To Fall in Love Again

by David Burnett

  ***

  It was not until late afternoon that she saw Drew. She’d peeked through the window of a small bookstore on King Street as she headed toward one of the antique stores in the area, and noticed a display with several of Di’s books.

  She went in to look and was several pages into Di’s last novel when she’d spotted a vacant chair. Amy took two steps toward it, and she bumped into Drew. He’d been standing with his back to her. She stumbled, and was falling toward the hardwood floor, when Drew spun around and caught her.

  As he helped her stand, she saw that Drew was with his family—and a woman she did not recognize. Lucas grinned and waved.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you all right?”

  Drew looked like he almost smiled, but held back. “No harm done. Are you hurt?”

  “Just my pride.”

  Amy brushed at some imaginary lint on her sleeve, while Drew shuffled side to side on his feet, his eyes refusing to meet hers directly.

  Finally, he spoke, addressing the elephant in the room. “Uh, Amy, this is Rachel Noble. You know her sister, Rebecca, I believe.”

  So this is Rachel.

  Amy cleared her throat before replying. “Yes, Rebecca and I are members of a book club. It’s nice to meet you, Rachel.”

  There was another awkward silence, while Drew’s eyes roamed around the store. When his gaze returned to her, Amy darted hers toward the floor.

  “Well, we need to be going,” Drew finally said. “Good-bye, Amy.”

  No one else spoke as Drew and his family walked away, although she thought she heard Lucas call good-bye as the door closed behind them. Amy lingered at the window, watching them go.

  Rachel? That’s Rachel? Amy was rather surprised. Her hair had streaks of gray, and she wore it in a matronly bun…on a Saturday afternoon. And she was pudgy. She definitely needed to join a gym.

  She was the one spending the night with Drew?

  Amy stared at her as the group walked away. He met Rebecca’s sister online? Did that even make sense?

  She lost sight of Rachel as the group turned the corner. She strode over and placed the book back on the display then headed toward her car.

  “Must be Rebecca’s older sister,” she mumbled under her breath.

  ***

  “Drew, I’m happy I ran into you today.”

  They had stopped in front of a small hotel on Meeting Street. Piano music drifted from a courtyard to their left, and the sounds of voices and laughter mingled with the music.

  “Rebecca is meeting me here for high tea. It’s her birthday and her husband is out of town.” Rachel looked around at the crowded sidewalk. “I do miss the city sometimes, the stores, the restaurants. And the coffee shop.” She laughed. “I was excited when I saw all of you through the window.”

  “Email me again, and come by to see me next time you’re in town.” Drew kissed her cheek. “We’ll go to dinner again.”

  Rachel took a seat in the courtyard to await her sister, and Drew and his family continued walking toward his house.

  “I saw Amy at the water park,” Lucas announced. “I showed her how I ride my bicycle.”

  “I’ll bet you did.” Drew tousled his hair.

  “I tried to stop him,” Jennifer murmured. “But he pulled away and was gone. You know how he is.”

  “Reminds me of his mother.” Drew chuckled.

  “When can Amy come visit again?” Lucas tugged at Drew’s sleeve. “I want her to read books to me and Sarah.”

  Drew dashed his gaze to the ground and sighed.

  “Amy can’t come over right now, sweetie. Maybe another time.” Jennifer took Lucas’s hand to cross the street. “Look, here comes a horse and carriage.”

  He stared at the horse as the carriage clattered past. “Amy said she would take me for a ride in a carriage sometime.” He looked behind them. “Can she take me today? I can find her…”

  “Not today, Lucas.” Jennifer knelt beside him. “Listen…Lucas, Amy and your grandfather used to be really good friends, but they aren’t anymore. It’s…sort of like you and Eddie. You used to be really good friends, remember, and then—”

  “He hit me and took Jake the Pirate away.”

  Drew had stopped to wait on them while Sarah and her father walked ahead. Lucas looked up at him. “What did Amy do, Grandfather? Did she hit you or take your toys? Was she mean to you?”

