Blood on the Moon

by Jennifer Knight

  I nodded jerkily.

  He slammed the door shut and I watched him run so fast he was just a blur of tremors. I stared through the dirty glass window, watching the night overcome the woods. I felt Derek come to stand behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder and spun me around.

  “What in the hell was that about?” he asked. “Who was that guy? And why are we in this cabin? Why didn’t he take us back to the ski rental place?”

  I put my hand over his mouth and said, “I can’t tell you.”

  Derek’s eyebrows pulled into a frown.

  “Shh,” I hissed. “Don’t. Just believe me when I say you don’t want to know about it. You really don’t.”

  Derek peeled my hand from his mouth and said, “No. I definitely do. I want to know.”

  “If I tell you, it’ll put me in danger. Do you want that?”

  Derek’s eyes became alarmed. “What the hell is this, Faith? Is this about Lucas? Did he get you into this?”

  I took Derek’s face and forced my eyes into his. “Listen to me, Derek. If you love me, and I know you do, then you’ll trust me when I say that you do not want to know about this. Please, just trust me, okay?”

  Derek stared me down for a long moment, his eyes like sapphires, hard and unrelenting in his stubbornness. But then they softened and became fluid, possibly recognizing how desperate I was to make him believe me. “Okay,” he said finally. “But only because I love you.”

  I smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

  I let go of Derek’s cheeks and looked around. Dust coated everything in the one-room cabin. A small kitchenette-looking thing stood in the corner, cabinets left open with cobwebs filling the spots where the food should have been. My stomach growled just looking at the toppled-over refrigerator. A torn up couch stood in the center of the room along with a damaged table and a few dead mice. I wrinkled my nose.

  There was a fireplace on one side of the room and a pile of logs near it. I pointed to it and Derek began stacking logs in the fireplace. I stood behind him, shivering, when I thought of something that crushed the hope for warmth right out of me.

  “No matches,” I said.

  Derek reached into his pocket and grabbed a cigarette lighter. He grinned at me from over his shoulder.

  “Ew,” I said. “You’re smoking now?”

  Derek put the flame to the logs and avoided looking at me. “Only a little with Mark. Not anymore since . . .”

  “That’s disgusting, Derek.”

  Derek tucked the lighter away. “Yeah, but I bet you’re pretty glad I’m so gross now, huh?”

  I rolled my eyes and kicked his thigh lightly.

  It took some work, but Derek finally got a decent fire going. When he was done, he tossed another log into the fireplace and sat down in front of it. I crashed next to him, still shaking with cold.

  Or possibly fear.

  “You know what this place reminds me of?” Derek asked.

  “Hmm?”

  “That time we drove down to Tijuana for spring break.”

  A smile broke across my face and I groaned, remembering. “You mean the hacienda we stayed in with Charlie and Gregg?” It hadn’t been so much better than this shack we were in now. In fact, it might have been worse.

  “Yeah,” Derek said, laughing a little. “And Gregg was so drunk he barfed in the oven.”

  “Ugh!” I groaned again, throwing my hands over my face.

  “And we stayed up all night talking because you were scared of the rats.”

  I laughed, but then we fell silent, remembering the good times we used to have together. The times we had before Derek began wanting things I couldn’t give him.

  “Can I ask just one thing?” Derek said, looking off into the flames.

  “Okay, but I reserve the right to refrain from answering if it’ll put me in danger.”

  Derek looked me up and down incriminatingly. “Why do we have to stay in this hellhole all night long?”

  I sucked in a breath and held it, giving him a pleading look.

  “Can’t tell me?”

  I shook my head.

  “Well, then I get another question.”

  I let the breath out and motioned for him to continue.

  “How do you know that ski lift guy?”

  I scratched the back of my neck, thinking about how best to word my response. “He’s Lucas’s brother,” I said at last. “His name is Julian.”

  Derek nodded slowly. “You said you didn’t know who he was.”

  “Technically, I don’t. That was the first time I’d ever met him.”

