House of the Horrible Ghosts

by Geoffrey Hayes

  5

  WHY OTTO STOPPED LAUGHING

  Otto found himself on one of the tilting floors. Behind him, the floating head sang: “Yo ho ho and a barrel of fun! I’m after you. You’d better run!”

  The tilting floor led to a moving staircase, which Otto scrambled up. At the top, he ran inside a dark room to hide. Otto could hear his heart beating … Thump! Thump! Thump!

  Then he remembered the flashlight. Otto switched it on.

  He was in the Chamber of Horrors!

  On every side stood wax figures of famous thieves and cutthroats. They were so real-looking, they almost seemed alive. One of the figures was holding a long knife in its hand. Its arm dropped, and the blade sliced past Otto’s nose!

  “Oh, blast! Missed him!” came a voice.

  Otto saw a bluish wisp of smoke take shape before his eyes. Then another … and another. Five in all. One of them was the floating head.

  “OOOooww! I get to scare him first!” said a tall, spindly fellow.

  “You’ll wait your turn,” said a mean-looking pirate. “I’m in charge here. I say who goes first.”

  “You’re not in charge … I am!” said a lady smoking a pipe. Her eyes glowed.

  “I know you!” cried Otto. “You’re the ghost Uncle Tooth and I saw last night! You must have come from The Thieving Wench!”

  “There, now … he’s guessed it,” said the lady ghost. “Such a clever little runt! I’m Mad Mag, scourge of the Seven Seas, and this here’s my crew: Shakey, Mr. Bones, Skullface, and Quee.”

  “Captain Quee, wench,” said Quee.

  “It’s my crew,” he told Otto. “Mag’s just trying to butt in.”

  Otto was excited. He was talking to real, live ghosts! “What are you doing in Boogle Bay?” he asked.

  “Why, the wind blowed us here,” said Mag. “Such a lovely place! A whole house to haunt and a whole town to scare!”

  Mr. Bones said, “For over three hundred years we’ve been forced to sail the infernal seas as punishment for our bad deeds. No ships to plunder … no people to scare! What a wretched fate!”

  “But now we’re here, and here is where we’ll stay,” declared Captain Quee. “Take over the whole park, that’s the plan.”

  “We’re going to call it Ghostland,” said Shakey. “Every ride for us to enjoy and none for you. No living people will be allowed!”

  “Our kind of amusement park,” said Skullface.

  “But that’s selfish!” said Otto.

  “Of course it is, matey—we’re pirates,” said Captain Quee.

  “Let’s make him walk the plank,” said Shakey. “We haven’t had a good plank-walking in three hundred years. Or we could boil him in oil. Or tie him to the yardarm.”

  “You can’t hurt me. You’re dead!” Otto told them with a laugh.

  “You’re right,” Mad Mag replied. “It’s one of the tragedies of being a ghost. All we can do is scare you!!!”

  The ghosts all shrieked together and made the ghastliest faces imaginable. Otto jumped two feet in the air, dropped the flashlight, and raced out of the Chamber of Horrors. He ran down a hall and into the Mirror Maze.

  Everywhere Otto turned, he bumped into reflections of himself. Outside, he could hear Captain Quee saying, “Leave the runt for now. We’ll get him when we come back.”

  Then the ghosts took off.

  “They’re heading for town,” thought Otto. “I’ve got to warn everybody! I’ve got to show Olivia I was right about that ship.”

  But he was trapped inside the Mirror Maze!

  6

  OLIVIA AND THE MIRROR MAZE

  Meanwhile, Olivia was searching for Otto. She had tried the beach. Now she was looking along the docks. She saw someone running toward her.

  He was running so fast that he almost bumped into her.

  “Doodle!”

  Ducky Doodle stopped in his tracks. “Olivia! Guess what? There’s a floating head inside the Fun House!”

  “So?”

  “No, a real floating head,” cried Ducky Doodle. “It tried to get us, but I escaped. It’s after Otto. I think he’s trapped in there.”

  “Oh, so that’s where he is!” said Olivia. “Well, I’ll get him out!”

  “What about the floating head?” asked Ducky Doodle.

  “If Otto doesn’t give me back my flashlight, the only floating head around here is going to be his!” cried Olivia. She dashed off.

