Hold Me If You Can

by Stephanie Rowe

  “I’m sorry. Right, you can do it.” But of course he couldn’t. Those poison blades were like her deedub curse. He would take out everyone in the room. He was just like her. Unable to control the lethal beast inside.

  “Hey! Don’t give me that look.” He gripped her arms and gave her a determined look of unflappable self-confidence. “I’m done fearing my dark side, and I’m going to make it work for me. I used my art to control it, and it’s working.” He grinned. “I’m going to let it all go, and it’s all going to go just fine.” He tapped her forehead. “And you’re going to do it too. You have to work Mari over until she takes the smut off you. I distract Smutty. Two-pronged attack. It has to happen, and it has to happen now.”

  Well, that was great that he believed in her, and she wanted to jump and help take down the bad guys, but there was a fundamental flaw with that plan. “Even if I could call up my powers at will, it’s nearly impossible to influence someone who doesn’t want it. It has to be a cooperative event—”

  Nigel yanked her close and kissed her. Hard. With fierce passion. Then he thrust her toward Mari, turned toward Smutty, and held his hands up to the sky. “Bring it on,” he shouted.

  And then the blades began to fly.

  Natalie stared in awe as the implements erupted from Nigel’s body. They were glowing red, they were twisting and turning, living entities seeking life to exterminate. She could practically see their teeth, she could almost feel their black hearts, could sense the darkness of their intention and their energy.

  She ducked as one flew toward her, but it diverted at the last second, careened over Mari’s head and slammed into Smutty. Natalie covered her head as more blades swirled around like a swarm of furious wasps, but then she realized that none of them were coming near her. No matter what direction they came out of Nigel’s body, they were all spinning around and hammering Smutty.

  He was controlling them.

  Somehow, someway, Nigel had figured out how to harness them. Sudden hope swelled inside her, and power rolled through her. If Nigel could do it, so could she. I can do it!

  The dream genie leapt to his feet and started ripping them out, but the blades were coming faster than he could manage. Faster and faster. Nigel was winning the battle and—

  A two-toned pink wolverine with nine-inch claws, matching teeth, and a fuchsia hair bow launched itself through the doorway and landed on Nigel’s back. “Nigel!”

  “I’m okay, sweetie!” He waved cheerfully as another beast and another hammered him to the ground. “This part is fun. You just go do your thing.” Nigel’s knives went right through them, harmlessly, as if they had been bred to withstand his attack, which they probably had. Smutty leapt to his feet and flung his hand toward Nigel.

  Nigel staggered, and his hand went to his head as Smutty attacked his mind again.

  Okay, enough observation. It was time for her to step up. She fisted her hands and turned toward Mari. “Call them off! Shut down the magic!”

  Mari didn’t even look at her, and Natalie heard the scrabble of more feet. Pain clubbed Natalie’s belly, and she stumbled, gripping her stomach. Her hand was curving into a claw. A real claw, with black scales and tainted nails.

  Okay, fine, if Nigel was going to tap into his inner beast, then so was she.

  She faced Mari, steeled herself, and then dropped her resistance to the monster within. Claws burst out of her fingers, scales ripped down her back, and her nostrils grew larger than any woman should ever have to be burdened with. The energy felt deliciously powerful, and she recognized it, not as a monster, but as that same feeling of unstoppable delight that she’d experienced as Orgasm Queen and as a deedub. And for the first time, she saw it through a nonjudgmental mind, and she saw that the power within her wasn’t the poison, it wasn’t the curse, it wasn’t the monster.

  The power within was her own energy. It was her Mystic power. It had manifested in a negative way because she’d locked it down so fiercely. But now, as she tapped into it and allowed it to be what it really wanted to be, it was different. It was hers. It was working for her, not against her. She breathed deeply, let the lure of chocolate race through her, let her fangs elongate, and she let out a loud hiss that, well, was just fun.

  Mari finally looked at her, and she grinned. “Hello, my new smut dump. Don’t you know you can’t hurt me? It’s a natural safeguard—”

  “Mari!” Natalie’s voice thundered out over the room, and the walls shook with the force of her voice. Holy crapoly! That rocked. This was what she was meant to be. She strode across the room and parked her face right in Mari’s personal space. “You will call off the wolverines right now.”

