by Luke Young
“I’d avoid the restraining order.” He smirked. “That’s a ton of paperwork.”
“You know this from experience?” she asked, the corner of her mouth curling up into a smile.
“No, I’m only guessing.” He sipped from his cup then turned to look her in the eye. “Is it serious with Auston…io?”
“It’s Ausonio, but no.” She shook her head. “He’s nice, but…”
“So you’re not sleeping with him?”
“No, we’ve only been out a few times.”
“Good.” He turned toward the window, lounging against the back of the sofa. “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a while.”
She held her coffee with two hands and sighed. “The girls told me about what happened in the convenience store.”
“Yeah, that was a weird day.” He nodded wearing a serious expression. Suddenly it melted away, replaced by a grin. “Now, I pretty much just use that story for picking up chicks.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yep, and it’s working great.” He raked his fingers through his hair and let out a half-laugh.
Anne giggled and turned toward him. She looked at him, the concern etched in her expression. “You could have died.”
He opened his mouth to speak, paused a moment thinking then finally began, “But it actually was good for me, sort of.”
“Really?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t giving things my all—the marriage and the job. I’ve never had to work too hard to do fairly well at anything. Not great, but you know what I’m saying.”
“I do.”
He exhaled deeply, cocking his head. “I’ve always been scared to really give everything I had to something. Like if I failed, then I’d have nothing to blame it on, you know?”
“I think I know what you mean. Like sometimes I feel like I’m sleepwalking through life.”
“Yes, I think I’ve been in touch with that emotion too.”
She lounged back. After a few moments, they turned to look at one another, and shared a subtle smile.
Eli said, “It’s woken me up. This whole thing. All of it has given me new opportunities.”
She chuckled. “Like repeated trips to the hospital with women half your age?”
“Not half exactly, but yeah.” Pressing his lips together, he gave her a confident nod. “There’s that and meeting you.”
He leaned in closer, his eyes searching hers. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“No,” she whispered with her lips parted.
“Anna, there you are,” Ausonio called out as he headed toward them.
Eli pulled back and Anne looked up as Ausonio stepped to her carrying a bag.
“Ausonio.” Anne forced a smile.
“Anna, sorry I’m late. I brought you that lemon verbena shampoo that you like so much.” He held the bag up.
“Thank you.”
“It’s such a beautiful night. We should walk to the club.” Ausonio stared into her eyes. “Sei piu’ bella di le stelle e la luna.”
Eli made a face. “What was that?”
Ausonio motioned out the window toward the sky. “I was saying how Anna looks beautiful like the stars and moon.”
Anne shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She glanced at Eli before returning her attention to Ausonio. “Thank you, but—”
“I also got you this.” Ausonio took a half step closer to Eli and turned, the bag swung around knocking into Eli’s uncovered coffee, spilling it all over his shirt and pants.
Eli jumped back startled and glared up at the Italian masseuse from hell. “Crap.”
“I am so sorry,” Ausonio said his lips curled up into the slightest of grins.
Eli rose to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”
Gazing at the dark spill in his reflection in bathroom mirror, Eli frowned. He grabbed paper towels and blotted the stain.
Suddenly, the door burst open and Ausonio rushed to him, barking, “Stay away from her!”
“What?” Eli glared at him as if he was out of his mind.
“I said, stay away from her.” Ausonio jabbed a finger into Eli’s chest. “She’s mine.”
“Yours? You just started dating her.” Eli scoffed, pushing the Italian jerk away. “Back off.”
“I’m serious. Go home to your little girlfriends.”
“Why don’t you go tell her she’s yours.” Eli took an angry step toward Ausonio, thrusting a finger in his face. “Yeah, go tell her that you, big Italian doofus.”
“What is this word doofus?” Ausonio screwed his face up.
“It means you’re an asshole you…you…giant asshole,” Eli snapped. “And you know, I’m not taking shit from anyone anymore, so if you think you’re going to push me around you better bring your A game.”
“I am not a doofus.”
“To me you are.” Eli shot him a pointed look. “This isn’t Italy. I don’t know what they teach you assholes over there, but women aren’t property.”
“Stay away from her!”
“Whatever, dude.” Eli lifted his chin. “I’m serious, go tell her she’s yours and see what she says.”
“I will.” Ausonio sneered and headed for the door.
After cleaning up as much as he could, Eli came back to the lobby and could not find Anne. He glanced toward the front desk then spotted the couple standing outside on the patio that overlooked the Gulf of Mexico. He headed toward them, stopping in his tracks when he saw Ausonio and Anne locked in a kiss. Anne brought her hand up to Ausonio’s chest.
“Wow, she is his.” Eli scowled as he quickly turned and headed out of the hotel.
36
Beer in hand, Eli walked through the beach house to the patio and slumped down in a chaise lounge, sulking. He spotted Christie and Nicole in the pool, took a pull from the bottle then raised it up. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were out here. You want one?”
“We already have.” Christie pointed to their bottles sitting at the edge of the pool. “You’re back already?”
He grunted and tipped back his beer. Something caught his eye on the table next to him. He picked it up and studied the tiny spiked collar and leash curiously. Holding it up, he asked. “What the hell’s this?”