  “Gee! She’s brave!” thought Ducky Doodle. “I’ll go tell Auntie Hick,” he called after her.

  “Floating heads! What nonsense!” Olivia thought. “So that’s why he wanted my flashlight. He’s doing something silly with his Monster Club!” She hurried toward the end of the wharf.

  Playland was still empty. Olivia went straight to Laugh in the Dark. The lights were off and nobody was taking tickets. Could Otto really be inside?

  “Otto?” she called through the curtained entrance. “Otto, are you in there?”

  No answer.

  Olivia went past the air jets and the spinning drums. If they were working, somebody must be inside. But it was pitch black. If only she had her flashlight!

  Otto was almost in tears. Each time he turned a corner in the Mirror Maze, he got more and more lost. “Look, I’ve been in here before and I got through, so I can do it again,” he thought. His heart was thumping again. He took a deep breath and peered at himself in a mirror. “Darn! My bow is crooked … wait a minute! I don’t wear a bow … Olivia?!!”

  “There you are!” Olivia said. “Where’s my—”

  “Am I ever glad to see you!” cried Otto.

  Olivia paused. “You are?” she asked.

  “Yes,” said Otto. “We’ve got to get out of here before the ghosts come back! We’ve got to warn the town!”

  “You’ve got ghosts on the brain,” said Olivia. “Where’s my flashlight?”

  Otto held up his hands. “Um … I lost it.”

  “You what?”

  “Look, if we can get out of this Mirror Maze, I’ll show you where I dropped it,” Otto promised.

  “That’s easy,” said Olivia. “Follow me. Couldn’t you get out by yourself?”

  Otto frowned. “Of course. I was just … investigating something.”

  Olivia led Otto out of the Mirror Maze. Otto led her into the Chamber of Horrors.

  “I think I dropped it right—”

  “Here it is!” cried Olivia, scooping up the flashlight. “You’re lucky it isn’t broken.”

  She flashed the light around the room just to make sure.

  “Come on, hurry,” Otto pleaded. “We’ve got to go!”

  “You aren’t going anywhere,” boomed a terrifying voice.

  7

  THE GHOSTS GO TO TOWN

  Auntie Hick was tidying up her Sweet Shop. Because of the fog, there hadn’t been a single customer all day. She wondered where Ducky Doodle was. He was supposed to help her get rid of some old cartons.

  Auntie Hick peered out the window. She saw that the street lamps were blinking. Suddenly, all the candy boxes and jars on her shelves began to rattle. The cash register drawer popped open.

  “It’s an earthquake!” thought Auntie Hick. She decided to hide under the counter. But when she bent down, she came face to face with … a floating head!

  “Greetings, my beauty,” it said. “My name’s Skullface—what’s yours?”

  Auntie Hick screamed. She dashed out the front door and into the street. The street lamps were still blinking.

  Sedley Mether ran up. He was clutching his ghost book.

  “It’s the most amazing thing,” he told her. “All my books are floating around the room, except this one.”

  “You think you’ve got problems,” said Auntie Hick. “My candy boxes and jars are rattling around on the shelves!”

  Sedley Mether opened his book. “Ah! Here we are! Some ghosts can make objects move. They like to play tricks. They’re called poltergeists.”

  “
Well, there’s a head without a body on the floor of my shop,” said Auntie Hick. “What do you call that?”

  Sedley Mether shivered. “I call it disgusting!”

  Ducky Doodle came hurrying toward them. “Auntie Hick! Auntie Hick! Otto’s trapped in the Fun House and Olivia’s gone to rescue him.” Suddenly, Doodle stopped dead in his tracks and pointed.

  Auntie Hick and Sedley Mether turned to see Skullface floating toward them.

  Auntie Hick, Sedley, and Doodle ran off down the street, screaming.

  In the town square, they bumped into Lord Rutherford.

  “I’m glad you’re all here,” he said. “I came to warn you that another storm is on the way.” Then he saw the floating head.

  “Horrors!” he cried.

  The other ghosts began to take shape around them. Everyone huddled together.

  “W-w-who are you and w-w-what do you want?” asked Auntie Hick.

  “I’m Mad Mag and this here’s my crew,” answered Mad Mag.

  “My crew, you mean!” bellowed Captain Quee.

  “One of these days I’m going to have to deal with you,” Mag snarled at Captain Quee.