  Mari’s gaze swiveled to her, and her face was wary. “What are you doing?”

  Shit. It wasn’t working. Natalie could feel the power in her voice, but Mari didn’t want to be influenced. Oh, yeah? Nice try, Mari. She grabbed Mari’s face, and she summoned all of her own willpower and thrust it into her words. “You will call off the wolverines.”

  But more came in the door, and another off-load of smut crashed through Natalie. Argh! It wasn’t working. They were losing. There had to be something else she could do! Something she was missing. But what was it?

  Chapter 26

  Yeah, so Nigel’s decision was final.

  He was never getting a pet. Finding joy in four-legged creatures had simply been ruined for him.

  Teeth scoured his back, and he grimaced as another creature leapt onto his shoulders. His head felt like an anvil had been smacked into his head. Yeah, sure, this used to be fun, but now that he’d realized what it was like to find peace with Natalie, this kind of thing had kind of lost its appeal.

  He’d moved on. Good to know. Who says men can’t evolve?

  Time to ditch these puppies, and now. Nigel threw another set of barbs at Smutty. The dream genie staggered under the attack, and the pressure on Nigel’s mind eased slightly. He had room to think. “Nat? How’s it going over there?”

  “Having a little trouble, actually,” she called back.

  Not the words he wanted to hear from his woman right now. Nigel flung a furry rodent off him long enough to turn to Natalie.

  She was hanging onto Mari, and he could see her whispering to the other woman, but it was clear from the look on Mari’s face that it wasn’t working. His heart softened as he watched how hard Natalie was trying. His woman had courage, she was a warrior, and she was accepting nothing less than victory. That’s my girl.

  His sweetie’s hair was on fire, her skin was smoking, and scales were beginning to form on her arms. Two horns were beginning to peek through her hair. His darling was turning into a hellion. How much time did she even have left of sanity? He remembered all too well what Smutty had been like when he’d been fully smutted. That simply couldn’t be allowed to happen.

  Another wolverine tackled, and Nigel went down under the impact. He rolled to the side, throwing it off him as he unleashed more living deaths into his assailants. They hit with unerring precision, hammering the monsters on all sides. Energy and power were rushing through him, and he knew that he was in total control of his weapons. He could take down Smutty, he could defeat the weasels, he was so close. He just needed a tiny window.

  Then there was a bellow and he jerked his gaze to see a huge clawed foot appear in the door, then a two-toned purple snout with teeth the size of Mount Everest.

  Holy crap.

  The wolverines attacking him were babies? And mama was pissed. His head started to throb again, and he saw Smutty back on his feet. “Son of a bitch.” This circus had to be cut short, and now. Mari was so powerful that Natalie needed extra juice. Chocolate or sex?

  He was engaged at the moment so… Nigel spun around and saw Maggie hiding under a bed in the corner. “Maggie!” Ducking another furry assault, he sprinted across the room. He scooped the girl up, cradled her against his chest, and shoved his way through the carnage. He could feel his adrenaline fading. Smutty was stealing hi
s power, his desire to fight and defend. He was stealing his aggression.

  The metal that had been racing around in his soul began to cool, and he swore as the blades stopped flying. The wolverines intercepted him, took him down. He tucked Maggie into the shield of his body, and he heard Natalie shouting at Mari, fighting desperately to make her listen. It was all going to shit.

  He needed to draw. He needed that sense of peace. He needed to clear all the crap out of him right now—

  Then a wolverine jumped onto Natalie. “Get off her!” He felt his entire soul scream with terror for her, for the woman he loved. For the woman he loved.

  The emotion swelled inside him, exploding like sunshine and fire and passion. It pierced Smutty’s iron grip on his mind, it filled him with power. It was what he’d always drawn, that passion, that fire, that crazy, convoluted empowering emotion that had come alive on his page so many times. It wasn’t anger anymore. No violence. No fury. It was love.

