Dirty Little Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  Raffaelo went very still and when he spoke, his own voice was hard.

  “That wasn’t my intention, I can assure you. I was merely trying to help. Hey …”

  She’d turned away from him and started walking away. He grabbed her wrist, twisting it around as he stopped her. His fingers bit into her skin and she winced.

  “Raffaelo, you’re hurting me.”

  His grip didn’t lessen. “Then don’t turn your back on me when I’m talking to you.”

  She turned back to him and nearly recoiled at the anger in his eyes, eyes that had darkened from his usual green to a dark hazel. Anger that turned to desire. They bored into hers and she felt her stomach flip, her breath catching in her throat. She froze. He dropped her wrist and took a deep breath. When he spoke again, his voice was softer.

  “I apologize. I was just trying to help.” He touched her face. “What is going on today? Why is there this tension between us?”

  She flushed, not wanting this conversation now, here, out on the street. He dropped his hand.

  “Inca, we need to talk about what is happening between us.”

  She said nothing, but looked away, down the busy street. She felt an overwhelming need to be alone, to shake off everything and everyone in her life. An idea occurred to her and she turned towards the city, not looking at Raffaelo.

  “I’m going to see my realtor.” She didn’t elaborate, and Raffaelo said nothing, just walked beside her. He slid a hand up her back and rested his hand on the back of her neck. It felt good, a comfort, and so she didn’t pull away. A couple of blocks later, she pushed open the door to Mindy’s realty office and smiled thinly at her friend. Mindy greeted her warmly. Inca rather stiffly introduced Raffaelo to her. They shook hands and the small blonde woman frowned slightly.

  “Have we met?”

  Raffaelo smiled back at her. “I’m afraid not, but I am pleased to meet you now.”

  Mindy was still frowning when she offered them a seat. “What can I do for you, Inca?”

  Not looking at Raffaelo, Inca got straight to the point. “I would like to see some more apartments. In the city, rather than Willowbrook.” She felt Raffaelo look at her in surprise, an expression that was mirrored in Mindy’s face.

  “Really? Well, that’s … why the change of heart?”

  Inca’s irritation suddenly went, and she felt her whole body slump. She shook her head, trying to not cry. “I need a new start, a new life. And I can’t do it in that town.”

  Mindy nodded. “Okay then, sweetheart.” She peered closely at Inca, who felt her eyes fill with tears. She looked away from the realtor’s inquiring gaze. Mindy leaned over the desk and squeezed her hand. “I’ll email you some details and we’ll arrange some viewings next week.”

  Inca nodded, managing to get a muttered ‘thanks’ out before she stood and almost ran back out onto the street in tears, filled with a crushing grief. What the hell was the matter with her? She dragged deep breaths into her lungs, trying to fend off the panic attack. She felt Raffaelo standing next to her, but he didn’t touch her.

  Eventually the tension in her chest eased and she sighed, giving Raffaelo a sheepish smile.

  “I’m sorry. I just had to get out.” She sighed. Raffaelo gathered her into a hug, his arms tight around her. After a second, she returned his hold. He kissed her temple.

  “I think this is the shock from the attack hitting you,” he said gently. “Tommaso said the doctor said this might happen.”

  Inca realized he was right and her body slumped against him. His arms around her felt good. “I think that’s why I feel on edge.”

  “Shall we go find somewhere quiet and private to eat? We can talk—or not, entirely your choice. But let me take care of you, please, Inca. For Tommaso. For me. For you.”

  She closed her eyes and nodded, feeling his arms tighten around her. She breathed in his scent—clean linen and fresh air— and felt the heat from his body warm her. Why was she feeling like this? She looked up at him then and their gazes locked. She felt a jolt run through her.

  I want you. Oh God, no. She pulled away, looking down. “Yes, let’s go find somewhere.”

  She couldn’t shake the feeling though; desire curled in her stomach as he took her hand and they made their way to the nearest restaurant.

  Raffaelo watched her as they sat at their table, drinks in hand. “Inca,” he said softly. “I think I know what you are feeling. I feel it too.”