  “Sometimes people just stop being friends,” Drew told him. “Nothing really happens. They just aren’t friends any longer.”

  “But I thought you were going to marry Amy. She was going to my new grandmother and read to me and play with me, and—”

  “Lucas. What made you think that?” Jennifer turned him toward her where she knelt on the sidewalk beside him.

  “You said so, Mom. After we had lunch with Amy. You said Grandfather would be dumb not to marry her, and he’s not dumb. I told Amy—”

  “You told Amy what I said?”

  “Yes, when I called to say good-bye.”

  Drew rubbed Lucas’s head. “You liked her very much.”

  He nodded.

  “Sometimes, Lucas, when bad things happen, people say things they may not mean to say, but there is no way to take the words back. Do you understand? It can be hard to stay friends after that happens.”

  “Oh.” Lucas was quiet for a moment, scuffling his shoes on the pavement and biting down on his bottom lip. Then he shot his gaze up to Drew. “Will you read me a story when we get to your house?”

  “I surely will.”

  “Good.” He skipped down the sidewalk, catching up with his father and Sarah.

  Drew extended his hand to help Jennifer up from her crouched position.

  She put her hand on his arm. “I’d say you were overly kind, Dad. Amy most certainly was mean to you.”

  Drew sighed. “I’m not sure she meant to be, but yes, she was.” He shrugged. “It was for the best, though. Better to find out what a person is really like sooner, rather than later.

  ***

  She was chubby, and plain, and…and…old, but I was jealous.

  Amy sat in front of the television, later that evening, idly flipping channels. She’d seen Drew with another woman, and she was jealous. She punched the throw pillow beside her on the sofa. “I’m younger than she is. I’m prettier than she is. I’ll bet I kiss better than she does, too. If he’d give me the chance, I’d…”

  She pictured the woman. “Rachel Noble. Rebecca’s older sister.” She frowned. “How would they still have the same last name?” She thought for a moment. Was she a spinster? She certainly looked like one. Amy shook her head. It didn’t matter. She knew Rebecca, and she knew that Rebeca had grown up with money—that’s what these people cared about. She recalled the BMW in the driveway.

  Her sister was one of them. Just like Drew. Maybe she and Drew would be happy. At least they were playing on the same side of the game.

  She pushed the OFF button on the remote. “Silly programs,” she said aloud. “All of them. They make love seem so simple.” She wiped away a stray tear that was winding its way down her cheek. “So simple.”

  The telephone rang, and she jumped, frowning as she saw Drew’s face and number appear on the screen. Should she answer? She wasn’t sure, but she caught the call on the last ring anyway.

  “Drew?”

  “Amy, it’s Bubba.”

  His voice was so quiet that Amy could hardly hear him.

  “Lucas, does your grandfather know that you are calling me?”

  “No, Amy. I’m on the porch. I have to be quiet, so I’m whispering.”

  “Lucas, we need to hang up. You shouldn’t be using your grandfather’s phone without his permission.”

  “He knows that I have his phone. He has really cool games on it. I think he has them just for me, ’cause I don’t think he would like most of them.”

  Amy chuckled. “But you’re not playing games, Lucas.
”

  “No. It’s not always about games…Amy? You need tell Grandfather that you’re sorry.”

  “What?”

  “You need to tell him you’re sorry. Mom said that you were mean to Grandfather. That’s why you can’t come over to read to me. But if you tell him, then everything will be all right.”

  “Lucas, it’s not that simple.”

  “Yes, it is. It’s like what my mom tells me to do. Eddie took Jake the Pirate away from me, but if he apologizes, then we can be friends again.”

  “It’s more complicated than that…Lucas, how did you get my number?”

  “It’s on speed dial. That means that Grandfather still likes you, Amy.”

  “It does?”

  “Yes. Mom told me that speed dial is for your best friends’ numbers, so you can call them quickly.”