  Derek nodded some more and lay down on his side, facing me. He propped his head on his elbow and looked up. “How did he know where to find us?”

  I winced and pressed my lips together.

  “Okay, okay,” Derek said. “But just so you know, this sucks.”

  “I know. I’m so cold.”

  Derek held his arms open. I hesitated, worried that letting him hold me would give him the wrong impression, but I was freezing so I lowered myself down against him, my back to his chest. We stayed that way, listening to the sound of the fire crackling and the wind shearing the snow off of the trees with its raw power. It howled through the branches, sounding like wolves crying, or possibly something much worse. I watched the snow pelt the windowpane, sliding down in clumps of ice.

  “I’ve missed you like crazy,” Derek whispered in my ear. I felt his hot breath on my neck, giving me chills. “I hate fighting with you, but it seems like that’s all we can do lately.”

  “I hate it, too. I wish things could be like they used to be before we screwed them up. We used to be good back when we were only friends.” I hesitated, wanting to ask something I’d been thinking about for a year. But if ever there was a time to ask, now was it—we seemed to have all night to ourselves. Time to fix the things we’d broken.

  “Why did you do it?” I asked quietly. “Why did you cheat on me?”

  Derek let out a long breath. “I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that, will I?”

  “You broke my heart.”

  “I’ve told you, it was a stupid mistake. It didn’t mean anything.” He hesitated and then said cautiously, “Besides, what happened between us . . . It wasn’t all me.”

  “I never cheated on you,” I said hotly.

  “I know, but you . . . you hid yourself from me.”

  I was silent, trying to understand.

  “It was like there was this part of yourself that you wouldn’t give me,” he went on softly. “And it was so frustrating and heartbreaking . Because I loved you so much, and every time you refused to say it back it killed me.”

  “Derek, you know why I was like that. I thought you understood.”

  “I do. But I also remember the girl I knew before that. The one who was so filled with joy, who smiled all the time and was never afraid to show me how much she cared. I remember that girl and I miss her. I tried so hard to get you to go back to that. I wanted to be the person to put the light back in your eyes. But I couldn’t. And now I see the way you look at that guy. You look at him like ... well, like the way I wanted you to look at me. Like you loved me. I can’t help but feel like maybe you’ve healed? And now we can be together, be happy like we used to be.”

  I hated hearing Derek so sad, and I hated that I’d caused him pain, but the fact remained that he’d cheated on me. Not the other way around. And I was still angry about it, even if I’d told him I wasn’t. There was no way I could consider being with him again until we straightened that out. Even then, I didn’t know if I believed in love anymore. What Derek said about me looking at Lucas had to be wrong. I didn’t love Lucas. But I had loved Derek, even if I couldn’t admit it.

  “I know I told you I forgave you for cheating,” I said. “But the truth is that I never really got over it. That’s why we can’t be together, Derek. That’s why I said no out on the La Poudre. It’s not because I don’t love you, or that I don’t want you, like
you said. It’s because I just can’t trust you again.” I shook my head. “We were perfect for each other and you ruined it.” I heard the ugly note of bitterness in my voice, but it felt good telling Derek the truth. I craned my neck around to look at him.

  His face was set in a grimace. “I know I did. And I’ve been trying to fix it ever since, but I can’t, can I?”

  “I don’t think so, Derek. Things between us—they’ll never be the same and we just have to accept that.”

  “What if I don’t accept it?” He lifted himself onto his elbow and I looked up into his eyes, desperate and agonized. “What if I never stop trying to fix us? What if I’ll always love you, always wait for you? What then?” He reached down and took my hand, squeezing gently. “If I have to spend my whole life making up for hurting you, I’ll do it. I love you that much. And this time I’ll wait for you to say the words; I’ll wait forever. I just want to be with you.”

  I couldn’t speak through the tears that welled in my eyes and spilled over my cheeks.