Nicole replied, “A gift for Savannah’s dog. Isn’t it cute?”
“Eh.” He shrugged, disinterested and put it down.
Christie moved to the edge of the pool and beamed. “Are you going to tell us what happened?”
Shaking his head in an animated fashion, Eli waved his hand around and said in an over-the-top Italian accent, “Blah, Bella Bella blah, blah, blah.” He pointed up at the moon distorting his face as he belted out, “Luna a la luna.”
Nicole shared a smile with her swim partner then giggled. “What?”
Eli exhaled, rolling his eyes. “Everything was going great until he came back.”
“Who? Ausonio?” Nicole moved to the edge of the pool next to Christie.
“Yes, the Italian ass!”
Christie motioned with her hand for him to share a little more. “So he came back and…”
He said, “We were at the hotel having a cup of coffee and ass came back speaking this Italian crap about the moon or something.”
“What happened to your shirt?” Nicole asked.
Eli looked down at it. “Oh yeah, he knocked into it and spilled my coffee all over the place. I leave for one minute to clean up and when I came back he’s practically giving her a full body massage with his tongue.”
“That’s too bad.” Christie gave him a sorrowful look.
“So she’s really into him, huh?” Nicole cocked her head.
“Evidently.” He sneered then gulped his beer. Nicole reached out of the pool to grab her bottle. Upon seeing a whole lot of skin and a possible nip slip, he craned his neck up, widening his eyes. “Are you two naked in there?”
Nicole said, “We’ve always wanted to skinny dip.”
“Cool,” he
grumbled, preoccupied. “He’s just so slimy and the clothes, I mean, all of it. Yuck. What could anyone see in that guy?”
“Well, he’s tall, gorgeous and that accent. Not to mention those magic hands.” Nicole took a sip from the bottle before making a face. “I don’t get it either.”
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”
“I am.” Nicole began. “Just being a little realistic. He’s definitely some competition.”
“Oh, and I didn’t tell you that he tried to muscle me in the bathroom. Told me to stay away from her. He said she was his property or something.”
“That’s not cool,” Nicole said.
“Anne must think it’s okay. Maybe she’s one of those submissive types. Hell, maybe she read Fifty Shades and was mesmerized by it.” Eli polished off the rest of his beer then placed it on the table.
“That sucks, but there isn’t anything you can do about it tonight.” Christie motioned for him. “Why don’t you come in? The water feels amazing.”
“I don’t want to.” He folded his arms over his chest.
“Come on,” Nicole whined. “You’re no fun.”
Scowling, he took a deep breath. “Sorry, but I’m just not in the mood to swim naked with you two.”
“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Christie rose out of the water exposing her breasts.
His eyes popped out of his head. “Sorry, I must have had a minor brain aneurism there, but I think I’ve recovered now.” A smile crept across his face as he rose to his feet. “I’m coming in.”
“That’s more like it,” Nicole said.
He quickly stripped out of his shoes and clothing. He ran to the edge of the pool and jumped over them, cupping his balls with one hand, tucking in a modified cannonball position into the water.
The three tipsy swimmers played in the pool, splashing, laughing and fooling around. Nicole dunked him under and when he popped back up, he spit out a mouth full of water, coughed then grinned at her. “Okay, so, we’re going to play it that way. Look out.”
She tried to swim away, but he grabbed her by the leg and pulled her toward him. With one arm around Nicole’s shoulder, he wrapped the other around Christie and tried to pull them both under. The women giggled and pushed against him fighting to break free.
“So this is where you disappeared to!” Anne boomed as she stood beside the pool, glaring down at him.
All three froze and they looked up at Anne, the girls fighting back their smiles. Relaxing his grip, Eli let them go and gazed up at her frowning. “I disappeared? You went off with your boyfriend.”
Christie and Nicole backed away from him self-consciously folding their arms over their chests.
Ignoring his comment, Anne’s eyes widened. “Are you…? Are you all naked?”
“Yeah, we’re just taking a swim,” Eli replied, defensively.
Shaking her head, Anne shot him a sickened look. “It’s all a lie isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“You are having sex with them!” Anne gasped. “Geez! How could you not be? You’d have to be a complete idiot not to. Just look at them.” She pointed to herself. “I must be the idiot here.”
“You’ve got it all wrong.” Eli lifted his hands out of the water, pleading.
“Yeah, right!” Anne turned and headed toward the house.
“Wait,” Eli called after her.
She stomped away then stopped in her tracks at the table, picking up the small dog collar. Turning back to him, she wore a horrified expression. “And…and…you’re into bondage! I don’t even want to know what this goes around.”
“It’s for Tinkerbell,” Eli replied.
“That’s what you call IT!” Anne’s jaw dropped open. “Jesus! Tinkerbell?”
“What?” Eli shook his head confused. “No. No, it’s for Savannah’s dog.”
Grimacing, Anne dropped the collar. “Uh-huh.”
“Would you wait a second?” Eli pushed himself up on the edge of the pool, remembered his nakedness and thought better of it, slipping back into the water.