  “Lucas?” It was Drew’s voice. “Lucas, are you out here in the dark? What are you doing?”

  “Talking to Amy.”

  “You called Amy?”

  “I want her to ’pologize to you so we can all be friends again. I want her to say she’s sorry. Here, Grandfather. Talk to her.”

  Amy could imagine that Lucas was holding Drew’s cell phone out to him, wearing a matter-of-fact expression on his face. Life was so much simpler when you were five.

  “Say good-bye, Lucas.”

  “But—”

  “No. She can call me if she wants to. Say good-bye.”

  “Amy, I’ve got to go.” Lucas’s voice sounded sad. “Call Grandfather, okay? Bye, Amy.”

  “Bye, Bubba.”

  Amy sat, staring at the blank television screen for several minutes, hoping to hear the phone ring, to see Drew’s face, to talk to him.

  Her head seemed to spin, her thoughts a jumble. She loved Drew, and she hated Rachel Noble for keeping him from her, but still, she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him—which wasn’t far. She wanted to be with him forever and she wanted him to leave her alone. She was angry. She was sad.

  Finally, she pushed herself up and headed to bed. “Children,” she sighed. “Why can’t life stay that simple?”

  Coffee Shop

  Drew dropped the sheet of paper onto his desk, leaned back in his chair, and rubbed his eyes. He had read the report four times and remembered very little of what he had read.

  The clock in the hall struck three. Jennifer and her family had pulled out about an hour earlier, and Drew had come upstairs. On Friday, Cathy had handed him the data analysis for the project on which they had been working. He wanted to make notes so that he could discuss the analysis with Jody in the morning.

  He glanced out of the window and spied a young couple with two children, one holding her mother’s hand, the other in a carrier on her father’s back, as they made their way along the uneven sidewalk. While he watched, they stopped to peek into the garden across the street. Drew had looked through the gate a few days earlier, and he knew that early blooming flowers—he didn’t know their names—were up and showing color.

  Two years before, Di’s spring garden would have attracted the same kind of attention, but gardening was not one of Drew’s interests. Very few things were these days.

  The couple moved on, and he glanced back at Cathy’s data report. Why is it so long? Looking closely, he realized that, rather than simply giving him numbers, results of various statistical tests, she had included an interpretation of each result and had even indicated how their data compared to that in other, published research. She had practically written the last section of the report.

  He recalled how excited she had seemed on Friday when she had handed him the data. He’d thanked her, but he had not paid any attention to the contents, just slipping the folder into his briefcase. He would have to compliment her work on Monday.

  His attention drifted again and he stared through the window as several other groups ambled down the street, some of them stopping to look through the gate and point at the flowers.

  He gazed back at the report and sighed. “Maybe a walk will help.”

  Drew stepped onto the porch and breathed in the cool air. “Warm one day, cold the next,” he said. “It will still be frigid at the cabin.”

  As he walked down the street, he pictured the cabin in the snow. Once he and Di had been at the cabin at this time of year and an unexpected storm had dumped eight inches of snow. Di had been unwilling to walk down the steep path to the Martins’ store beside the lake, where they would have found the year-round crowd gathering to drink coffee and swap stories, so they had stayed in the cabin, alone. It had been eerily quiet. They had seen no one, heard no one, for two days. Drew had felt as if he were in a cocoon, isolated and protected from the world.

  He paused now as he reached the rail overlooking the harbor. He would give so much to be in that cocoon now.

  The harbor was crowded with boats. Drew stood for some time watching them skim across the water, turning their sails to catch the breeze. All it took was yesterday’s warm weather to bring them out in force. He had never had a sailboat, just a small fishing boat that he mainly used for trolling the marsh, hunting for subjects to photograph. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine what it would be like to sail, and for several moments he was skimming across the water toward the fort.

  As he opened his eyes, one boat sailed slowly along the Battery. A woman in the boat waved. She reminded him of Amy’s friend, Barb, but he doubted that a friend of Amy’s would be trying to attract his attention. He lifted his hand in return, though, giving a short wave.