  Inca shook her head. “Raffaelo … I love Tommaso. I do.”

  “I know. As do I—I don’t want to feel like this.”

  His strong hands pushed her thighs apart; his huge cock glided into her …

  “Raff, maybe we shouldn’t spend time with each other. Not until Tommaso comes back.”

  “Perhaps.”

  They finished their meal in silence. Afterwards they walked along the waterfront. At Pier 59, Inca stopped.

  “This is my favorite place in the city. Especially at night.” The globe lamps were just coming on, lighting the lilac dusk. She leaned over the rail and looked down at the navy water, breathing in the salty smell of the Bay.

  Raffaelo moved closer to her, sliding an arm around her waist. She looked up and smiled at him. He frowned slightly.

  “Come on. The ferry’s awaiting.”

  As the ferry pulled away from the pier, Inca shivered as the breeze picked up. Raffaelo put his jacket around her. She smiled her thanks and looked back towards the city.

  “I’m biased, I know, but that’s the best skyline in the world.”

  “What about Manhattan, Hong Kong, Sydney?” He was amused.

  She grinned and pointed over to the horizon. Out of the violet night, Mount Rainier rose above the city.

  “Volcano. Big ass volcano,” Inca said. “Big ass volcano trumps everything.”

  “Fair point.”

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

  He smiled but said nothing, kissing the top of her head. There was a new possibility opening to him that he hadn’t figured into his plans. Raffaelo tightened his grip on her and stared out at the ocean, contemplating a future of something completely alien to him.

  Love.

  When Tommaso returned, after the initial joy at seeing her, he noticed the tension between his lover and his sibling. Inca saw him weighing up the two of them and their relationship.

  “So, did you have a good time in the city?”

  “Yes, thank you.” Raffaelo gave him a rundown of their day, but Tommaso still seemed on edge. And when he and Inca were alone, he asked her about it. “What’s going on with you and Raff?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Tommaso looked annoyed. “I’m not blind, Inca. There’s tension. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was between lovers.”

  Inca sighed. “I would never cheat on you, Tommaso.”

  “But you’re attracted to Raffaelo.”

  Inca hesitated. “Yes. A little. I don’t know why. A schoolgirl crush. But I love you.”

  Tommaso sat in silence for a while, studying her. Inca went to him. “I meant it. I love you, Tommaso. There is no one else. It’s just a little blip.”

  “Thank you for being honest, mio caro.”

  “I’m sorry, Tommaso.”

  He pulled her onto his lap and began to kiss her neck. “Perhaps we should invite him to share our bed.”

  Horrified, Inca pushed away from him. “Tommaso!’

  He shrugged, something dark in his eyes. “Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time we have shared a woman.”

  Inca almost slapped him. She felt sick. “God, Tommaso—is this how you repay my honesty?”

  “You Americans are so uptight. It’s not a big deal. Come on. Tell me you haven’t thought about being fucked by my brother?”

  Jesus. Inca gathered her purse and her things. “I’m leaving, Tommaso.”

  His hand snaked out and gripped her arm. “Don’t be silly. I was just joking.”

  Inca rippe
d her arm away. “Not funny.”

  She stormed out of the mansion, down to her car and got in. Still fuming, she drove into town and went to the Sakura. Tish was just closing up and Olly was talking to her. He greeted Inca with a smile, which faded when he saw her strained face. Tish made her excuses and left.

  “Spill it,” Olly said but Inca shook her head.

  “It’s just a row. All relationships have them.”

  “Don’t I know it,” he said wryly. “Molly and I split.”

  Inca sighed. “Oh, Olly, I am sorry. She was lovely.”

  Olly cleared his throat and met her gaze. “Not lovely enough.”

  Inca looked away from his gaze and dropped her head in her hands. “Please, Olly, don’t start that now. I can’t do this.”

  “I’m sorry, Inca, but I have to say it.”

  “No.” Inca was fierce then. “You made your choice months ago.”

  His eyes were sad. “I know. I will do anything, anything, to prove to you how much I love you, how much I’ve always loved you.” He wrapped his arms around her.