  Derek wiped them away with his thumb, holding my face. “I’m sorry for what I did to you, Faith. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I know I’ve said all this before, but maybe now you’ll believe me. And if you don’t, I’ll say it again and again, every day for the rest of my life. Please, forgive me.”

  Derek wrapped his arms around me and I closed my eyes, trying to make myself do it. Trying to force my heart to believe the words I said over and over in my head, Forgive him, forgive him.

  But I couldn’t. Because I could still remember all too clearly the searing pain that tore through my heart when Derek had told me he’d kissed that slutty cheerleader after the football game. I could feel the shattered pieces of trust I’d gathered after my stepdad’s betrayal ripping my world apart. I could see myself standing outside the football field with my books in my arms, Derek sweating from practice, his face pale and his eyes filled with tears. I could hear him apologizing over and over, just like he was now.

  The words had meant nothing then, and they meant just as much now.

  I could never trust Derek with my heart after that.

  “I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I still can’t—”

  “Can’t you just try?” he whispered. Derek bent his head toward me again, and I felt my spine tingle. He began to whisper in my ear, “Don’t you remember that kiss? Just try it.... Remember how my lips felt, my hands touching your skin, my body up against yours, just like it is now. I know you liked it. I felt you kissing me back. Don’t you want it to be like that, always? Come on, baby, just try.”

  I felt like I was melting. His words sunk into me and buried themselves in my heart. I wanted them to be right, to feel at home there, but it felt all wrong somehow, as though the words had invaded a place that was already taken.

  “I don’t want to try,” I whispered. “And I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t—”

  “Yes, you can. Trust is a choice, Faith. Just like forgiveness. If you choose to, you can let yourself go, forgive me for that one stupid mistake and trust me again. Just let go, let yourself fall. I promise I’ll be there to catch you.”

  I smiled slightly. My face was so close to his; I saw the little scar on his chin where he’d fallen down the bleachers at practice.

  “That’s such a cliché,” I said, teasing him.

  He smiled too, but his eyes were pleading with me. “It’s a cliché because it’s true. I’m here. I’ve always been here.” He searched my face, waiting for me to say something.

  But I didn’t know what to say. I pulled back from him and his hands held onto my arms. He didn’t want to let go.

  He didn’t want to let go.

  Let go, let go.

  The words continued to ring in my ears.

  Let go, let go, let go.

  But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let go.

  I couldn’t. But he could. He had to be the one to do it. If I let Derek go, he’d never accept it. But if he was the one to lose his love for me, then he could finally move on. Then one day, maybe we could be friends again.

  “Derek,” I said. “You have to let me go.”

  He started to shake his head to argue with me, but I put my hand over his mouth.

  “I’m broken,” I said. “I know that. I’ve known that ever since . . . ever since . . .” I couldn’t say the words. I regrouped. “But you can’t fix me, Derek. You’re not the one who can fix me. I’m sorry you have to let me go.”

  Derek was silent for a moment. I took my hand away from his mouth and his eyes deepened into a frown.

  “Not the one? I’m not the one who can fix you?” He sat up, and his face ripped into fury. “I’ve always been the one, Faith. I’ve always been there for you, since the very beginning when I beat up that kid on the playground. I was there for you when you lost everything and I was still there after you put yourself together again. Yes, I screwed up once. But that was over two years ago and I’ve apologized more than enough times. Ever since then, I’ve been here, standing in front of you. Loving you. Waiting for you. Waiting all these years and racking my brains out trying to figure out how to make you realize that you love me back. And now I find out I’m not the one? I’ve never been the one? Well, who the hell is the one, Faith? Is there ever going to be a man that’ll be enough for you? That’ll fill this space you’ve got in your damaged heart? Or are you just determined to be miserable?”

  “I’m not miserable,” I said in a small voice. “I’m happy when you’re not being like this.”

  “Like what?” he spat. “Telling you the truth? Just because you won’t face it doesn’t make it any less true!”

  I sat up. “No, I’m happy when you’re not trying to make me feel something I just don’t feel anymore.”

