actually…but Christie you told me how you were doing it for hours.”
“What are you talking about?” Christie wrinkled her nose. “You mean at the beach?”
Anne explained, “Yes, you said you guys were doing it in the hot tub and—”
“No.” Christie chuckled, a look of realization washing over her face. “No, I said we were in the hot tub.” She waggled her finger motioning between herself and Nicole. “Eli was sleeping.”
“Oh, my and here I thought.” Anne giggled then took a sip from her drink. “I remember you told me how big it was and I was like…” She glanced at Eli, dipping her gaze lower as if she could see through the table to the area in question before looking to Christie. “Wow, I couldn’t believe you were sharing details like that.”
“Again”—Christie put on a frown—“hot tub.”
Anne laughed aloud.
“Seriously?” Eli raised a hand up, offended.
Anne rolled her eyes. “And I must say I had a hard time believing he was going all night.”
“Hey.” Eli’s jaw dropped open. “I’m right here!”
Anne shot him a smile and turned her attention to the girls. “So if you’
re not…What the hell have you been doing?”
Christie shrugged. “Um, well, there have been a few accidents.”
“What do you mean?” Anne asked.
Nicole said, “We’ve been to the hospital more than once.”
“Oh, no. What happened?”
Christie leaned forward in her chair, smiling. “So, the first time was—”
“Wait.” Eli rose to his feet, grabbing his glass. “I really don’t want to relive all this. I’m going to the bar to get a drink. When I get back, I hope the stories and laughter are all finished.”
“In that case, you better give us some time,” Nicole quipped.
“Okay, just don’t tell her everything.” Eli took a deep breath. “She doesn’t need all the gory details. Give her highlights. Nothing that makes me look too badly or like a giant spaz.”
“We’ll try.” Christie chuckled.
He turned, took a step toward the bar then returned to the table. “Oh, and by the way, just know that I can go all night!”
All three women gazed up at him holding back smiles.
“Well, most of the night anyway.” He lifted one shoulder up, cocking his head. “With, um, maybe a break here and there.”
The three burst into laughter as he headed away.
As Eli sat at the bar, drinking and chatting with the bartender, Christie and Nicole recounted the stories of their misadventures and repeated trips to the hospital. They left out the part of the story where the bathtub was ruined. Since Eli was in the process of fielding quotes on fixing the damage, they didn’t want to get him in trouble. For that event, they simply said he had slipped in the tub and nearly drowned.
Anne took it all in, sipping her drink and gazing at them wide-eyed and shaking her head. After the tales were all told, Anne sighed. “The poor guy.”
“Tell us about it,” Nicole said. “He really is a good guy. He’s been nothing but a gentleman.”
Anne spotted him at the bar and a gentle smile spread over her face. Then suddenly she narrowed her eyes and replaced that smile with a frown. “I mean, it sounds like he wanted to sleep with you both, which sort of makes him not a gentleman in a way.”
“I guess you could look at it that way,” Nicole said.
Christie’s eyes brightened. “I took Psychology last semester and—”
“Really?” Nicole shot her a look.
“What?”
Nicole scoffed. “You barely got a D.”
Christie waved a dismissive hand her way. “Anyway, ever since he saw you he’s been different. Subconsciously, he’s been saving himself for you.”
Anne sipped her drink. “Wait, so you think his brain is sabotaging all efforts to live out this incredible fantasy because he secretly has a thing for me?”
“Exactly,” Christie replied.
Nicole motioned to herself. “I mean, look at us. What guy wouldn’t want to get with us?”
Anne studied her with widened eyes. “You have a point.”
“I even showed him my ass yesterday and he”—Nicole cleared her throat—“let’s just say he wasn’t interested.”
“No, I showed him my ass,” Christie began. “You showed him your boobs, remember?”
Anne watched the exchange, holding back a smile.
“That’s right. Regardless, he and obviously his, you know, only have eyes for one woman at this table and it ain’t us.” Nicole motioned between herself and her friend.
Anne gazed down into her drink, pausing for a moment before looking up toward the bar and Eli. A smile spread across her face. “I think it’s kind of sweet…in a slightly twisted way.”
“But more sweet than twisted, right?” Christie asked.
“Yes,” Anne replied.
Christie turned to Nicole and motioned with a head nod toward the door. Nicole said, “On that note, I think we’ll leave you two alone.”
“Thank you for telling me all this.”
“Sure.” Christie rose to her feet.
The two headed toward the door, waving to Eli and wearing smug grins as they passed the bar. He shot them a smile, picked up his drink and returned to the table.
He sat, putting on a straight face. “I guess they told you everything.”
“They said a lot.”
“I can explain. I—”
“That’s okay.” She chuckled. “I think it’s cute.”
