Wicked Games (Bad Reputation)

by Dylan Heart

  “Why would you do something like that?”

  I pause for a moment, but come to terms with the truth. There’s that five-letter word again. “Because we’re terrible people.” She nods, but I know it’s a lot to take in. “You’re going to do what you’re going to do, but go home now and really think about it. I don’t want you to turn into me.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” she speaks those words with such conviction, but her eyes travel to the front door, to her freedom. The bathroom door clicks and I twist my head to watch, waiting for Brick to come through the bedroom door.

  But it’s a door shutting behind me that steals my attention. When I look back over to Tyra, she’s gone and a victorious smile creeps slowly across my lips. I don’t know which outcome gives me more pleasure—the fact that I’ve ruined any chance Brick had with her, or the fact that I’ve saved her from a lifetime of pain only the devil himself can cause.

  “Where’s Tyra?” Brick asks. I don’t think he’s prepared to know I can play this game as dirty—or dirtier—than him.

  “Half-way to Mexico if she has any common sense.”

  “Huh.” He snaps the button of his jeans and leans against the bar of the kitchen. “What did you do?”

  “Interference is a part of the game now, apparently.”

  “Says who?”

  “Cece said you had a surprise for me.”

  “That girl is a twit.” He laughs and strokes his chin. “But, I figured she could come in handy down the road.” He wags a finger at me. “Nice catch with that one.”

  “What are you planning?” I ask without a grain of emotion left in my voice. “What else are you going to take away from me?”

  “Nothing.” I don’t believe him, opting to give him the death stare. “I swear. I knew she would tell you that little bit of information and you’d come running back to me.”

  “This goes past being a game for you.”

  “Smokebomb, it ceased being a game when you fell in love with him.” He jerks away from the bar and paces toward me, placing his palm on my shoulder when he arrives. “Everything I do is to protect you.”

  “I don’t feel protected.” I swat his hand away from me. “I feel betrayed by the one man I have always counted on.” There’s gravel in my throat as the emotions I’ve tried shutting off make a triumphant, and overbearing return.

  “You’ll get over it in time.” His emerald eyes meet mine, full of desire. “Do you want to make your appointment now?”

  “For what?”

  “Our fuck date.” He bites into his lip and growls, “I’m going to fuck you so good, the word Jensen will no longer register in your pretty little brain.”

  “You are out of your damn mind if you think I’m sleeping with you.”

  “That was the bet, wasn’t it?”

  “I broke his heart.” I shrug as if I don’t care, but my swollen eyes tell a different story. “I won.”

  “It goes a little different in Cece’s version. She said he was red with rage as he stormed away from you. That’s not heartbreak. That’s anger. There’s a difference.”

  “I came here to tell you to stay away from me.” I push my hand against his chest as he tries to move in to suffocate me with his undeniable charisma. “We’re finished.”

  “You’re full of shit,” he says through a sly grin. He knows everything about me. He knows I can’t live without him. He has to be wrong, and for that to happen, I need to break myself free from the grip he has on me.

  “Maybe…” I say somberly and turn to the door, prepared to start a new life, a life worth living far away from the trenches of this never-ending war.

  “Where the fuck are you going?” he barks, and I turn to him one last time.

  “I’ll know when I get there.”

  “Don’t walk out that door.”

  “Stop me.” It’s a challenge, and I’m torn between my new-found values and the girl from yesterday. I wish I could charge out that door without a second thought, but in doing so, I’m running away from safety. I’m running away from him—he’s my home. I try and see the road ahead, but it’s an empty mirage of sleepy back roads.

  “You’re going to pay for this,” he seethes.

  “I never do…”

  And I walk out the door. I wish I were stronger. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts running through my head, thoughts of going right back in that door. Every step toward the elevator is a step toward a new life. Fear runs through my veins, forcing my body into a perilous state of shaking.

  It’s a testament to what I’ve lost when I don’t rush out of the elevator before the hydraulic doors come to a close. My stomach drops as the elevator begins its long descent to the ground floor.

  The tears start again after ten floors, and I’m unable to show this vulnerable face to the world. I’ve seen where being vulnerable gets you, and it’s not a road I want to go down again. Not today. I slam my finger against the emergency stop button and slide my back against the wall until my feet are kicked across the floor.

  This is the lowest I’ve ever been, and I’m ten floors from hitting rock bottom.

  Chapter 29

  Two drinks sit on the bar in front of me—whiskey on the rocks and a mimosa. I’m torn between two worlds as I stare the glasses down. One of them smells like warm summer days on the patio of my house. The other, a sobering reminder of a declaration of love on the salty shores of Carolina Beach.

  The bar is empty on this weekday night. I’m parked on a stool while the bartender toggles through his phone down the way. He doesn’t know me. He hasn’t seen the leaked video of me in my most vulnerable state. But he could. Every person I cross paths with towers over me as if they hold something above my head—the illicit truth that they are better than me.

  I can’t show my face on campus again, and my proudest moment stands in the lines of jeopardy. Walking in graduation this summer is no longer something to look forward to, if graduation happens at all.