  She looked deep into his eyes then pulled away and stood, her face in her hands, and when she dropped them, there were tears. He went to her immediately.

  “The thing I don’t get,” she stepped away from his arms, “is why? There was no sign. No warning. One day we were fine, the next you were done. Finished.”

  Olly’s shoulders slumped. “You don’t trust me.” He sat back onto the couch and leaned forward, his head in his hands. She waited, not speaking. Eventually he looked up and sighed.

  “I guess I don’t blame you for that. Tyler said I’d have to prove myself. I messed up. I started to believe what my dad had always said about me—I wasn’t good enough. Not enough for you.”

  She shook her head, bewildered. “But none of that came from me … did it? Did I make you feel like that?”

  Olly looked startled. “No. No, of course not. Damn, Inca. I don’t know what I was thinking. The second the words came out of my mouth I wanted to take them back. But I knew that if I caved, if I let myself feel that loss, I couldn’t do it. I needed to let you go.”

  There was a long silence. Inca wiped the tears from her face. “You have to understand, Olly, my heart won’t take it again. Not from you. Not again. I’d rather it ended now, today, than relive that pain ever again.”

  He was staring at her now, the horror of understanding in his eyes. “I broke you.”

  Inca took a deep breath in and returned his gaze steadily. “Yes, Olly. You did.”

  Olly flinched, then nodded slowly, his face etched with pain. “Tell me. Tell me how to make it better.”

  She touched his face. “You can’t. I can’t be any more than a friend to you now,” she said simply. “I’m sorry, Olly.”

  He nodded. “It’s okay. Really. I made my bed.”

  Inca sighed and looked away, thinking of Tommaso—and Raffaelo. “And I made mine.”

  Tommaso watched them from outside the Sakura and his eyes hardened. That damn cop … he had known Olly still had feelings for Inca, and now it looked like he was declaring himself to her. Would she think it was easier to go back to her old life?

  Tommaso knew he would rather die than let her go—but he couldn’t help feeling that his ill-timed joke earlier had exacerbated this latest bump in the road.

  Except … it wasn’t a joke, was it? The thought of your woman and your brother turns you on …

  Tommaso pushed the thought away. For right now, he couldn’t take his eyes off the cop with Inca— he obviously still had feelings for her.

  Tommaso smiled grimly and turned away from the view. He suddenly saw Nancy across the street watching him and he saluted sarcastically before getting back into his car. He regretted the rude gesture almost immediately, but his mind was filled with a plan. Olly Rosenbaum had missed his chance with Inca. Now it was time he realized it.

  Raffaelo was alone when Inca came home that evening. “Where’s Tommaso?” Inca asked him as she took off her coat.

  “No idea.”

  There was an awkward silence before Raffaelo sighed. “Look … Inca, I’ve decided to go back to Italy.”

  Pain ripped through Inca then, and she sat down heavily. “Why?”

  Raffaelo sat with her and took her hands. “You know why. We cannot go on like this. I think we both need some distance from each other; it’s not fair on Tommaso that I … we … feel the way we do.”

  Inca’s eyes filled with tears and he cradled her face in his palm. “You need space to figure out how you feel.”

  Inca nodded but closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. The thought of not seeing Raffaelo every day made her feel sick. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered, and then felt his lips against hers just briefly, sweet and soft. She opened her eyes and gazed at him. His light green eyes, so like Tommaso’s, were soft, full of love and, not thinking, she went into his arms, her mouth seeking his hungrily.

  It was inevitable then. As they tumbled to the floor, Raffaelo’s hand was under her dress, pulling down her panties; Inca’s hands was at his fly, freeing his thickening cock from his underwear; and then he was inside her. They made love slowly, as if drinking each other in, knowing they would soon be parted, clinging to each other, eyes locked. Raffaelo’s thick, long cock drove deeper and deeper into her with each thrust and when he came, she reveled in the feeling of his hot, thick cum filling her, shooting hard into her belly.

  “I love you,” she whispered, knowing the absolute truth of her words, and he nodded, his eyes filled with love and pain.

  “Anche io ti amo, la mia bella Inca.” I love you too, my beautiful Inca.