  And this time, he didn’t need to draw to access it. He owned it. It was in his soul. Love. He channeled it into his body, his passion flared brightly, and the blades came alive again. He threw every weapon he had into the monster trying to kill his woman, and the wolverine exploded. Natalie leapt to her feet, and her skin was pure bronze, horns ten inches long, and her face was contorted like only a demon’s could be.

  Now that was a woman with power. Was she a goddess or what?

  He kept up his assault on the clawed furballs and Smutty, but still they came as he shoved his way through the crowd to his woman. He dumped Maggie into her arms. “Use your chocolate power to make it happen! Now!”

  Natalie looked at him with horror, and he suddenly realized he could have made a huge, huge mistake.

  Ah, screw that. There was no time for mistakes.

  He was right.

  ***

  When it came to battle, Natalie trusted Nigel. She really did. But somehow, it seemed that delivering her Achilles heel into her arms in the middle of a particularly high stress moment wasn’t the absolute best choice that could have been made. “Nigel—”

  He took her face in his hands, and she felt his warmth and support flowing into her. Going past the darkness that was pulsing with her, easing her pain. “I love you, babe.”

  Her heart went still. “What?”

  “Natalie, your power comes from your soul. From your passion. From your heart. From your love.” A wolverine started gnawing on his ankle, and he ignored it. “It’s not your sexuality. It’s your love, your love of life, of victory, of yourself. Stop fearing who you are, stop fearing your passion, ride it, embrace it, and live it.” And then he kissed her, the most tender, loving kiss she’d ever experienced, which was just insane given the deadly chaos going on around them.

  And that’s what made it so special.

  Because it was pure beauty in the midst of hell. It was proof that even in the middle of all sorts of dark and negative energy, she could still find purity and peace simply by opening herself to it.

  Nigel pulled back and smiled. “I believe in you, sweetheart. Tap into that zest for life, that passion that has driven you over the edge, and let it flow.”

  A wolverine landed on his back and bit his neck.

  “Nigel!”

  “It’s about love.” He put her hand on his heart, seemingly oblivious to the wolverines bearing down on him, to Smutty giving him the evil eye, to the blades flying out of his back in a valiant and somewhat successful attempt to slow down the oncoming assault. “Feel the magic of the love within you, within us, and of the pure zest for life that is so powerful. Feel the ride.”

  His words were the poetry that had been in his art, the peace that had once been in his drawings. The juxtaposition of fire, passion, danger, along with peace and love. He had become his art. He had found his own place in the balance of everything. And it wasn’t coming from his drawing. It was coming from within.

  Her heart filled, and she smiled, suddenly, finally understanding the beauty of the power within her. “I love you, too.”

  “That’s my girl.” He kissed her. “Love yourself too—” The mama wolverine swooped down, clamped her jaws around his waist, and ripped him out of Natalie’s grasp.

  Nigel blew her a kiss. “Enjoy the ride, my love. That’s what it’s all about.” Then he twisted around and began to fight for his life.

  And she could fight, too. Still feeling Nigel’s warmth wrapped around her, Natalie picked up Maggie and pressed her face into the girl’s neck as the wolverine flung Nigel against the wall. He landed beside Smutty, and the dream genie leapt on top of him, and Nigel gave her a cheerful thumbs up before he disappeared beneath the onslaught.

  He loves me. Natalie opened her heart to that emotion, and she felt her walls fall. Power rushed through her, courage and strength. She smiled at the sweet young girl, the one she wanted to save, and she released the fear of hurting her. And with that, the need to kill her also left.

  Maggie’s eyes widened. “You’re okay?”

  “More than okay.” For the first time in her life, Natalie wasn’t holding herself back from who she was. Instead, she was tapping into it, and embracing who she was, and loving it. “Maggie, you need to make Mari smell chocolate.”

  Maggie’s face paled. “Won’t you kill me?”

  She grinned at the love warming her spirit. “Actually, I’m fine. Do it. Now.”

  “Okay.” Trusting her with her life, Maggie touched Mari’s face, and then the most delicious scent of chocolate filled the air. Mari took a deep breath and then shuddered.