  Uncle Tooth strolled into the square. When he saw the ghosts, the pipe dropped from his mouth.

  “More company!” said Shakey. He flew up to Uncle Tooth. “Do you scare easily?”

  “I don’t scare at all!” said Uncle Tooth.

  “Liar!” said Shakey. He twisted off his head. Skullface quickly took its place. Skullface’s teeth cracked into pieces and fell onto the cobblestones. Then he turned purple and exploded.

  “So what else is new?” said Uncle Tooth, yawning.

  “Hold on,” called Sedley Mether. “This should get rid of them.” He walked over to Mad Mag, reading from his ghost book.

  “Hexum, Hoaxum, Hoomp dum Hee!

  I command you spirits flee!

  Hoxum, Floxum, Flexum, Flo!

  I demand you spirits go!

  Hawkum, Higgum …”

  Before he could finish, Mad Mag removed her glowing eyes and threw them at Sedley. Sedley ducked. But the eyes ducked, too. They hit Sedley’s glasses and bounced off. “Bull’s-eye!” cackled Mag.

  Sedley Mether ran and huddled with the others.

  “We’re going to scare you silly, day and night,” explained Captain Quee. “This way, we get to have fun and you get to help us.”

  “Nothing doing!” responded Uncle Tooth. “This is our town. You’re just visitors here. And we want you to leave!”

  “Want all you want,” said Mad Mag. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with us, or we’re stuck with you. Now, we …”

  Before Mad Mag could finish, a gust of wind whipped through the square. Thunderclaps echoed overhead.

  “Blast! It’s a tempest!” cried Captain Quee. “Batten down the hatches! Secure the rigging! Where’s my first mate, Mr. Bones?”

  The other ghosts looked around.

  “He must have stayed behind in the amusement park,” said Shakey.

  “Well, with this storm a-brewing, we’d better go back and check on the You-Know-What,” said Captain Quee. He winked at the other ghosts.

  “You mean the little runt with the flashlight?” asked Skullface.

  “No, you idiot! The big You-Know-What!”

  “What big You-Know-What?” asked Uncle Tooth.

  Captain Quee turned to Uncle Tooth. “None of your business! Now, while we’re gone, I suggest you hide somewhere. Of course, we’ll find you. We love playing Hide-and-Go-Shriek! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

  Laughing loudly, the horrible ghosts flew off.

  “Oh, no! Otto and Olivia are at the amusement park, too!” cried Ducky Doodle. “They’re trapped in the Fun House!”

  “Then we’ve got to go rescue them,” replied Uncle Tooth. “But we’ll have to hurry. Those ghosts move faster than we can run!”

  8

  OTTO’S PLAN

  In the Fun House, Olivia beamed her flashlight toward the booming voice. Mr. Bones was sitting on top of a fake tombstone. “Glad you finally got out of that maze,” he said. “I just love to scare little kids—the younger, the better.”

  Otto was trembling. “See?” he said to Olivia. “I told you this place was haunted.”

  “I believe you,” said Olivia.

  She backed away and pulled Otto with her.

  “Two-year-olds cry so easily,” Mr. Bones went on. All you have to do is look at them. But scaring kids like you—that’s what I call a real challenge.”

  “We’re scared, all right,” replied Otto.

  “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!” Mr. Bones screamed. He hopped off the tombstone and came after them with a huge sword.

  Otto and Olivia ran into a corner. There was nowhere else to go. Mr. Bones was almost upon them. They backed against the wall. Then—PING! A trapdoor opened in the floor.

  Otto and Olivia tumbled down a chute, which turned into a bumpy slide. At the bottom, they landed on a bunch of pillows. Mr. Bones was right behind them.

  With Olivia’s flashlight, they could see the revolving drums by the door. Otto and Olivia ran as fast as they could. First the floor tilted up, then it tilted down.

  SWOOSH!! Otto could hear Mr. Bones’s sword only inches away.

  Olivia rolled off the floor, grabbed Otto’s hand, and pulled him through the revolving drums.

  The rest of the horrible ghosts were waiting for them outside.

  “Going somewhere?” asked Mad Mag.

  Otto and Olivia were really trapped now!

  The storm was rising. The winds wiped the fog away. In a flash of lightning, Otto and Olivia saw The Thieving Wench. She was floating in the sky directly over Playland. Her anchor was snagged on the top of the Ferris wheel!