  That new ‘A’ on my transcript is going to be eyed with scrutiny, but what I must now face is nothing compared to what Jensen stands to lose.

  I don’t know what brought me to this bar. The same bar Jensen took me on my first, and last, day of working as his assistant. It reminds me of him, but more than that, it reminds me that there are places in this world where you can get away from all the noise, and all the confusion.

  “Are you going to drink that?” Jensen asks from behind me, pointing to the glass of whiskey.

  I stare him down, shocked that he’s here, standing behind me. My first instinct is to run, but I don’t have the energy. It never crossed my mind he’d show up here, but I should’ve known. It’s his safe place. “I’m considering my options.”

  “Do you mind if I take a seat?”

  I answer with my hand, a gesture telling him he’s welcome to take a seat. He swipes the glass off the bar and downs it in a quick gulp. “I’m suspended indefinitely, pending an investigation.” He wipes the alcohol from his lips with the back of his palm. “I worked so hard for this life and it’s vanished overnight.”

  “I had nothing to do with that video.” I palm the glass in front of me, opting to stare into the creamy yellow concoction, because I can’t bear to look at him.

  “I know.” His voice is haunted and low. “Some people are content to roll around in their own filth. Other people can’t live with guilt as easily.” I’m not sure which one of those people he believes me to be. I can’t even tell the difference myself. “Your friend Cece is one of those people. She told me everything. Brick hid a camera in your room and she took the video and uploaded it to the school’s servers.”

  “She’s not my friend,” I hiss. “I don’t have friends.”

  “That’s a shame. She is—was such a good girl.” He swipes the drink from my hand and chugs it. I let him do it, not being able to bring myself to care about anything. “You and your boyfriend almost ruined her.”

  “Stop calling him th
at,” I scoff at him and shift my eyes.

  “I won’t pretend to understand it, because it’s so foreign and so vile to me.” Ouch. “I hate myself for even entertaining the idea I could forgive you so easily, but my heart would never forgive me if I didn’t try.”

  “You don’t owe me anything.”

  “How can I love you so much? It makes no sense on a multitude of levels. I’ve known for you less than two weeks, and in that time, you have hurt me so much.” He shakes his head and purses his lips, confusion and pain blending into a beautiful cocktail of a broken smile. “But that hurt is nothing compared to the way you make me feel. You make me feel alive on the off-occasions where you aren’t actively trying to dismantle my life.”

  “You don’t love me, Jensen. You just think you do.” I bow my head and collect myself. I want nothing more than to be with him again, but I’m terrified of all the ways I could hurt him. “I’m not good for you.”

  “You’re right about that, but don’t presume to know what I’m thinking, or how I’m feeling.” His hand falls to my chin and tilts my head up. “I’ve struggled all day, going through a sea of changing emotions. From anger, to heartbreak to this painful knife being ripped through my gut.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I’m boarding a flight to California tomorrow. I’m leaving at noon.”

  “I hope you find happiness out there.”

  “I was kind of hoping I could bring it with me.” His fingers stroke through my hair, and an inquisitive smile lurks across his face. “Come with me, Apple.”

  “That’s a terrible idea.” I pull away from his touch and hop off the stool.

  “Probably, but I’ve spent so much time playing it safe, I’m ready to take a gamble.”

  “I’m a losing proposition.” I throw my hands to the air, and raise my voice with seeds of anger. Not toward him, but toward myself. “I’m a royal flush. You’ll never catch me. You’ll never win.”

  “Here I thought a royal flush was the best hand you could get in poker.”

  “It was a metaphor. A terrible one, but a metaphor none the less.”

  “I caught that.”

  “You’re better off without me.”

  “Why can’t I decide what’s right and wrong for me?” He shakes his head and his eyes narrow in on me.

  “Because you’re blinded by this.” I gesture to his heart.

  He reaches for my hand, pulling it flush against his chest. “Can you feel it?”

  “It’s beating, which is obvious because you’re not dead.”

  “It’s beating fast. Almost too fast, like it’s hard to breathe whenever you’re around. I’m old enough and wise enough to know what I want, and I’m in agreement with my heart here.”

  “Do you love me?” I want the whole, honest truth. It’d be easier if he says he doesn’t, because I can walk out of this bar with no strings attached to anyone or anything in this life. I can have a fresh start, another chance to become somebody else.

  “All signs point to yes, but maybe I’m wrong. I’d rather take a chance and figure that out later.” He places a hand across my cheek, a subtle signal of affirmation. “We can be happy together, far away from the bullshit and the pain of this place.”

  That’s all I needed to hear. His answer is the perfect tightrope between hope and doubt. He’s not blind to who I’m capable of being and that’s important to me. “I’ll go.”

  “I’ve always wanted to join the mile-high club.” He bites into his lip and caresses my cheek, and I enjoy the light-hearted gesture.

  I roll my eyes. “Only if you’re on your best behavior.”

  “Oh baby, don’t you know… I’ve got one hell of a bad reputation.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  And I kiss him, finding solace in the taste of his lips I knew I’d never taste again.