  He walked along the Battery for almost half an hour before heading home, then upon returning to the house, he climbed the stairs to his office. Sitting at his desk, he picked up the data report again and forced himself to concentrate on what Cathy had written.

  “This is good,” he mumbled aloud. “Add a few transitions to the text and she has practically completed the report. There is really nothing for me to do.”

  He leaned back and smiled.

  ***

  The next morning, Drew arrived early at school, something he had seldom done in the last couple of months. He knocked on Jody’s office door.

  “Come on in, Dr. Nelson.” Jody’s cheerful voice carried down the hall. “What brings you out so early this morning?”

  “Class, perhaps?” Drew handed Jody the report. “Unlike you, I am teaching this semester.”

  Jody laughed as he reached for it. “What’s this?”

  “Cathy’s data report. She’s basically written the results section and most of the conclusions. It needs a final edit and some loose ends tied up. As senior author,” Drew smiled, “that’s your assignment.”

  “Now wait.” Jody scanned the data report, tugging at is lower lip as he turned the pages. Drew smiled, recognizing Jody’s gesture as a tell that he was deep in concentration.

  Taking off his glasses, Jody looked up. “You’re right. She has done your work for you. This is not fair, at all.”

  “Not fair, but true. Here’s what I think. Let her finish it. I’ll read the final report and make comments. Brilliant, incisive comments.” He smiled. “Give it my blessing. The two of you can present the paper in June. List Cathy as the second author, me as third.”

  “And you’ll do what? Sit at the podium and smile?”

  “I’ll be in the mountains, Jody. I don’t need another convention.”

  Jody placed his elbow on the desk and rested his chin in his hand. “You’re depressed.”

  “I’m not depressed.”

  “Of course you are. You drag around, you never smile, never talk. I was surprised to see you because you only come in when you have a class.” His eyes opened wide. “Since late January. Since…”

  Drew sighed. “Did I tell you that I ran into her a couple of weeks ago?” He described meeting Amy in the bookstore on King Street. “Lucas had talked to her earlier in the day at the waterpark. He didn’t understand why she could not come to his house any longer.”

 
; “What did you tell him?”

  Drew shrugged. “Something about how people will hurt each other’s feelings and no longer be friends.”

  “And what did he say?”

  “He understood. But…” Drew stared at Jody’s desk. “Later, after supper, I found him on the porch with my cell phone. He had called Amy to ask her to apologize to me so that we could be friends again.”

  “Smart boy.”

  Drew did not reply at first. He looked up at Jody, tears stinging his eyes. “Why can’t she apologize?”

  Jody tipped his head to one side. “Why can’t you?”

  Drew knew that one person was seldom solely to blame for an argument. “Perhaps I should.” He thought for a moment. “But what would I say? I’m sorry that you believe that I’m an evil, untrustworthy, unlovable snob? That’s what she seems to think. I am very sorry that she does, but it’s true.”

  “That’s an accusation, not an apology.”

  “I know,” Drew shook his head, “but there is nothing. I can think of nothing that I’ve done, nothing for which I can apologize.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “Saturday night, after I finished Cathy’s report, I found myself walking through the house, turning on the lights, looking in each room. It was pristine, I thought. Nothing out of place.”

  Jody didn’t respond.

  “I leaned against the front door, surveying the family room. Pristine was not right. It was more like sterile. And empty.”

  “And you say you’re not depressed?”

  “Jody, two generations ago, there were seven people living under that roof. When Matthew and Jennifer were small, there were four. Now, I’m alone.”

  He stood and walked to the window, looking out at the courtyard. “I considered retirement last year, after Di died. I gave myself a year to make a decision.” He turned to face Jody. “That year is over. Maybe it’s time to pack up and leave.” Drew turned to go.

  “It was a bad idea last year, Drew. It still is.”