The swans glanced at one another. Shigong Egg was a wise master, but he could talk a lot of rubbish sometimes.
‘It’s the chickens, Master,’ the first swan said. ‘They won’t cooperate.’
Shigong Egg stared at him without blinking. ‘Explain.’
The swan swallowed. Shigong Egg could outstare a snake. ‘The small one, Amy, wishes only to wrestle,’ he began. ‘We’ve been trying to teach her Kung Fu moves but her legs are too short to kick properly and she keeps falling over.’
The swans waited. Shigong Egg didn’t blink. ‘What of the others?’ he said eventually.
‘The tall one, Ruth,’ the first swan answered, ‘she’s clever but she shows no interest in being a warrior. Yesterday when I attempted to engage her in combat she shot me in the eye with a rotten egg from a rocket launch she’d made out of a cardboard tube and some fart gas.’ He shuddered.
Shigong Egg went into a backbend. His head re-emerged between his legs. He was still staring.
‘The one called Boo, she has perfect balance,’ the second swan said, ‘but she doesn’t want to get her boots dirty and she won’t fight. And she’s even demanding that we give her a purple silk headband, Master, even though we told her you were the only one worthy of such an honour.’
‘Ah,’ Shigong Egg muttered, ‘my purple silk headband. I wonder …’ He straightened up. ‘Do not speak more of resigning. Your work is done. Now go in peace!’
The swans bowed. They shuffled out. Shigong Egg still hadn’t blinked. He rang a bell. His servant entered. ‘Green tea, Master?’ the servant asked.
‘Green is the colour of grass,’ Shigong Egg observed. ‘As well as trees, peas, teas and mouldy cheese.’
‘Indeed, Master,’ the servant agreed. He poured the tea.
‘It is time to test what our young chickens have learned, Menial,’ Shigong Egg finally blinked slowly, one eye after the other. ‘I intend to set them a task.’
‘What level task, Master?’ the servant enquired with interest. There were forty-nine levels of task. One was the easiest. Forty-nine was the hardest. Only Shigong Egg had completed them all.
‘Level fifty,’ Shigong Egg replied.
The servant gasped. He’d forgotten about level fifty. ‘But, Master,’ he whispered. ‘The yeti …’
‘Do not worry, Menial,’ Shigong Egg closed his eyes. ‘It takes many steps to reach the top floor … unless you take the lift.’
‘Wise words indeed, Master,’ the servant said. ‘But …’
‘ENOUGH!’ Shigong Egg thundered. ‘Get the chickens. My mind is made up.’
The next day Amy, Boo and Ruth trudged out of the monastery gates into the snow and headed towards a track that led deep into the mountains.
‘Remember,’ Shigong Egg called after them, ‘you must know your enemy in order to defeat him.’
The three chickens exchanged glances.
‘What’s he talking about now?’ Ruth muttered.
Shigong Egg raised one foot off the ground. ‘The road to wisdom lies through sheep dung … sheep dung … sheep dung …’ His voice echoed round the mountains.
‘Sure!’ Amy giggled. Treading in sheep dung didn’t make you wise. If it did she’d be a chicken genius by now, like Ruth, after all the sheep dung she’d trodden in at the farm.
‘Good luck!’ The swans circled overhead, sniggering.
‘Why are they looking so cheerful?’ Amy asked.
‘Probably because we’re going to die,’ Boo said mournfully.
‘It can’t be that hard!’ Amy said brightly.
‘Weren’t you listening, Amy?’ Ruth sounded astonished. ‘Didn’t you hear what that nut-job emu wants us to do?’
‘Yeah,’ Amy replied. ‘He wants us to trek up the mountain to the yeti’s lair and steal back the purple silk headband the yeti stole from him. So what?’
‘Do you actually know what a yeti is, Amy?’ Boo asked gently.
‘Not really,’ Amy admitted.
Boo sighed. ‘You tell her,’ she said to Ruth.
‘The yeti, also known as Bigfoot or the Abominable Snowman is a legendary creature similar to a bear,’ Ruth explained. ‘It is believed to inhabit caves, is approximately two metres tall, is covered in thick white fur and has a large appetite for fresh meat, especially chicken.’
‘Oh,’ said Amy, impressed. ‘How do you know all that?’
‘I found a book in the library,’ Ruth said. ‘I brought it with me if you want to have a look. It’s called The Habits of Yetis.’