He wrinkled his nose. “You call the near-death accidents and the public humiliation cute?”
She raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “One way or another you sabotaged every opportunity you had for your little threesome. Why is that every man’s fantasy?”
“Uh, well, it’s…” he stammered.
“Don’t bother trying to explain. I guess I get it.” She smiled, then after a moment her expression shifted to a look of concern. “Sorry about the whole thing with your wife.”
“Yes, thank you,” he began. “And sorry about you and Michael.”
“I’m mostly over it.” She paused a moment. “If it’s not too personal of a question, how did you find out about her cheating?”
“No, it’s fine. I wish I had only found out!” He groaned. “I actually caught her. I also had that Global Company working on our pool. You were right to be concerned about those guys. I don’t know if it’s some company policy or…”
“Jesus. What happened?”
After gazing around the room to see if anyone was listening, he leaned forward. “I found her with two of their guys doing, um, let’s just say things that we never did.”
“Like what?”
“You really want to know?”
“I do,” she replied with her eyes wide.
“You know their slogan ‘We go around the world’, well they really, really mean it.” He shot her a knowing look. “Like literally.”
Anne looked at him perplexed then suddenly her eyes narrowed, and the realization smacked her across the face. “Oh, is that what they call it? How humiliating. I mean for you.”
“Yeah, and that book you saw in the house.”
“What book?”
“That book.” He rounded his eyes, waiting.
Her eyes glazed over for a moment until it hit her. “Oh, the book.”
“Well, um, that was mine. My wife seemed to be using it, I guess as a reference manual that day.” He cocked his head. “I took it for some reason and still have it.”
Anne took a sip from her glass then she scrunched her face up. “Michael was never interested in trying that.”
“I guess I was simply trying to put a spark back in our relationship.”
Anne laughed. “I’m not sure how drunk I’d have to be before I tried that.”
“So another round. Waiter?” Eli put his hand in the air, making a show of casually searching for the waiter. After a moment, he looked back to her wearing a wide grin.
“You know, I’ve only just recently started dating again”—she chuckled—“but I’m pretty sure it’s not a good idea to bring up this topic on a first date.”
“You asked.” He pointed a finger at her, playfully.
“That’s true.”
They shared a laugh then he said, “You want to get out of here and maybe take a walk?”
“Absolutely.”
35
Eli paid the check and as they walked toward Anne’s hotel, he glanced to her. “You know, I wouldn’t really call this our first date. It’s more like our third.”
“Really.” She looked at him as if he was out of his mind. “I must have missed our first two.”
“No, come on. Our first date was when I walked in on you in the shower.”
“Okay.” She held back a laugh. “And our second?”
“Of course, that would be when you helped me cook for the girls.”
“Hmm.” She rubbed her chin. “There are so many things wrong with your logic that I don’t even know where to begin.”
“All right. If you don’t want to admit that there is an a
ttraction here, that’s fine with me. Just, um—”
“I’m not saying that,” she interrupted. “I just don’t think you can call walking in on me while I’m taking a shower a date necessarily.”
“Maybe you have a point.”
They shared a laugh and his fingers brushed against hers as they stopped in front of the hotel.
“This is me.” She took a half step closer to him and smiled, gazing into his eyes. “Thanks for walking me back.”
“Sure.”
The wind off the Gulf of Mexico kicked up a bit and she shivered. “It’s a little cold out here.”
“It is.”
“You want to sit in the lobby and get a coffee or something?”
“That would be nice.”
They made their way inside the hotel and he returned with two coffees. He handed hers over and sat down beside her on the sofa. They both gazed out the window toward the beach.
He took a sip. “I think we should see each other again. Maybe next time, I won’t bring along my other girlfriends.”
She chuckled, placing a hand on his arm. “I could imagine how some women might find that to be a roadblock.”
“Not all, but some,” he said in a casual tone then broke into a grin. “But seriously, we’re really perfect for each other for a lot of reasons.”
“Oh yeah. How so?” She humored him with a smile.
“Well, we both caught our partners cheating.”
She nodded.
After pausing a moment touching his chin, he added, “We’ve both been permanently and emotionally damaged by Michael.”
“We have been,” she agreed with a smirk.
His eyes lit up. “Plus think about our ‘How did you two meet’ story. People always ask that, right? And it’s very important to have a good story.”
“Okay.” She narrowed her eyes. “And what’s ours exactly, again?”
“How many couples can say the first time they met they were both naked? One in the shower while the other guilty of a class B felony. Huh, how many?”
“I don’t know.” She giggled. “Maybe only couples who’ve met in prison?”
“Funny. But seriously, we should give this a try.”
She gazed out the window at the Gulf. “I guess we should…that or I should take out a restraining order on you.”
