“How’d she die?” I find myself asking before I can stop myself.
She looks down before answering. “Cancer.”
I don’t look at her because if I do, I know I’ll cry. And I can’t breakdown in front of her. I can’t have her questioning my decision. Aside from being in different states, she assumes I’m being guarded because of Kyle, and although that could be partly the reason, it’s not the reason I’m fighting it as hard as I am.
“Just think about it,” she says, squeezing my hand that’s placed over my knee. She turns off the car and heads in, leaving me to the darkness and my thoughts.
Track 12: Hiding my Heart
Kate
This afternoon is the rehearsal and Natalee’s been wired since before her morning coffee. More family has been arriving to town and staying at the hotel where the venue is being held. She’s been pretty calm up until today and now I’m worried she’ll blow at any moment if anything is out of order.
Gabe and I barely have a chance to talk before Nat and I head to the church to decorate. Not that I’m entirely attempting to talk to him right now, especially after my chat with Natalee yesterday. I feel even guiltier than before and now my mind is so confused, I’m not sure what to do. I can barely even focus on any of that, because her bridesmaids all meet us at the church to help decorate. We manage to get it done in just a couple of hours, but between them talking and laughing, I can barely hear myself think.
Next is decorating the venue, so we all carpool to the hall. The girls and I chat, making easy conversation about how we all know Natalee and when we all expect her to get pregnant.
“I hope she has twins!”
“Me, too! One boy, one girl!”
“Oh my God, that’d be so cute!”
They all gush in high-pitched voices and excitement overload. I’m trying to be as excited as they are, but I just can’t. Even if she got pregnant on her wedding night, I wouldn’t be around to experience her pregnancy or meet the baby.
And that crushes me.
Gabe and Trace meet us at the hall and help us finish setting up all the decorations, centerpieces, and lights that drape along the head table. I see a couple of the girls chatting with Gabe and the fact that he’s even giving them the time of day irks me. I don’t expect him to ignore them and be rude, but does he have to give them the same glowing smile that he gives me?
Once everything is finished, we load up to head back to the church for rehearsal. The pastor is meeting us there in a few minutes and Natalee told me she’s hopeful we can get through it in just a couple of run throughs.
But knowing the perfectionist in her, I’m not so certain.
Trace’s brother, Nathan, is the best man, which means I’ll be walking down the aisle with him. The church coordinator puts all the bridesmaids and groomsmen in line to walk down the aisle together. Nathan and I are at the end, but Gabe is two rows ahead of me with some perky, obnoxiously loud, giggling, long-legged girl. Her name is Yasmine and she has jet-black hair and naturally tan skin. She looks like something out of an exotic magazine, and I hate that she’s draping her arms all over him.
I blink, trying to look away, but the fact that Gabe hasn’t even looked back at me or rather, has hardly spoken to me today, sets me on a jealous fury, which I fucking hate.
I hate that I feel jealous. I hate that I feel like he’s mine, when he’s clearly not. I hate that I believed we had something special this week when it’s so easy for him to flirt with this gorgeous girl right in front of me.
And the worse part? Yasmine is probably the nicest girls of the bunch. She seems intelligent and career-driven, which of course, only fuels my jealous rage more.
Nathan is pretty nice, but he’s nothing like Trace. He’s ten years older than him and is really quiet. He’s not much of a threat to Gabe, if he even cared.
“So are your wife and kids here with you this weekend?” I asked as we stood in line once again.
“They’re driving in tomorrow morning. Margo couldn’t get off work and the kids had school. So I came early for tonight.”
“Oh, cool. How old are your kids?” I ask to keep the dry conversation going.
“Ben is eight and Jordyn is six.” He pauses and before I can say anything, he continues. “The twins are three and Ava is eight months.”
My eyes widen, a small chuckle releasing from my throat as I turn and really look at him this time. No wonder he’s so quiet. He’s exhausted!
“Five kids under the age of eight? Wow…”
“Yup,” he says dryly. “Margo wanted a big family.”
“Well, pretty soon you’ll have your own football team,” I say with a soft smile.
He finally smiles in return. “She’s also three months pregnant.”
I smile in return, wanting to give the guy a flask of whiskey or something, but soon it’s our turn to walk down the aisle again, one final time.
My hand loops through his arm as we take small steps toward the altar. We’re the last ones walking down, so everyone’s eyes are on us, including Gabe, and the thought of him leaving in a couple days has my body on edge. I feel fidgety and tense, and I hate that I want him to stay, especially since he’d be staying for me.
Before we part ways in the front, my leg goes numb, and I stumble over my feet. If it wasn’t for Nathan grabbing ahold of me so quickly, I would’ve landed right on my face.
A few of the girls squeal as Gabe takes a protective step toward me, but once he sees that Nathan caught me and asks if I’m okay, he backs away. I’d be lying if I said I was disappointed, but I can’t let things like that bother me anymore.
The realization that this is all ending soon, both with Gabe and life, hits me hard.
“I’m fine,” I whisper to Nathan, bowing my head as I walk to the front and stand in my spot. The music begins and Natalee walks down the aisle again. My leg is tingling and soon starts to burn.