‘Maybe later.’ Amy didn’t think she’d be able to see a book; the weather was getting so bad. She glanced back. The monastery was out of sight. The swans had disappeared. The snow came in thick swirls. It was turning into a blizzard. She was smaller than the others. Her tummy feathers were wet from rubbing in the snow. ‘Are we nearly there yet?’ she asked plaintively.
‘I don’t think so,’ Ruth said, glancing about. ‘But we’d better find shelter before this gets any worse.’ The wind whistled past them, pushing the snow into drifts around their ankles.
‘What about over there?’ Amy suggested. She pointed to the mouth of a great cave, which led into the rocky mountainside.
‘Are you sure that isn’t where the yeti lives?’ Boo asked.
Ruth shook her head. ‘The swans said it lives on the other side of the mountain.’
‘Well, come on then, what are we waiting for? Let’s go.’ Amy took a step towards the cave and sank up to her tail.
Boo held out a wing towards her. ‘Grab hold. I’ll give you a pull,’ she offered.
Amy grabbed Boo’s wing gratefully. Boo was really strong. Amy felt herself being lifted out of the snowdrift. She dusted herself off.
BOOM!
‘What was that?’ Boo shouted.
‘It came from up there,’ Amy said, looking fearfully towards the mountaintop.
The snow was getting even heavier. In fact huge great chunks of it were falling all around them.
Ruth blinked at the tumbling blocks of snow. ‘Quick!’ she shouted. ‘It’s an avalanche!’
The chickens struggled towards the cave entrance and threw themselves in. They huddled together.
CRASH!
A wall of snow cascaded past the mouth of the cave. They were just in time!
‘We may have to spend the night here,’ Ruth said. ‘And wait for this storm to blow over.’
‘Oh well, look on the bright side,’ Amy said. Looking on the bright side was something her mother had always taught her to do. ‘At least it’s dry!’ She chucked down her backpack and shook her wet feathers. The cave felt warm and cosy, like the coop at Perrin’s Farm. ‘And we’re safe from the yeti.’
Ruth had brought a huge backpack with her. She threw it on the floor and pulled out her library book. ‘I’m going to find out more about the yeti,’ she said. ‘You two can go and explore if you like.’ She started to read.
‘Shall we try and find some bedding?’ Amy suggested to Boo. ‘Then we can have a snack.’ The chickens had been given some mealworm and seeds to take with them as emergency rations before they left the monastery.
‘Okay,’ Boo agreed. ‘There’s none in here though. What about through there?’ She pointed to an opening at the back of the cave.
Amy scuttled over and peered through it. ‘There’s another cave,’ she said. ‘They must go right under the mountain.’ She sniffed. ‘I can smell hay.’ The scent reminded her of Perrin’s Farm at harvest time. She took another sniff. ‘And something that whiffs a lot like sheep dung.’ She scratched her head. That was odd. Hadn’t Shigong Egg said something about sheep dung?
Boo joined her. ‘You go first,’ she said. ‘I don’t like the dark.’
Amy didn’t like the dark either. But she knew she had to be brave for Boo’s sake. Boo looked really scared. ‘Okay.’ She crept through the opening. Then she stopped in surprise. ‘Look, Boo!’ she exclaimed. ‘Someone’s lit a fire!’
In the cor
ner of the second cave a log fire crackled merrily, radiating warmth and casting a red glow around the rock.
‘Thank goodness. I’m freezing!’ Boo ran towards the fire and sat down. She shook the snow from her boots and started to preen her shiny feathers.
Amy scuttled over to join her. Food was roasting on a spit above the flames. Amy couldn’t make out what it was. The food wasn’t long and thin like worms. It wasn’t round and flat like beetles either. It didn’t even look like a vegetable or a piece of fruit. It was thick and chunky, with two bits sticking out on either side, one longer than the other. ‘I wonder who lives here?’ she said, looking round the cave curiously. A little way away from the fire was a large pile of straw. Amy hopped on to it and made herself comfortable. She felt drowsy. She normally went to bed at dusk and the warmth of the fire in the dark cave was making her sleepy. She closed her eyes.
‘Grrrrrrrrr.’
‘What was that?’ Boo whispered.
Amy opened her eyes.
‘My stomach, probably,’ she yawned. ‘I’m starving.’
‘Grrrrrrrr.’ The noise came again.