  Derek let out a noise that sounded like a growl and he stood, heading for the door. His hand touched the doorknob.

  I scrambled to my feet.

  “No!” I screamed and pummeled him. We both fell to the dusty floor, tangled up together in a mess of coats and scarves and limbs.

  “Get off!” Derek yelled, shoving me away. “I’m not sitting in this godforsaken cabin with you any longer.” He grabbed the door handle again, and I threw myself around his waist.

  “You go out there and you die,” I said fiercely.

  Derek grabbed my arms and got in my face. “I’d rather freeze to death out there, than spend one more second with a bitch like you.”

  My body went limp.

  For a moment Derek’s eyes shone with something close to agony. Then his lips curled into a snarl, and he launched himself into the storm.

  I stood in the doorway, frozen both literally and figuratively. The snow bit my face and Derek’s words shredded my heart. Then the distant sound of footsteps crunching in the snow met my ears and I yelled into the swirling mess of snowflakes and wind.

  “Derek! Come back! I’m sorry, just come back!” I started to cry. I bounced on my feet, clawing at the doorframe, trying to force myself into the night. I had to make Derek come back. Vincent was out there, he had to be by now. He would kill Derek.

  I pumped myself up. Okay. Go. Run out there, Faith. Save your friend.

  GO!

  I ran headfirst into the night, screaming for Derek. The wind was insane—it snarled hair into my mouth, choking me. It beat against my eardrums and prevented me from hearing anything at all.

  Which meant Derek couldn’t hear me either.

  I ran around in circles, trying to keep an eye on the cabin, all the while searching, praying, begging.

  That’s when I heard it.

  That laughter—that low, hideous laughter. It seemed to come from behind me, so I turned and tried to see through the snow. The shadow of a tall form stood in the light pouring from the cabin. It walked toward me, slowly ... ever so slowly.

  Then I saw a pair of eyes, black and inhuman.

  The eyes of a vampire.

  15

  FANGS

  I tried to scream
, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but stare into the pallid face illuminated before me. Vincent Stone. His lips were spread into a cruel smile and his fangs were barred, dripping with blood.

  My hand flew to my mouth. Derek!

  Vincent was standing over me now, his gloveless hand covering my cheek. It was cold, so much colder than the air. Dead.

  “I have been waiting,” Vincent said. Somehow I could hear him perfectly over the wind.

  “What did you do to Derek?” I yelled, determined not to go down as a wilted flower.

  Vincent’s smiled deepened. “Oh, your little friend is just fine.” He pointed to the cabin behind us, and I saw Derek’s limp form draped over the doorstep. His head was bleeding. Badly.

  I started toward him, but Vincent cut me off with a movement so quick it was impossible. I glared up at him.

  “He had better be alive,” I said viciously.

  “Oh, he is. He is perfectly fine. Actually, it is lucky for me that you had him with you.”

  “And why is that?” I asked. I kept my eyes on Derek, hoping to see him move. Praying he would move. If I could just get past Vincent and into the cabin, we’d be safe. I had to keep him talking, keep him distracted like I’d done with Mark.

  Vincent rubbed his thumb over my cheek. “How else could I lure you outside when you murdered my little aide?”

  I jerked my head away. I knew he was talking about Mark, but I feigned innocence. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Please wake up, Derek. Wake up and go inside.

  Vincent sighed heavily, ignoring me. “Do you know the cruelest part about losing my emotions to death, dear Faith?”

  “No. I don’t have that particular problem.”

  Vincent entangled his fingers in my hair and said, “The cruelest part is that while I cannot feel a thing other than hatred and bloodlust, I am fully and painfully aware of everyone else’s emotions. For instance, I can imagine the concern for that boy whimpering in your heart. I can almost feel the scalding hatred you hold for me.” He tugged on my hair with a swift jerk. “And then, of course, the warm lull of all-consuming love you feel for Whelan is as clear in my memory as if I could feel it myself.”