“Wait,” I say, laughing. “Don’t go. I’m only teasing. C’mon,” I plead, but she ignores me. “Kate!” I yell, chasing after her down the hall. “I want to help you cross off another number on your list.”
She spins around and studies me, looking to see if I’m just messing with her again, but I’m completely sincere.
“What else is on your list?”
“If I tell you, you can’t chicken out.”
I put my hands up in surrender. “I’d never.”
Her body relaxes, finally. “Fine. I have two we could do.”
My eyes light up, pleased that she’s finally on board with me. “Great, let’s do it!”
“You don’t even know what they are yet.”
“If they’re anything like your other ones, we’ll be fly fishing on top of the Empire State Building and making a house of cards out of singing birds.”
She laughs finally, for the first time today. “Close, but no. I’ve always wanted to sing karaoke and try sushi.”
I stare at her, wondering how this girl could have lived such a sheltered life.
“They’re lame, I know,” she says softly, lowering her eyes.
I tilt her chin back up so I can see her face. “They’re not lame at all. Sounds fun. Let’s do it.”
Her lips spread into a pleased smile. “Okay.”
Kate
“So how is it you’ve never sung karaoke before? Isn’t it like a college girl’s drunk right of passage or something?” Gabe asks as we start our drive. “And how have you lived on the east coast and never tried sushi?”
“I didn’t do the whole college thing,” I admit. “Plus, who wants to eat sushi alone? I mean, who’d hold my hair when I threw it all up?” I laugh, finding it much more comfortable to talk to him now that all the tension seems to be gone.
“Well, that’s why you get drunk,” he says, turning to face me with a cheeky grin. “Drunk encouragement.”
We both laugh, falling into easy conversation as he drives us to a local bar. “Do you think you’re going to get me drunk at ten a.m.?”
“If I said yes, will you still come with me?” He winks.
“Ha ha,” I mock. “They aren’t going to have karaoke this early.”
He shifts his lips back and forth for a moment. “You’re right. Nothing a little improvising can’t fix.”
He pulls the car out of the parking lot and starts driving again until we stop at a toy store.
“What are we—” He gets out of the car before I can finish asking.
“Come on, let’s go!” He swings my door open and reaches for my hand.
“What are we doing?” I ask again as he pulls us to the doors.
“I told you. Improvising.”
After we leave the toy store, he takes us to a local deli downtown and orders us both sushi platters. They pack them up for us, and Gabe drives us back out to Nat and Trace’s house.
“So what else is on your list?”
“Why do you want to know so bad?”
“Just curious. Thinking I should make a list, but maybe more simple things, similar to yours.” He glances at me and smiles. My stomach flutters, and I hate that he has that affect on me.
“Oh yeah? And what would those things be?”
He thinks for a moment, tilting his head in my direction. “I’d enjoy life more. Perhaps slow down and just learn to enjoy the moment, rather than wishing for it to go by faster. I’d go for walks, take more pictures, quit my stupid job.”
I look at him, surprised by his confession. “If you hate your job, why don’t you quit?”
He shrugs, staring hard out the window. “Family business.”
“Pff…” I mimic his careless shrug. “Life is too short to hate your job, Gabe. Family business or not.”
“Yeah?” He finally turns and looks at me with soft features. “What’s your day job?”
“I quit a few months ago. I was in fashion.”
“That sounds like something you would’ve enjoyed.”
“It was. I was busting my ass.”
“So what happened?”
I exhale deeply, looking back out the window to avoid his eye contact. “Life.”
We arrive back to the house and instead of going inside, he leads me down to the dock with our bags and a blanket from his trunk.
“Are you ready?” he asks, unpacking the bags.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be ‘ready’ for.”
“Karaoke and sushi,” he says matter-of-factly.
“Here?”
“Yes. Why not?” he asks, laying the blanket out on the grass until it’s nearly smoothed out.
“I-I don’t know. What if someone sees or hears me?”
He sets up the toy karaoke set and hands me the toy microphone. “I’ll be the only one listening.” He nods his head at me, giving me permission to turn it on.
I smile, shaking my head. “I can’t believe the only one they had in stock was a Frozen Sing-a-long karaoke set.”
“It even lights up,” he adds, a cocky grin playing on his lips.
“You’re loving this way too much.” I scowl.
He shrugs. “Just a little.”
So in front of him, the tree we kissed in, and the water we skinny-dipped in, I sang Let it Go. It was completely off-pitch, I forgot some of the words even, and I felt completely ridiculous, but even with all of that, it felt completely liberating.
Once the song ended, he stood up and clapped his hands, and to further my humiliation, whistled loud and obnoxiously.
“Not bad for a virgin karaoke singer.”
“So glad I have your approval,” I mock. “I think you should sing one now.”
“Oh, no. Singing karaoke sober isn’t on my list. Drunk karaoke? Maybe.”
“Stop being a wuss,” I tease, throwing the microphone at him.
He stands up with the microphone and music box in his hand, brushes off his jeans, and positions himself in front of me.
“You ready for this? I don’t want you to feel inferior or anything once you’ve heard me,” he says with an over-confident attitude.