I knew the symptoms when I was first diagnosed, but they’d been pretty minor up until now.
Natalee is finally happy with the rehearsal and invites everyone over to the house for the rehearsal dinner. She’s catered in food and a wine bar and as much as I want to get drunk and forget this week with Gabe is ending soon, I have to remind myself that this is not my reality. Living life to the fullest and with no regrets is starting to catch up with me. I feel myself falling harder and harder for this man who I don’t even really know. The small parts I’ve given and the parts he’s revealed have been just enough to get under my skin and aim straight for my heart.
I ride back to the house with one of the bridesmaids who can’t stop talking about how her boyfriend took her to Rome. A couple of the other girls gossip and start asking me questions, such as Do I have a boyfriend? Am I totally excited for all the single men that will be at the wedding?—because apparently being single means I’m always looking—and Have I ever seen a famous person in New York City?—I get that one a lot.
My leg finally starts to feel better, so I stay for the dinner through the first course before I finally catch up with Natalee and say goodnight.
“Are you sure you’re okay? I saw you stumbled a little down the aisle?” Natalee’s on her third glass of wine, thank God—she’d been going Bridezilla there for a moment—and even through her slurred words, I can hear the concern in her voice.
“Oh, I’m fine. I think the exhaustion was just getting to me. I’ll be in tiptop shape tomorrow,” I say with a smile, reassuring her with my light tone.
By her goofy grin and the wave of her hand, I can tell she buys it. I let her know I’m heading up for the night and before I can step away, she grabs my arm and pulls my body to hers in a dramatic bear hug.
“I love you, Katie Bear. Thank you so much for being here.” Her grip is loose, but she sounds like one of those tipsy college girls who can’t hold her liquor.
“I love you too, Nattie Bug. I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” I say honestly, the guilt boiling up my throat, threa
tening to seep out of my skin and reveal the truth.
As soon as one of her friends calls her name, she’s walking-slash-stumbling toward them with her wine glass in hand. Walking upstairs, I smile as I think about Natalee and how she’s always been such a humble, sweet, and genuine person. She’s the very definition of classy and perfect, but the moment she gets around her old college friends, she’s a loose cannon.
Good for her though. I’d rather see her drunk and happy then stressed and sober.
Once upstairs, I head right for the bath, the steamy water and bubbles covering my body and easing away all the aches and spasms. I barely saw Gabe after the rehearsal. After our day alone together, things have felt weird, and I can’t help believing he’s feeling that way, too. Or maybe he’s just getting started on the inevitable and forgetting my very existence in the first place.
Humming to myself, I try to remind myself to stay in the moment. This is Natalee’s day, and I want her to enjoy it. As long as I stay busy helping her, I won’t have time to think about anything else.
I hear a loud thump and the sound of Gabe’s bedroom door slamming shut. Footsteps and giggling, bodies merging into the walls, and the squeak of the bed all have me sitting upright in the tub as I focus on the room next to mine.
It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s happening. His door is right there and every sound they make echoes through the bathroom, letting me know he has a girl in there. I hear more of her giggles as she chucks her shoes off. The sound of her heels hitting the floor vibrates the wall and I’m up and out of the bath the next second.
Rage and jealousy fill my head immediately. How the hell could he do something like this? I know we aren’t a couple or even anything close to it, but he knows my room is right next to his. He’s barely acknowledged me the last twenty-four hours and now I know why.
I haven’t ripped my clothes off for him.
Well, okay, technically.
Heated and pissed off, I wrap the towel around me and stomp out of the bathroom, slamming my door behind me. I doubt he’ll even notice considering whoever he probably has bent over the bed by now is screaming her mercies.
So much for one last night with Gabe. I won’t even be able to look at him tomorrow…
Track 13: All I Ask
Gabe
The day of the wedding is so completely hectic that I don’t even see Kate until she’s lining up behind me with Nathan. She doesn’t even glance at me, and I wonder if I’ve pissed her off or something. She’s barely spoken to me in two days.
I want to spend the night with Kate, even if that’s all I’ll ever get with her, but something’s changed since that day we spent together. She’s scared, and I can’t say I don’t blame her. I felt it, too. Getting close, feeling vulnerable. She doesn’t want to open up to someone that’ll just be leaving afterward.
After the ceremony, a hundred or two of pictures, and heading to the reception in the party bus, I’m determined to get her alone, even if just for a minute. She’s clung to Natalee most of the day, so getting any time with her hasn’t been easy. The other girls in the party have been obvious in giving me their attention, and I wonder if that’s what’s been bothering her.
I don’t plan to go home with any of those girls tonight, or ever. My only plan tonight is spending it with Kate and if it’s the last thing I do, I will kiss her lips again.
Once the party bus arrives to the venue, we have a few minutes outside before going in, and I take the opportunity to find Kate.
I grab her arm and pull her back to me, the warmth of her body pressed against mine is immediate. “Hey,” I say with a smile, relieved to finally get her attention.
“What do you want?” she asks, pushing away so bodies part.