  “I get it!” Otto told the ghosts. “Your ship is caught on the Ferris wheel. You have to stay here because you’re attached to the ship!”

  “Ain’t you the clever little runt,” said Mad Mag. “And as long as it’s there, we’re attached to you!”

  The ghosts all laughed.

  “You can imagine how thrilled we were when our anchor got caught,” said Shakey. “It was like our curse was over.”

  “And we mean to keep it that way,” snarled Skullface.

  Otto had an idea.

  “Look, Olivia,” he said, winking at her. “Isn’t Captain Quee’s ship awesome?”

  “What do you mean, ‘Quee’s ship’?” screeched Mad Mag. “It’s my ship!”

  “Never was and never will be, wench!” shouted Captain Quee.

  Mag shouted back. “You old windbag, if you weren’t already dead, I’d kill you!”

  Otto and Olivia slipped off while the ghosts were arguing. They ran and hid behind the dart-toss booth.

  “I’ve got a plan,” whispered Otto. “If I can get to the Ferris wheel and turn it on, The Thieving Wench might come loose and blow away.”

  “And the ghosts might be blown away, too,” Olivia whispered back. “Good plan. But how come you get to pull the switch?”

  “Because you have a very important job,” answered Otto.

  “Really? What is it?”

  “Ghost-bait.”

  “Hey!” cried Olivia. “That’s not funny!”

  “I’m not being mean,” said Otto. “Somebody’s got to keep the ghosts busy. Otherwise they won’t let me pull the switch.”

  Olivia couldn’t come up with a better plan, so she agreed to help. She hurried out from the booth.

  “There’s one of ’em!” cried Mr. Bones.

  “Leave me alone, you fleshless freak!” Olivia called. “I’m in a bad mood!”

  “A bad mood?” said Mad Mag. “That’s my favorite kind. Well, I can make it worse!”

  She flew after Olivia.

  “Shut up, you old bat!” screamed Olivia.

  The ghosts were so angry that they forgot all about the ship and Otto. Olivia ran around in circles with the ghosts hot on her trail.

  Otto sneaked over to the Ferr
is wheel. He ducked under the chain. OUT OF ORDER said the sign. “Darn! I forgot about that!” thought Otto. “Hmm … Maybe the ghosts put the sign there to keep people away.” He grabbed the switch and pulled and pulled. He tried pushing. He tried hitting—but the switch wouldn’t budge.

  Otto heard a scream. He looked across the park. The horrible ghosts had Olivia trapped in the shooting gallery. She looked terrified!

  Otto ducked under the chain and sped toward the ghosts. He waved his arms and yelled, “Leave her alone, you creeps!”

  The ghosts turned to face him.

  “So there you are, runt!” cried Mag.

  While the ghosts were looking at Otto, Olivia slipped free. She tore off toward the Ferris wheel.

  Otto saw her. “Hey!” he called. “That’s my job!”

  He ran after her. “Don’t! I want to do it!”

  When the ghosts realized what Otto and Olivia were up to, they came after them with horrid yelps and squeals and screams.

  Olivia ducked under the chain and grabbed the switch.

  It still wouldn’t move.

  Otto was coming closer.

  So were the ghosts!

  With a flying leap, Otto landed on top of Olivia … and the switch!

  CRACK!!! The switch moved! The cars swayed. The motor creaked.

  The big wheel began to turn.

  The horrible ghosts stopped in their tracks and looked up.

  Just then, Uncle Tooth, Auntie Hick, and the others burst into Playland. They looked up, too. “Well, I’ll be!” said Uncle Tooth.

  The Thieving Wench rolled to one side. The anchor came loose. Like a giant balloon, the ghastly ship flew upward on the crest of the wind.

  “Nooooo! I don’t believe it!” cried Mr. Bones.

  “Not again!!” said Skullface.

  “Our freedom taken from us!” yelled Mad Mag. She was pulled after the ship.

  “By a couple of scurvy brats!” wailed Shakey. He was pulled up, too. All the horrible ghosts were being tugged away, after the departing ship.

  Last to go was Captain Quee. “I shall never surrender!” he bellowed. “Take me alive, or take me dead … oh, wait, I am dead! No matter. I shall never surrender!”