“I think I’ll manage,” I say dryly.
He clears his throat and as soon as he starts to sing Love is an Open Door, I burst out in laughter. My hand covers my mouth as I try to control myself, but it’s nearly impossible when he starts switching his voice from Anna to Hans as he sings their duet, alternating a high-pitched voice and a low, deep voice.
When he’s done, he drops the mic, takes a bow, and smiles.
“Wow…how in the world are you single?”
“It’s a mystery to me, too.”
I laugh, loving how he’s managed to help me forget all about the pain, stress, and fear I’ve kept to myself all this time.
“Are you ready?”
He picks up a piece of sushi—crunchy, roll-something—and brings it to my mouth.
“I feel like I’m really going to regret this,” I mutter.
“Do you want to try the sauce?” he quickly pulls it away and asks.
“I don’t know. Do I?”
He shrugs. “Maybe a little.”
He brings it back up to my mouth, and I reluctantly open it, allowing him to feed it to me.
I’m expecting to hate it, maybe even needing to spit it out, but I don’t. It’s not ribeye steak good, but it’s not horrible either.
“Well?”
“It’s edible,” I say with my mouth still half full.
“Considering I imagined you throwing up by now, I’d say that’s pretty good,” he teases with a smirk.
We lay on the blanket together, eating our sushi, and talking. My heart beats faster as he inches over and covers up my hand with his. Soon, we’re shoulder to shoulder, and I feel myself falling deeper and deeper.
But I can’t.
Bucket list #1—Don’t fall in love again.
Track 11: Love in the Dark
Gabe
After an
incredible day with Kate yesterday, I don’t want to let her go. We sat on the blanket overlooking the water until we heard Natalee and Trace pull up. Kate convinced Natalee that she’d been feeling better and went into town with me for some lunch before coming outside to enjoy the beautiful fall day. She seemed to buy it because she smiled and walked back into the house.
“I should go help her. I’m sure she has a million things on her to-do list still,” Kate said with a fake smile. I could tell she was just as disappointed as I was to have to leave our little happy place.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll clean up out here.” I waved her off, not wanting her to see how sad I was to see her leave. I’d wanted to kiss her again, but a part of me stopped myself. I knew if I felt her lips against mine again, I wouldn’t stop at just a kiss, and knowing we were from completely different worlds, it would only make it harder to say goodbye to her in a few days.
I stayed up in my room instead of eating dinner with them. After taking a much-needed cold shower, I sit on the bed, leaning up against the headboard and scroll through pictures of Sophia on my phone.
“I really need to get these printed,” I remind myself. Perhaps I did need a list.
Sophia deserved a photo album. She deserved life, but since that was out of my control, I can at least print out the memories we shared together.
As I scroll through the numerous hundreds of photos, I come across one of the two of us at the zoo. It was right before we heard about her diagnosis and life was complete.
“Let’s go find the Zebras!” She loved the Zebras. I can still hear her tiny voice in my head. She was filled with so much energy and love.
I let her drag me around all day from exhibit to exhibit. I remember being so pissed at my dad that day. He promised he’d meet us there that day, but something at work came up—as usual—and he stood her up. I hated him for that. She was only eight and she already experienced heartbreak after heartbreak of never being enough for him. He’d have excuse after excuse, but she didn’t deserve that.
Even during her last few months, he’d stand her up. He had to work late or traffic set him back three hours. By the time he’d arrived, the drugs made her pass out for the night.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you just ever put her first?” I’d scream at him. He’d just stare back at me, no emotion in his features.
“I have a company to run, Gabriel. She knows that. She understands.” His voice was so empty.
“She understands?” I challenged. “She’s eleven! How in the world can she understand something like that when she’s fighting for her life?”
“She understands I need to work to pay for her care.”
I shook my head in disbelief, wanting to put my fist right through his smug face. “You’re a millionaire,” I reminded him. “You could take the time off if you wanted to.”
“It doesn’t work like that, son. One day, you’ll see that. One day, you’ll understand firsthand.” He was implying that I’d takeover once he retired.
“God, I hope not,” I mumbled, walking away from him. I would never be the cold-hearted man that he was. I’d make sure of that.
As I stare at her bright smile, I cringe as I remember my father in those days. He hasn’t changed a bit since burying his daughter. Sophia came from wife number three and three years after that, they divorced and he paid her off to stay away for good. She wasn’t the best at being a mom, but at least she was around when she was here. My father’s made an infinite amount of mistakes and yet, he never learns.
Guess that’s what happens when you have a cold, black heart.
A knock on the door distracts me and assuming its Kate, I tell her to come in. I’m surprised to see it’s not her, but actually Natalee.
“You doing okay?” she asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.
I nod, pursing my lips in a firm line. “Yeah, fine.”
“Okay, well, I just wanted to double check.” I set my phone down and her eyes follow to the images of Sophia on the screen. “You should tell her. She could be there for you in ways no one else can.”
“Why? What’s the point?”
“Sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who gets what you’re feeling.”