I furrow my brows, confused by her harsh tone. “I haven’t been able to talk to you all day or yesterday.” She keeps her hard stare, looking unimpressed by my presence. “I’ve missed you. I want to dance with you later.” I take a step closer, and when she doesn’t step back, I take another.
“I don’t think so.” Her voice is sharp and final. The rest of the wedding party starts walking in and she follows without another word.
Well, that didn’t go as I anticipated.
I have no idea why she’s pissed or what I did to make her upset, but I’m not about to let her walk away from the week we’ve shared.
The reception is packed, filled with high energy. Trace had a lot of college and work friends, multiplied by all their families and extended family members. Kate sits next to Natalee at the head table, putting her too far away from me to grab her attention. I decide to watch for an opening when she stands up, but then I realize she’s holding a microphone for her maid of honor speech.
I watch, mesmerized, her face completely lit up as she talks about Natalee and how they grew up together. She talks about how Natalee talked about Trace from day one and that if anyone deserved eternal happiness, it was them. I see the sincerity in her face and for a split moment, I want to stand up and scream at her—scream at her for pushing me away before I even got close, scream that I’m right here, wanting her.
But I keep my cool and when she excuses herself from the table to use the restroom, I take the opportunity to follow her. She turns the corner into a quiet hallway and when I’m sure no one else is around, I catch up to her and pin her against the wall.
“What the hell, Gabe?” she snaps. “Let me go.”
“No,” I say firmly. “Not until you tell me what you’re so pissed about.”
“Oh, like you don’t know,” she fires at me. “We’re not doing this. Not here.”
“Oh, we are,” I retort. “So just tell me what your problem is.”
“Fine! You wanna know?” she hisses. I nod, loosening my grip around her. “I heard you last night, okay? I was in the bathtub and when you came into your room with your little visitor, I heard. And well, it pissed me off. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you being with someone, so I thought it was best to just keep my distance.”
I narrow my eyes, trying to hold in satisfied grin. “You were jealous,” I say, taunting.
“Screw you, asshole!” She slaps my chest, but I catch it before she can pull back. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I’m done. Whatever this is—was—it’s done.”
This time my grin spreads wide, my eyes fixed on hers. “You’re adorable.”
She pauses, scowling at me. “Was that you getting even with me or something?”
“Listen, Kate…” I press my body to hers, lowering my body to capture her chin with my fingers. “I didn’t even sleep in my bed last night. When I walked in and saw two people laying naked on my bed, I went and slept on the couch.”
Her breath hitches. “You slept on the couch?”
I nod. “Alone.”
“Did you change your sheets?” she asks with concern.
I laugh and nod my head. “Ripped them off first thing this morning.”
She licks her lips, and I can almost see the thoughts spinning in her head. “Why didn’t you come in by me then?”
“I thought about it, but it was late. I was afraid I’d wake up again to you screaming at me,” I say with a smirk.
She rolls her eyes, a smile finally forming on her lips. “Fair enough.”
“So you were jealous, huh?” I taunt.
“Shut up. You’re still an asshole.”
I shrug, curling my lips. “But a cute asshole, right?”
“You’re going to need a bigger fedora. It’s about to burst with that ego of yours.”
I laugh, happy that she’s finally relaxed around me again. “You look beautiful, by the way. Pearls and feather bands really suit you.”
“You mean a 1920s hooker?”
“But a classy hooker.”
She rolls her eyes again and chuckles. “God, Gabriel Cooper. What am I going to do with you?”
“You sound pretty sexy saying my name like that,” I say, pressin
g my lips to hers before she can pull away. “Say it again.”
“No,” she says, parting our mouths.
“I love it when you’re defiant.”
She giggles, and I nearly lose it right then and there.
“I need to use the restroom,” she reminds me, pushing me back.
“Fine, but I get a dance with you.”
She starts to walk away, her heels accentuating her ass as my eyes following her down the hallway. “We’ll see,” she taunts, briefly looking over her shoulder at me with those smoldering eyes that tell me everything else I need to know.
Kate
My mind races as I think about Gabe and the last dance we had together. The way he touched me. The way he stole my breath with just his eyes. The way he pressed my body tenderly to his, clenching me as if he couldn’t hold me tight enough.
It was the first time I allowed myself to feel vulnerable around him. The walls that surrounded me lowered and I let myself feel the moment with him—even if it were just for tonight.
After sending Natalee and Trace off, I stayed to help clean up. Gabe and I exchanged looks the entire time, but something was stopping me from making that final step into his arms. The battle of my heart and mind kept me from inviting him into my bedroom when I arrived back to the house before he did.
Now, I’m standing outside his bedroom door in bare feet, pajama shorts, and a tank top. My hair is pulled up in a messy knot, makeup half-rubbed-off from dancing all night long.
But I don’t care. Not anymore.
He’s leaving tomorrow and although I don’t want to ruin the absolute perfect night we had together, I’m going to risk it. Even though it’s best I leave it alone.
I listen for any movement behind his door, but it’s completely silent. Inhaling a deep breath, I knock on his door. I anticipate him turning me down, but I can’t sleep not knowing. I won’t live with regrets any more.
Alphas & Millionaires Starter Set Page 60