“Yes, why don’t you stay in there”—Anne pointed at him—“with your little naked girlfriends.”
“No, you don’t understand,” Eli pleaded.
“All right, explain it to me. You’re not having sex with them. You’re just skinny dipping with them and”—she made quote marks with her fingers—“frolicking around the pool.” She placed her hands on her hips. “Is that what I’m supposed to believe?”
“Hey, after I left you with your Italian masseuse,” he began, his words dripping with contempt. “I found them here. They’re free spirits, so they were naked. They convinced me—”
“I’ll bet it took a lot of convincing.” Anne jeered. “You’re exactly like my prick of an ex-husband, except he only worked with one girl at a time.” She cocked her head. “Well, I think he only had one girl at a time.”
“What’d you want me to do?” Eli shot back angrily. “After Ass Holio spilled coffee all over me, I come back to find you with your tongue down his throat. You were really going at it.”
Christie giggled. “Ass Holio.”
Anne shot her a look that could kill.
“Sorry.” Christie turned away blushingly.
“He kissed me!” Anne returned her attention to Eli, taking a few steps closer to the water. “Did you happen to see me slap him?”
“What?” Eli’s angry expression melted away. “No.”
“And to think I actually believed all those stupid stories about the hospital and you almost drowning.” Anne exhaled sharply. “You must think I’m stupid.”
Nicole said, “It’s true. Nothing was going—”
“Just shut it, Perky Tits.” Putting her hand up, Anne sneered.
“You’re being ridiculous,” Eli said.
“I’m being…” Anne scoffed. “I find you and the playmates naked in the grotto and I’m the one who’s being ridiculous?”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Eli let out a humorless laugh, raising his eyebrows and motioning between himself and his two girlfriends. “We’ve been going at it all week. All week! Every night’s been one big, giant orgy. This is just how I roll, baby.”
Anne glared at him. After pausing for a moment, she turned on her heels and headed away.
Eli called after her, “Come on. I was kidding.”
Anne turned back to him. “I think you’re the Ass Holio!”
He ran his fingers through his hair as he watched her slip away through the gate.
37
Anne had a little trouble sleeping that night as thoughts of Ausonio and the lying sack of shit, Eli monopolized her brain. What she didn’t tell Eli was that prior to Ausonio kissing her out on the patio, he took hold of her arm and dragged her out there to talk. The Italian masseuse chastised her for getting too close to Eli. He told her that she was his property and that she should have no contact with any other men now that they were together. When she informed him that they were not together, he grabbed and forced that kiss on her. She never wanted to see him again and was glad she got that slap in before slipping away.
At some point after 3:00 a.m. she fell asleep. When she awoke at nearly eleven, she felt like crap. She was tired and cranky. She headed down to the lobby for breakfast and the front desk clerk called her over. “Miss Martin something came for you.”
She headed to the desk and the clerk turned to retrieve a beautiful vase filled with two dozen pink roses. He placed it before her on the counter. She took the card and read:
Anne,
I’m sorry for the misunderstanding and how I handled things yesterday. I know it seems hard to believe, but I’m nothing like Michael. Please let me explain.
Eli
“Could you do me a big favor and throw these away?” Anne slid the vase toward the clerk.
“Sure Miss Martin.” The clerk nodded as Anne turned and headed away.
Anne lounged around the hotel all day continuing to e
dit the manuscript. The next morning, she decided she needed a run. After putting on her running gear, she headed out to the path. As she began to stretch right outside the hotel, she spotted Eli waiting on the bench, gazing out to the Gulf; the same bench they sat on when they met for their first run together. When he turned toward the hotel, she slipped behind a palm tree out of view. Glancing around the trunk, she discovered he was facing away so she headed around the pool down some stairs and through an alley until she reached the path.
She started to jog and when she was about one hundred yards away, she looked back over her shoulder. He was standing on the path, holding something with a bright-red bow. She stopped and turned to him. He held the object up, but she couldn’t make out what it was. She turned and headed away.
After a short run, she turned and walked back toward the hotel. When she was close enough to see that he wasn’t waiting for her on the bench, she was torn between feeling relieved and sorry that she’d missed him.
Moving closer, she spotted the item Eli had been holding lying on the bench. Picking it up, she looked around in search of him and he was nowhere to be found. She sat and studied the unusually shaped gift-wrapped package.
She untied the bow then tore the paper off to reveal a whisk. It was very similar to the one Eli had burned up that day when he was preparing dinner. Except this one was red. She turned toward the Gulf, watching the waves crash along the shore.
38
A few blocks away, Eli and Nicole sat on the sofa while Christie curled up on the chair studying the back cover of the Anal Sex for Idiots book. The women’s luggage stood nearby.
“Huh.” Christie narrowed her eyes before looking up wearing an enlightened expression.
Nicole groaned. “Please don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t share anything else from that book.”
“I wasn’t going to.” Christie sneered.
“Good.”
“It’s not from the book exactly,” Christie began. “Did you see some of these other titles, they have Bondage for Idiots, Felching for Idiots, Fisting for—”
“That’s it!” Eli sprang to his feet, raising his eyebrows and holding out his hand for the book.