Amy listened closely. It wasn’t her stomach that was growling, she decided. And it couldn’t be Ruth who was making the noise because it was coming from the wrong direction. The growling came from somewhere deep within the mountain: from further inside the system of caves.
‘It sounds more like a bear,’ Boo hissed.
‘Didn’t Ruth say the yeti was a bit like a bear?’ Amy remarked. She felt proud of herself for remembering. She was learning loads more stuff at KFP than she ever had at her old school.
Boo stared at the roasting food. Then she stared at the pile of straw. ‘Flap!’ she squawked. ‘It’s the yeti! Budge over.’ Amy made room for her.
Boo burrowed her way under the straw. ‘What are you doing, Amy?’ Boo poked her head out. ‘Why aren’t you hiding?’
‘I’m not scared of the yeti,’ Amy said bravely. ‘And anyway, we’ve got to get the headband off it and take it back to Shigong Egg, remember?’
‘Don’t be daft,’ Boo told her firmly. ‘The yeti’s about two hundred times the size of you. You can’t just grab it off him. We’ll have to get back to the entrance and alert Ruth. She’s the clever one: she’ll think of a plan. If we survive that long, that is.’
‘Okay.’ Amy burrowed down next to Boo. The two chickens huddled together in a ball of feathers and waited.
The yeti lumbered into the cave. It was carrying some logs.
‘Look!’ Amy nudged Boo. ‘Shigong Egg’s purple silk headband.’ The band was tied lopsidedly around the yeti’s forehead.
‘Never mind that now!’ Boo was shivering with fear. ‘Please, Amy. Just leave it.’
‘All right.’ Amy huddled closer to make Boo feel better.
The yeti bent down in front of the fire. It placed the logs on the flames and blew on them until they crackled. Then it removed the spit. Amy watched in horror as its sharp teeth began to tear at the roasted meat.
‘Mmm, rabbit!’ it grunted. ‘Me like.’ It took another mouthful. ‘But not as much as chicken.’
Amy gulped. No wonder the cooking had two bits sticking out either side. It was meat. Those were the rabbit’s legs!
‘What are we going to do?’ Boo hissed. ‘I don’t want to be eaten by a yeti!’
‘It won’t eat us,’ Amy said soothingly. ‘It doesn’t know we’re here.’
The yeti finished its meal. ‘Mmm, me sleepy,’ it said. ‘Me want nap.’ It strolled towards the pile of straw, yawning and stretching.
‘Now it’s going to squash us instead!’ Boo moaned.
Amy racked her brain. They had to do something! Ruth was nowhere to be seen. She was probably too absorbed in her book to realise that there was a real, live yeti in the next-door cave! Amy would have to think of a plan to get them out of there herself. And she hadn’t given up on the headband either, whatever Boo said. There must be a way. She wondered what Shigong Egg would do.
Suddenly she had an idea. ‘Come on, Boo.’ She dragged Boo backwards out of the straw so that they were behind the pile where the yeti couldn’t see them. ‘You distract it with the Ou-jay leg-neck knot. I’ll get the headband. Then we’ll make a run for it. I’ll be back in a minute.’ She scuttled off.
‘What?’ Boo squawked. ‘Are you joking?’
The yeti spied Amy. ‘Yum, chicken!’ it said.
‘Boo! Do it now!’ Amy screeched.
Boo edged out from behind the pile of straw. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she called in a strangled voice.
The yeti turned round and shuffled towards her.
Boo didn’t move.
‘Boo!’ Amy shrieked. ‘What are you waiting for? Do it!’
‘I can’t remember how!’ Boo sobbed.
‘Yes, you can.’ Amy stopped in her tracks.
‘I can’t!’ Boo wailed.
‘But I’ve seen you!’ Amy said. ‘You did it in the dormitory.’
‘That was when it didn’t matter!’ Boo howled. ‘I’m too scared!’
‘Come on, Boo,’ Amy urged. ‘I know you can do it. That’s your skill, remember: perseverance. Just for a few seconds. I’ll be there in a tick.’
Amy could see Boo hesitate. Then, to her relief, Boo took a deep breath and lifted one leg off the floor.
The yeti stopped. ‘Funny chicken,’ it said.
‘That’s it, Boo! Keep going!’ Amy darted about in the shadows, keeping one eye on Boo. Boo’s leg kept travelling upwards. Her toes crept one by one around her neck. Any minute now and they would reach her knee.
‘Ooohhhh!’ The yeti watched, fascinated.