  Inca’s tears fell then, and she wrapped her legs and arms around him, never wanting to let him go. “Oh God, Raff. What are we going to do?”

  Raffaelo buried his face in her neck and she felt his tears too. “I don’t know, mio caro. I don’t know.”

  Outside of the room, Tommaso watched them making love and kissing and felt … he couldn’t distinguish his rage from his desire, nor his betrayal from a sense of inevitability. He knew, without doubt, that Inca loved him, Tommaso, but now it was clear that she had the same feelings for Raffaelo. He wanted both to kill them and to join them in their lovemaking. He debated going into the room, telling them he’d seen them, but no. He had a plan now and this could wait. If Raff was going away, it would give him and Inca time to renew their relationship. He could forgive her this misstep—couldn’t he?

  He walked silently away from the room where his lover and his brother were, and out of the house. He needed to get away, just for the evening. Needed to sate his rage somewhere else.

  And he knew just where.

  Olly Rosenbaum felt bad. He should never have said what he had to Inca—he no longer had the right. So when, the next morning, he found himself in the Sakura again, he made the point of apologizing.

  “It’s okay,” Inca said, her lovely face tired. “We all do stupid things we shouldn’t have.”

  He studied her –the dark circles under her eyes, the wan skin.” Hey, are you okay?”

  She shook her head. “No. No, I’m not, but there’s nothing you can do about it. So please, let’s not talk about it.”

  He was silent for a while. “Inks...”

  “I made a mistake.” The words came out of her in a rush. But as soon as they were out, Tommaso Winter appeared at the door.

  “Hello.”

  Inca stared at him as if she’d seen a ghost. Olly nodded stiffly. There was a long silence, and then Olly coughed. “Well, I better get to work. Later, Inks. Winter.”

  Inca mumbled a goodbye and Olly left, not looking again at Tommaso. Why did the guy get to him so much? He was Inca’s boyfriend now; he should really try and get along with him.

  Except ... he stole a look back over his shoulder. Inca looked wary, maybe even scared ... Was Winter abusing her?

  I made a mistake ...

  What the hell had she meant by that?
Olly didn’t know, but he was sure as shit going to find out.

  But a couple of hours later, Olly Rosenbaum was to discover that Tommaso Winter was not a man to be crossed. Not a man to be crossed at all.

  Later, when Tommaso had excused himself for a few minutes, and Inca had had time to collect herself, she looked up to see Scarlett coming into the teahouse.

  “Hey, numbnuts. How goes it?”

  Scarlett stuck her tongue out at her friend. She indicated behind her and Inca saw Knox and Tommaso standing outside talking—rather, Tommaso was talking at Knox, Inca observed with narrowed eyes. She sighed to herself. A second later the two men walked in and Tommaso immediately walked behind the counter to kiss Inca. She moved her head to avoid his mouth on hers, his lips brushing her cheek. She smiled at him to lessen the slight, but Tommaso’s eyes were cold as he pulled an envelope from his pocket. He pulled a sheet of paper from it and handed it to her.

  “What’s this?” Inca took the paperwork Tommaso offered her and read it through. She looked up, startled. “A restraining order?”

  Scarlett gasped. “Against whom?”

  Tommaso smiled at them, a cool, calm smile. “Rosenbaum, of course. He’s been harassing us. Harassing Inca.”

  Scarlett glanced at Inca, who looked as shocked as she felt. A couple of customers had left when the men walked in, and now the teahouse was quiet and empty except for the four of them.

  Inca got up and handed the paperwork back to Tommaso. “Tommaso … this isn’t appropriate. Olly is a friend.”

  Tommaso put a finger on her mouth. “Inca, it’s been more than that, and you know it.” He turned to the others. “I’m scared that his obsession with Inca is dangerous. Now that Kevin Harnett is behind bars, I think we have been too complacent about Inca’s safety. I truly believe Oliver Rosenbaum is the greatest threat to her.”

  Scarlett put a hand on Inca’s back. “Tommaso, you’re overreacting.”

  “Yes.” Inca was starting to get annoyed. What was he playing at?