“I mean, what’s the point in telling her, getting close, and then having to leave days later? I’m getting too close as it is,” I admit.
“You could still talk, you know? Call, text, email.”
I shrug, looking down. “I like her.”
“I figured.”
“I feel guilty for trying to move on,” I say without thinking. “I miss Sophia.”
She inches closer, resting a hand on top of my knee, giving me that look. That look of pity. “I know.”
“I don’t want her to look at me like that,” I say, pointing at her expression.
“She’s experienced loss, too, Gabe. She’d never look at you like that.”
“So how do two broken people with damaged souls come together for the sake of healing?” I ask aloud. “I’m not sure there’s even such a thing.”
Kate
The following night, Natalee drags me out to a girl’s night out of dinner and a movie while the guys go do their ‘bachelor party’ night out. Nat doesn’t seem concerned, so I try and brush it off.
I’m not jealous. I’m not jealous.
Okay, I’m a tad jealous. I can only assume they’re going drinking someplace where girls will be throwing themselves at him all night long.
And I’m even more jealous that any of those girls could at least give him what I can’t—a future.
Before I met Gabe, I was learning to accept my diagnosis. I came here with one goal in my mind—be carefree. That included crossing things off my list, trying new things, and living with my fate. But now, Gabe was changing all of those things for me. The resentment started to boil in my blood. The bitterness came back, and I’m finding myself second-guessing every decision I make now.
Am I leading him on? Does he think what this is between us is going to last beyond this week?
Do I want it to last beyond this week?
I’m confused, annoyed with myself, and fighting with my heart and the way it thumps hard in my chest every time I’m near him or even think about him. It feels as if I was meant to be here, to meet him, and change my life around.
But it’s too late. I can’t change anything about my diagnosis. Even treatment wouldn’t save me at this point. How can I put him through something like that?
I can’t.
“Are you okay?” Natalee asks, snapping me back to the food in front of me. I look back up at her and nod with a fake smile. “You just seem out of it.”
“Sorry, just a lot on my mind.” I push the food around on my plate with my fork, my appetite lost.
“Want to talk about it?” I hear the sincerity in her voice and know she’s concerned.
“No, I’ll be all right. Plus this weekend is about you!” I say with enthusiasm. “Are you getting nervous? Excited?”
She sighs with a big smile. “It feels surreal. I’m really excited though.”
I manage to stay off the topic of me and chat about wedding stuff for the rest of dinner. We walk down the street to the theatre and decide on a romcom where we stuffed our faces with popcorn and milk duds.
“This was nice,” she says as we walk back to the car.
I smile in return. “It was.” I look up at the dark sky, lit up with stars and a bright moon. “It’s so pretty here.”
We’re bundled up in jackets and scarves, but the chilly air adds to the beauty of it all.
“It really is. I can’t wait to start a family and watch my kids grow up here.”
“Have you guys talked about how many you want?”
She sighs and wraps her arms around herself tightly. “I’d like three or four. Trace says two.”
I laugh. “If I had to place a bet on it, I’d bet you’d win.”
“Yeah?” she asks with a chuckle.
&n
bsp; “Yeah, I think you’re pretty convincing. At least you always were growing up. Wasn’t it you that convinced Janey she could walk on water if she held her breath?”
She burst out laughing, nearly falling over. “Oh my God! I can’t believe you remember that.”
Cousin Janey was three years younger than us, which made her an easy target for all of our practical jokes. “It makes a lot more sense now that she never really calls.” We laugh again, and I love how easy it is to go down memory lane with her.
On our drive back home, she brings up Gabe, which I knew she wouldn’t be able to help herself for much longer.
“So, since you weren’t really sick yesterday, you going to tell me what was really going on?”
I turn and look at her, wide-eyed with a just-got-caught expression. “You knew.”
She glances at me with an easy smile. “Of course, I knew! The look on your face told me everything I needed to know. Why do you think I rushed Trace and I out of the house?”
“So you knew I was lying and didn’t bust me out for it?”
“You’re not a child, Kate.” She smirks. “I figured it was Gabe’s idea anyway.”
I sigh with a stupid grin on my face. “Yeah, it was.”
“So…you wanna tell me what you guys did all morning?” she asks as we pull into the driveway of her house.
“I had a lot of fun actually.” I smile, remembering all the laughs we had. “I could really see myself liking him,” I admit.
“I think you’re past that already, Katie Bear. I think you like him, a lot.” She shifts the car into park, but doesn’t move to get out.
I bow my head and nod. I can’t disagree with her. I do like him a lot.
I shrug, not wanting her to see the pain and confusion that’s written all over my face. “I feel a connection to him, but that doesn’t mean it could lead to anything serious. We’re from different states. There’s no way it’d work.”
“He’s lost someone close to him, Kate. His little sister. Less than a year ago.” Her words strike me hard, and I’m almost certain I’m going to pass out. “He might not show it, but he’s hurting inside. This is the first time since the funeral that Trace or I have even seen him, and the fact that he’s been smiling and laughing nonstop since he’s met you really says something.”
Alphas & Millionaires Starter Set Page 59