  Chapter 30

  For the thirtieth time today, my phone rings, vibrating against the grey cloth seat beside me. For the twenty-ninth time today, I grab the phone and decline the call. Brick is desperate to reach me, but I’m even more desperate to keep him out of my way.

  I’ve made up my mind, and I’m leaving today with Jensen. I don’t know for how long, or where exactly we’re going, but I know it’s the only thing that makes sense. But it can be easily undone with one glimpse of my past in the rearview mirror.

  Brick has to stay behind me at all times.

  The gas light indicator has been flashing for the last five miles. I’m already running behind schedule to meet Jensen at the airport, but I’m going to have to pull over soon. I take a sharp right turn into a franchised gas station and pull up to the pump.

  I pop the door open and slide out of the car and onto the pavement. There’s a white note taped over the card reader: Pay Inside.

  I groan to myself, slam the car door shut and rush past a line of pumps. An elderly man holds the glass door open and I jog into the convenience store, taking my place behind the one-person line.

  My fingers tap against my short shorts as I wait impatiently and check my phone for the time. The home screen fades away into another incoming call from Brick. I swipe my finger across the phone, denying him access to me once more.

  When the tall man in front of me is done paying for his goods—two energy drinks and a pack of skittles—he turns to me, and I’m back at square one, facing my past.

  “Apple,” Dom says with a glowing smile. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  I can see my ghostly reflection in the mirror behind the cashier, full of guilt and beyond tired. “Hi.”

  “How are you?” He pushes his fist against my shoulder playfully. “Still kicking ass and taking names?”

  “Something like that.” I force a smile and step up to the register, handing the cashier a twenty and pointing to my car. “Twenty on pump four.”

  “You’re all set,” the kind man behind the register says and smiles.

  I march past Dom and push through the doors. He follows close behind and I wish he would leave me alone.

  “Are you in a rush?” he asks from behind me.

  I reach the pump, make my selection and grab the nozzle. “I’m running behind.”

  “I’ll leave you alone as soon as you’re done pumping.” He raises his hand in the air. “Swear to God.”

  I push the nozzle into the tank of the car and flip the switch so it’ll do all the work by itself. “I’m leaving town, Dom.”

  He jerks his head back, confused. “Don’t you have classes?”

  My tongue brushes nervously across my lips. “I have to get out of this place,” I stammer. “I have to do it before I’m unable to.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “You’re a good guy, and that’s why I’m going to tell you this.” I tap my foot, look away and let out a deep, long exhale. “You remember that video of you that was released.”

  “How could I forget?” The pain we caused him all those years ago is still visible when darkness passes over his eyes. “I still can’t bring myself to step back onto that campus.”

  My lips tremble, preparing for a revelation that could leave one more victim in the dust of my sordid past. “Your brother and I were the ones who released it.”

  “No.” He snorts and shakes his head, but a knowing look falls upon his face. “No. I don’t believe you.”

  “I was in love with Mason in high school,” I continue, but my heart breaks into tiny shards of glass as I watch the truth sink into him. “Brick used you to get to him. I could have stopped it, but I didn’t.”

  He’s quiet. Silent. Jensen was wrong, I guess. Silence isn’t always beautiful. Right now, it feels like the death knell to my soul. “You were supposed to be my friend.” His lips shake and he bats a finger against his eye. “And Brick?”

  “I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I’m sorry.”

  “Get in that car and go wherever the fuck it is that you’re going.” His voice is crying, but no tears
fall upon his cheeks. I know that feeling, when you’re so consumed with rage that you wipe away the tears that aren’t there. The fire of anger burns them into vapor before they are born into existence. “I’ll deal with my brother.”

  “I’m sorry,” I reiterate in the softest voice in my arsenal. This feels like it’s the last stop on my city-wide apology tour. Those two words seem to lose more meaning with every instance.

  “I’ll forgive you someday, but right now…” He shakes his head again and backs away from the car. “You need to get out of my face before I do something stupid.”

  I nod in understanding and hurry into my car. I’m going to be late, but at this point… It doesn’t even matter.

  Chapter 31

  When I pull up to the curb at the airport, I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to say. In my head, I know what needs to be said, but my thoughts are so jumbled, it’ll be a miracle if I’m able to get one word out.

  I see Jensen waiting for me, with everything he’ll need packed into a single suitcase. He smiles and shakes his head, like he’s in disbelief I was actually going to show. This should be the start of something new, but I’m about to steer this relationship into something old.

  I push the shifter into park and climb out of the car.

  “Pop your trunk and I’ll get your bags.”

  “Wait,” I say and circle around the car. “I can’t go with you.”

  “What?” His throat tenses and his eyes jump in his head. “I don’t accept that.”

  “Everywhere I go, I leave a trail of destruction in my wake.” In the last few weeks alone; Jensen, Cece, Tyra, and Brick have all suffered because of my actions. Brick isn’t innocent, I’m not turning a blind eye to what he’s done, but he’s a part of this. “I’ve hurt too many people, and if I leave here today with you, then it’s as if I’m saying I forgive myself. Leaving with you would be a reward for my bad behavior.”

  “Don’t do this to me…”