  Chocolate contamination complete. Natalie looked at Mari with love, instead of fear, instead of desperation. This time, when she spoke, the power rolled off her tongue like a thunderstorm. “Mari, look at me.”

  The witch’s head swung toward her. It was working!

  Maggie put her other hand on the witch’s face, and more chocolate filled the air. So delicious and so decadent, it was so thick the air was almost brown as it dissolved Mari’s resistance and empowered Natalie.

  “You will call off the wolverines,” Natalie said quietly. “You will make them disappear right now.”

  Mari gaped at her. “No, I—” And then her attention went to the wolverines, and she whispered something, and then the furry beasts vanished.

  Nigel leapt to his feet, surprisingly unbloodied given his activities of the last few minutes.

  Oh, God. He was okay. Relief cascaded through Natalie, and she felt her knees grow weak. Then he pressed his hand to his head, and she realized he was still fighting off Smutty. “Nigel—”

  Nigel blew her a kiss. “I’m fine, my love. Now take care of yourself.” He turned toward Smutty and began to hammer at him with his weapons. “You will not take away my mind,” he shouted.

  “And the smut.” Natalie’s heart began to race as she turned toward Mari, desperate to get to Nigel. “And you will take the smut off me. Now! All of it!”

  Mari stared at her, and suddenly the room began to shift. Natalie’s body began to tremble, and then a hot burst of sunshine blasted the room, knocking her down.

  For a moment, an eternity, the light was so bright Natalie couldn’t see, and she felt as if her eyelids were being scorched. But at the same time, the heat felt marvelous, as if it were healing the deepest recesses of her soul.

  The light finally faded, and she opened her eyes. She was on the ground beside Maggie.

  “Hey, hey, I’ve got you.” Nigel was beside her, holding onto her. He was covered in blood, his skin was shredded, and he was missing several chunks of flesh that were already healing. But he looked happy, and so proud. He grinned. “You are one tricky girl.”

  “I am?” Tricky was good, right? “What happened?”

  Maggie leaned over her and applauded. “You did it! You shut her down and took the smut off.”

  “I did?” Hot damn. She would be so impressed with herself if that was true.

  “Yeah, babe.” Nigel held up her hand an
d kissed her palm. “Look at your skin, sweetheart.”

  Natalie looked down at her hand encased in his and saw healthy, human flesh. No bronze metal, no claws, just herself. Disbelief, glee, and delight sprung up inside her, and she sat up. “Oh, my God. I did it!”

  “You did it.” Nigel hugged her, and Maggie tackled her, and Natalie laughed gloriously. Nigel and Maggie, the two people who had been such a threat to her when she’d met them. The sexual side of Nigel, the chocolate side of Maggie, and yet they had both turned out to be her greatest strength.

  She stroked Nigel’s face, her fingers running over his prickly whiskers. “Thank you for showing me how to not be afraid.”

  He kissed the tips of her fingers. “Sweetheart, you’re the one who taught me not to resist myself. You showed me the peace I’ve been searching for.” He touched her cheek. “You are my angel, Natalie Fleming.”

  Natalie felt her heart begin to swell with love, and she didn’t hide from it. Instead, she allowed the fullness of the emotion to fill her, and it felt wonderful. “I love you.”

  “Well, I’ll just go check on the others.” Maggie cleared her throat and hurried across the room.

  Natalie suddenly remembered where they were. “No, watch out for Smutty—” Then she stopped in surprise. Across the room, sitting down and looking very confused, was a large, black shaggy dog. “Smutty?”

  “When Mari took the smut off you, some of it went back to him.” Nigel grinned. “Now he’s back where he belongs. Insane and in dog form, where he can’t take over the world. We’ll have to lock him up before he goes back into murderous serial killer mode, though. The dog form won’t hang around for long.”

  “What about Mari?” Natalie saw Nigel’s chains were empty. Mari was no longer trapped. “Where’d she go? Did she get some of her smut back?”

  “I’m not sure—” Then Nigel grinned and nodded behind her. “Check it out.”

  Natalie followed his gaze and saw a giant black lizard slithering across the floor toward the door. “That’s Mari?”