‘Good work, Boo!’ Amy had found what she wanted – a patch of dirt. She dipped down and coated her tummy fluff in muck. Now for the feather dusty! With any luck she would catch the yeti off guard long enough for her to get the headband. She ran round in a circle, flapping her wings furiously, and took off towards the roof of the cave.
The yeti was still watching Boo. ‘Me like!’ it grunted, clapping its paws. ‘Funny chicken.’
Boo slid her shin under her thigh.
Amy got ready to feather dusty the yeti. She did one more loop of the cave ceiling and locked on to her target. Any minute now …
Suddenly there was a shout from behind her. Amy looked round. It was Ruth! She was wearing the poo-powered poultry projector. She must have brought it with her in her backpack!
‘Don’t worry, guys! I’m on it!’ Ruth cried. ‘Let Operation Remove Headband commence.’ She rammed the projector helmet on to her head and began to lift into the air.
‘Ruth!’ Amy squawked. ‘Don’t! Boo and I have got it covered!’
Ruth appeared not to have heard her. She was struggling with the helmet. ‘Barn it!’ Ruth swore. ‘It’s slipped!’ She tried to adjust the straps. ‘Help! I can’t see where I’m going!’
‘Watch out!’ Amy yelled. Ruth zigzagged towards her.
THONK!
Ruth hurtled into Amy.
Amy plummeted on to Boo.
Boo crashed to the floor.
The poo-powered poultry projector made a rude noise.
‘Mayday! Mayday! I’ve run out of poo!’ Ruth shouted. She spiralled downwards and landed on the others.
The yeti came out of its trance. ‘Lots of chicken!’ it said, licking its lips. ‘Yum!’
‘Help!’ Boo shrieked.
‘Can someone give me a hand with this helmet?’ The helmet was still jammed over Ruth’s eyes. ‘I can’t see a thing!’
Amy tried to stay calm. ‘Ruth!’ she squawked, yanking at the helmet. ‘What else have you got in that backpack of yours?’
‘I think the rotten-egg stink bomb’s in there somewhere,’ Ruth said. ‘Why?’
Amy tugged at the helmet. It shot off Ruth’s head. ‘That’s why!’ she said, pointing at the yeti. It was only feet away from them. ‘Run!’ she yelled. ‘I’m going for the stink bomb.’
Amy lowered her head and ran a
s fast as she could between the yeti’s legs. The yeti made a grab for her but Amy dodged him. She raced into the first cave and tipped up Ruth’s backpack. The rotten-egg stink bomb tumbled on to the floor. Amy grabbed it.
‘Quick, Amy!’ Ruth yelled. ‘The yeti’s got Boo!’
Amy ran as fast as she could back to her friends, her little legs aching with the effort.
‘Hold on, Boo!’
The yeti had Boo in one big hairy hand. With the other it stoked the fire with a stick. ‘Yummy chicken,’ it said.
‘Here!’ Amy gave the stink bomb to Ruth.
Ruth pressed a button.
WHOOSH! A cloud of evil-smelling gas enveloped the cave.
The yeti staggered backwards. ‘Yuck! Fart gas,’ it grumbled. ‘Me no like.’ It dropped Boo on the pile of straw.
‘Are you all right?’ Amy ran to her.
Boo looked dazed. ‘I think so,’ she said.
‘Give it another blast, Ruth!’ Amy yelled.
WHOOSH! A second cloud of gas shot out of the cardboard tube.
The yeti removed Shigong Egg’s purple silk headband from around his forehead and held it to his nose.
‘Drop the headband!’ Ruth shouted. ‘Or I’ll hit you with a rotten egg.’
The yeti hesitated.
‘Okay, you’ve asked for it!’
SPLAT! The egg hurtled towards the yeti and smashed in its eye.
The yeti howled in anguish. He dabbed at the putrid egg with the purple silk headband.
‘Oh dear!’ said Ruth. ‘That wasn’t part of the plan.’
‘Drop it!’ Amy ordered the yeti. ‘Or you’ll get another egg in the face.’
The yeti had had enough. It dropped the headband on the ground and shambled out of the cave through the opening in the rock from which it had come. ‘GGGGRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr …’ Its grumbling became quieter as it disappeared into the bowels of the mountain.
‘It’s gone!’ Boo whispered.
‘We did it!’ Ruth threw herself on to the pile of straw. She lay on her back with her legs in the air.
Danger in the Deep Dark Woods Page 2
